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"SSC5 : The Mask of Mr Markopan"

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Wed 02/06/04 at 02:39
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Jack swirled through an invisible tunnel, his head spinning like the merry go round he used to play on as a boy, when all in life was simple and straight forward. When the spinning eventually came to an abrupt halt, he found himself flung forward into a dimly lit, silent room. At the other end, a solitary figure stood, peering out of the window to the street below, a beam of orange light coming through the slightly out of place blinds that shielded the room from the outside world.

A knock behind him made Jack jump, and as he turned around, he saw he had been standing in front of the single entrance to the room, an old door with a single rusting lock.

The man by the window swung round and looked straight through Jack, at the door.

‘She’s here,’ the man muttered and walked towards the door, his shoes clunking on the bare wooden floor. He reached forward and undid the latch that held the door closed, his hand passing just millimetres from Jack’s icy, lifeless face.

In through the door came a young, beautiful girl, in a long dark overcoat, with a bag grasped tightly in her hand.

‘You came,’ the man said, almost in a voice which suggested he wish she hadn’t.

‘Weren’t you expecting me to?’ the mysterious woman replied, in a toying voice, it was very clear who was in control of the situation.

She took hold of his tie, and twirled it carelessly around her index finger, gradually pulling him closer to her, until their bodies were almost touching. Her almost too perfect breasts just touched his chest, his heart beating rapidly inside.

‘A…are you sure this is right?’ the man stammered as she pulled him even closer, her breasts now pressed hard against his chest.

‘You want it, I want it,’ she replied with a confident snap, and with that she pressed her lips against his, running her hand up to his neatly cropped head of hair.

Jack could take the pain no longer, and brought his sweaty hands up to his face, where he clasped the thin metallic mask on his face, and pulled it away. A jolt of physical pain ripped through his body as the mask and his face lost contact.

‘I told you it would be painful,’ a man in the shadows said, in an ‘I told you so’ voice, that patronising people use.

This was Mr Markopan, the most wanted and most valuable man in the entire world. Many had heard of he and his ideas, little had met him. Even fewer had experienced the full Mask effect, Jack was one of those ‘lucky’ few.

‘The thing I hate about having invented this, is it’s always used for the sad purposes. No one ever comes to me to look for something happy that will happen in their future,’ he commented.

Jack paid little attention to the man that stood before him, instead he was concentrating on what he had just witnessed.

Had it been her?

Was he sure?

She wouldn’t do that to him!

Would she?

What he had seen was simple, it was his wife having an affair. Not just an affair with a random man, but with his best friend. Even thinking about it made him feel sick.

Why was he surprised?

He had known what was going on, that’s why he had come to Mr Markopan, he just needed to witness it for himself, and that was exactly what the mask had allowed him to do.

‘I think we’re forgetting something,’ Mr Markopan said as he emerged from the shadows, allowing Jack to see his face in the light. Before him stood a well built man, he must have been in his forties Jack decided. A neat suit hung off his body, and his dark brown hair was slickly gelled into place.

‘Yes, I believe we have,’ Jack replied, as he reached into the interior pocket of his own, rather scruffier suit. He pulled out a light brown envelope, thickly padded with endless twenty pound notes.

‘Thank you,’ the man said, before turning and leaving the room through a side door, leaving Jack sitting there on a sofa, with purely the mask for company.

With a rush of blood, he picked up the silver mask and ran out of the room by the other entrance. With the lights on the mask flashing green still, he dashed up the dimly lit staircase and kept going up and up, until he reached a door marked ‘Entry to Roof, Authorised Access Only!’

He pushed open the door by the bar and ran out into the cool evening breeze.

‘Stop!’ The call came from behind him, and turned to see Mr Markopan standing in the entrance, his arms outstretched in such a way that it looked like he was praying to Jack.

Jack didn’t stop, but kept running over to the edge of the roof, where he outstretched his arm and held the still flashing mask over the edge.

‘This mask does nothing but cause misery, it shouldn’t be allowed to exist,’ Jack cried so as to be heard over wind.

‘It’s my life’s work, please, I’m begging you, don’t drop it. It’ll take me months, years even to make a new one, and even then it may not have the same effect.’

Mr Markopan stepped out onto the roof, and started walking slowly towards Jack.

‘Come any closer, and the mask goes, with me too!’

Then, out of the door came rushing two figures, giggling, obviously unaware they had company.

‘Stupid woman, still, I think we left her behind, she’ll never know who we were,’ the woman giggled with delight as the two walked out, hand in hand.

It couldn’t be…

‘Sarah?’

The woman turned and looked straight into Jack’s eyes.

‘Jack?’

‘J….Jack….it isn’t what it looks like, promise mate.’

‘Don’t you ‘mate’ me. You were meant to be my best mate. How could you? I hate you both!’

With that, he turned and ran towards the edge of the building where he flung himself off, the mask still clenched firmly in his hand. He had thought of leaving it, but he stuck with his original decision that all it brought was pain and anger.

He released the mask and as he neared his end, he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Happiness.

The knowledge that it was all about to end.

Jack hit the ground sixty floors below and was killed instantly. The mask fell a few seconds later, smashing into a thousand pieces. The world wasn’t ready for technology like that Jack decided as he ascended the stairs to heaven.

Peace at last.
Thu 03/06/04 at 15:53
Regular
"SOUP!"
Posts: 13,017
My name is copyrighted, don't use that either.
Thu 03/06/04 at 15:47
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Hehe, 'Credit goes to Kyle Hastings'
Thu 03/06/04 at 15:31
Regular
"SOUP!"
Posts: 13,017
The best bit was the "merry-go-round" simile, that I told you.

:-D

Good story.
Wed 02/06/04 at 20:49
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Thanks guys!
Wed 02/06/04 at 19:07
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
A good read, and a nice story - a bit like Kyz's in some ways.
The only fault I can find is that someimes it was unclear as to who was speaking.

Other than that, well done - I enjoyed reading it, which is most important.
Wed 02/06/04 at 17:53
Regular
"Digging!"
Posts: 1,560
Why don't I have an imagination that can do that? I've been thinking about a plot that I could use to enter with off and on for about 2 days now, and every idea I get is awful. Still, good read with a nice dark plot.
Wed 02/06/04 at 16:49
Regular
"Not a Jew"
Posts: 7,532
Ha! His evil backstabbing mate..
Liked it, only bit I didn't think flowed was the bit at the end, "world not ready for technology...as he ascended the stairs to heaven" - could do with some polishing, that bit.
Wed 02/06/04 at 15:47
Regular
"Laughingstock"
Posts: 3,522
I just read it, and I liked it. Kinda fast-and-free-flowing. Interesting sci-fi use of the mask. Yeah, good. The Markopan myth grows...

If you want to edit, feel free, but I'll be judging this comp more on "the idea" and the images created in the reader, rather than technicalities
Wed 02/06/04 at 15:40
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
I'm not sure although Meka edited his. You could always ask in the SSC thread started by Black Glove. I'm sure he'll answer in there as I don't know if he plans to read the stories anonymously anymore so not sure he'll see it in here
Wed 02/06/04 at 15:33
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Yeh, once briefly, wanted to post it before I went to bed, and wanted to go, so it was kinda rushed.

Do the rules allow me to edit it?

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