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With dozens of heartbroken fans still reeling from the devastating news that the chubby one will be leaving Irish pop boyband sensations Westlife to spend more time with his dimwit wife, the fat-cats in control of the group have already moved to quell fears that the successful group would be splitting entirely.
Towards the end of the much-anticipated press conference held by the group, one of the management team behind the band, Paddy O’Donnell, declared, “As we know, when an integral member of any group leaves, the group is never the same again. Take the Spice Girls when Geri left, Take That weren’t the same when little Robbie cleared off, and S-Club just didn’t work when their numbers were cut from seven to six. Fragmenting a successful pop group is like finding a 4-leafed clover, only then for one of the leaves to be cut off it.”
O’Donnell later added, “So, as to avert our successful cash-cow from dying off, we’ve taken steps to re-invigorate the group, and find a brand new member…a leprechaun.”
The person behind the leprechaun scheme is the head of General Mills, the company behind the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal, a product that uses a cheeky Irish leprechaun in its packaging and promotion. A spokesman for the company denied it was a large publicity stunt for their cereal product, saying, “Lucky Charms, America’s favourite toasted oat cereal with yummy marshmallow pieces, are a very popular product with the American people, but Westlife aren’t quite a well-known over there. This is a mutually beneficial deal; Westlife will make it even bigger in the US by having our lucky leprechaun in their group, and we’ll release the Lucky Charms cereal in the UK again with Westlife helping to promote the product for huge commercial gain for us.”
A question then came from the press corps about who the lucky leprechaun would actually be, a real person or a CG substitute.
Paddy O’Donnell took the question, saying, “We thought long and hard about the practicalities about using a CG leprechaun, but it just wouldn’t be viable in live appearances like autograph signings, television appearances and concert stage work, so we chose to use a real person.”
He then added, “What we have proposed is really rather simple; we are looking for a leprechaun, but we know such things don’t exist in the real world, only in myths and on cereal packets for extremely popular and healthy cereal products, so we need to recruit a small man for the job, a dwarf if you will.”
Another question came from the press, “How will you choose this dwarf? Do you already have a famous dwarf in mind? Kenny Baker, Warwick Davis, er or any other famous dwarf. One of the Ginsters people perhaps?”
Mr. O’Donnell added, “Well as we know, not all dwarves are blessed with good looks and a hunky physique like the Westlife lads, but we know they’re out there, so we just have to find them. To do this, we’ll be having open auditions for any small man, preferably in his early twenties, to come along to prove to an ensemble of band managers and General Mills hench-people that they are the right short person to make Westlife great again. A kind of Pop Idol for dwarves, "Dwarf Idol" if you will.”
There are fairly strict criteria the winning applicant needs to have; being Irish would be a big factor, and ideally he would be able to play an instrument and have a good singing voice, but as with any manufactured boyband, these qualities aren’t essential. A ginger beard would be a bonus, but one can always stuck on or hair dye used. A penchant for green clothing is mandatory.
Westlife didn’t comment on the dwarf move, but later released a statement saying, “Although it’s a strange move to dress a dwarf up like a leprechaun and put him in a serious pop group, we know it’s for the good of the group, and if the management want to do it, it’s their right, they own us and can do whatever they want with the group. We love Lucky Charms, whenever we’re on tour in the US we always enjoy eating them in the morning to give us all the required energy, vitamins and minerals needed for a hectic and strenuous day in the lives of pop stars. Bryan loved them a bit too much, which is why he’s overweight.”
Screaming, snivelling adolescent fans outside the press conference in Dublin had mixed opinions about the scheme, with one fan stopping crying for a few seconds to say, “Throughout my teenage years, Westlife have been like the five hunky Irish brothers I never had, so replacing one of those beefcake brothers with a midget with a ginger beard may take some getting used to. But whatever happens, I’ll still blindly buy every record they release, and if it means the group won’t split up, then that’s OK with me.”
With the Westlife lads due to embark on a huge tour soon, the need for the new member was rather urgent. The first Westlife Dwarf Idol heats were arranged to take place only hours after the press conference, and though there was very short notice, they proved popular.
Contestant number 85, Brendan O’Shea, pictured [URL]http://www.nd.edu/~afrotc/photos/Football%20Games/Fa01/dancin'leprechaun.jpg[/URL] was the top contender in front of a massive crowd at Landsdowne Road stadium.
