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Remember though, the government are watching us.
> "Are you drunk, sir?" question. I replied in the
> affirmative, "Of course I'm drunk. Do you think I ride like this
> normally?"
Heheheheh. Awesome. I shall remember that :-D
> As opposed to legally crashing it?
She means she stole it and then crashed it. Illeagal because it wasn't her car.
Me baaaad.
" Of course I am "
Genius
I was about 17 and learning about the perils of alcohol. One day, we bunked off college and cycled down to the snooker club to have a few frames while our foolish counterparts sat and sweated through the most boring double computing session anyone has ever encountered.
Anyway, we started on a few jars (as you do) and our position rapidly degenerated from there...we headed to a pub and had a few shorts and some disgusting alcopops. By this time, it was fairly late and I decided to get back home.
I unlocked my bicycle and proceeded to swerve all over the shop while heroically navigating my way home. I thought I was riding well and that I was untouchable. Alas, nothing could have been further from the awful truth! After one swerve too many, I wildly skidded into the middle of the road and hit the side panel of a car that was driving along side me. Luckily I fell to the left, with (seemingly) no paid whatsoever. I was cursing at the top of my voice, though, and then I turned to the car, to give the inept driver a piece of my inebriated mind. My vengeance turned to fear in one sickening, agonising moment when I realised I'd smashed into a police car. Needless to say, there weren't too amused. They checked me for drugs and asked me the stupid, "Are you drunk, sir?" question. I replied in the affirmative, "Of course I'm drunk. Do you think I ride like this normally?"
(I heard a loud sound in my head - the one when a contestant guessing the wrong answer on Family Fortunes, you know the sound) and I knew I was in trouble. I was manhandled into the back of the car and chucked into a cell for the night and charged for being drunk in charge of a bicycle. I was pretty shocked at the whole incident - at that time, I didn't even realised you could be done for being drunk while riding a bicycle. I thought they were making it up and I remember telling them they were having a laugh. Oh no, how wrong I was!
Somehow, I escaped being charged the next morning - they let me off with a caution as there was no damage to the car. My parents weren't too impressed though...and my bicycle would never ride properly again...
When I was 15(ish) my mates went through a thing where they thought it was cool to nick stuff.
They would go around the usual places like CO-OP, Boots etc and nick..well crap to be honest.
I'd just stand there being the boring one saying "You'll get caught" and feeling well guilty even though I didn't take a thing.
I'll go do some soul searching, then get back to you.