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Apparently Werewolf Was Allergic To Peanuts
NEW ORLEANS—The werewolf who died while attacking a young woman Sunday must have been allergic to peanuts, experts said Tuesday. "The wolfman crashed through the intended victim's front window, but before the accursed beast could tear her apart in a savage fury, he stepped in a bowl of honey-roasted peanuts," said Dr. Alex Price, professor of lycanthropic studies at Tulane University. "Within seconds, the hellbeast's face began to swell, and he collapsed into an anaphylactic attack, unable to breathe." Price said that, had the werewolf not been more animal than man at the time of the attack, he likely would have used the epinephrine injection pen paramedics found in the breast pocket of his shirt.
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Yeah, it's really cliche to love The Onion, but this made me laugh like a spaz. Go now! [URL]http://www.theonion.com[/URL]
NEW ORLEANS—The werewolf who died while attacking a young woman Sunday must have been allergic to peanuts, experts said Tuesday. "The wolfman crashed through the intended victim's front window, but before the accursed beast could tear her apart in a savage fury, he stepped in a bowl of honey-roasted peanuts," said Dr. Alex Price, professor of lycanthropic studies at Tulane University. "Within seconds, the hellbeast's face began to swell, and he collapsed into an anaphylactic attack, unable to breathe." Price said that, had the werewolf not been more animal than man at the time of the attack, he likely would have used the epinephrine injection pen paramedics found in the breast pocket of his shirt.
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Yeah, it's really cliche to love The Onion, but this made me laugh like a spaz. Go now! [URL]http://www.theonion.com[/URL]
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I love honey roasted peanuts.
If I was a werewolf and I trod in a bowl of them, screw human flesh, I'd have the nuts away instead, no contest.
Thank god I'm not allergic to them. Phew.
On the other hand, I am alergic to morphine (as the docs discovered when they filled me with it ¦^) ) - which probably rules out heroine too, so I have to settle for a life-destroying addiction to fancy nuts instead. *Sigh*
If I was a werewolf and I trod in a bowl of them, screw human flesh, I'd have the nuts away instead, no contest.
Thank god I'm not allergic to them. Phew.
On the other hand, I am alergic to morphine (as the docs discovered when they filled me with it ¦^) ) - which probably rules out heroine too, so I have to settle for a life-destroying addiction to fancy nuts instead. *Sigh*
Heh, cool.
Ha. The last line is classic.
Apparently Werewolf Was Allergic To Peanuts
NEW ORLEANS—The werewolf who died while attacking a young woman Sunday must have been allergic to peanuts, experts said Tuesday. "The wolfman crashed through the intended victim's front window, but before the accursed beast could tear her apart in a savage fury, he stepped in a bowl of honey-roasted peanuts," said Dr. Alex Price, professor of lycanthropic studies at Tulane University. "Within seconds, the hellbeast's face began to swell, and he collapsed into an anaphylactic attack, unable to breathe." Price said that, had the werewolf not been more animal than man at the time of the attack, he likely would have used the epinephrine injection pen paramedics found in the breast pocket of his shirt.
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Yeah, it's really cliche to love The Onion, but this made me laugh like a spaz. Go now! [URL]http://www.theonion.com[/URL]
NEW ORLEANS—The werewolf who died while attacking a young woman Sunday must have been allergic to peanuts, experts said Tuesday. "The wolfman crashed through the intended victim's front window, but before the accursed beast could tear her apart in a savage fury, he stepped in a bowl of honey-roasted peanuts," said Dr. Alex Price, professor of lycanthropic studies at Tulane University. "Within seconds, the hellbeast's face began to swell, and he collapsed into an anaphylactic attack, unable to breathe." Price said that, had the werewolf not been more animal than man at the time of the attack, he likely would have used the epinephrine injection pen paramedics found in the breast pocket of his shirt.
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Yeah, it's really cliche to love The Onion, but this made me laugh like a spaz. Go now! [URL]http://www.theonion.com[/URL]
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