Should he win the whole contest as many experts have predicted, he’ll be looking forward to a glamorous and busy life as an international pop star as part of Westlife.
Towards the end of the much-anticipated press conference held by the group, one of the management team behind the band, Paddy O’Donnell, declared, “As we know, when an integral member of any group leaves, the group is never the same again. Take the Spice Girls when Geri left, Take That weren’t the same when little Robbie cleared off, and S-Club just didn’t work when their numbers were cut from seven to six. Fragmenting a successful pop group is like finding a 4-leafed clover, only then for one of the leaves to be cut off it.”
O’Donnell later added, “So, as to avert our successful cash-cow from dying off, we’ve taken steps to re-invigorate the group, and find a brand new member…a leprechaun.”
The person behind the leprechaun scheme is the head of General Mills, the company behind the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal, a product that uses a cheeky Irish leprechaun in its packaging and promotion. A spokesman for the company denied it was a large publicity stunt for their cereal product, saying, “Lucky Charms, America’s favourite toasted oat cereal with yummy marshmallow pieces, are a very popular product with the American people, but Westlife aren’t quite a well-known over there. This is a mutually beneficial deal; Westlife will make it even bigger in the US by having our lucky leprechaun in their group, and we’ll release the Lucky Charms cereal in the UK again with Westlife helping to promote the product for huge commercial gain for us.”
A question then came from the press corps about who the lucky leprechaun would actually be, a real person or a CG substitute.
Paddy O’Donnell took the question, saying, “We thought long and hard about the practicalities about using a CG leprechaun, but it just wouldn’t be viable in live appearances like autograph signings, television appearances and concert stage work, so we chose to use a real person.”
He then added, “What we have proposed is really rather simple; we are looking for a leprechaun, but we know such things don’t exist in the real world, only in myths and on cereal packets for extremely popular and healthy cereal products, so we need to recruit a small man for the job, a dwarf if you will.”
Another question came from the press, “How will you choose this dwarf? Do you already have a famous dwarf in mind? Kenny Baker, Warwick Davis, er or any other famous dwarf. One of the Ginsters people perhaps?”
Mr. O’Donnell added, “Well as we know, not all dwarves are blessed with good looks and a hunky physique like the Westlife lads, but we know they’re out there, so we just have to find them. To do this, we’ll be having open auditions for any small man, preferably in his early twenties, to come along to prove to an ensemble of band managers and General Mills hench-people that they are the right short person to make Westlife great again. A kind of Pop Idol for dwarves, "Dwarf Idol" if you will.”
There are fairly strict criteria the winning applicant needs to have; being Irish would be a big factor, and ideally he would be able to play an instrument and have a good singing voice, but as with any manufactured boyband, these qualities aren’t essential. A ginger beard would be a bonus, but one can always stuck on or hair dye used. A penchant for green clothing is mandatory.
Westlife didn’t comment on the dwarf move, but later released a statement saying, “Although it’s a strange move to dress a dwarf up like a leprechaun and put him in a serious pop group, we know it’s for the good of the group, and if the management want to do it, it’s their right, they own us and can do whatever they want with the group. We love Lucky Charms, whenever we’re on tour in the US we always enjoy eating them in the morning to give us all the required energy, vitamins and minerals needed for a hectic and strenuous day in the lives of pop stars. Bryan loved them a bit too much, which is why he’s overweight.”
Screaming, snivelling adolescent fans outside the press conference in Dublin had mixed opinions about the scheme, with one fan stopping crying for a few seconds to say, “Throughout my teenage years, Westlife have been like the five hunky Irish brothers I never had, so replacing one of those beefcake brothers with a midget with a ginger beard may take some getting used to. But whatever happens, I’ll still blindly buy every record they release, and if it means the group won’t split up, then that’s OK with me.”
With the Westlife lads due to embark on a huge tour soon, the need for the new member was rather urgent. The first Westlife Dwarf Idol heats were arranged to take place only hours after the press conference, and though there was very short notice, they proved popular.
