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<"You've Got To See This!" is the name of something I think might work well on radio, let me know what you think>
Frank: Guys…guys, you’ve got to see this.
Brian: What is it?
Frank: Just come over Brian, you too George.
Brian: This had better not be another worm, Frank, just flick it away with your spade.
Frank: Damn it guys it’s not a worm. Just get here. George, put that book down, you’ve never seen anything like this before…
Brian + George: Jesus Christ Frank!
Frank: I know, I can’t believe it!
George: I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life.
Brian: Where did you find that?
Frank: Well I was just digging, and I saw it shine through.
Brian: But what is it?
George: It’s a new colour, that’s what it is.
Frank: No guys, it’s my new colour. I invented it.
Brian: Balls. You didn’t invent it, you discovered it.
Frank: Same diff.
Brian: No, it’s not. Einstein didn’t invent gravity, did he?
Frank: Eh?
George: No, that was Isaac Newton.
Frank: What’s gravity got to do with it, I’ve invented a brand new colour.
Brian: No, you didn’t invent it. That’s what I’m saying before smarty pants here butted in. Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity, he discovered it.
George: Well, not as such, it’s not like there was no gravity until Newton found it in an apple tree. What you mean, is that he came up with the theory.
Frank: Well this ain’t a theory folks, it’s my brand new colour, and even if I didn’t invent it, I discovered it.
Brian: Okay, that’s what I was trying to get at, like Christopher Columbo discovered America.
George: Yeah, he was in his big coat, sailing along, with his back to it when he turned, said ‘just one more thing’ and went and discovered the country when we thought it was going to get away with it.
Brian: What the hell are you on about?
George: You said Columbo, like the detective…
Frank: I think you’re forgetting something guys, I’ve invented, sorry, no, discovered, a brand new colour.
George: So what are you going to call it?
Frank: What d’you mean?
George: If you discover something, you get to name it.
Frank: So I can call it what I like?
George: You certainly can my good friend.
Brian: So he’s your good friend now is he? I’m sure you described us as nothing more than accomplices when you were taking to those birds.
George: I was trying to impress them, I didn’t mean anything by it.
Frank: I’m going to call it Frank.
Brian: You can’t do that!
Frank: Why not?
Brian: Well, think about it, colours, they all have some deeper meaning, don’t they?
George + Frank: Eh?
Brian: You know, like when you’re sad you’re feeling blue, red is anger, green is jealousy, yellow cowardice.
Frank: So?
Brian: Well what if this colour happens to be the colour of impotence or something?
George: That’s daft, that makes no sense at all. You call it Frank if you want to Frank.
Frank: Nah George, he’s got a point. How do you think that fella that discovered yellow felt when it turned out to be the cowards colour?
George: No one discovered yellow, it’s always been there, part of the spectrum.
Frank: Hmmm, Frank it is then.
Brian: My Glenn had a Spectrum when he was a kid, spent hours on it.
George: Not that kind of spectrum, the range of colours, like in the rainbow.
Frank: This one ain’t in the rainbow.
George: I know, it’s weird. Not like any of the others colours at all.
Frank: Hey, Brian, you’ve got a picture phone, haven’t you?
Brian: Yeah, it’s in the car, why?
George: Oh yeah, go on Brian, go fetch it.
Frank: So we can take a picture of it.
Brian: Ah, back in a second.
George: I can’t believe this, it’s amazing.
Frank: Tell me about it. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.
George: Well it has mate, it’s, just, so unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Frank: I know, I mean, what will everyone say?
George: Jesus Christ, this is going to change the world.
Frank: You reckon?
George: Of course it will. Everyone will want to see this colour, be seen in this colour. We could make a fortune!
Frank: Christ…
Brian: Guys, I’ve got it.
Frank: Go on then, take a picture!
Brain: I can’t line it up right.
Frank: You what?
Brian: Well I can’t see it on the screen, let me get closer.
George: Don’t touch it though, we don’t know what it is!
Frank: Course we do, it’s Frank, it’s my new colour.
George: But you don’t just get piles of colour, do you?
Brian: No good, still can’t see it.
Frank: What you on about George?
George: You don’t see a pile of green by the road, it’s grass, for instance. This stuff, whatever it is, the colour of it, that’s Frank, but what it is, I haven’t got a clue.
Brian: I can’t get this, you know.
Frank: Let’s take a look.
Brian: See, you can’t see it.
George: No guys, of course you can’t, I’ve just realised.
Brian + Frank: What?
George: The phone can’t make that colour, it doesn’t know how as it’s not made from any of the primary colours.
