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"Cold Blooded Murder"

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Fri 26/03/04 at 15:19
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Yes, it's been that kind of a week, and I'm depressed, so here you go, another depressing story

The front door slammed followed by the sound of keys rattling in the bowl on the hall table.

‘Claire, I’m home love.’

He was home. Julie arose from her bed, where she had been doing here homework. She went over to the mirror and looked at herself. She was pale and had huge bags under her eyes, with her hair lying scruffily on her head. She picked up her brush and frantically brushed her hair back into place, knowing that her call would come any minute.

‘Julie darling, I’ve got something for you’, the call came up the stairs.

‘Coming daddy,’ she replied and with that she dropped her brush and sprinted down the stairs so as not to keep her dad waiting.

He was sitting there in his armchair, newspaper on his lap with a little wrapped gift, the size of a chocolate bar. As Julie entered the room he outstretched his hand with the package in it offering it to her. She took it, covering her face with a huge fake smile so as not to disappoint him.

She slowly unwrapped it to reveal a small furry black box with a little silver catch. She lifted the catch and opened the box to reveal a beautiful silver bracelet, with an engraving.

‘Lots of love, daddy xx’

Julie didn’t know what to say, she was so scared. Why was he giving this to her? Had he finally changed? Or was he just trying to make up for what he had done? She was still silently thinking when he said:

‘Don’t you like it? I can always take it back.’

‘No daddy it’s beautiful, thank you!’

And with that she leapt on him and gave him a huge hug. Whilst she was sitting on his knee, he took the bracelet and gently put it round her wrist, with the engraving showing outwards. Julie suddenly felt a rush of love for her dad, something she had not felt in a long time, and something she was sure she would not feel in a long time to come.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

After dinner Julie kissed her mum and dad and went up to her room, she had some work to finish off and was scared as to how long her dad’s good mood would last. She was right. It didn’t last long.

She closed her door behind her and sneaked into her en-suite bathroom, and pulled the cord to run on the light. She closed the door quietly and bent over the toilet. She proceeded to stick her two fingers down her throat and sure enough, out came her dinner. She did it again…and again…and for one final time, until she was sure she had got it all out. This was the effect her dad had on her, he called her fat, ugly, meaningless. Due to this, she had started making herself sick to lose the paranoia she had that her dad was right. Deep down she knew he wasn’t, but she wanted to do all she could so as not to displease him.

Sure she had tried to get help, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She would be responsible to splitting up her family. Her mum would hate her she thought, and her brother too, she simply couldn’t do it. She remembered once when she called ‘Childline’. School had an assembly on it, and she had made a mental note of the number. That night her dad had come home drunk and really turned on her and her mum, so she had called Childline later that evening. When the call was answered, she was so scared that everyone would hate her for it, she hung up straight away, without muttering a word. Since then she could never quite bring herself to try again.

All of a sudden she heard shouting; her parents were at it again. She was sure her dad started it, it was always him. She flushed the toilet, turned out the light and closed the door and walked back into her bedroom.

The argument calmed down a little and she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She gulped and pretended to get on with her homework. The footsteps got heavier and heavier, she knew what was coming next. The door flew open and in stormed her dad, obviously drunk as his walk was shaky.

‘You don’t like my present do you?’ he yelled.

‘Yes daddy it’s beautiful,’ she replied in a voice as sweet as she could make it.

‘Don’t you take that tone with me young girl,’ he screamed…

…and with that he hit her, clean across the face sending her sprawling across the room into the corner. He rounded on her, trapping her in the corner, there was no escape. He kicked her once on the side of the leg, and again in the neck/head region.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

That was the last thing Julie ever saw. The anger on her dad’s face as he killed her. Whether he meant it or not she would never know, her short life had come to an end, because of his drinking problems. B*stard.

0800 1111
Wed 07/04/04 at 00:02
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Longer - I normally find that as they get longer, I start to ramble on, thus making the story boring and a bit like 'he did this, she did that' etc.

T'was powerful. Thanks!
Tue 06/04/04 at 20:43
Regular
"Light of the world"
Posts: 4,763
That was powerful.

