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"I'm a fey, cowardly British sailor-man. Shall we tell Gladiator that a ship is out there?"
"Make a decision fey Sailor-man, doesn't this nicely set-up your inability to make decisions and highlight how rubbish you are within the first 2 minutes?"
"Yes it does. Boy, I hope the crew don't hate me and call me Jonah later on"
"Indeed. Anyway, we woke Gladiator"
"I am father to a bunch of hairy cheeked scurvy dogs and a couple of teenage boys, husband to a big wooden boat and commander of the sea and stuff. And in this life or the next, I will squint heroically and look like I'm trying to pass a melon"
"Anything there Gladiator?"
"Nope. Wait...I somehow sense a connection with the captain of the other boat. Look out!"
"Now there'll be 10 mins of cool wooden-combat and people getting splinters in their eyes and a little boy getting his arm hacked off!"
"A little boy? Isn't that a tad suspicious?"
"Nope, it's historically accurate apparently. Besides, Gladiator would never touch his mizzenmast"
"Pippen is driving the boat!"
"...curses, a gay singing midget"
"Did you know Nelson, Gladiator?"
"Yes, he was excellent. Let's drink grog and sing and make the old "Lesser of two weevils" joke to show my cameraderie and bad drunk acting"
"That one-armed kid seems remarkably happy about being one-armed doesn't he?"
"Yes, he is showing how faith in Gladiator and some wine can make you forget losing an arm"
"What now?"
"We'll talk for an hour about how big that big ship was and how much bigger than ours it is"
"Oooo! The Galapagos Islands, I can pick berries and touch seals"
"Yes Doctor"
"Thanks Gladiator"
"Actually I lied, I am driven by pyschic connection to the Captain of the bad big boat and I want to catch him"
"So....what now?"
"We'll talk for another 40 mins"
"Didn't the trailer show action and boats and war and stuff? And aren't you Gladiator? Why aren't you attacking fish and rocks and stuff?"
"This isn't an action movie, it's a Peter Weir flick, did you forget?"
"...christ, Walkabout. Now I remember"
"Exactly"
"I found a stick-insect, see how it camouflages itself?"
"Ah! I have an plan"
"A cunning plan?"
"Nope, but there hasn't been any action since the start and the blokes are getting restless and Gladiator isn't wearing a toga so the women are bored as well"
"Fair enough, let's have a big bad boat beatdown"
"For England!"
"Pip Pip"
"Damn, that sneaky Captain tricked me"
"But I thought you could sense him Gladiator?"
"Only his bad boat"
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
Audience "No, this sucks. I saw the trailer and I saw naval warfare and Gladiator and cannons and storms. What I've just seen was a Doctor picking berries, Gladiator getting rained on and not fighting and some smokey ship shenanigans. This sucks ass"
"Make a decision fey Sailor-man, doesn't this nicely set-up your inability to make decisions and highlight how rubbish you are within the first 2 minutes?"
"Yes it does. Boy, I hope the crew don't hate me and call me Jonah later on"
"Indeed. Anyway, we woke Gladiator"
"I am father to a bunch of hairy cheeked scurvy dogs and a couple of teenage boys, husband to a big wooden boat and commander of the sea and stuff. And in this life or the next, I will squint heroically and look like I'm trying to pass a melon"
"Anything there Gladiator?"
"Nope. Wait...I somehow sense a connection with the captain of the other boat. Look out!"
"Now there'll be 10 mins of cool wooden-combat and people getting splinters in their eyes and a little boy getting his arm hacked off!"
"A little boy? Isn't that a tad suspicious?"
"Nope, it's historically accurate apparently. Besides, Gladiator would never touch his mizzenmast"
"Pippen is driving the boat!"
"...curses, a gay singing midget"
"Did you know Nelson, Gladiator?"
"Yes, he was excellent. Let's drink grog and sing and make the old "Lesser of two weevils" joke to show my cameraderie and bad drunk acting"
"That one-armed kid seems remarkably happy about being one-armed doesn't he?"