Frank: You what?
George: Brian, you’ve got a Polaroid camera, haven’t you?
Brian: Well, yeah.
George: Could you go get it then?
Brian: Why?
George: I want to try something.
Brian: Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.
Frank: Cool mate. Hurry back.
George: Thanks Brian, you’re a legend.
Frank: So George, what were you saying earlier about primary colours?
George: All colours, well before today, all colours could be made up by mixing the primary colours.
Frank: How’s that?
George: Okay, primary colours are red, yellow and blue. You mix these in various degrees to get other colours. Red and yellow is orange, blue and yellow green, etcetera, etcetera.
Frank: So when I was a kid, how come I always ended up with brown when I mixed my paints?
George: Stuck all the colours you had in together?
Frank: Yeah, most of the time.
George: Well that’s what you get.
Frank: What do you mix to get white then? I can’t see how blue, yellow and red can make white?
George: Ah, now white, that’s different. White is a tone.
Frank: Eh?
George: Black and white are tones, they can be used to darken or lighten.
Frank: Jesus Christ George, no wonder you’re off to University in September.
George: Well, I’m waiting on the results, but….
Frank: Enough about that, back to my colour.
George: Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, it’s not one of the primary colours. It surely can’t be made from the primary colours…
Frank: Why not?
George: Well someone would have seen it already. So anyway, does that mean this is a new primary colour? If so, what’s going to happen when we mix this with red, with yellow and with blue?
Frank: You tell me!
George: Well, we’ll have a whole host of new secondary colours.
Frank: Secondary colours?
George: Yes, I’ve already mentioned them, what you get by mixing any two of the primary colours…
Frank: Don’t tell me, red and yellow make orange, er, blue and yellow make green, and what? I suppose red and blue make purple?
George: That’s it. But what will red and Frank make? Personally, I think that red and Frank should make George.
Frank: Alright mate, I’ll let you have that one. I suppose we could call Frank and blue Brian then, after all, it was us three that were here when we found it.
George: Well what about Frank and yellow?
Frank: Well, I’ll name that after my missus, Sandra.
George: Nice.
Frank: So what do you want to do with that Polaroid camera then?
George: Well I’ll take another picture with that, and I don’t believe that’ll come out either.
Frank: I see.
George: So if people want to see it, they’ll have to come here to us, and pay to see it.
Frank: You’re forgetting one thing. This isn’t our garden. We’re only here as the gardeners.
George: Well we’ll let Mrs Higgins in on it.
Frank: She’s not the sharing kind mate. Once she knows it’s here, she’ll claim it as her own, and we won’t get owt.
George: You’re right Frank. Now how are we going to get this out of here?
Frank: Well I don’t think we can lift it, my spade kind of sunk into it.
George: Push it in again, let me have a look.
Frank: See, it’s not solid.
George: Yes, but not a liquid either. Let me have a go… Oh, it feels quite spongy.
Frank: Do you think we could dig around it, see a bit more of it?
George: We’ll give it a go, I’ll get my spade.
Frank: Alright, don’t hang about though, I’m not doing all the work here!
George: I’ll be right there.
Frank: Oh crap!
George: What have you done?
Frank: We’re losing it, it’s disappearing back through the earth.
George: What did you do!
Frank: Try and get some on your spade... I’ve got some!
George: Me too. Think we can move it?
Frank: You try first, I’m not letting mine go.
George. It’s okay, it’s still on the spade.
Frank: Excellent. Now stick it in that bucket.
George: Got it. Now you bring yours. Nice and steady now.
Frank: Not a problem.
George: What now?
Frank: We wait for Brian.
George: Shouldn’t we wait out the front? Then we can get it straight back to yours.
Frank: Nice thinking. I’ll take the bucket.
George: Brian should be back in a sec.
Frank: Hopefully, can’t wait to show Sandra.
George: Crap, look out!
Frank: Wha…?
George: Aargh!
Brian: Jesus Christ Frank, you okay?
Frank: What happened?
Brian: George here saved you life, that’s what.
Frank: Eh?
Brian: Well, you told me to hurry.
George: I saw him coming right for us, I had to push you out of the way.
Frank: Jesus mate, you saved me. Cheers!
George: we lost Frank though.
Frank: No!
Brian: Sorry guys.
George: It just slopped out of the bucket, and disappeared through the flowers.
Brian: And there’s no more out the back?
George: No, all gone.
Frank: Never mind. Frank was a daft name for a colour anyway. Back to work guys, we’ve got a fence to fix now too….