I like it - I think you could of made it ever so slightly longer but I liked the way you did it.

nice!
Tue 06/04/04 at 15:52
Regular
"WhaleOilBeefHooked"
Posts: 12,425
Quite depressing mate, to be honest. But still a good structure and quite powerful.

Heh I like the way you edited the end,

B*stard.

0800 1111


:D
Fri 26/03/04 at 15:19
Regular
"Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd"
Posts: 5,235
Yes, it's been that kind of a week, and I'm depressed, so here you go, another depressing story

The front door slammed followed by the sound of keys rattling in the bowl on the hall table.

‘Claire, I’m home love.’

He was home. Julie arose from her bed, where she had been doing here homework. She went over to the mirror and looked at herself. She was pale and had huge bags under her eyes, with her hair lying scruffily on her head. She picked up her brush and frantically brushed her hair back into place, knowing that her call would come any minute.

‘Julie darling, I’ve got something for you’, the call came up the stairs.

‘Coming daddy,’ she replied and with that she dropped her brush and sprinted down the stairs so as not to keep her dad waiting.

He was sitting there in his armchair, newspaper on his lap with a little wrapped gift, the size of a chocolate bar. As Julie entered the room he outstretched his hand with the package in it offering it to her. She took it, covering her face with a huge fake smile so as not to disappoint him.

She slowly unwrapped it to reveal a small furry black box with a little silver catch. She lifted the catch and opened the box to reveal a beautiful silver bracelet, with an engraving.

‘Lots of love, daddy xx’

Julie didn’t know what to say, she was so scared. Why was he giving this to her? Had he finally changed? Or was he just trying to make up for what he had done? She was still silently thinking when he said:

‘Don’t you like it? I can always take it back.’

‘No daddy it’s beautiful, thank you!’

And with that she leapt on him and gave him a huge hug. Whilst she was sitting on his knee, he took the bracelet and gently put it round her wrist, with the engraving showing outwards. Julie suddenly felt a rush of love for her dad, something she had not felt in a long time, and something she was sure she would not feel in a long time to come.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

After dinner Julie kissed her mum and dad and went up to her room, she had some work to finish off and was scared as to how long her dad’s good mood would last. She was right. It didn’t last long.

She closed her door behind her and sneaked into her en-suite bathroom, and pulled the cord to run on the light. She closed the door quietly and bent over the toilet. She proceeded to stick her two fingers down her throat and sure enough, out came her dinner. She did it again…and again…and for one final time, until she was sure she had got it all out. This was the effect her dad had on her, he called her fat, ugly, meaningless. Due to this, she had started making herself sick to lose the paranoia she had that her dad was right. Deep down she knew he wasn’t, but she wanted to do all she could so as not to displease him.

Sure she had tried to get help, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She would be responsible to splitting up her family. Her mum would hate her she thought, and her brother too, she simply couldn’t do it. She remembered once when she called ‘Childline’. School had an assembly on it, and she had made a mental note of the number. That night her dad had come home drunk and really turned on her and her mum, so she had called Childline later that evening. When the call was answered, she was so scared that everyone would hate her for it, she hung up straight away, without muttering a word. Since then she could never quite bring herself to try again.

All of a sudden she heard shouting; her parents were at it again. She was sure her dad started it, it was always him. She flushed the toilet, turned out the light and closed the door and walked back into her bedroom.

The argument calmed down a little and she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She gulped and pretended to get on with her homework. The footsteps got heavier and heavier, she knew what was coming next. The door flew open and in stormed her dad, obviously drunk as his walk was shaky.

‘You don’t like my present do you?’ he yelled.

‘Yes daddy it’s beautiful,’ she replied in a voice as sweet as she could make it.

‘Don’t you take that tone with me young girl,’ he screamed…

…and with that he hit her, clean across the face sending her sprawling across the room into the corner. He rounded on her, trapping her in the corner, there was no escape. He kicked her once on the side of the leg, and again in the neck/head region.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

That was the last thing Julie ever saw. The anger on her dad’s face as he killed her. Whether he meant it or not she would never know, her short life had come to an end, because of his drinking problems. B*stard.

0800 1111

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