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Yes I've read the recent article about how to murder someone with an XBOX so being a hardcore Nintendo fan and a Gamecube owner I decided to change the story slightly.
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about Halo 2, Deus Ex 2, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. Your XBOX lies next to bed gathering dust. You threaten the evil fool with 'Your mother is so fat jokes' and slowly place your hand on the console. You begin to pick it up. But you can't. You pull harder. The murderer looks at you with a slightly baffeled expression. You strain like mad. Problem is the god damn thing is to heavy to pick up, just like the god damn heavy, rather large yanks that made it. You think 'Why did Bill Gates make such a god damn big console. Why couldn't he stick with the memory card? Then it occurs to you that Bill Gates doesn't need an XBOX for protection, he's got a few SAS soldiers for protection in his 1 billion dollar mansion. You strain so hard to pick the flamin' thing up you pull every muscle in your arms and crumple your bones. You fall to the floor, screamin in agony. You look up. Where's he gone? Then you notice a big gap in your games shelf. Crap he's taken Halo!
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about GT4, Final Fantasy X-2, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. You're PS2 lies next to your bed gathering dust. You threaten the evil fool with the old 'I've got an airgun in my wardrobe' cry and clasp your hands around the console. You lift it in the air, poised high above you. The murderer gulps, and using all your might you fling the thing at his face. Whack! But hang on, why isn't he knocked out? What's going on here? Turns out the hollow piece of plastic got too many god damn holes in it. The murderer looks up, slightly off blanced and kicks you in the nuts in a cunning counter attack. THE PAIN!!!!!!!!! You sqweel like a little pig and roll on the bed in unbearable pain. After two hours of pure hell you look up. Hang on, where's Vice City?
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about Resi 4, Nintendo DS, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. You're GAMECUBE lies next to the bed rather hot from that 10 hour romp on Double Dash!! You grab the purple beast by the HANDLE and smile at the terrified fool. He starts to cry! You snigger and scream at him like a constupated seagull. Then you swin the Cube round and round and WALLOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fool falls to the floor like a scud missile. Semi-consious and moaning from the burns the hot Gamecube gave him, you pick up the WAVEBIRD. Yes, no wire to get in the way! You take aim and WHAM!!! the little bird smacks him in the head. He slowly crawls towards the open window, attempting an unlikely escape. So to finish him off you pick up your GBA!!! Yes connectivity is a rather cool thing. He looks at you and in his eyes you can tell he's sayin 'PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HIT ME' but you're thinking 'Nah! This little fool tried to nab me 'Cube!' You again take aim, and the consequences are rather gruesome. Then, in true Splinter Cell style you pick him up and hid him in the shadows so that your visibility meter reads zero. Mission accomplished! You then climb back into bed and finish your Resi 4 dream.
And there we are. I rest my case. Not that I do actually murder people with Gamecubes as that would be a waste of a cube, but I needed to counter attack the XBOX version because Nintendo rules. Now all we need is a PS2 version!
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about Halo 2, Deus Ex 2, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. Your XBOX lies next to bed gathering dust. You threaten the evil fool with 'Your mother is so fat jokes' and slowly place your hand on the console. You begin to pick it up. But you can't. You pull harder. The murderer looks at you with a slightly baffeled expression. You strain like mad. Problem is the god damn thing is to heavy to pick up, just like the god damn heavy, rather large yanks that made it. You think 'Why did Bill Gates make such a god damn big console. Why couldn't he stick with the memory card? Then it occurs to you that Bill Gates doesn't need an XBOX for protection, he's got a few SAS soldiers for protection in his 1 billion dollar mansion. You strain so hard to pick the flamin' thing up you pull every muscle in your arms and crumple your bones. You fall to the floor, screamin in agony. You look up. Where's he gone? Then you notice a big gap in your games shelf. Crap he's taken Halo!
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about GT4, Final Fantasy X-2, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. You're PS2 lies next to your bed gathering dust. You threaten the evil fool with the old 'I've got an airgun in my wardrobe' cry and clasp your hands around the console. You lift it in the air, poised high above you. The murderer gulps, and using all your might you fling the thing at his face. Whack! But hang on, why isn't he knocked out? What's going on here? Turns out the hollow piece of plastic got too many god damn holes in it. The murderer looks up, slightly off blanced and kicks you in the nuts in a cunning counter attack. THE PAIN!!!!!!!!! You sqweel like a little pig and roll on the bed in unbearable pain. After two hours of pure hell you look up. Hang on, where's Vice City?
It's 12 at night. Your lying peacefully in bed dreaming about Resi 4, Nintendo DS, Jalo in leather hot.... wait a sec! What's that noise? Suddenly you find yourself staring a mass murderer in the face armed with a rather sharp mango. You panic, what do you do? Then it strikes you. You're GAMECUBE lies next to the bed rather hot from that 10 hour romp on Double Dash!! You grab the purple beast by the HANDLE and smile at the terrified fool. He starts to cry! You snigger and scream at him like a constupated seagull. Then you swin the Cube round and round and WALLOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fool falls to the floor like a scud missile. Semi-consious and moaning from the burns the hot Gamecube gave him, you pick up the WAVEBIRD. Yes, no wire to get in the way! You take aim and WHAM!!! the little bird smacks him in the head. He slowly crawls towards the open window, attempting an unlikely escape. So to finish him off you pick up your GBA!!! Yes connectivity is a rather cool thing. He looks at you and in his eyes you can tell he's sayin 'PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HIT ME' but you're thinking 'Nah! This little fool tried to nab me 'Cube!' You again take aim, and the consequences are rather gruesome. Then, in true Splinter Cell style you pick him up and hid him in the shadows so that your visibility meter reads zero. Mission accomplished! You then climb back into bed and finish your Resi 4 dream.
And there we are. I rest my case. Not that I do actually murder people with Gamecubes as that would be a waste of a cube, but I needed to counter attack the XBOX version because Nintendo rules. Now all we need is a PS2 version!
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FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> cookie monster wrote:
> Well Johnson.
>
> That was...absolute shitewash...
heh heh heh
quality!!
> cookie monster wrote:
> Well Johnson.
>
> That was...absolute shitewash...
heh heh heh
quality!!
TGMbloke wrote:
> My one was better. I dont see CVG printing yours.
correct. Hence how you won a gad for it.
> My one was better. I dont see CVG printing yours.
correct. Hence how you won a gad for it.
Without reading the thread.
I imagine you could kill someone by beating them in the face with the gamecube.
I imagine you could kill someone by beating them in the face with the gamecube.
Nope.
Do you own an XBOX then FFF?
You are many things.
Among them:
Fapface.
Cockshag.
Dickscrub.
Squatarse
Bumshank
But not good.
Among them:
Fapface.
Cockshag.
Dickscrub.
Squatarse
Bumshank
But not good.
Lol. I know i am good
Only you do that.
He makes your Johnson weep?
Johnson, you make me weep. The bad kind of weeping.
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