Frank: Guys…guys, you’ve got to see this.
Brian: What is it?
Frank: Just come over Brian, you too George.
Brian: This had better not be another worm, Frank, just flick it away with your spade.
Frank: Damn it guys it’s not a worm. Just get here. George, put that book down, you’ve never seen anything like this before…
Brian + George: Jesus Christ Frank!
Frank: I know, I can’t believe it!
George: I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life.
Brian: Where did you find that?
Frank: Well I was just digging, and I saw it shine through.
Brian: But what is it?
George: It’s a new colour, that’s what it is.
Frank: No guys, it’s my new colour. I invented it.
Brian: Balls. You didn’t invent it, you discovered it.
Frank: Same diff.
Brian: No, it’s not. Einstein didn’t invent gravity, did he?
Frank: Eh?
George: No, that was Isaac Newton.
Frank: What’s gravity got to do with it, I’ve invented a brand new colour.
Brian: No, you didn’t invent it. That’s what I’m saying before smarty pants here butted in. Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity, he discovered it.
George: Well, not as such, it’s not like there was no gravity until Newton found it in an apple tree. What you mean, is that he came up with the theory.
Frank: Well this ain’t a theory folks, it’s my brand new colour, and even if I didn’t invent it, I discovered it.
Brian: Okay, that’s what I was trying to get at, like Christopher Columbo discovered America.
George: Yeah, he was in his big coat, sailing along, with his back to it when he turned, said ‘just one more thing’ and went and discovered the country when we thought it was going to get away with it.
Brian: What the hell are you on about?
George: You said Columbo, like the detective…
Frank: I think you’re forgetting something guys, I’ve invented, sorry, no, discovered, a brand new colour.
George: So what are you going to call it?
Frank: What d’you mean?
George: If you discover something, you get to name it.
Frank: So I can call it what I like?
George: You certainly can my good friend.
Brian: So he’s your good friend now is he? I’m sure you described us as nothing more than accomplices when you were taking to those birds.
George: I was trying to impress them, I didn’t mean anything by it.
Frank: I’m going to call it Frank.
Brian: You can’t do that!
Frank: Why not?
Brian: Well, think about it, colours, they all have some deeper meaning, don’t they?
George + Frank: Eh?
Brian: You know, like when you’re sad you’re feeling blue, red is anger, green is jealousy, yellow cowardice.
Frank: So?
Brian: Well what if this colour happens to be the colour of impotence or something?
George: That’s daft, that makes no sense at all. You call it Frank if you want to Frank.
Frank: Nah George, he’s got a point. How do you think that fella that discovered yellow felt when it turned out to be the cowards colour?
George: No one discovered yellow, it’s always been there, part of the spectrum.
Frank: Hmmm, Frank it is then.
Brian: My Glenn had a Spectrum when he was a kid, spent hours on it.
George: Not that kind of spectrum, the range of colours, like in the rainbow.
Frank: This one ain’t in the rainbow.
George: I know, it’s weird. Not like any of the others colours at all.
Frank: Hey, Brian, you’ve got a picture phone, haven’t you?
Brian: Yeah, it’s in the car, why?
George: Oh yeah, go on Brian, go fetch it.
Frank: So we can take a picture of it.
Brian: Ah, back in a second.
George: I can’t believe this, it’s amazing.
Frank: Tell me about it. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.
George: Well it has mate, it’s, just, so unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Frank: I know, I mean, what will everyone say?
George: Jesus Christ, this is going to change the world.
Frank: You reckon?
George: Of course it will. Everyone will want to see this colour, be seen in this colour. We could make a fortune!
Frank: Christ…
Brian: Guys, I’ve got it.
Frank: Go on then, take a picture!
Brain: I can’t line it up right.
Frank: You what?
Brian: Well I can’t see it on the screen, let me get closer.
George: Don’t touch it though, we don’t know what it is!
Frank: Course we do, it’s Frank, it’s my new colour.
George: But you don’t just get piles of colour, do you?
Brian: No good, still can’t see it.
Frank: What you on about George?
George: You don’t see a pile of green by the road, it’s grass, for instance. This stuff, whatever it is, the colour of it, that’s Frank, but what it is, I haven’t got a clue.
Brian: I can’t get this, you know.
Frank: Let’s take a look.
Brian: See, you can’t see it.
George: No guys, of course you can’t, I’ve just realised.
Brian + Frank: What?
George: The phone can’t make that colour, it doesn’t know how as it’s not made from any of the primary colours.
Frank: You what?
George: Brian, you’ve got a Polaroid camera, haven’t you?
