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Okay, I need advice.
It's been ages since I've pulled in a club, especially in circumstances where you can't really talk (on the dancefloor), and I've totally lost the feel for it.
However, I've improved myself a bit recently, leading to more opportunities. I've had opportunities before, but not really been sure how to make a move (in opportunities where I 'would').
Last night was a blatant example of this - total opportunity with a really hot woman, and decent opportunities with a couple of other hot women.
I'd rather a long term relationship, but I don't have a problem with casual sex, and you wouldn't either if you saw that girl :^P
So, pulling on a dancefloor, where you can't really talk. Help Mumbai get laid :^D
It's been ages since I've pulled in a club, especially in circumstances where you can't really talk (on the dancefloor), and I've totally lost the feel for it.
However, I've improved myself a bit recently, leading to more opportunities. I've had opportunities before, but not really been sure how to make a move (in opportunities where I 'would').
Last night was a blatant example of this - total opportunity with a really hot woman, and decent opportunities with a couple of other hot women.
I'd rather a long term relationship, but I don't have a problem with casual sex, and you wouldn't either if you saw that girl :^P
So, pulling on a dancefloor, where you can't really talk. Help Mumbai get laid :^D
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Just try to go for the smouldering eye contact and look sexy.
Warning: If you are ugly this will make you look creepy
Warning: If you are ugly this will make you look creepy
Best chat up line ever...
Go up to her, look her up and down and say "You'll do"
Works every time!...
Go up to her, look her up and down and say "You'll do"
Works every time!...
My mates and I have been discussing potentially kickass chat up lines, and have come up with some super awesome ones.
"Have you ever considered having sex with me?"
This was actually said by one friend of mine to another while drunk, fairly innocently, although that didn't stop him from getting a flat no
Another one, which a friend of a friend apparently thinks is gold, is to tell a girl she's got something in her teeth. Then you start up a repore. This sounds like the worst idea ever, with two possible outcomes - a) she tells you to get bent for pointing out her flaws, or b) she goes to the toilet to check and upon realising she has nothing in her teeth, decides you are a lunatic and a liar, and won't come within 50 metres of you all night. I guess the only way this would work is if you scouted out girls that actually did have something in their teeth, but in this case, they'd probably not be worth the jump.
"Don't let this rape turn into a murder"
Actually, scratch that, this is by far the worst and most sickeningly East London 'chat up' I've ever heard, and I'm pretty sure no one has ever mustered any emotion other than disgust and fear after uttering it. Do not use, ever.
"Look, I really like you, and if you can't deal with it then just f##k off"
My absolute favourite, which I'll no doubt give a run out when I'm tanked enough, is lifted directly from Peep Show I believe. Runs the risk of said girl actually f##king off, but the payoff would be worth it.
Of course, anyone who actually uses a chat up line deserves to die in a smelly gutter with fishheads as pillows, so just relax, be confident, don't come across too desperate and strike up a conversation at the bar. Try something like "I can't believe that new Pope is a Nazi" or "I for one believe Michael Jackson is innocent".
Good luck!
"Have you ever considered having sex with me?"
This was actually said by one friend of mine to another while drunk, fairly innocently, although that didn't stop him from getting a flat no
Another one, which a friend of a friend apparently thinks is gold, is to tell a girl she's got something in her teeth. Then you start up a repore. This sounds like the worst idea ever, with two possible outcomes - a) she tells you to get bent for pointing out her flaws, or b) she goes to the toilet to check and upon realising she has nothing in her teeth, decides you are a lunatic and a liar, and won't come within 50 metres of you all night. I guess the only way this would work is if you scouted out girls that actually did have something in their teeth, but in this case, they'd probably not be worth the jump.
"Don't let this rape turn into a murder"
Actually, scratch that, this is by far the worst and most sickeningly East London 'chat up' I've ever heard, and I'm pretty sure no one has ever mustered any emotion other than disgust and fear after uttering it. Do not use, ever.
"Look, I really like you, and if you can't deal with it then just f##k off"
My absolute favourite, which I'll no doubt give a run out when I'm tanked enough, is lifted directly from Peep Show I believe. Runs the risk of said girl actually f##king off, but the payoff would be worth it.
Of course, anyone who actually uses a chat up line deserves to die in a smelly gutter with fishheads as pillows, so just relax, be confident, don't come across too desperate and strike up a conversation at the bar. Try something like "I can't believe that new Pope is a Nazi" or "I for one believe Michael Jackson is innocent".
Good luck!
GAD please.
I usually try to drink a lot, throw up on a girls shoulder, and get a pity-shag. Failing that I grit my teeth and pound the air like Brucey, it moistens anyone within a 13-foot radius.
My geniune adivce from the times I've been clubbing to a "night club" sort of club, as opposed to the places I go nowadays (metal clubs, where everyone sits, smokes and talks about angst and suicide and other upbeat things), is basicaly what someone else said, dont be afraid of rejection.
Drink shots, dont drink anything that will make you need to pee every ten minutes. Get to the point where you're drunk enough to dance, but no so drunk you'll be sick or crap yourself.
