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"EXTRA EXTRA GAMEADAY (September Poetry) sponsored by Fate herself"

Here's a great suggestion which came up in digestion. If you can turn a tidy rhyme then you can make a prime dime.

Subject: Internet, Special Reserve, Freeola, Games, Consoles and/or people or animals of the forums (including staff)*.

Your subject must be any or all of the above otherwise your poem will not count.

Best poem by midday on September 5th wins a £25 EXTRA GAD prize. That's any game of your choice up to £25. (Poems are worth much to us)

Only one winner. The Judge will be Fate (my wife).

Oh yes - leave out the complete rubbish PLEASE. And if it is supposed to be the words to a tune then please tell us which tune as we don't carry a juke box of ditties in our little heads.

*er - I don't mean the staff are animals.

There once was a PlayStation 2
Which I'm told was meant to be new
But because it was crap
I'll give you a slap
And I hope you'll join in with me too.

Errrm... right.

Okay, this is total bollards...and, please, don't take offence to it.

TUNE: Bodies by Drowning Pool!

Can’t get your asss through the door
Can’t get your asss through the door
Can’t get your asss through the door
Can’t get your asss through the door
You are so fat You eat like a rat
One – Something wrong with you
Two - Something wrong with you
Three - Something wrong with you
Four - Something wrong with you
One – Maybe the floor will give
Two - Maybe the floor will give
Three - Maybe the floor will give
Now (Massive crash)
Can’t get your asss through the door
Push him again
He has a big rear end
Roll for roll he’s too big
He is mistaken for a pig
Can’t get in, you’ll have to stay here
Driven by food, and now I fear
Can’t get your asss through the door

Okay, there's nothing wrong with oversized people...so, please...don't hate me for this.

SR is lead by a man called Tony,
And run by Snuggly his Croney,
Through blood,sweat and tears,
They've kept it running for years,
Glogging things from Nintendo and sony.


A bit less satirical than my last one, but more praising of the company so must gain extra points from our wonderful judge.

I mis-read the rules, so lets say mine was about...Posh Kid!

I suspect i have given over deserving praise to snuggly, as Bob is probably the next highest person in the company (who posts on here.as webmaster,isn't he), but as snuggly is the face of GAD you gotta like him!

This one's from the ITV show Lads Army...

The song/rhyme about Corperal Nauyokis is the tune...I've only done the main part.

Oh J Savo…
You are a gimp,
You called Schro a ho…
So she went and got her pimp.

:-D (No, I DIDN’T just call Schro a ho!)

Ive been racking my brains for a bit now, and im not getting anywhere. Do we have to make them up?

Well, here is my main effort. It took surprisingly long, because getting words to rhyme is one hell of a task. So here it is, my rhyme/poem (since this is both a poetry and rhyme competition).

'Jam'

We love to eat jam, it's a fact of life
Spread on some toast with that jam-spreading knife
We have it for breakfast, lunch or tea
Everyone loves jam - you and me.

So since it's unanimous that jam is the best
We'll do something special no one will detest
We'll make our own jam, our special preserve
For all of the people on Special Reserve.

Dav1d wants ladies, naked ones too
But not too many, just a few
For Rickoss some Kiwifruit, peeled and ripe
Joe Poly wants jam of no specified type

Sniper wants Strawberrys, plain as pie
And in go eggs for Mr. Nice Guy
Mistaken for sugar, in goes cocaine
But since Weird Kid says it, no one's to blame

Frankly I think Badgerman is disturbed
He wants a jam made out of banana curd.
You'll love it or hate it, that's what they say
When Shadow Dragon gets Marmite his way

Pizza and chips are the choice of Ortega
And I'm sure Sonicrav will add anything Sega
I should get a choice too, since I am here
So just for me, a half pint of beer.

Mix them up, stir them up, add salt and pepper
Dish it all out and we'll sit down together
All of us people from Special Reserve
To eat our very own Special Preserve.

He's shouting and swearing because I forgot
Er-no wants Buffy put in the pot.
I thought that he was a deeper man
But he just wants to see Buffy covered in jam.

SHARED FATE

Who knows the passions of a bleeding heart ?
Who has not woken from sleep with frightened start ?
Who has not feared for the self’s same soul ?
Who has not cried because of anothers hurt ?
Who has not shuddered at imagined pains ?
Who has not walked the lonely drizzle of our saddest rains ?

We are one - in the sense of we,
we understand each other,
you and me,
we know the eyes of passion,
monsters of our bliss,
as each and every one of us,
has heaven tried to kiss.

Can we use Copied poems, cause this is copyed?
Notice the keyword FATE :D