Brian: Well, yeah.
George: Could you go get it then?
Brian: Why?
George: I want to try something.
Brian: Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.
Frank: Cool mate. Hurry back.
George: Thanks Brian, you’re a legend.
Frank: So George, what were you saying earlier about primary colours?
George: All colours, well before today, all colours could be made up by mixing the primary colours.
Frank: How’s that?
George: Okay, primary colours are red, yellow and blue. You mix these in various degrees to get other colours. Red and yellow is orange, blue and yellow green, etcetera, etcetera.
Frank: So when I was a kid, how come I always ended up with brown when I mixed my paints?
George: Stuck all the colours you had in together?
Frank: Yeah, most of the time.
George: Well that’s what you get.
Frank: What do you mix to get white then? I can’t see how blue, yellow and red can make white?
George: Ah, now white, that’s different. White is a tone.
Frank: Eh?
George: Black and white are tones, they can be used to darken or lighten.
Frank: Jesus Christ George, no wonder you’re off to University in September.
George: Well, I’m waiting on the results, but….
Frank: Enough about that, back to my colour.
George: Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, it’s not one of the primary colours. It surely can’t be made from the primary colours…
Frank: Why not?
George: Well someone would have seen it already. So anyway, does that mean this is a new primary colour? If so, what’s going to happen when we mix this with red, with yellow and with blue?
Frank: You tell me!
George: Well, we’ll have a whole host of new secondary colours.
Frank: Secondary colours?
George: Yes, I’ve already mentioned them, what you get by mixing any two of the primary colours…
Frank: Don’t tell me, red and yellow make orange, er, blue and yellow make green, and what? I suppose red and blue make purple?
George: That’s it. But what will red and Frank make? Personally, I think that red and Frank should make George.
Frank: Alright mate, I’ll let you have that one. I suppose we could call Frank and blue Brian then, after all, it was us three that were here when we found it.
George: Well what about Frank and yellow?
Frank: Well, I’ll name that after my missus, Sandra.
George: Nice.
Frank: So what do you want to do with that Polaroid camera then?
George: Well I’ll take another picture with that, and I don’t believe that’ll come out either.
Frank: I see.
George: So if people want to see it, they’ll have to come here to us, and pay to see it.
Frank: You’re forgetting one thing. This isn’t our garden. We’re only here as the gardeners.
George: Well we’ll let Mrs Higgins in on it.
Frank: She’s not the sharing kind mate. Once she knows it’s here, she’ll claim it as her own, and we won’t get owt.
George: You’re right Frank. Now how are we going to get this out of here?
Frank: Well I don’t think we can lift it, my spade kind of sunk into it.
George: Push it in again, let me have a look.
Frank: See, it’s not solid.
George: Yes, but not a liquid either. Let me have a go… Oh, it feels quite spongy.
Frank: Do you think we could dig around it, see a bit more of it?
George: We’ll give it a go, I’ll get my spade.
Frank: Alright, don’t hang about though, I’m not doing all the work here!
George: I’ll be right there.
Frank: Oh crap!
George: What have you done?
Frank: We’re losing it, it’s disappearing back through the earth.
George: What did you do!
Frank: Try and get some on your spade... I’ve got some!
George: Me too. Think we can move it?
Frank: You try first, I’m not letting mine go.
George. It’s okay, it’s still on the spade.
Frank: Excellent. Now stick it in that bucket.
George: Got it. Now you bring yours. Nice and steady now.
Frank: Not a problem.
George: What now?
Frank: We wait for Brian.
George: Shouldn’t we wait out the front? Then we can get it straight back to yours.
Frank: Nice thinking. I’ll take the bucket.
George: Brian should be back in a sec.
Frank: Hopefully, can’t wait to show Sandra.
George: Crap, look out!
Frank: Wha…?
George: Aargh!
Brian: Jesus Christ Frank, you okay?
Frank: What happened?
Brian: George here saved you life, that’s what.
Frank: Eh?
Brian: Well, you told me to hurry.
George: I saw him coming right for us, I had to push you out of the way.
Frank: Jesus mate, you saved me. Cheers!
George: we lost Frank though.
Frank: No!
Brian: Sorry guys.
George: It just slopped out of the bucket, and disappeared through the flowers.
Brian: And there’s no more out the back?
George: No, all gone.
Frank: Never mind. Frank was a daft name for a colour anyway. Back to work guys, we’ve got a fence to fix now too….
Page:
I liked that.
I imagined it as if I were listening to it through the radio and yeah, I think it would work really well.