"Yes, he is showing how faith in Gladiator and some wine can make you forget losing an arm"
"What now?"
"We'll talk for an hour about how big that big ship was and how much bigger than ours it is"
"Oooo! The Galapagos Islands, I can pick berries and touch seals"
"Yes Doctor"
"Thanks Gladiator"
"Actually I lied, I am driven by pyschic connection to the Captain of the bad big boat and I want to catch him"
"So....what now?"
"We'll talk for another 40 mins"
"Didn't the trailer show action and boats and war and stuff? And aren't you Gladiator? Why aren't you attacking fish and rocks and stuff?"
"This isn't an action movie, it's a Peter Weir flick, did you forget?"
"...christ, Walkabout. Now I remember"
"Exactly"
"I found a stick-insect, see how it camouflages itself?"
"Ah! I have an plan"
"A cunning plan?"
"Nope, but there hasn't been any action since the start and the blokes are getting restless and Gladiator isn't wearing a toga so the women are bored as well"
"Fair enough, let's have a big bad boat beatdown"
"For England!"
"Pip Pip"
"Damn, that sneaky Captain tricked me"
"But I thought you could sense him Gladiator?"
"Only his bad boat"
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
Audience "No, this sucks. I saw the trailer and I saw naval warfare and Gladiator and cannons and storms. What I've just seen was a Doctor picking berries, Gladiator getting rained on and not fighting and some smokey ship shenanigans. This sucks ass"
quality. although I assume that when you said "I somehow sense a connection with the captain of the other boat" that you really meant "I saw the flashes from cannon fire in the mist".
I thought it was pretty good, although not as good as all the reviews I read said it was.
I thought it was pretty good, although not as good as all the reviews I read said it was.
Thanks for enforcing my decision not to watch it.
Fair enough.
I liked the beginning and the end battles, but I wanted more than ruminations on the horrors of war and how to best manage a ship full of sailors.
I wanted Gladiator Vs The Sea.
I liked the beginning and the end battles, but I wanted more than ruminations on the horrors of war and how to best manage a ship full of sailors.
I wanted Gladiator Vs The Sea.
Heh, that made me laugh.
But I saw the film for the first time a couple of days ago and liked it. I even liked the doctory bits.
But I saw the film for the first time a couple of days ago and liked it. I even liked the doctory bits.
"I'm a fey, cowardly British sailor-man. Shall we tell Gladiator that a ship is out there?"
"Make a decision fey Sailor-man, doesn't this nicely set-up your inability to make decisions and highlight how rubbish you are within the first 2 minutes?"
"Yes it does. Boy, I hope the crew don't hate me and call me Jonah later on"
"Indeed. Anyway, we woke Gladiator"
"I am father to a bunch of hairy cheeked scurvy dogs and a couple of teenage boys, husband to a big wooden boat and commander of the sea and stuff. And in this life or the next, I will squint heroically and look like I'm trying to pass a melon"
"Anything there Gladiator?"
"Nope. Wait...I somehow sense a connection with the captain of the other boat. Look out!"
"Now there'll be 10 mins of cool wooden-combat and people getting splinters in their eyes and a little boy getting his arm hacked off!"
"A little boy? Isn't that a tad suspicious?"
"Nope, it's historically accurate apparently. Besides, Gladiator would never touch his mizzenmast"
"Pippen is driving the boat!"
"...curses, a gay singing midget"
"Did you know Nelson, Gladiator?"
"Yes, he was excellent. Let's drink grog and sing and make the old "Lesser of two weevils" joke to show my cameraderie and bad drunk acting"
"That one-armed kid seems remarkably happy about being one-armed doesn't he?"
"Yes, he is showing how faith in Gladiator and some wine can make you forget losing an arm"
"What now?"
