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[URL]http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17704[/URL]
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
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[URL]http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17704[/URL]
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
Sounds delightful *licks finger*
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals."
Sick fcuk.
Actually, Seagal is all right at the old kung fu but is acting is rubbish.
Still, he's the one laughing, no matter what we say about him he is still wealthy and people will still go and watch/buy his films. He's the real winner, really.
Sick fcuk.
Actually, Seagal is all right at the old kung fu but is acting is rubbish.
Still, he's the one laughing, no matter what we say about him he is still wealthy and people will still go and watch/buy his films. He's the real winner, really.
Seagal movies never interest me, because most his movies has got crap story line and low budget movies just like Van Dam films.
I like seagal films simply for the amount of un-necessary violence and one liners.
A man attacks steven - should he block the punch and knock him out?
no, he should break his arm, stick a knife in his back, and throw him through a plate-glass window.
that's ma boy
A man attacks steven - should he block the punch and knock him out?
no, he should break his arm, stick a knife in his back, and throw him through a plate-glass window.
that's ma boy
Steven Seagal films
Above The Law
Hard To Kill
Marked For Death
Out For JusticeUnder Siege
On Deadly GroundUnder Siege 2
Executive Decision
The Glimmer Man
Fire Down Below
The Patriot
Exit WoundsTicker
Half Past Dead
The ForeignerOut For A Kill
Belly Of The Beast
Above The Law
Hard To Kill
Marked For Death
Out For JusticeUnder Siege
On Deadly GroundUnder Siege 2
Executive Decision
The Glimmer Man
Fire Down Below
The Patriot
Exit WoundsTicker
Half Past Dead
The ForeignerOut For A Kill
Belly Of The Beast
Supersaiyan wrote:
> Seagal movies never interest me, because most his movies has got crap
> story line and low budget movies just like Van Dam films.
Van Damme? Now you're talking! The man must have a new clause in his contract that says he'll only appear in a movie if he gets to act opposite himself, as his twin/double agent. And you can guarantee there'll be a scene where one poorly shaded Van Damme hands his other oddly framed companion a piece of paper/sandwich/microfish.
The wonders of special effects!
> Seagal movies never interest me, because most his movies has got crap
> story line and low budget movies just like Van Dam films.
Van Damme? Now you're talking! The man must have a new clause in his contract that says he'll only appear in a movie if he gets to act opposite himself, as his twin/double agent. And you can guarantee there'll be a scene where one poorly shaded Van Damme hands his other oddly framed companion a piece of paper/sandwich/microfish.
The wonders of special effects!
Sweet!
I love Seagal. Really. He really is one of the greatest entertainers of all time.
For example: Lost In Translation v Under Siege 2.
Most critics would scream if anyone said Under Siege 2 is better. But it is. Because why oh why would I want to watch a movie about a guy speaking to a hot chick in a bar? I do that. It's not like I aspire to mundanity.
But, I wouldn't mind being able to have a huge fight on a train and blow up stuff whilst saving the world from an orbitting laser gun.
I love Seagal. Really. He really is one of the greatest entertainers of all time.
For example: Lost In Translation v Under Siege 2.
Most critics would scream if anyone said Under Siege 2 is better. But it is. Because why oh why would I want to watch a movie about a guy speaking to a hot chick in a bar? I do that. It's not like I aspire to mundanity.
But, I wouldn't mind being able to have a huge fight on a train and blow up stuff whilst saving the world from an orbitting laser gun.
'Half Past Dead'
I must see this.
I must see this.
Van Damme should be killed.
No, I mean it, I hate him with a passion. He is without doubt the WORST 'actor' on the planet.
If you want to laugh yourself to death, watch a film, starring Van Jackass, called 'Knock Off'.
No, I mean it, I hate him with a passion. He is without doubt the WORST 'actor' on the planet.
If you want to laugh yourself to death, watch a film, starring Van Jackass, called 'Knock Off'.
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