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"Monkey, I must inquire." Captain Catering asked, standing at the counter of the Value Burger fast food outlet. "What on Earth have you eaten?"
"I tried drinking some of the milk portions, CC." Catering Assistant Mighty Monkey grumbled. "They don't agree with me."
"It never has, MM." The Captain replied. Silly Monkey, he was always arguing with the milk portions. "Just because they don't agree with you doesn't mean you have to eat them."
"I know, CC. It's my one failing." Monkey replied, sadly.
"Come on now guys." Trout said, wobbling to the the front. "Lots of cleaning to be done today!"
The rain was pouring down. Nobody would be on the island today, anyone who tried to get to it would be killed in the sea trip no doubt. Not because of the rain, it's just the Captain of the ship became pyscotic because of the squeeky windscreen wipers.
Cheeky, the ventriloquist doll that became a real boy, and for some reason enjoys using his new found life to cook chips, decided to clean the fryers. They were in quite a state.
Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey pulled the fridge back to clean behind it, and noticed that someone had written 'GLUTTONY' on the wall in blood. The duo looked at each other, then decided to push the fridge back.
There was a knock at the rear entrance. The Girl With No Name answered it to find two men in white coats standing there.
"Hello young lady." Both the scientists said, speaking at the exact same time. "We're from the RSPCA, we've been tipped off about a diseased monkey working in poor conditions here."
The Girl With No Name walked away, saying no word. The two men stood there, a little confused. Tim walked up to them.
"Oh, I'm sorry. She doesn't say much... you're from the RSPCA?" Tim asked, politely, as always.
"We are," They said in unison. "We're looking for a monkey." As Tim and the scientists talked, Cheeky walked to the sink and started filling a bucket with soapy warm water.
"Hello?" Said Trout in her irritatingly deep and whiney Welsh accent. "What'd you want?"
"Are you the supervisor?" They both asked.
"Yes, I am." She said, proudly.
"Then I'm afraid you've had a diseased animal working for you." The scientists said. "We're here to collect him."
Cheeky looked at the chip fryer, and the bucket of soapy water. He threw the water onto the fryer.
Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey had walked to see the scientists by now, all crowding around. "And what proof do you have that our Monkey is diseased?"
In the background, screaming and manical laughter suddenly made everyone jump. Cheeky ran across, in flames, before opening the freezer and jumping inside.
The scientists broke the silence. "We have a doctor here to examine him." The two spoke together as always. "Come in, Dr Doom."
Dr Doom walked into the outlet, and a crash of thunder and lightning... happened. Dramatically.
"Well, that's half the budget blown." Captain whispered.
"This is ridiculous, I'm not diseased." Monkey said. "Rabid, mentally ill, perhaps I'd agree with, but I use protection, damnit!"
Monkey's stomach started growling again, and rumbled. They all looked at him oddly.
"If you're not diseased, then why are you foaming at the mouth?" Dr Doom asked, his voice rumbling.
"He always foams at the mouth!" The Captain exclaimed, defending him.
"Exactly." The Doctor said. The Captain looked worried.
"CC? Don't do this, you know I'm fine, they'll take me away, I'll be in a circus! They'd make me clean the elephants!"
"Maybe it's for your own good MM. Doctors are for the good of the world, they'll make you better." CC said, his sense of justice standing clear once again.
"No!" Monkey said, trembling.
"It's probably best you hand over your badge and shotgun, MM." CC asked sternly.
Monkey looked at the ground, pulled out his shotgun, and handed over his Sheriff's badge.
"Come on Mighty Monkey," Doctor Doom said, comforting him. "Everything will be ok."
----
Captain Catering watched as the rusty van drove away up the road in the rain, with Mighty Monkey clinging to the barred window in the rear, being taken away from him...
Was the food prep superheroes finally split at long last? CC frowned.
"Ah, ello boyo."
"Peg Leg Geoff the Pirate Chef!" CC exclaimed. "It's good to see you!"
"Where's the hairy one?" Geoff asked.
"Oh, he's not well, Geoff, he got taken away. He's in the hands of Doctor Doom now."
"Doctor Doom? Not that evil supervillian that lives in the castle at the top of the hill?"
A flash of lightning illuminated the dark towered castle on the hill.
"GREAT SCOTT!" CC exclaimed.
----
"At last! The Mighty Monkey finally in my clutches!" Doctor Doom yelled, and then laughing manically for timings sake.
"You'll never get away with this Doctor Doom." Monkey said, tied to a donkey's back. "Captain Catering will come for me, he'll foil your foolish plan."
"What plan?" The Doctor asked.
