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In a darkened classroom in Bristol, a teacher pressed the play button on a tatty old VCR mounted in the corner of a classroom beneath a fuzzy old television set. A roomful of teenagers with slackened ties around their necks and acne invading their faces gazed up at the television, waiting for the educational video to begin.
An elderly man with nasal hair dressed in a starched grey suit appeared on the screen. “Hello children” he began “I have a story for you”
The shadow of a boom microphone reflected from his gleaming bald head
“This is a story about morals; it is important for you to build a social conscience and be aware of your surroundings – else you could fall victim to a crime! And we wouldn’t want that now – would we?”
The old man gazed blindly at the autocue
“Here is a story of two pandas that will teach you about the dangers of strangers and drugs.”
The old man attached some steel-rimmed reading glasses to his face, opened a thick hardback book and began reading.
A panda walked over and sat on a tree-stump
Another closely followed
“What’s that you’re eating?” asked panda 1
Panda 2 quickly swallowed
“Cheesecake, my good man”, replied panda 2
Wiping fruit from his face in glee
“It’s got redcurrant and blackberry and tastes just divine!
Why don’t you enjoy some with me?”
After ponderous thought Panda 1 exclaimed,
“You know, I think I just might!”
He reached for a fork and began to tuck in
and licked his lips in delight
“I feel as if I’ve tasted heaven itself
My friend this food is delicious!”
“No ordinary food” panda 2 said
“Its imported direct from Mauritius!”
“You see, children – if the pandas were real people and the cheesecake was drugs – we’d have a moral situation. And what do we say when strangers offer us cheesecake? – that’s right, you say ‘no’, that’s right!”
“F**k this” shouted Billy Gardner, standing up from his desk in the classroom in Bristol – “I don’t need to be patronised by some old gimp – I’m going home”
He left the classroom with his backpack slung over his shoulder and not a care in the world. But he’d never know what to do if a filthy Mauritian drug baron offered him some cheesecake.
Poor lad.
An elderly man with nasal hair dressed in a starched grey suit appeared on the screen. “Hello children” he began “I have a story for you”
The shadow of a boom microphone reflected from his gleaming bald head
“This is a story about morals; it is important for you to build a social conscience and be aware of your surroundings – else you could fall victim to a crime! And we wouldn’t want that now – would we?”
The old man gazed blindly at the autocue
“Here is a story of two pandas that will teach you about the dangers of strangers and drugs.”
The old man attached some steel-rimmed reading glasses to his face, opened a thick hardback book and began reading.
A panda walked over and sat on a tree-stump
Another closely followed
“What’s that you’re eating?” asked panda 1
Panda 2 quickly swallowed
“Cheesecake, my good man”, replied panda 2
Wiping fruit from his face in glee
“It’s got redcurrant and blackberry and tastes just divine!
Why don’t you enjoy some with me?”
After ponderous thought Panda 1 exclaimed,
“You know, I think I just might!”
He reached for a fork and began to tuck in
and licked his lips in delight
“I feel as if I’ve tasted heaven itself
My friend this food is delicious!”
“No ordinary food” panda 2 said
“Its imported direct from Mauritius!”
“You see, children – if the pandas were real people and the cheesecake was drugs – we’d have a moral situation. And what do we say when strangers offer us cheesecake? – that’s right, you say ‘no’, that’s right!”
“F**k this” shouted Billy Gardner, standing up from his desk in the classroom in Bristol – “I don’t need to be patronised by some old gimp – I’m going home”
He left the classroom with his backpack slung over his shoulder and not a care in the world. But he’d never know what to do if a filthy Mauritian drug baron offered him some cheesecake.
Poor lad.
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I'm going to enter the next one, seeing as I haven't the past two.
I have a topic title I want to usssseee!
*waa!*
I have a topic title I want to usssseee!
*waa!*
Shut up you camp monk, my competition, miinnneeee
Pfft, knew I should've let someone else win!
--
On another note, I can't be bothered writing a detailed entry to this one like I did for the last one (with Spice being something that took me quite a while to write). I think the topic is just something that is a bit too open to interpretation for a twist to be feasible, and twists are what I like doing best.
FFF should win.
--
On another note, I can't be bothered writing a detailed entry to this one like I did for the last one (with Spice being something that took me quite a while to write). I think the topic is just something that is a bit too open to interpretation for a twist to be feasible, and twists are what I like doing best.
FFF should win.
Disprove - say it's wrong.
I can't say what you write is wrong, I didn't like it...
I think I'd rather plot based stories, but that's just me, but more importantly, I'm the judge. :D
I can't say what you write is wrong, I didn't like it...
I think I'd rather plot based stories, but that's just me, but more importantly, I'm the judge. :D
You mean it's true?
RUN TO THE HILLS!
;)
RUN TO THE HILLS!
;)
Grix Thraves wrote:
> Can't disprove of this, but still didn't enjoy it.
Disprove or disapprove?
> Can't disprove of this, but still didn't enjoy it.
Disprove or disapprove?
Nah. My opinion.
Can't disprove of this, but still didn't enjoy it.
It didnt really grab me to be honest, a little flat.
Hmm i came on this thread coz it reminded me of those new adverts that involves panda's and it's brilliantly funny. "Argh i'm so sick of bamboo, it makes me windy. I was eating too much bamboo last night and, WOH! now were nearly endangered" and "Guys stick a form in me, i'm done"
That is a brilliantadvert.
That is a brilliantadvert.
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