The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Yes indeed, 6 - it did go that far.
Lucky you.
In case you forgot, or forgot to care: The story so far ...
Er ....
Basically, gerrid and AJ are looking for Tony. They went many places, and usually had secks with most of the inhabitants. Memo’s grotty luv grotto being a most delicious area.
The Rev. Snuggly also married Nash and Memo and there was something else about exploding ass burgers.
Haha, ‘story’ indeed.
Ho-hum.
SR SOAP 6: The Secrets of Gerrid’s Passage
AJ burst into the room.
“Stop!’ He did proclaim.
“Very good.” The gerrid was heard to comment. “Now - do it again. More burstily + more bustily. Aha. No-one’s going to be scared / surprised / caught in the act if you can’t burst into a room properly”
AJ burst into the room. A lot.
“Stop!” He did proclaim, sticking out his chest.
“Hmmmm ....” (gerrid) “You’re not giving me much to work with here.”
The AJ looked most downhearted. He’d already spent all his pocket-money on a ten-pack of Andrex to pad out his bra. And not even a well-loosened puppy to show for his efforts.
‘What it I had a gun?” AJ asked.
Gerrid winced. “W-”
“Nono! A sword!”
“We-”
‘Nono! A shelf!”
“Wel-”
“Nono! A pen!”
“Well-”
“Nono! A rock!”
“Oh sure, we can afford that.” Gerrid rummaged around in his secret compartment, produced several dozen ferret-people, a glove, some pasta (the twirly ones), a safe and finally a rock.
“Wooooo.... !” said AJ, with much gusto. “Slimy!”
“Good. Now do it again - with more allure”
AJ burst into the room. A lot.
“Stop!’ He did proclaim, sticking out his chest and waving a rock in the air.
Gerrid fainted, whimpering in a fully-aroused, semiconsciousness.
AJ’s gaze rove over gerrid’s beautiful body like a lame toucan.
“Ooh!” He squealed. “Sleeping secks! My favourite.”
Gerrid moaned slightly.
“Yeah, baby. Don’t mind if I do.” AJ said, and dived in (rock inclusive).
**
“Oi!” Someone shouted.
AJ blinked into the darkness, at the shape huddled there.
“Who’s there?” He asked, “Mummy?”
“No, foolish child.” The throbbing chamber was suddenly lit-up from a series of lights, powered only by the excess sexual giblets gerrid carried in his cavities.
And there - leaning against a pulsating, s***-strung wall - was Armitage Shanks. Chewing on a ‘misplaced’ cucumber.
“Shanks!?” AJ did say, “So this is where you went?”
“Sadly, yes. The boy-child sat on me. There was a lot of suction. I don’t think it was an accident.”
AJ shook his head sadly - what a lucky guy, he always had to pay for it.
“You look ... surprisingly well, considering you’ve been stuck up gerrid’s ass for 3 years.”
“Hmmm ... yes, he does lose a unusual amount of razors in here - electric ones usually, still buzzing. And soap. And a shower-head one time. A lot of creams as well - moisturiser, I think.”
AJ gave a nervous little cough.
“Yes ... moisturiser, I’m sure.”
There was a few minutes silence, filled only by the ever-humming of the mojo-powered generator, and the slow tap-tap-taping of keyboard keys from some nether-regions of the ass sack.
“Er ....”
“Sooooo .... “
...
...
“There’ll be a brilliant plot happening in a minute.”
“Oh, for sure.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen this guy’s work before - he’s amazing.”
...
...
...
”ahem”
...
Oh yeah, sorry.
And then, suddenly ...
Nash rounded the corner.
‘This!” He announced, to the small group of people following behind him, “Is djerrud’s colon.”
“Ooohhh! Ahhhhhh! Wooooooo!” went the crowd.
“No flash photography, please.” Nash said, “This particular colon was established in 1946, after WWII when the original was removed.”
“Did it help beat the Germans?” someone asked (pick a name)
“Who?” Nash looked a little confused, “Germans? What are you on about?”
“But you said ... in the war th-”
“War? What war? What are you on about? Speak sense, man.”
“But you just said”
‘Listen, faggotface, I’m taking you on a tour of gerrid’s ass - we actually walking around inside his ass. His ass, man - his ass Do you really think anything I say can be relied upon?”
“Well ... I suppose.”
‘Thank you. Now - where was I .... ah yes. This is gerrid’s colon - the original was removed during the Second World War where it was use to great effect to beat them Germans.”
“But-”
“His ASS.”
“Sorry.”