Top stuff.
I imagined it as if I were listening to it through the radio and yeah, I think it would work really well.
Top stuff.
<"You've Got To See This!" is the name of something I think might work well on radio, let me know what you think>
Frank: Guys…guys, you’ve got to see this.
Brian: What is it?
Frank: Just come over Brian, you too George.
Brian: This had better not be another worm, Frank, just flick it away with your spade.
Frank: Damn it guys it’s not a worm. Just get here. George, put that book down, you’ve never seen anything like this before…
Brian + George: Jesus Christ Frank!
Frank: I know, I can’t believe it!
George: I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life.
Brian: Where did you find that?
Frank: Well I was just digging, and I saw it shine through.
Brian: But what is it?
George: It’s a new colour, that’s what it is.
Frank: No guys, it’s my new colour. I invented it.
Brian: Balls. You didn’t invent it, you discovered it.
Frank: Same diff.
Brian: No, it’s not. Einstein didn’t invent gravity, did he?
Frank: Eh?
George: No, that was Isaac Newton.
Frank: What’s gravity got to do with it, I’ve invented a brand new colour.
Brian: No, you didn’t invent it. That’s what I’m saying before smarty pants here butted in. Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity, he discovered it.
George: Well, not as such, it’s not like there was no gravity until Newton found it in an apple tree. What you mean, is that he came up with the theory.
Frank: Well this ain’t a theory folks, it’s my brand new colour, and even if I didn’t invent it, I discovered it.
Brian: Okay, that’s what I was trying to get at, like Christopher Columbo discovered America.
George: Yeah, he was in his big coat, sailing along, with his back to it when he turned, said ‘just one more thing’ and went and discovered the country when we thought it was going to get away with it.
Brian: What the hell are you on about?
George: You said Columbo, like the detective…
Frank: I think you’re forgetting something guys, I’ve invented, sorry, no, discovered, a brand new colour.
George: So what are you going to call it?
Frank: What d’you mean?
George: If you discover something, you get to name it.
Frank: So I can call it what I like?
George: You certainly can my good friend.
Brian: So he’s your good friend now is he? I’m sure you described us as nothing more than accomplices when you were taking to those birds.
George: I was trying to impress them, I didn’t mean anything by it.
Frank: I’m going to call it Frank.
Brian: You can’t do that!
Frank: Why not?
Brian: Well, think about it, colours, they all have some deeper meaning, don’t they?
George + Frank: Eh?
Brian: You know, like when you’re sad you’re feeling blue, red is anger, green is jealousy, yellow cowardice.
Frank: So?
Brian: Well what if this colour happens to be the colour of impotence or something?
George: That’s daft, that makes no sense at all. You call it Frank if you want to Frank.
Frank: Nah George, he’s got a point. How do you think that fella that discovered yellow felt when it turned out to be the cowards colour?
George: No one discovered yellow, it’s always been there, part of the spectrum.
Frank: Hmmm, Frank it is then.
Brian: My Glenn had a Spectrum when he was a kid, spent hours on it.
George: Not that kind of spectrum, the range of colours, like in the rainbow.
Frank: This one ain’t in the rainbow.
George: I know, it’s weird. Not like any of the others colours at all.
Frank: Hey, Brian, you’ve got a picture phone, haven’t you?
Brian: Yeah, it’s in the car, why?
George: Oh yeah, go on Brian, go fetch it.
Frank: So we can take a picture of it.
Brian: Ah, back in a second.
George: I can’t believe this, it’s amazing.
Frank: Tell me about it. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.
George: Well it has mate, it’s, just, so unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Frank: I know, I mean, what will everyone say?
George: Jesus Christ, this is going to change the world.
Frank: You reckon?
George: Of course it will. Everyone will want to see this colour, be seen in this colour. We could make a fortune!
Frank: Christ…
Brian: Guys, I’ve got it.
Frank: Go on then, take a picture!
Brain: I can’t line it up right.
Frank: You what?
Brian: Well I can’t see it on the screen, let me get closer.
George: Don’t touch it though, we don’t know what it is!
Frank: Course we do, it’s Frank, it’s my new colour.
George: But you don’t just get piles of colour, do you?
Brian: No good, still can’t see it.
Frank: What you on about George?
George: You don’t see a pile of green by the road, it’s grass, for instance. This stuff, whatever it is, the colour of it, that’s Frank, but what it is, I haven’t got a clue.
Brian: I can’t get this, you know.
Frank: Let’s take a look.
Brian: See, you can’t see it.
George: No guys, of course you can’t, I’ve just realised.