I've found that not showering for a few days seems to really turn women on, especially if you've been doing a lot of jogging and contact sports. That way you'll smell like other men and chicks dig that.
Be careful of fat lasses. I was in a club at the end of last year and a fat lass started dancing with me. I tried to go away but she was all around me. She was a pure BBW-flapjack. I wished I had a fat fetish but instead I felt sick. She gyrated on me and I poured a drink on her to make her go away. If a pretty girl sees you dancing with a mess she will assume you have no taste. Women just want to feel as if they're special. None of them really are, except Kirstn Dunst, but if you go from dancing with flabby McGee to a pretty girl, pretty girl will think she's the same level as the fat girl and try and kill herself.
Pros:
- Dead girls dont say no
Cons:
- She'll go cold
If you spot a nice piece of meat to dance with, grow some balls and just go and dance with her. If she says no, go back when she's more drunk. If her boyfriend muscles up to you, dance with him. Show what a flirty metrosexual you are. If the girl doesnt want you, you may as well try and sleep with her boyfriend, it's the way it works. I read a handbook about it I found in a lobby in Antigua.
You can also use mobile phones to write messages to girls seeing as you cant talk in a club environment. Write her a little "you have beautiful eyes" message, then scroll down to the bit about you wanting to be inside her. To be extra cool, try writing the message in binary, or bluetooth her a picture of your stern manhood. She'll cream for you.
Failing all of the above, smoke some crack. You'll have a great night.
My geniune adivce from the times I've been clubbing to a "night club" sort of club, as opposed to the places I go nowadays (metal clubs, where everyone sits, smokes and talks about angst and suicide and other upbeat things), is basicaly what someone else said, dont be afraid of rejection.
Drink shots, dont drink anything that will make you need to pee every ten minutes. Get to the point where you're drunk enough to dance, but no so drunk you'll be sick or crap yourself.
I've found that not showering for a few days seems to really turn women on, especially if you've been doing a lot of jogging and contact sports. That way you'll smell like other men and chicks dig that.
Be careful of fat lasses. I was in a club at the end of last year and a fat lass started dancing with me. I tried to go away but she was all around me. She was a pure BBW-flapjack. I wished I had a fat fetish but instead I felt sick. She gyrated on me and I poured a drink on her to make her go away. If a pretty girl sees you dancing with a mess she will assume you have no taste. Women just want to feel as if they're special. None of them really are, except Kirstn Dunst, but if you go from dancing with flabby McGee to a pretty girl, pretty girl will think she's the same level as the fat girl and try and kill herself.
Pros:
- Dead girls dont say no
Cons:
- She'll go cold
If you spot a nice piece of meat to dance with, grow some balls and just go and dance with her. If she says no, go back when she's more drunk. If her boyfriend muscles up to you, dance with him. Show what a flirty metrosexual you are. If the girl doesnt want you, you may as well try and sleep with her boyfriend, it's the way it works. I read a handbook about it I found in a lobby in Antigua.
You can also use mobile phones to write messages to girls seeing as you cant talk in a club environment. Write her a little "you have beautiful eyes" message, then scroll down to the bit about you wanting to be inside her. To be extra cool, try writing the message in binary, or bluetooth her a picture of your stern manhood. She'll cream for you.
Failing all of the above, smoke some crack. You'll have a great night.
Give the girls you like your mobile number and pick the best text at the end of the night.
Failing that go around asking them if they fancy a shag, refreshing honesty and all that. Besides it'll make the right girl laugh.
Failing that go around asking them if they fancy a shag, refreshing honesty and all that. Besides it'll make the right girl laugh.
hahaha, it's pretty much true though ;)
I dance when drunk, obviously. But by that time I've already got past my 'i really hate it here' stage, so I'm a little too drunk to be asking laydees whether they want to do something.
I dance when drunk, obviously. But by that time I've already got past my 'i really hate it here' stage, so I'm a little too drunk to be asking laydees whether they want to do something.
gamesfreak wrote:
> I never really like clubs anyway, usually full of FHM-reading idiots
> and Heat! magazine girls.
You class people on what magazines they read?
"Hi, how are you?"
"Pffffft you read Heat, get outta ma' face"
> I never really like clubs anyway, usually full of FHM-reading idiots
> and Heat! magazine girls.
You class people on what magazines they read?
"Hi, how are you?"
"Pffffft you read Heat, get outta ma' face"
I only dance when I'm drunk.*
Call me an idiot or whatever, but you'd never ever see me dance when sober, mainly because I'd feel like an ultimate twit.
* I loosely use the word 'dance'
Meh, dancing sucks.
I never really like clubs anyway, usually full of FHM-reading idiots and Heat! magazine girls.
Call me an idiot or whatever, but you'd never ever see me dance when sober, mainly because I'd feel like an ultimate twit.
* I loosely use the word 'dance'
Meh, dancing sucks.
I never really like clubs anyway, usually full of FHM-reading idiots and Heat! magazine girls.
Oh and I've danced once... to Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand... then even guttered I felt stupid.
I hate dancing.
I'm cool
I hate dancing.
I'm cool
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