Contestant number 85, Brendan O’Shea, pictured [URL]http://www.nd.edu/~afrotc/photos/Football%20Games/Fa01/dancin'leprechaun.jpg[/URL] was the top contender in front of a massive crowd at Landsdowne Road stadium.
Should he win the whole contest as many experts have predicted, he’ll be looking forward to a glamorous and busy life as an international pop star as part of Westlife.
monkey_man wrote:
> I'd say he was more "piggy" than "chubby".
>
>
>
> Actually, he's both.
Or you could jst say hes a fat basta!d and its all good.
> I'd say he was more "piggy" than "chubby".
>
>
>
> Actually, he's both.
Or you could jst say hes a fat basta!d and its all good.
My god you spent all that time doing that?
i was aware of the press conference yesterday, but had forgotten about it until i turned on my pc and saw the headline
westlife to split
at which point a big smile spread across my face,i was imagining all those girls crying, it was a great feeling,"finally they are gone" that was until i saw a question mark after the headline.
but i suppose it's a sign that the end is nigh.
westlife to split
at which point a big smile spread across my face,i was imagining all those girls crying, it was a great feeling,"finally they are gone" that was until i saw a question mark after the headline.
but i suppose it's a sign that the end is nigh.
I'd say he was more "piggy" than "chubby".
Actually, he's both.
Actually, he's both.
Very funny!
And to think I was going to avoid this thread think it was seriously about Westlife...
Nice one!
And to think I was going to avoid this thread think it was seriously about Westlife...
Nice one!
With dozens of heartbroken fans still reeling from the devastating news that the chubby one will be leaving Irish pop boyband sensations Westlife to spend more time with his dimwit wife, the fat-cats in control of the group have already moved to quell fears that the successful group would be splitting entirely.
Towards the end of the much-anticipated press conference held by the group, one of the management team behind the band, Paddy O’Donnell, declared, “As we know, when an integral member of any group leaves, the group is never the same again. Take the Spice Girls when Geri left, Take That weren’t the same when little Robbie cleared off, and S-Club just didn’t work when their numbers were cut from seven to six. Fragmenting a successful pop group is like finding a 4-leafed clover, only then for one of the leaves to be cut off it.”
O’Donnell later added, “So, as to avert our successful cash-cow from dying off, we’ve taken steps to re-invigorate the group, and find a brand new member…a leprechaun.”
The person behind the leprechaun scheme is the head of General Mills, the company behind the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal, a product that uses a cheeky Irish leprechaun in its packaging and promotion. A spokesman for the company denied it was a large publicity stunt for their cereal product, saying, “Lucky Charms, America’s favourite toasted oat cereal with yummy marshmallow pieces, are a very popular product with the American people, but Westlife aren’t quite a well-known over there. This is a mutually beneficial deal; Westlife will make it even bigger in the US by having our lucky leprechaun in their group, and we’ll release the Lucky Charms cereal in the UK again with Westlife helping to promote the product for huge commercial gain for us.”
A question then came from the press corps about who the lucky leprechaun would actually be, a real person or a CG substitute.
Paddy O’Donnell took the question, saying, “We thought long and hard about the practicalities about using a CG leprechaun, but it just wouldn’t be viable in live appearances like autograph signings, television appearances and concert stage work, so we chose to use a real person.”
He then added, “What we have proposed is really rather simple; we are looking for a leprechaun, but we know such things don’t exist in the real world, only in myths and on cereal packets for extremely popular and healthy cereal products, so we need to recruit a small man for the job, a dwarf if you will.”
Another question came from the press, “How will you choose this dwarf? Do you already have a famous dwarf in mind? Kenny Baker, Warwick Davis, er or any other famous dwarf. One of the Ginsters people perhaps?”
Mr. O’Donnell added, “Well as we know, not all dwarves are blessed with good looks and a hunky physique like the Westlife lads, but we know they’re out there, so we just have to find them. To do this, we’ll be having open auditions for any small man, preferably in his early twenties, to come along to prove to an ensemble of band managers and General Mills hench-people that they are the right short person to make Westlife great again. A kind of Pop Idol for dwarves, "Dwarf Idol" if you will.”
There are fairly strict criteria the winning applicant needs to have; being Irish would be a big factor, and ideally he would be able to play an instrument and have a good singing voice, but as with any manufactured boyband, these qualities aren’t essential. A ginger beard would be a bonus, but one can always stuck on or hair dye used. A penchant for green clothing is mandatory.