"Your evil scheme."
"Oh, yes. Would you like to hear about it?"
"I'd rather let this donkey rape you."
"Then I shall tell you." Doctor Doom said, walking as he talked. "My scientists have been developing for some time the Heeby-Jeeby-Virus, capable of turning normal tissue into a stronger more resilient type. It creates creatures of ten times the strength of ordinary men, and best of all, it removes their own capability of independent thought."
A crack of lightning made the Mighty Monkey wonder if he'll have to start endorsing NikeTM to pay for going over the budget so much.
"You mean... zombies?" Monkey asked.
"Precisely!" Dr Doom said.
The donkey that Monkey was tied to started walking away. Damnit.
----
Captain Catering stood before the giant castle. He had the Mighty Monkey's shotgun shoved into his Catering Belt, and cautiously entered the front door, which he had just unlocked.
"I'm the master of unlocking, me." CC said to himself. "But where's Barry?"
CC thought to himself, then shook his head.
----
The Mighty Monkey tried talking to the donkey as they walked down another corridor.
"Look, just stop. There's no need for this."
The donkey didn't respond, so Monkey tried wriggling to get out of the bonds. Unfortunately, it just made the ropes slip around the donkey, and Monkey slipped around to the belly of the donkey, with his head facing the rear end.
"Crap." The Mighty Monkey said, and this time, the donkey obeyed.
----
"Rarrgghhh..."
Captain Catering stopped in his tracks, looking from side to side.
"Popppp muussiiiccc" Came the voice again.
CC turned, saw the wandering zombie, with white skin looking much like polystryrene, and blew him away with the shotgun. It exploded in a shower of polystryrene snow.
"I knew we'd run out of money sooner or later."
"Assyyllluummm seeekeerrss gooo hoommmeeee" Another long and twisted voice announced.
CC turned and shot, another explosion of polystryene.
"I wonder where Monkey is." CC announced to himself.
----
In a labratory, the donkey waddled on, with a dirty Monkey swinging between his legs. The Mighty Monkey tried to avoid it.
"I hate you, stupid, damn, donkey." He said to the donkeys underside.
Monkey continued to grumble as he noticed two upside-down zombies walking towards him.
"sooaappp oppperraassss" One moaned. "reallliittyy tttvvvvv"
"Damn it." The Mighty Monkey said... and came up with an idea.
Facing the donkey's underside, he looked back and waited for the zombies to approach as the donkey waddled on slowly.
"Daaancceee musssiiiccccc"
"Nooovvaaaaaaaaassss"
Waiting for the right moment, the Mighty Monkey finally made his move.
The donkey's eyes widened, and with a squeal and an extra loud "EEEHOORRR" it lifted it's two back legs and kicked the heads off the two zombies.
Monkey hardly had time to celebrate as the donkey suddenly took off, and ran into a control panel in the lab, accidently setting off a lever labelled 'translocate'.
----
"TRANSLOCATING IN T MINUS 3 MINUTES" A cute French girl's voice said, calmly.
"Oh dear." CC said.
"You're too late, Captain Catering!" Dr Doom yelled, from a balcony. "The Heeby-Jeeby Virus is set to be launched on the island, creating an army of the damned to do my bidding!"
"I had already worked it out, Dr Doom!" CC called back. "Your foolish scheme will never work!"
"Too late, Catering!" Dr Doom yelled, holding up a shiny metal object. "As soon as I blow this whistle, my army of doom will unleash themselves and attack the residents of this park!"
Dr Doom pulled the whistle to his lips. Captain Catering started to shout "Noooooooo" in slow motion, waving his arms as if they'd do something magical, and at that moment, the donkey with Monkey attached ran through the door on the other side of the balcony...
"Run him down, donkey!" Monkey yelled.
And the donkey came to a halt, and looked over the balcony, missing Dr Doom completely.
"Damn." Monkey said.
Dr Doom, however, had caught sight of the Mighty Monkey, with donkey droppings all over his face.
"Ahha,haha hahhahaahhhHAHAHAHAHH!" Doctor Doom then suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, unable to control himself.
"NOahhahahHHAHA!" He said, laughing madly. "Can'tHAHAHHAHbreatheHhHAHAHA!"
Doctor Doom bent over, hyperventilating in laughter, unable to blow the whistle.
"Good work Mighty Monkey!" The Captain said, snatching the whistle from Dr Doom. "I'm afraid we're the whistleblowers here, Dr Doom."
Monkey, who had managed to untie himself, clean himself, and get his shotgun back, was pointing it directly at Captain Catering. "I'm warning you, no more bad jokes."