Brian + Frank: What?
George: The phone can’t make that colour, it doesn’t know how as it’s not made from any of the primary colours.
Frank: You what?
George: Brian, you’ve got a Polaroid camera, haven’t you?
Brian: Well, yeah.
George: Could you go get it then?
Brian: Why?
George: I want to try something.
Brian: Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.
Frank: Cool mate. Hurry back.
George: Thanks Brian, you’re a legend.
Frank: So George, what were you saying earlier about primary colours?
George: All colours, well before today, all colours could be made up by mixing the primary colours.
Frank: How’s that?
George: Okay, primary colours are red, yellow and blue. You mix these in various degrees to get other colours. Red and yellow is orange, blue and yellow green, etcetera, etcetera.
Frank: So when I was a kid, how come I always ended up with brown when I mixed my paints?
George: Stuck all the colours you had in together?
Frank: Yeah, most of the time.
George: Well that’s what you get.
Frank: What do you mix to get white then? I can’t see how blue, yellow and red can make white?
George: Ah, now white, that’s different. White is a tone.
Frank: Eh?
George: Black and white are tones, they can be used to darken or lighten.
Frank: Jesus Christ George, no wonder you’re off to University in September.
George: Well, I’m waiting on the results, but….
Frank: Enough about that, back to my colour.
George: Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, it’s not one of the primary colours. It surely can’t be made from the primary colours…
Frank: Why not?
George: Well someone would have seen it already. So anyway, does that mean this is a new primary colour? If so, what’s going to happen when we mix this with red, with yellow and with blue?
Frank: You tell me!
George: Well, we’ll have a whole host of new secondary colours.
Frank: Secondary colours?
George: Yes, I’ve already mentioned them, what you get by mixing any two of the primary colours…
Frank: Don’t tell me, red and yellow make orange, er, blue and yellow make green, and what? I suppose red and blue make purple?
George: That’s it. But what will red and Frank make? Personally, I think that red and Frank should make George.
Frank: Alright mate, I’ll let you have that one. I suppose we could call Frank and blue Brian then, after all, it was us three that were here when we found it.
George: Well what about Frank and yellow?
Frank: Well, I’ll name that after my missus, Sandra.
George: Nice.
Frank: So what do you want to do with that Polaroid camera then?
George: Well I’ll take another picture with that, and I don’t believe that’ll come out either.
Frank: I see.
George: So if people want to see it, they’ll have to come here to us, and pay to see it.
Frank: You’re forgetting one thing. This isn’t our garden. We’re only here as the gardeners.
George: Well we’ll let Mrs Higgins in on it.
Frank: She’s not the sharing kind mate. Once she knows it’s here, she’ll claim it as her own, and we won’t get owt.
George: You’re right Frank. Now how are we going to get this out of here?
Frank: Well I don’t think we can lift it, my spade kind of sunk into it.
George: Push it in again, let me have a look.
Frank: See, it’s not solid.
George: Yes, but not a liquid either. Let me have a go… Oh, it feels quite spongy.
Frank: Do you think we could dig around it, see a bit more of it?
George: We’ll give it a go, I’ll get my spade.
Frank: Alright, don’t hang about though, I’m not doing all the work here!
George: I’ll be right there.
Frank: Oh crap!
George: What have you done?
Frank: We’re losing it, it’s disappearing back through the earth.
George: What did you do!
Frank: Try and get some on your spade... I’ve got some!
George: Me too. Think we can move it?
Frank: You try first, I’m not letting mine go.
George. It’s okay, it’s still on the spade.
Frank: Excellent. Now stick it in that bucket.
George: Got it. Now you bring yours. Nice and steady now.
Frank: Not a problem.
George: What now?
Frank: We wait for Brian.
George: Shouldn’t we wait out the front? Then we can get it straight back to yours.
Frank: Nice thinking. I’ll take the bucket.
George: Brian should be back in a sec.
Frank: Hopefully, can’t wait to show Sandra.
George: Crap, look out!
Frank: Wha…?
George: Aargh!
Brian: Jesus Christ Frank, you okay?
Frank: What happened?
Brian: George here saved you life, that’s what.
Frank: Eh?
Brian: Well, you told me to hurry.
George: I saw him coming right for us, I had to push you out of the way.
Frank: Jesus mate, you saved me. Cheers!
George: we lost Frank though.
Frank: No!
Brian: Sorry guys.
George: It just slopped out of the bucket, and disappeared through the flowers.
Brian: And there’s no more out the back?
George: No, all gone.