"We'll talk for an hour about how big that big ship was and how much bigger than ours it is"
"Oooo! The Galapagos Islands, I can pick berries and touch seals"
"Yes Doctor"
"Thanks Gladiator"
"Actually I lied, I am driven by pyschic connection to the Captain of the bad big boat and I want to catch him"
"So....what now?"
"We'll talk for another 40 mins"
"Didn't the trailer show action and boats and war and stuff? And aren't you Gladiator? Why aren't you attacking fish and rocks and stuff?"
"This isn't an action movie, it's a Peter Weir flick, did you forget?"
"...christ, Walkabout. Now I remember"
"Exactly"
"I found a stick-insect, see how it camouflages itself?"
"Ah! I have an plan"
"A cunning plan?"
"Nope, but there hasn't been any action since the start and the blokes are getting restless and Gladiator isn't wearing a toga so the women are bored as well"
"Fair enough, let's have a big bad boat beatdown"
"For England!"
"Pip Pip"
"Damn, that sneaky Captain tricked me"
"But I thought you could sense him Gladiator?"
"Only his bad boat"
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
Audience "No, this sucks. I saw the trailer and I saw naval warfare and Gladiator and cannons and storms. What I've just seen was a Doctor picking berries, Gladiator getting rained on and not fighting and some smokey ship shenanigans. This sucks ass"
"Make a decision fey Sailor-man, doesn't this nicely set-up your inability to make decisions and highlight how rubbish you are within the first 2 minutes?"
"Yes it does. Boy, I hope the crew don't hate me and call me Jonah later on"
"Indeed. Anyway, we woke Gladiator"
"I am father to a bunch of hairy cheeked scurvy dogs and a couple of teenage boys, husband to a big wooden boat and commander of the sea and stuff. And in this life or the next, I will squint heroically and look like I'm trying to pass a melon"
"Anything there Gladiator?"
"Nope. Wait...I somehow sense a connection with the captain of the other boat. Look out!"
"Now there'll be 10 mins of cool wooden-combat and people getting splinters in their eyes and a little boy getting his arm hacked off!"
"A little boy? Isn't that a tad suspicious?"
"Nope, it's historically accurate apparently. Besides, Gladiator would never touch his mizzenmast"
"Pippen is driving the boat!"
"...curses, a gay singing midget"
"Did you know Nelson, Gladiator?"
"Yes, he was excellent. Let's drink grog and sing and make the old "Lesser of two weevils" joke to show my cameraderie and bad drunk acting"
"That one-armed kid seems remarkably happy about being one-armed doesn't he?"
"Yes, he is showing how faith in Gladiator and some wine can make you forget losing an arm"
"What now?"
"We'll talk for an hour about how big that big ship was and how much bigger than ours it is"
"Oooo! The Galapagos Islands, I can pick berries and touch seals"
"Yes Doctor"
"Thanks Gladiator"
"Actually I lied, I am driven by pyschic connection to the Captain of the bad big boat and I want to catch him"
"So....what now?"
"We'll talk for another 40 mins"
"Didn't the trailer show action and boats and war and stuff? And aren't you Gladiator? Why aren't you attacking fish and rocks and stuff?"
"This isn't an action movie, it's a Peter Weir flick, did you forget?"
"...christ, Walkabout. Now I remember"
"Exactly"
"I found a stick-insect, see how it camouflages itself?"
"Ah! I have an plan"
"A cunning plan?"
"Nope, but there hasn't been any action since the start and the blokes are getting restless and Gladiator isn't wearing a toga so the women are bored as well"
"Fair enough, let's have a big bad boat beatdown"
"For England!"
"Pip Pip"
"Damn, that sneaky Captain tricked me"
"But I thought you could sense him Gladiator?"
"Only his bad boat"
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
Audience "No, this sucks. I saw the trailer and I saw naval warfare and Gladiator and cannons and storms. What I've just seen was a Doctor picking berries, Gladiator getting rained on and not fighting and some smokey ship shenanigans. This sucks ass"