“Nash!?” AJ asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Ah! AJ, my good man - fancy a tour of gerrid’s ass? Only $9.95 a go - anything you dig up, you get to take home!”
AJ considered this for a moment.
“Well ... that’s quite reasonable.”
“I thought so.”
Armitage peeled himself from the wall. (Pay attention, now.)
“That’s not what Tony said.” He muttered. Yes, actually muttered. Muttered, I say.
“What?” AJ spake, “You saw Tony?”
“Depends who’s asking.”
“I am.”
“Oh ... yeah, sorry. I saw him, he came through here a while back, tried to blag a free tour.”
[Don’t you just love it when some kind of plot emerges? It’s wonderful - for me at least. *Wipes*]
“Git.” gerrid said.
“Gerrid! You saw Tony too? Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I did - I said, ‘Oi, Tonty - it’s $9.95, end of story. I don’t care who you are, old man, pay the money or get lost.’”
“Nono - why didn’t you tell me? Or gerrid - we’re looking for him, remember?”
“Yeah ... why is that exactly?”
**Due to confidentiality reasons, the answer to this question has been edited from the final manuscript. Don’t misunderstand - there is a good answer, a very good answer. You’re just not allowed to see it.**
“Ahhhhh...I see.” Nash said approvingly, “That’s a fantastic reason, I can see why you decided to try and find him now. I’m sorry I never told you, I didn’t think it was that important.”
“Well,” AJ said, “Did you at least see where he went?”
“Nope.”
“Shanks?”
“Depends who’s asking.”
“...”
“I saw alright- I saw exactly where he went. And I’ll tell you where - I’ll tell you right now. Right this instant.”
Suddenly (yeah, that again - sorrah!) there was a strange rumbling in the magnificent ass cavity.
“Oh no!” Nash squealed, “The gerrid is peaking! This could get messy.”
AJ thunk for a bit.
“This is perfect way to escape,” he said, “We wait for the climax, and get blown out in the process.”
Nash looked unimpressed.
“Why don’t you just go back out his ass? The hole’s right over there, flapping.”
“Shhhh!” AJ hissed, “We have to go my way - we’ll meet wimmel along the way, and then more plot stuff will happen.”
“Really!” Nash said, excited (visually so) “We see the wimmel? Really - wimmel!?”
“Uh-huh - come on! Oh, Shanks - you too. You can tell us all about Tony when we get out.”
**
As the group moved further inside gerrid, the sound (that sound I mentioned before - the tap-tapping of keyboard keys) intensified. And, halfway to the penile section, they met wimmel, sat down with a laptop on his ... lap.
“Amsterdam ... “ He mumbled. Yes, mumbled. “Dissertation .... Englich ... backpacks .... survey .... thankyou .... wimmel.”
That’s about it, really.
But - look - it’s wimmel. Wimmel for God’s sake, WIMMEL
Oh, wait. I thought of something. Something good.
AJ held out his rock (yes, I forgot about that too).
“Hey wimmel, here you are.” He handed to the wimmel.
“Backpack?” wimmel asked.
“No - rock”
“Dissertation?”
“Nono - rock”
“Rock?”
“Yes, very good,” AJ said.
The wimmel looked immensely pleased, and started typing again, mumbling as he wrote.
“Amsterdam .... dissertation .... rocks .... survey ..... Englich rocks .... thankyou ... wimmel”
**
Gerrid exploded with practised ferocity, sending jets of the stuff across the room and onto the ceiling - and through the ceiling.
He woke at the same time - the force of ten thousands jisms throwing him backwards across the room.
“AJ, hi.” He wiggled a bit, “What? No sleeping secks? I’m disappointed in you.”
“Sorry, honey - but look! It’s Shanks!”
gerrid looked a little embarrassed. “Oh yeah ... him.”
“And he knows about Tony!”
“What did he say?”
“He hasn’t told me yet - hey Shanks! Shanks! Wake up!”
But Shanks was dead - gone, passed away. The spurt had pushed him over the edge.
His spirit lingered a little, wiping itself off on the curtains.
“.... ask Kyz ....” Came the near-silent, last breath.
Ooohhh ... plottish ....
**END**
Hurrah!
Lucky you.
In case you forgot, or forgot to care: The story so far ...
Er ....
Basically, gerrid and AJ are looking for Tony. They went many places, and usually had secks with most of the inhabitants. Memo’s grotty luv grotto being a most delicious area.
The Rev. Snuggly also married Nash and Memo and there was something else about exploding ass burgers.
Haha, ‘story’ indeed.
Ho-hum.
SR SOAP 6: The Secrets of Gerrid’s Passage
AJ burst into the room.