Frank: Never mind. Frank was a daft name for a colour anyway. Back to work guys, we’ve got a fence to fix now too….
Frank: Guys…guys, you’ve got to see this.
Brian: What is it?
Frank: Just come over Brian, you too George.
Brian: This had better not be another worm, Frank, just flick it away with your spade.
Frank: Damn it guys it’s not a worm. Just get here. George, put that book down, you’ve never seen anything like this before…
Brian + George: Jesus Christ Frank!
Frank: I know, I can’t believe it!
George: I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life.
Brian: Where did you find that?
Frank: Well I was just digging, and I saw it shine through.
Brian: But what is it?
George: It’s a new colour, that’s what it is.
Frank: No guys, it’s my new colour. I invented it.
Brian: Balls. You didn’t invent it, you discovered it.
Frank: Same diff.
Brian: No, it’s not. Einstein didn’t invent gravity, did he?
Frank: Eh?
George: No, that was Isaac Newton.
Frank: What’s gravity got to do with it, I’ve invented a brand new colour.
Brian: No, you didn’t invent it. That’s what I’m saying before smarty pants here butted in. Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity, he discovered it.
George: Well, not as such, it’s not like there was no gravity until Newton found it in an apple tree. What you mean, is that he came up with the theory.
Frank: Well this ain’t a theory folks, it’s my brand new colour, and even if I didn’t invent it, I discovered it.
Brian: Okay, that’s what I was trying to get at, like Christopher Columbo discovered America.
George: Yeah, he was in his big coat, sailing along, with his back to it when he turned, said ‘just one more thing’ and went and discovered the country when we thought it was going to get away with it.
Brian: What the hell are you on about?
George: You said Columbo, like the detective…
Frank: I think you’re forgetting something guys, I’ve invented, sorry, no, discovered, a brand new colour.
George: So what are you going to call it?
Frank: What d’you mean?
George: If you discover something, you get to name it.
Frank: So I can call it what I like?
George: You certainly can my good friend.
Brian: So he’s your good friend now is he? I’m sure you described us as nothing more than accomplices when you were taking to those birds.
George: I was trying to impress them, I didn’t mean anything by it.
Frank: I’m going to call it Frank.
Brian: You can’t do that!
Frank: Why not?
Brian: Well, think about it, colours, they all have some deeper meaning, don’t they?
George + Frank: Eh?
Brian: You know, like when you’re sad you’re feeling blue, red is anger, green is jealousy, yellow cowardice.
Frank: So?
Brian: Well what if this colour happens to be the colour of impotence or something?
George: That’s daft, that makes no sense at all. You call it Frank if you want to Frank.
Frank: Nah George, he’s got a point. How do you think that fella that discovered yellow felt when it turned out to be the cowards colour?
George: No one discovered yellow, it’s always been there, part of the spectrum.
Frank: Hmmm, Frank it is then.
Brian: My Glenn had a Spectrum when he was a kid, spent hours on it.
George: Not that kind of spectrum, the range of colours, like in the rainbow.
Frank: This one ain’t in the rainbow.
George: I know, it’s weird. Not like any of the others colours at all.
Frank: Hey, Brian, you’ve got a picture phone, haven’t you?
Brian: Yeah, it’s in the car, why?
George: Oh yeah, go on Brian, go fetch it.
Frank: So we can take a picture of it.
Brian: Ah, back in a second.
George: I can’t believe this, it’s amazing.
Frank: Tell me about it. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.
George: Well it has mate, it’s, just, so unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Frank: I know, I mean, what will everyone say?
George: Jesus Christ, this is going to change the world.
Frank: You reckon?
George: Of course it will. Everyone will want to see this colour, be seen in this colour. We could make a fortune!
Frank: Christ…
Brian: Guys, I’ve got it.
Frank: Go on then, take a picture!
Brain: I can’t line it up right.
Frank: You what?
Brian: Well I can’t see it on the screen, let me get closer.
George: Don’t touch it though, we don’t know what it is!
Frank: Course we do, it’s Frank, it’s my new colour.
George: But you don’t just get piles of colour, do you?
Brian: No good, still can’t see it.
Frank: What you on about George?
George: You don’t see a pile of green by the road, it’s grass, for instance. This stuff, whatever it is, the colour of it, that’s Frank, but what it is, I haven’t got a clue.
Brian: I can’t get this, you know.
Frank: Let’s take a look.
Brian: See, you can’t see it.
George: No guys, of course you can’t, I’ve just realised.
Brian + Frank: What?
George: The phone can’t make that colour, it doesn’t know how as it’s not made from any of the primary colours.