"TRANSLOCATION IN T-MINUS THIRTY SECONDS" Came the French girl's voice.
"That voice is turning me on." Mighty Monkey said.
"Where's Dr Doom?" Captain Catering exclaimed.
He had vanished.
"T-MINUS TWENTY SECONDS"
"Good grief, MM, we need to escape!"
"Why don't I use my secret and only power, CC?" The Mighty Monkey asked.
"T-MINUS FIFTEEN SECONDS."
"What's that, MM?" Captain asked.
"Why, to create a plothole, of course!" Replied the Mighty Monkey, who was now wearing a red fez.
"T-MINUS TEN, NINE..."
"But of course! Go ahead Mighty Monkey!"
The Mighty Monkey, with the cute French girl's voice in the background still counting down, pulled out a large black circular mat, placed it on the ground, and the duo jumped in.
Outside, the castle started sparking, fireworks exploding, and with a few twists and turns of the castle it finally span into a dot, before pinging and vanishing, much like in Count Duckula.
----
The Mighty Monkey wiped foam from his mouth, and walked to Captain Catering.
"Thank you CC, for the daring rescue."
"No problem, MM. I'm just worried about the Heeby-Jeeby-Virus being let loose on the public."
"It is quite disconcerting indeed, CC."
"Imagine it, Mighty Monkey. Millions of people with no mind of their own, agreeing only with what the newspapers or tv tells them. Never trying to find out the truth for their own moral judgement, but letting others decide their tastes, honours and beliefs for them. People who's only interest in music is what's forced down their throat, nonsense rubbish while the real artists that make a stand to make fantastic music go unheard of. People who would vote someone to run a country, by believing in what they have been told to be afraid of, and by believing anything that the Governing party might say."
"I don't want to imagine it, CC. I think it'd take too long to clean the mess from the tiles."
"Oh, hi Monkey! Nice to have you back!" Tim said, walking to them.
"ARGH! ZOMBIE!" Monkey said, pulling out his shotgun and blowing Tim's head off.
Monkey turned at the last moment, and seemed to be speaking to an audience.
"I drink Head and ShouldersTM. It keeps my throat dandruff free." He put his thumb up and smiled.
*hands Kyle a tissue*
*sobs*
I've gotta make all the bloody models for this, I've been working on the castle already...
It'll take me several hours before I can recompose my head enough to say anything about it :)
"Monkey, I must inquire." Captain Catering asked, standing at the counter of the Value Burger fast food outlet. "What on Earth have you eaten?"
"I tried drinking some of the milk portions, CC." Catering Assistant Mighty Monkey grumbled. "They don't agree with me."
"It never has, MM." The Captain replied. Silly Monkey, he was always arguing with the milk portions. "Just because they don't agree with you doesn't mean you have to eat them."
"I know, CC. It's my one failing." Monkey replied, sadly.
"Come on now guys." Trout said, wobbling to the the front. "Lots of cleaning to be done today!"
The rain was pouring down. Nobody would be on the island today, anyone who tried to get to it would be killed in the sea trip no doubt. Not because of the rain, it's just the Captain of the ship became pyscotic because of the squeeky windscreen wipers.
Cheeky, the ventriloquist doll that became a real boy, and for some reason enjoys using his new found life to cook chips, decided to clean the fryers. They were in quite a state.
Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey pulled the fridge back to clean behind it, and noticed that someone had written 'GLUTTONY' on the wall in blood. The duo looked at each other, then decided to push the fridge back.
There was a knock at the rear entrance. The Girl With No Name answered it to find two men in white coats standing there.
"Hello young lady." Both the scientists said, speaking at the exact same time. "We're from the RSPCA, we've been tipped off about a diseased monkey working in poor conditions here."
The Girl With No Name walked away, saying no word. The two men stood there, a little confused. Tim walked up to them.
"Oh, I'm sorry. She doesn't say much... you're from the RSPCA?" Tim asked, politely, as always.
"We are," They said in unison. "We're looking for a monkey." As Tim and the scientists talked, Cheeky walked to the sink and started filling a bucket with soapy warm water.
"Hello?" Said Trout in her irritatingly deep and whiney Welsh accent. "What'd you want?"
"Are you the supervisor?" They both asked.
"Yes, I am." She said, proudly.
"Then I'm afraid you've had a diseased animal working for you." The scientists said. "We're here to collect him."
Cheeky looked at the chip fryer, and the bucket of soapy water. He threw the water onto the fryer.
Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey had walked to see the scientists by now, all crowding around. "And what proof do you have that our Monkey is diseased?"
