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I'd like some feed-back of the storyline if possible:
The Call
by Shaun Munro
We follow two different men who both live in New York, waking up with their families gone and finding a note, leading them to an address. As they arrive a phone booth rings and each of them steps into said booth. They're told by the man on the other end that their family has been kidknapped.
However, they are both also told that the kidknapper would be meeting them shortly, and the man on the phone describes to each man the other man's appearance - basically playing both men, who've never met each other, against each other when they meet.
I was gonna have it that Man #1 enters a booth on the left of the street. Man #2 enters the booth on the right. Eventually the caller tells both of them that they failed to notice a middle booth and they both go there, thinking the other is the kidknapper. The caller hid guns in both booths and so there's a gunfight around the confined space of a phone booth before discovering they've both been set up. Then they both realise and decide to team up against and find the caller.
So, they find him, blow away loadsa his subbordinates and kill him. But I'm stuck on what ending I should write:
A - Both men find their families alive.
B - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead.
C - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead and shoots himself.
Thanks in advance for the feed-back. Any plot questions are welcome, as I probably didn't explain well enough here. Cheers.
The Call
by Shaun Munro
We follow two different men who both live in New York, waking up with their families gone and finding a note, leading them to an address. As they arrive a phone booth rings and each of them steps into said booth. They're told by the man on the other end that their family has been kidknapped.
However, they are both also told that the kidknapper would be meeting them shortly, and the man on the phone describes to each man the other man's appearance - basically playing both men, who've never met each other, against each other when they meet.
I was gonna have it that Man #1 enters a booth on the left of the street. Man #2 enters the booth on the right. Eventually the caller tells both of them that they failed to notice a middle booth and they both go there, thinking the other is the kidknapper. The caller hid guns in both booths and so there's a gunfight around the confined space of a phone booth before discovering they've both been set up. Then they both realise and decide to team up against and find the caller.
So, they find him, blow away loadsa his subbordinates and kill him. But I'm stuck on what ending I should write:
A - Both men find their families alive.
B - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead.
C - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead and shoots himself.
Thanks in advance for the feed-back. Any plot questions are welcome, as I probably didn't explain well enough here. Cheers.
gerrid wrote:
> Really?
> I would never have guessed that.
I suppose before you write a film idea you've got to ask yourself what makes a good film? and everybody knows the answer.
You might want to include something else before the two men find the kidnapper maybe a twist or something. But something is missing at that point.
> Really?
> I would never have guessed that.
I suppose before you write a film idea you've got to ask yourself what makes a good film? and everybody knows the answer.
You might want to include something else before the two men find the kidnapper maybe a twist or something. But something is missing at that point.
Really?
I would never have guessed that.
I would never have guessed that.
You don't want the plot to be to complicated but you want something catchy in it and a good twist or surprise at the end.
The ending sounds like the end of 24 Season 1.
D- it was all a dream?
B but what about the wife losing the baby through miscarraige or something like that!
One man finds his family alive, but the other finds his family dead. The first family then see his sadness and that he is all alone and welcome him into their family.
B & D - It's B, and a sequel is left open. Which is D.
A few years in the future or whatever, months whatever, the bloke whose wife is found dead decides to hunt down the kidnapper. You could do something like, one day he turns up at the door of the other bloke asking for assistance, but he's reluctand and doesn't. Later on, he appears*, and ends up helping.
*Or, from here, you could make some sort of twist, and it ends up so that he is infact the kidnapper.
Hmm.
Some of it (what I've described, not you) sounds a little clichéd though.
A few years in the future or whatever, months whatever, the bloke whose wife is found dead decides to hunt down the kidnapper. You could do something like, one day he turns up at the door of the other bloke asking for assistance, but he's reluctand and doesn't. Later on, he appears*, and ends up helping.
*Or, from here, you could make some sort of twist, and it ends up so that he is infact the kidnapper.
Hmm.
Some of it (what I've described, not you) sounds a little clichéd though.
C.
I'd like some feed-back of the storyline if possible:
The Call
by Shaun Munro
We follow two different men who both live in New York, waking up with their families gone and finding a note, leading them to an address. As they arrive a phone booth rings and each of them steps into said booth. They're told by the man on the other end that their family has been kidknapped.
However, they are both also told that the kidknapper would be meeting them shortly, and the man on the phone describes to each man the other man's appearance - basically playing both men, who've never met each other, against each other when they meet.
I was gonna have it that Man #1 enters a booth on the left of the street. Man #2 enters the booth on the right. Eventually the caller tells both of them that they failed to notice a middle booth and they both go there, thinking the other is the kidknapper. The caller hid guns in both booths and so there's a gunfight around the confined space of a phone booth before discovering they've both been set up. Then they both realise and decide to team up against and find the caller.
So, they find him, blow away loadsa his subbordinates and kill him. But I'm stuck on what ending I should write:
A - Both men find their families alive.
B - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead.
C - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead and shoots himself.
Thanks in advance for the feed-back. Any plot questions are welcome, as I probably didn't explain well enough here. Cheers.
The Call
by Shaun Munro
We follow two different men who both live in New York, waking up with their families gone and finding a note, leading them to an address. As they arrive a phone booth rings and each of them steps into said booth. They're told by the man on the other end that their family has been kidknapped.
However, they are both also told that the kidknapper would be meeting them shortly, and the man on the phone describes to each man the other man's appearance - basically playing both men, who've never met each other, against each other when they meet.
I was gonna have it that Man #1 enters a booth on the left of the street. Man #2 enters the booth on the right. Eventually the caller tells both of them that they failed to notice a middle booth and they both go there, thinking the other is the kidknapper. The caller hid guns in both booths and so there's a gunfight around the confined space of a phone booth before discovering they've both been set up. Then they both realise and decide to team up against and find the caller.
So, they find him, blow away loadsa his subbordinates and kill him. But I'm stuck on what ending I should write:
A - Both men find their families alive.
B - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead.
C - One man does, but the other finds his pregnant wife dead and shoots himself.
Thanks in advance for the feed-back. Any plot questions are welcome, as I probably didn't explain well enough here. Cheers.