Frank: You what?
George: Brian, you’ve got a Polaroid camera, haven’t you?
Brian: Well, yeah.
George: Could you go get it then?
Brian: Why?
George: I want to try something.
Brian: Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes.
Frank: Cool mate. Hurry back.
George: Thanks Brian, you’re a legend.
Frank: So George, what were you saying earlier about primary colours?
George: All colours, well before today, all colours could be made up by mixing the primary colours.
Frank: How’s that?
George: Okay, primary colours are red, yellow and blue. You mix these in various degrees to get other colours. Red and yellow is orange, blue and yellow green, etcetera, etcetera.
Frank: So when I was a kid, how come I always ended up with brown when I mixed my paints?
George: Stuck all the colours you had in together?
Frank: Yeah, most of the time.
George: Well that’s what you get.
Frank: What do you mix to get white then? I can’t see how blue, yellow and red can make white?
George: Ah, now white, that’s different. White is a tone.
Frank: Eh?
George: Black and white are tones, they can be used to darken or lighten.
Frank: Jesus Christ George, no wonder you’re off to University in September.
George: Well, I’m waiting on the results, but….
Frank: Enough about that, back to my colour.
George: Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, it’s not one of the primary colours. It surely can’t be made from the primary colours…
Frank: Why not?
George: Well someone would have seen it already. So anyway, does that mean this is a new primary colour? If so, what’s going to happen when we mix this with red, with yellow and with blue?
Frank: You tell me!
George: Well, we’ll have a whole host of new secondary colours.
Frank: Secondary colours?
George: Yes, I’ve already mentioned them, what you get by mixing any two of the primary colours…
Frank: Don’t tell me, red and yellow make orange, er, blue and yellow make green, and what? I suppose red and blue make purple?
George: That’s it. But what will red and Frank make? Personally, I think that red and Frank should make George.
Frank: Alright mate, I’ll let you have that one. I suppose we could call Frank and blue Brian then, after all, it was us three that were here when we found it.
George: Well what about Frank and yellow?
Frank: Well, I’ll name that after my missus, Sandra.
George: Nice.
Frank: So what do you want to do with that Polaroid camera then?
George: Well I’ll take another picture with that, and I don’t believe that’ll come out either.
Frank: I see.
George: So if people want to see it, they’ll have to come here to us, and pay to see it.
Frank: You’re forgetting one thing. This isn’t our garden. We’re only here as the gardeners.
George: Well we’ll let Mrs Higgins in on it.
Frank: She’s not the sharing kind mate. Once she knows it’s here, she’ll claim it as her own, and we won’t get owt.
George: You’re right Frank. Now how are we going to get this out of here?
Frank: Well I don’t think we can lift it, my spade kind of sunk into it.
George: Push it in again, let me have a look.
Frank: See, it’s not solid.
George: Yes, but not a liquid either. Let me have a go… Oh, it feels quite spongy.
Frank: Do you think we could dig around it, see a bit more of it?
George: We’ll give it a go, I’ll get my spade.
Frank: Alright, don’t hang about though, I’m not doing all the work here!
George: I’ll be right there.
Frank: Oh crap!
George: What have you done?
Frank: We’re losing it, it’s disappearing back through the earth.
George: What did you do!
Frank: Try and get some on your spade... I’ve got some!
George: Me too. Think we can move it?
Frank: You try first, I’m not letting mine go.
George. It’s okay, it’s still on the spade.
Frank: Excellent. Now stick it in that bucket.
George: Got it. Now you bring yours. Nice and steady now.
Frank: Not a problem.
George: What now?
Frank: We wait for Brian.
George: Shouldn’t we wait out the front? Then we can get it straight back to yours.
Frank: Nice thinking. I’ll take the bucket.
George: Brian should be back in a sec.
Frank: Hopefully, can’t wait to show Sandra.
George: Crap, look out!
Frank: Wha…?
George: Aargh!
Brian: Jesus Christ Frank, you okay?
Frank: What happened?
Brian: George here saved you life, that’s what.
Frank: Eh?
Brian: Well, you told me to hurry.
George: I saw him coming right for us, I had to push you out of the way.
Frank: Jesus mate, you saved me. Cheers!
George: we lost Frank though.
Frank: No!
Brian: Sorry guys.
George: It just slopped out of the bucket, and disappeared through the flowers.
Brian: And there’s no more out the back?
George: No, all gone.
Frank: Never mind. Frank was a daft name for a colour anyway. Back to work guys, we’ve got a fence to fix now too….
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