In the background, screaming and manical laughter suddenly made everyone jump. Cheeky ran across, in flames, before opening the freezer and jumping inside.
The scientists broke the silence. "We have a doctor here to examine him." The two spoke together as always. "Come in, Dr Doom."
Dr Doom walked into the outlet, and a crash of thunder and lightning... happened. Dramatically.
"Well, that's half the budget blown." Captain whispered.
"This is ridiculous, I'm not diseased." Monkey said. "Rabid, mentally ill, perhaps I'd agree with, but I use protection, damnit!"
Monkey's stomach started growling again, and rumbled. They all looked at him oddly.
"If you're not diseased, then why are you foaming at the mouth?" Dr Doom asked, his voice rumbling.
"He always foams at the mouth!" The Captain exclaimed, defending him.
"Exactly." The Doctor said. The Captain looked worried.
"CC? Don't do this, you know I'm fine, they'll take me away, I'll be in a circus! They'd make me clean the elephants!"
"Maybe it's for your own good MM. Doctors are for the good of the world, they'll make you better." CC said, his sense of justice standing clear once again.
"No!" Monkey said, trembling.
"It's probably best you hand over your badge and shotgun, MM." CC asked sternly.
Monkey looked at the ground, pulled out his shotgun, and handed over his Sheriff's badge.
"Come on Mighty Monkey," Doctor Doom said, comforting him. "Everything will be ok."
----
Captain Catering watched as the rusty van drove away up the road in the rain, with Mighty Monkey clinging to the barred window in the rear, being taken away from him...
Was the food prep superheroes finally split at long last? CC frowned.
"Ah, ello boyo."
"Peg Leg Geoff the Pirate Chef!" CC exclaimed. "It's good to see you!"
"Where's the hairy one?" Geoff asked.
"Oh, he's not well, Geoff, he got taken away. He's in the hands of Doctor Doom now."
"Doctor Doom? Not that evil supervillian that lives in the castle at the top of the hill?"
A flash of lightning illuminated the dark towered castle on the hill.
"GREAT SCOTT!" CC exclaimed.
----
"At last! The Mighty Monkey finally in my clutches!" Doctor Doom yelled, and then laughing manically for timings sake.
"You'll never get away with this Doctor Doom." Monkey said, tied to a donkey's back. "Captain Catering will come for me, he'll foil your foolish plan."
"What plan?" The Doctor asked.
"Your evil scheme."
"Oh, yes. Would you like to hear about it?"
"I'd rather let this donkey rape you."
"Then I shall tell you." Doctor Doom said, walking as he talked. "My scientists have been developing for some time the Heeby-Jeeby-Virus, capable of turning normal tissue into a stronger more resilient type. It creates creatures of ten times the strength of ordinary men, and best of all, it removes their own capability of independent thought."
A crack of lightning made the Mighty Monkey wonder if he'll have to start endorsing NikeTM to pay for going over the budget so much.
"You mean... zombies?" Monkey asked.
"Precisely!" Dr Doom said.
The donkey that Monkey was tied to started walking away. Damnit.
----
Captain Catering stood before the giant castle. He had the Mighty Monkey's shotgun shoved into his Catering Belt, and cautiously entered the front door, which he had just unlocked.
"I'm the master of unlocking, me." CC said to himself. "But where's Barry?"
CC thought to himself, then shook his head.
----
The Mighty Monkey tried talking to the donkey as they walked down another corridor.
"Look, just stop. There's no need for this."
The donkey didn't respond, so Monkey tried wriggling to get out of the bonds. Unfortunately, it just made the ropes slip around the donkey, and Monkey slipped around to the belly of the donkey, with his head facing the rear end.
"Crap." The Mighty Monkey said, and this time, the donkey obeyed.
----
"Rarrgghhh..."
Captain Catering stopped in his tracks, looking from side to side.
"Popppp muussiiiccc" Came the voice again.
CC turned, saw the wandering zombie, with white skin looking much like polystryrene, and blew him away with the shotgun. It exploded in a shower of polystryrene snow.
"I knew we'd run out of money sooner or later."
"Assyyllluummm seeekeerrss gooo hoommmeeee" Another long and twisted voice announced.
CC turned and shot, another explosion of polystryene.
"I wonder where Monkey is." CC announced to himself.
----
In a labratory, the donkey waddled on, with a dirty Monkey swinging between his legs. The Mighty Monkey tried to avoid it.
"I hate you, stupid, damn, donkey." He said to the donkeys underside.
Monkey continued to grumble as he noticed two upside-down zombies walking towards him.