“Stop!’ He did proclaim.
“Very good.” The gerrid was heard to comment. “Now - do it again. More burstily + more bustily. Aha. No-one’s going to be scared / surprised / caught in the act if you can’t burst into a room properly”
AJ burst into the room. A lot.
“Stop!” He did proclaim, sticking out his chest.
“Hmmmm ....” (gerrid) “You’re not giving me much to work with here.”
The AJ looked most downhearted. He’d already spent all his pocket-money on a ten-pack of Andrex to pad out his bra. And not even a well-loosened puppy to show for his efforts.
‘What it I had a gun?” AJ asked.
Gerrid winced. “W-”
“Nono! A sword!”
“We-”
‘Nono! A shelf!”
“Wel-”
“Nono! A pen!”
“Well-”
“Nono! A rock!”
“Oh sure, we can afford that.” Gerrid rummaged around in his secret compartment, produced several dozen ferret-people, a glove, some pasta (the twirly ones), a safe and finally a rock.
“Wooooo.... !” said AJ, with much gusto. “Slimy!”
“Good. Now do it again - with more allure”
AJ burst into the room. A lot.
“Stop!’ He did proclaim, sticking out his chest and waving a rock in the air.
Gerrid fainted, whimpering in a fully-aroused, semiconsciousness.
AJ’s gaze rove over gerrid’s beautiful body like a lame toucan.
“Ooh!” He squealed. “Sleeping secks! My favourite.”
Gerrid moaned slightly.
“Yeah, baby. Don’t mind if I do.” AJ said, and dived in (rock inclusive).
**
“Oi!” Someone shouted.
AJ blinked into the darkness, at the shape huddled there.
“Who’s there?” He asked, “Mummy?”
“No, foolish child.” The throbbing chamber was suddenly lit-up from a series of lights, powered only by the excess sexual giblets gerrid carried in his cavities.
And there - leaning against a pulsating, s***-strung wall - was Armitage Shanks. Chewing on a ‘misplaced’ cucumber.
“Shanks!?” AJ did say, “So this is where you went?”
“Sadly, yes. The boy-child sat on me. There was a lot of suction. I don’t think it was an accident.”
AJ shook his head sadly - what a lucky guy, he always had to pay for it.
“You look ... surprisingly well, considering you’ve been stuck up gerrid’s ass for 3 years.”
“Hmmm ... yes, he does lose a unusual amount of razors in here - electric ones usually, still buzzing. And soap. And a shower-head one time. A lot of creams as well - moisturiser, I think.”
AJ gave a nervous little cough.
“Yes ... moisturiser, I’m sure.”
There was a few minutes silence, filled only by the ever-humming of the mojo-powered generator, and the slow tap-tap-taping of keyboard keys from some nether-regions of the ass sack.
“Er ....”
“Sooooo .... “
...
...
“There’ll be a brilliant plot happening in a minute.”
“Oh, for sure.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen this guy’s work before - he’s amazing.”
...
...
...
”ahem”
...
Oh yeah, sorry.
And then, suddenly ...
Nash rounded the corner.
‘This!” He announced, to the small group of people following behind him, “Is djerrud’s colon.”
“Ooohhh! Ahhhhhh! Wooooooo!” went the crowd.
“No flash photography, please.” Nash said, “This particular colon was established in 1946, after WWII when the original was removed.”
“Did it help beat the Germans?” someone asked (pick a name)
“Who?” Nash looked a little confused, “Germans? What are you on about?”
“But you said ... in the war th-”
“War? What war? What are you on about? Speak sense, man.”
“But you just said”
‘Listen, faggotface, I’m taking you on a tour of gerrid’s ass - we actually walking around inside his ass. His ass, man - his ass Do you really think anything I say can be relied upon?”
“Well ... I suppose.”
‘Thank you. Now - where was I .... ah yes. This is gerrid’s colon - the original was removed during the Second World War where it was use to great effect to beat them Germans.”
“But-”
“His ASS.”
“Sorry.”
“Nash!?” AJ asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Ah! AJ, my good man - fancy a tour of gerrid’s ass? Only $9.95 a go - anything you dig up, you get to take home!”
AJ considered this for a moment.
“Well ... that’s quite reasonable.”
“I thought so.”
Armitage peeled himself from the wall. (Pay attention, now.)
“That’s not what Tony said.” He muttered. Yes, actually muttered. Muttered, I say.
“What?” AJ spake, “You saw Tony?”
“Depends who’s asking.”
“I am.”
“Oh ... yeah, sorry. I saw him, he came through here a while back, tried to blag a free tour.”
