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"SSC3 - Zora's Wish"

Don’t remind me of The Well, that becursed haunt of scheming devilry. I should never have gone there. Ug. What was I thinking? I should never have listened to that yabber-mouthed scallywag, Milo Musselwhite – he was the one who persuaded me to go.

“G-g-g-give it-it a try!” he said.
“You m-m-m-might be s-s-s-surprised!” he said.
“M-m-m-miracles can hap-p-p-pen!” he said.

Milo has a stutter, which can arouse feelings of sympathy, but make no mistake: he’s a meddling rapscallion. So why-oh-why did I listen to him? Why was I taken in by his hushed cha-cha-chatter and the idiotic prospect of mystical wish-bunkum? A fool is always fooled, I guess. Mad as a hatter I must be. Ug.

You must tiptoe through the tulips slinking like a ginger tom, he said, with whiskers twitching and tail erect.

I did.

You must have clasped between the thumb and forefinger of your right hand a stolen silver coin, he said, preferably lifted from the bulging purse of a well-to-do housewife.

I did.

You must approach The Well bathed in the serene luster of a full(ish) moon, he said.

I did.

You must circle The Well in an anti-clockwise direction, he said, until the tu-whit tu-whoo, tu-whit tu-whoo of an owl is heard.

I did.

On hearing the nightspeech of the owl you must flick the silver coin into The Well whispering the magic word: Toidi.

I did.

Then you must swiftly c*ck your left ear to The Well’s opening and await the coin’s inevitable plop in the water below.

I did.

Lastly, and most importantly, he said, (twirling my ponytail with a shaven twig), you must proclaim in the booming voice of a town crier your deepest and most heartfelt wish.

So I did.

I WISH VICAR McLINTOCK WOULD FALL HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE WITH ME!!

Milo and his twenty-strong gang of shadow-hiding eavesdroppers fell about in the surrounding rhododendrons splitting-their-sides like bursting balloons.

Mug.

So what did I do? What did I do?

Did I run away, skedaddle, tail between legs, red-faced and shrieking like a craven ninny-whippet? – Nay!
Did I karate chopper and roundhouse kicker them one-by-treacherous-one mid a swirl of kung-fu ballyhoo? – Sadly, nay.
Did I freeze on the spot like a floppy-eared bunny dumbstruck in the headlights of a thundering juggernaut? – Nay, thrice nay.

This is what I did: I jumped down The Well like the perky pixie acrobat that I am. Of course I did.

down,
down,
down,
head-over-heels,
tush-over-nipples,
down,
down,
undesirable brick-scuffing cartwheel,
snig-snag,
grind,
-j-a-g-g-e-r-
snig-snagged panties,
-j-u-d-d-e-r-
STOP!
feet – east,
head – west:
supine,
gasp.

…So there I was, quivering like a quaver, precariously wedged halfway down a well: stuck in a grotty hole miles away from home: jammed in the narrow funnel of a wishing-well wishing I could get out!

Ug, ug, ugly night: ugly cold shivering clinging-on night… Is this it? I murmured, as pathetic as a dying fly. Is-this-it? A black mist swamped my eyes and filled my mouth. Ugugg. Until (starflash: on/off) – until (starflash: on/off, on/off!) - un-tilllll: dawn, and the c*ckerel cry of my saviour:

“Zora, I’ve got rope! I’m here to rescue you!”

I climbed the dangling twine like a scrambling scamp. Up, up, up - bruised, scratched, smudged in slime – and in the drizzle of daybreak my bedraggled frame emerged from the well and slumped into the arms of my knight in shining armour, my redeemer in black robes: Vicar McLintock, handsome prince of virtue, saver of my soul!

Haw.

Milo the scoundrel was right: church bells, confetti, and a sunny honeymoon later, “M-m-m-miracles can h-h-h-happen.” So take that, bullyboy! You have unwittingly given this good Christian girl everything she could ever want, and more.

Yes I’ve lied, but only little white lies. Forgive me. The Well isn’t just a haunt of scheming rascals, it’s also a special place, a very special place indeed, it’s the place where my greatest wish in all the world came utterly true in a way I’ll never forget. Hoo-ha, happy ending!

-Signed, Zora.

The dialogue reminded my of Gollum of Lord of the Rings for some unusual reason. I very much liked this story; although the monologue style is something that appeals greatly to me anyway. It was unique, well written and most of all very entertaining without being too predictable.

Ha, yes. Such a different story from the others. Great.

Though I do wonder about your need for such sniggle-snaggle wording.

* sighs enviously *

Wonderfully written piece, as usual. A pretty tale which has boosted my feelgood factor for the day :)

Black Glove wrote:
> Strafio wrote:
> One thing which sort of put me off was the fact that there's
> a Zora's Well in Zelda: Orcarina of Time and nearby is
> a villiage with a naughty kid called
> Milbo (Milo/Milbo, practically the same! ;-D).
>
> Yes I remember: Zora is a fish or frog king isn't he, in an ice cave?
> I don't recall Milbo but it must be just one of those 'subconscious
> things' :)


And, and, there was a well in that village! ;-o

Anyhow I don't think names mean much, and it hardly detracts from the great story that it is. Its not like there ahs been another story similar to it. Just names.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> I seriously wish I could write like this.

I've often had that same thought whilst reading some of your stuff, but hey, thanks.

Strafio wrote:
> One thing which sort of put me off was the fact that there's
> a Zora's Well in Zelda: Orcarina of Time and nearby is
> a villiage with a naughty kid called >
Milbo (Milo/Milbo, practically the same! ;-D).

Yes I remember: Zora is a fish or frog king isn't he, in an ice cave? I don't recall Milbo but it must be just one of those 'subconscious things' :)

One thing which sort of put me off was the fact that there's a Zora's Well in Zelda: Orcarina of Time and nearby is a villiage with a naughty kid called Milbo (Milo/Milbo, practically the same! ;-D).

Sort of painted me the wrong picture. :-D


It made perfect sense by the last paragraph though. :-)

Most brilliant indeed.
That's all I can say to be honest.

hmm, any challengers then? Not me, i've got exams to contend with. If we had to put our money on whos to win the ssc3, it could be this guy. Well done.

Tops everything from the last two competitions! :-O


Brilliantly written.
Exquisite wording but still easily readable. :-)

It will take somehting special to top that.