"sooaappp oppperraassss" One moaned. "reallliittyy tttvvvvv"
"Damn it." The Mighty Monkey said... and came up with an idea.
Facing the donkey's underside, he looked back and waited for the zombies to approach as the donkey waddled on slowly.
"Daaancceee musssiiiccccc"
"Nooovvaaaaaaaaassss"
Waiting for the right moment, the Mighty Monkey finally made his move.
The donkey's eyes widened, and with a squeal and an extra loud "EEEHOORRR" it lifted it's two back legs and kicked the heads off the two zombies.
Monkey hardly had time to celebrate as the donkey suddenly took off, and ran into a control panel in the lab, accidently setting off a lever labelled 'translocate'.
----
"TRANSLOCATING IN T MINUS 3 MINUTES" A cute French girl's voice said, calmly.
"Oh dear." CC said.
"You're too late, Captain Catering!" Dr Doom yelled, from a balcony. "The Heeby-Jeeby Virus is set to be launched on the island, creating an army of the damned to do my bidding!"
"I had already worked it out, Dr Doom!" CC called back. "Your foolish scheme will never work!"
"Too late, Catering!" Dr Doom yelled, holding up a shiny metal object. "As soon as I blow this whistle, my army of doom will unleash themselves and attack the residents of this park!"
Dr Doom pulled the whistle to his lips. Captain Catering started to shout "Noooooooo" in slow motion, waving his arms as if they'd do something magical, and at that moment, the donkey with Monkey attached ran through the door on the other side of the balcony...
"Run him down, donkey!" Monkey yelled.
And the donkey came to a halt, and looked over the balcony, missing Dr Doom completely.
"Damn." Monkey said.
Dr Doom, however, had caught sight of the Mighty Monkey, with donkey droppings all over his face.
"Ahha,haha hahhahaahhhHAHAHAHAHH!" Doctor Doom then suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, unable to control himself.
"NOahhahahHHAHA!" He said, laughing madly. "Can'tHAHAHHAHbreatheHhHAHAHA!"
Doctor Doom bent over, hyperventilating in laughter, unable to blow the whistle.
"Good work Mighty Monkey!" The Captain said, snatching the whistle from Dr Doom. "I'm afraid we're the whistleblowers here, Dr Doom."
Monkey, who had managed to untie himself, clean himself, and get his shotgun back, was pointing it directly at Captain Catering. "I'm warning you, no more bad jokes."
"TRANSLOCATION IN T-MINUS THIRTY SECONDS" Came the French girl's voice.
"That voice is turning me on." Mighty Monkey said.
"Where's Dr Doom?" Captain Catering exclaimed.
He had vanished.
"T-MINUS TWENTY SECONDS"
"Good grief, MM, we need to escape!"
"Why don't I use my secret and only power, CC?" The Mighty Monkey asked.
"T-MINUS FIFTEEN SECONDS."
"What's that, MM?" Captain asked.
"Why, to create a plothole, of course!" Replied the Mighty Monkey, who was now wearing a red fez.
"T-MINUS TEN, NINE..."
"But of course! Go ahead Mighty Monkey!"
The Mighty Monkey, with the cute French girl's voice in the background still counting down, pulled out a large black circular mat, placed it on the ground, and the duo jumped in.
Outside, the castle started sparking, fireworks exploding, and with a few twists and turns of the castle it finally span into a dot, before pinging and vanishing, much like in Count Duckula.
----
The Mighty Monkey wiped foam from his mouth, and walked to Captain Catering.
"Thank you CC, for the daring rescue."
"No problem, MM. I'm just worried about the Heeby-Jeeby-Virus being let loose on the public."
"It is quite disconcerting indeed, CC."
"Imagine it, Mighty Monkey. Millions of people with no mind of their own, agreeing only with what the newspapers or tv tells them. Never trying to find out the truth for their own moral judgement, but letting others decide their tastes, honours and beliefs for them. People who's only interest in music is what's forced down their throat, nonsense rubbish while the real artists that make a stand to make fantastic music go unheard of. People who would vote someone to run a country, by believing in what they have been told to be afraid of, and by believing anything that the Governing party might say."
"I don't want to imagine it, CC. I think it'd take too long to clean the mess from the tiles."
"Oh, hi Monkey! Nice to have you back!" Tim said, walking to them.
"ARGH! ZOMBIE!" Monkey said, pulling out his shotgun and blowing Tim's head off.
Monkey turned at the last moment, and seemed to be speaking to an audience.
"I drink Head and ShouldersTM. It keeps my throat dandruff free." He put his thumb up and smiled.