[Don’t you just love it when some kind of plot emerges? It’s wonderful - for me at least. *Wipes*]
“Git.” gerrid said.
“Gerrid! You saw Tony too? Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I did - I said, ‘Oi, Tonty - it’s $9.95, end of story. I don’t care who you are, old man, pay the money or get lost.’”
“Nono - why didn’t you tell me? Or gerrid - we’re looking for him, remember?”
“Yeah ... why is that exactly?”
**Due to confidentiality reasons, the answer to this question has been edited from the final manuscript. Don’t misunderstand - there is a good answer, a very good answer. You’re just not allowed to see it.**
“Ahhhhh...I see.” Nash said approvingly, “That’s a fantastic reason, I can see why you decided to try and find him now. I’m sorry I never told you, I didn’t think it was that important.”
“Well,” AJ said, “Did you at least see where he went?”
“Nope.”
“Shanks?”
“Depends who’s asking.”
“...”
“I saw alright- I saw exactly where he went. And I’ll tell you where - I’ll tell you right now. Right this instant.”
Suddenly (yeah, that again - sorrah!) there was a strange rumbling in the magnificent ass cavity.
“Oh no!” Nash squealed, “The gerrid is peaking! This could get messy.”
AJ thunk for a bit.
“This is perfect way to escape,” he said, “We wait for the climax, and get blown out in the process.”
Nash looked unimpressed.
“Why don’t you just go back out his ass? The hole’s right over there, flapping.”
“Shhhh!” AJ hissed, “We have to go my way - we’ll meet wimmel along the way, and then more plot stuff will happen.”
“Really!” Nash said, excited (visually so) “We see the wimmel? Really - wimmel!?”
“Uh-huh - come on! Oh, Shanks - you too. You can tell us all about Tony when we get out.”
**
As the group moved further inside gerrid, the sound (that sound I mentioned before - the tap-tapping of keyboard keys) intensified. And, halfway to the penile section, they met wimmel, sat down with a laptop on his ... lap.
“Amsterdam ... “ He mumbled. Yes, mumbled. “Dissertation .... Englich ... backpacks .... survey .... thankyou .... wimmel.”
That’s about it, really.
But - look - it’s wimmel. Wimmel for God’s sake, WIMMEL
Oh, wait. I thought of something. Something good.
AJ held out his rock (yes, I forgot about that too).
“Hey wimmel, here you are.” He handed to the wimmel.
“Backpack?” wimmel asked.
“No - rock”
“Dissertation?”
“Nono - rock”
“Rock?”
“Yes, very good,” AJ said.
The wimmel looked immensely pleased, and started typing again, mumbling as he wrote.
“Amsterdam .... dissertation .... rocks .... survey ..... Englich rocks .... thankyou ... wimmel”
**
Gerrid exploded with practised ferocity, sending jets of the stuff across the room and onto the ceiling - and through the ceiling.
He woke at the same time - the force of ten thousands jisms throwing him backwards across the room.
“AJ, hi.” He wiggled a bit, “What? No sleeping secks? I’m disappointed in you.”
“Sorry, honey - but look! It’s Shanks!”
gerrid looked a little embarrassed. “Oh yeah ... him.”
“And he knows about Tony!”
“What did he say?”
“He hasn’t told me yet - hey Shanks! Shanks! Wake up!”
But Shanks was dead - gone, passed away. The spurt had pushed him over the edge.
His spirit lingered a little, wiping itself off on the curtains.
“.... ask Kyz ....” Came the near-silent, last breath.
Ooohhh ... plottish ....
**END**
Hurrah!
Page:
my fingers are sweeting.
*reaches for tissues, but falls off chair*
*reaches for tissues, but falls off chair*
And wimmel isn't capitalised. He's a dirty commie, so it's his way of being anti-capitalist.
All my keys are sticky.
But I wouldn't dare insult the wimmel like that
But I wouldn't dare insult the wimmel like that
my ll key is sticky
wimmel's gonna beat you for that, Kyz.
Two Ls makes him grumpy.
Two Ls makes him grumpy.
Paradox: wrote:
> What the HELL just happened?
>
> Oh and the inclusion of Wimmell, excellent!
WIMMEL
You should be ashamed.
> What the HELL just happened?
>
> Oh and the inclusion of Wimmell, excellent!
WIMMEL
You should be ashamed.
What the HELL just happened?
Oh and the inclusion of Wimmell, excellent!
Oh and the inclusion of Wimmell, excellent!
Yes, wimmel.
No more, I think.
No more, I think.
FFF is the ultimate winnar.
You've got to love wimmel.
Page: