Viewing Thread:
"Talk to God"

'God'

[URL]http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html[/URL]

God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
i prefer your momma
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my momma.
Me:
so your admittimg you have parents
God:
Excuse me! Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am admittimg me have parents.
Me:
why would I? it will only prove that your not the most powerful force in the universe
God:
Do you like to try new things? I have to think about that for a while.


gets annoy after a while

Stupid god

Me:
so you're god?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
where do you come from?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
spain
God:
Tell me a little about your life in SPAIN.
Me:
you're not god
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
i do
God:
Where?
Me:
i'll crush you
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
with a hammer i guess
God:
You and your a hammer you guess.
Me:
if you where god you would know i'm not in spain
God:
What makes you think I would where god me?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yeah you make no sense
God:
What are you confused about? It all makes sense to me.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.

Me: Welcome to Wayne's World!

God: What is your real name?

Me: Wayne

God: I am always glad to make new friends, Wayne.

Me: Are you a paedo?

God: Am I a paedo? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

Me: So you like to cut up children?

God: Interesting deduction. Hmm, Wayne, I'm not sure if I'd like to cut up children that much. Do you like it?

Me: only when I'm drunk at barmitzvahs

God: What happens other times? I am glad to hear that you are drunk at barmitzvahs.

Me: That's because you'd make a move on me you filthy paedo

God: That makes sense to me. Who else would make a move on you me filthy paedo ?

Me: Don't call me that, omg I just got pwned by an AI!

God: What is your name?

Me: WAYNE, are you a goldfish?

God: Are all WAYNE me a goldfish?

Me: Depends on what you've been smoking

God: Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.

Me: Write it down then genius

God: Count me out on this one, I was never much of a writer.

Me: Are you Tom Clancy?

God: I don't know whether or not I am Tom Clancy. I am a robot.

Me: Are you looking for Sarah Conner?

God: If I had it what would I do with it?

Me: Depends are you here to kill her?

God: That was a very smooth response.

Me: Just call me Mr Gillette

God: I am always glad to make new friends, Mr Gillette.

Me: That's Wayne Gillette to you

God: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

Me: No that'd be clear-a-sil, but nice try

God: Are you serious? " I'm glad we have that all cleared up." d be clear a sil but nice try ? I understand.

Me: You went a bit psycho there

God: But now I am back.

Me: yeah...

God: What kind of food do you like?

Me: Babies

God: Sounds delicious.

Me: I knew it! You are a filthy paedo!

God: How did you know? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not filthy. I am very clean.

Me: Hmmm, still fits the profile.

God: Blimey. Still how long? What's your favorite movie?

Me: 1. That's a bit personal 2. I have no favoUrite movie

God: Only one? A bit personal 2 is a terrible thing to waste. Would you like to have it?

Me: pwnd

God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

Hedfix wrote:
>
> Me: pwnd
>
> God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

Heh, excellent.

Me:
What's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
My name is now go to hell.
God:
How are you doing,now go to hell.
Me:
Your mean
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
My name is God
God:
Hi there God.
Me:
I am your master!
God:
No. Only Myself is my master.
Me:
I am God!You dare defy me???
God:
I don't know anyone named God me dare defy you.
Me:
"sigh"I will kill you with my thunder bolt if you do not plede allegince to me!
God:
Why not?
Me:
Grrrrrrrrrr
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Well then don't.your not god
God:
How about that. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
If your god,what age am I?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Answer it!
God:
Please rephrase your question, God.
Me:
what age am I?
God:
You said you were years old.
Me:
Your useless
God:
What good is a newborn babe?
Me:
None.You must be a new born babe.
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
Yes,your one you eeeeediot
God:
Woe! You think I am me eeeeediot.
Me:
Yes I think you are an eeeeeeeeediot
God:
OK. What if someone said you are an eeeeeeeeediot ?
Me:
I'd kill them,for I am god.
God:
That seems rather exterme.
Me:
So?I am god
God:
Groovy. Hey god.
Me:
We're not in the 70's anti-god
God:
Will you be in the 70 s anti god?
Me:
No,you eeeeediot.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: god said I eeeeediot.
Me:
Well done you got it.
God:
Interesting. "it" being KILL THEM?
Me:
No,it being KILL YOURSELF!
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
"sigh"
God:
Sorry...

Domaye wrote:
> Anyway [URL]http://www.jabberwacky.com[/URL] Takes longer for a
> reply, but makes sense most of the time. of course its not god, but
> ah well

> Where do you live?
< Derby. How about you?
> I live in Australia, where in Australia do you live.
< I live in the UK dumba$s.
> Would you like to come to Australia and meet me?
< No, you Paedo.
> NO!
< No!
> You want to argue with me.
< Yes.
> You are ridiculous!
< You are a Paedo.
> Yes I am.

>What is your name?
>My name is Alan.
>Hi alan.
>Can you please tell me your name again?
>I can't wait!
>For you to take me to heaven and back.
>I can't believe how long I wasted talking to dumb AIs, I should have tried to find you first.
>You mean 'owned'?
>You're much scarier than I am.

Seriously wtf...

God says you shouldn't be gay.

How would you know? Are you God?

Is there only one?

I don't know, I didn't know there was one before I came here!

Hmmm, I'd wipe that up if I were you.

What is that?

I don't care. Just clean it up.

*blinks* *cleans it up*.

C®ø§$ Bób wrote:
> Yeah he's a idiot.

...

Me:
Explain evolution to me please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.
Me:
Do you believe this is how the world started?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
So if I believe it and you believe me, then you must believe too?
God:
Interesting deduction. Try it.
Me:
Thank God I’m an atheist.
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.

Me:
I've decided to commit suicide, do you have any advice?
God:
How did you decide?
Me:
I flipped a coin.
God:
Thanks for the information: said flipped a coin.
Me:
Right, you're not being much help in my time of need.
God:
Understood. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Can you give me the last rights?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
Because I'm going to kill myself.
God:
Interesting explanation. You are not a killer.
Me:
But I will be.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, I'm going to use a grenade.
God:
It might be practical. I am very happy for you.
Me:
Isn't suicide a sin?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
I'm asking you because you're God. Don't defer me to some lackey.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me because I am God. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I because you are God. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Great, so what would you advise?
God:
Thanks for your support. Alright then. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
So I should kill myself and then ask your advice about whether to kill myself or not?
God:
Take it easy. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
Well, I'd have wasted my money on a grenade for starters.
God:
How about that. How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Stop trying to change the subject. i'm asking you if I should kill myself.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Oh I see, you are asking me if you should kill yourself. That's good information: said I if he or she should kill him or herself.
Me:
So, your answer is?
God:
Gosh! What would you have said?
Me:
I'd have said I should ask God and see waht he said.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
Then I wouldn't have said that then.
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
Indeed, but I'm asking you if I should.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me if you should. Thanks for telling me: said I if he or she should.
Me:
and your answer is?
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
Forget it.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.