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This is a story I wrote for my english teacher for a test. Got an A. I thought I'd post it here.
Tom was in the changing room, with his team-mates. They were getting ready, putting on shorts, socks, helmets and boots. He was eagerly anticipating the match to come. He had been up early that morning, sorting out his gear and making sure he wouldn’t be hungry or tired for the final. He had to make himself eat his breakfast of porridge, but his butterflys protested loudly from his stomach. His Mam brought him to the field, and he tried to relax along the way but couldn’t. He hoped he would play well, and not let his team down. It was a surprise that they were in a final at all, just scraping a victory in the semi-finals. They had already lost the semi-final in the league, but hoped to win the B final in the tournament.
They arrived at the field, in Ballymore football pitch, and he met his friends, Gary, Jack, and Billy among them. The waited for awhile, chatting about whether they thought they would win and how good the opposition was. Soon the bus arrived, and the filed on, trying to get back seats. This conversation continued all the way to Grange G.A.A grounds, where the final would take place.
When they were togged out, and almost ready, Paul Byrne came in and gave the team talk. He told them it was a great honour for them, to be representing their club and their town. He told them they were well capable of winning this, if they tried their best and worked hard. Then he wrapped it up, and John came in to line out the team.
Tom would be playing in mid-field with Gary. Tom liked that.
Then John said he knew that they were all wondering who the captain would be. Tom was focusing on the game, and not really listening when suddenly he felt a clap on his back. He never heard John when he said he would be captain. He was trying to take in this news, when a few lads called “Well done Tom!”
It was a very proud moment for Tom when he led his team out on the field. It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end of the game.
It was the best day of his life.
Tom was in the changing room, with his team-mates. They were getting ready, putting on shorts, socks, helmets and boots. He was eagerly anticipating the match to come. He had been up early that morning, sorting out his gear and making sure he wouldn’t be hungry or tired for the final. He had to make himself eat his breakfast of porridge, but his butterflys protested loudly from his stomach. His Mam brought him to the field, and he tried to relax along the way but couldn’t. He hoped he would play well, and not let his team down. It was a surprise that they were in a final at all, just scraping a victory in the semi-finals. They had already lost the semi-final in the league, but hoped to win the B final in the tournament.
They arrived at the field, in Ballymore football pitch, and he met his friends, Gary, Jack, and Billy among them. The waited for awhile, chatting about whether they thought they would win and how good the opposition was. Soon the bus arrived, and the filed on, trying to get back seats. This conversation continued all the way to Grange G.A.A grounds, where the final would take place.
When they were togged out, and almost ready, Paul Byrne came in and gave the team talk. He told them it was a great honour for them, to be representing their club and their town. He told them they were well capable of winning this, if they tried their best and worked hard. Then he wrapped it up, and John came in to line out the team.
Tom would be playing in mid-field with Gary. Tom liked that.
Then John said he knew that they were all wondering who the captain would be. Tom was focusing on the game, and not really listening when suddenly he felt a clap on his back. He never heard John when he said he would be captain. He was trying to take in this news, when a few lads called “Well done Tom!”
It was a very proud moment for Tom when he led his team out on the field. It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end of the game.
It was the best day of his life.
Oh, right :)
Well that was actually because I had to keep it to one page, and if I typed anymore it went on to a second one.:S
Brilliant story Snake. I think you could have added a bit more around:
Scary Snake wrote:
> It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end
> of the game.
It's because you build it all up, then cut straight through the match. It's also because I got told to do something similar in a story that I'm working on, and will post when it's completed.
Scary Snake wrote:
> It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end
> of the game.
It's because you build it all up, then cut straight through the match. It's also because I got told to do something similar in a story that I'm working on, and will post when it's completed.
This is a story I wrote for my english teacher for a test. Got an A. I thought I'd post it here.
Tom was in the changing room, with his team-mates. They were getting ready, putting on shorts, socks, helmets and boots. He was eagerly anticipating the match to come. He had been up early that morning, sorting out his gear and making sure he wouldn’t be hungry or tired for the final. He had to make himself eat his breakfast of porridge, but his butterflys protested loudly from his stomach. His Mam brought him to the field, and he tried to relax along the way but couldn’t. He hoped he would play well, and not let his team down. It was a surprise that they were in a final at all, just scraping a victory in the semi-finals. They had already lost the semi-final in the league, but hoped to win the B final in the tournament.
They arrived at the field, in Ballymore football pitch, and he met his friends, Gary, Jack, and Billy among them. The waited for awhile, chatting about whether they thought they would win and how good the opposition was. Soon the bus arrived, and the filed on, trying to get back seats. This conversation continued all the way to Grange G.A.A grounds, where the final would take place.
When they were togged out, and almost ready, Paul Byrne came in and gave the team talk. He told them it was a great honour for them, to be representing their club and their town. He told them they were well capable of winning this, if they tried their best and worked hard. Then he wrapped it up, and John came in to line out the team.
Tom would be playing in mid-field with Gary. Tom liked that.
Then John said he knew that they were all wondering who the captain would be. Tom was focusing on the game, and not really listening when suddenly he felt a clap on his back. He never heard John when he said he would be captain. He was trying to take in this news, when a few lads called “Well done Tom!”
It was a very proud moment for Tom when he led his team out on the field. It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end of the game.
It was the best day of his life.
Tom was in the changing room, with his team-mates. They were getting ready, putting on shorts, socks, helmets and boots. He was eagerly anticipating the match to come. He had been up early that morning, sorting out his gear and making sure he wouldn’t be hungry or tired for the final. He had to make himself eat his breakfast of porridge, but his butterflys protested loudly from his stomach. His Mam brought him to the field, and he tried to relax along the way but couldn’t. He hoped he would play well, and not let his team down. It was a surprise that they were in a final at all, just scraping a victory in the semi-finals. They had already lost the semi-final in the league, but hoped to win the B final in the tournament.
They arrived at the field, in Ballymore football pitch, and he met his friends, Gary, Jack, and Billy among them. The waited for awhile, chatting about whether they thought they would win and how good the opposition was. Soon the bus arrived, and the filed on, trying to get back seats. This conversation continued all the way to Grange G.A.A grounds, where the final would take place.
When they were togged out, and almost ready, Paul Byrne came in and gave the team talk. He told them it was a great honour for them, to be representing their club and their town. He told them they were well capable of winning this, if they tried their best and worked hard. Then he wrapped it up, and John came in to line out the team.
Tom would be playing in mid-field with Gary. Tom liked that.
Then John said he knew that they were all wondering who the captain would be. Tom was focusing on the game, and not really listening when suddenly he felt a clap on his back. He never heard John when he said he would be captain. He was trying to take in this news, when a few lads called “Well done Tom!”
It was a very proud moment for Tom when he led his team out on the field. It was an even prouder moment when he raised the cup at the end of the game.
It was the best day of his life.