Westlife didn’t comment on the dwarf move, but later released a statement saying, “Although it’s a strange move to dress a dwarf up like a leprechaun and put him in a serious pop group, we know it’s for the good of the group, and if the management want to do it, it’s their right, they own us and can do whatever they want with the group. We love Lucky Charms, whenever we’re on tour in the US we always enjoy eating them in the morning to give us all the required energy, vitamins and minerals needed for a hectic and strenuous day in the lives of pop stars. Bryan loved them a bit too much, which is why he’s overweight.”
Screaming, snivelling adolescent fans outside the press conference in Dublin had mixed opinions about the scheme, with one fan stopping crying for a few seconds to say, “Throughout my teenage years, Westlife have been like the five hunky Irish brothers I never had, so replacing one of those beefcake brothers with a midget with a ginger beard may take some getting used to. But whatever happens, I’ll still blindly buy every record they release, and if it means the group won’t split up, then that’s OK with me.”
With the Westlife lads due to embark on a huge tour soon, the need for the new member was rather urgent. The first Westlife Dwarf Idol heats were arranged to take place only hours after the press conference, and though there was very short notice, they proved popular.
Contestant number 85, Brendan O’Shea, pictured [URL]http://www.nd.edu/~afrotc/photos/Football%20Games/Fa01/dancin'leprechaun.jpg[/URL] was the top contender in front of a massive crowd at Landsdowne Road stadium.
Should he win the whole contest as many experts have predicted, he’ll be looking forward to a glamorous and busy life as an international pop star as part of Westlife.
Towards the end of the much-anticipated press conference held by the group, one of the management team behind the band, Paddy O’Donnell, declared, “As we know, when an integral member of any group leaves, the group is never the same again. Take the Spice Girls when Geri left, Take That weren’t the same when little Robbie cleared off, and S-Club just didn’t work when their numbers were cut from seven to six. Fragmenting a successful pop group is like finding a 4-leafed clover, only then for one of the leaves to be cut off it.”
O’Donnell later added, “So, as to avert our successful cash-cow from dying off, we’ve taken steps to re-invigorate the group, and find a brand new member…a leprechaun.”
The person behind the leprechaun scheme is the head of General Mills, the company behind the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal, a product that uses a cheeky Irish leprechaun in its packaging and promotion. A spokesman for the company denied it was a large publicity stunt for their cereal product, saying, “Lucky Charms, America’s favourite toasted oat cereal with yummy marshmallow pieces, are a very popular product with the American people, but Westlife aren’t quite a well-known over there. This is a mutually beneficial deal; Westlife will make it even bigger in the US by having our lucky leprechaun in their group, and we’ll release the Lucky Charms cereal in the UK again with Westlife helping to promote the product for huge commercial gain for us.”
A question then came from the press corps about who the lucky leprechaun would actually be, a real person or a CG substitute.
Paddy O’Donnell took the question, saying, “We thought long and hard about the practicalities about using a CG leprechaun, but it just wouldn’t be viable in live appearances like autograph signings, television appearances and concert stage work, so we chose to use a real person.”
He then added, “What we have proposed is really rather simple; we are looking for a leprechaun, but we know such things don’t exist in the real world, only in myths and on cereal packets for extremely popular and healthy cereal products, so we need to recruit a small man for the job, a dwarf if you will.”
Another question came from the press, “How will you choose this dwarf? Do you already have a famous dwarf in mind? Kenny Baker, Warwick Davis, er or any other famous dwarf. One of the Ginsters people perhaps?”
Mr. O’Donnell added, “Well as we know, not all dwarves are blessed with good looks and a hunky physique like the Westlife lads, but we know they’re out there, so we just have to find them. To do this, we’ll be having open auditions for any small man, preferably in his early twenties, to come along to prove to an ensemble of band managers and General Mills hench-people that they are the right short person to make Westlife great again. A kind of Pop Idol for dwarves, "Dwarf Idol" if you will.”
There are fairly strict criteria the winning applicant needs to have; being Irish would be a big factor, and ideally he would be able to play an instrument and have a good singing voice, but as with any manufactured boyband, these qualities aren’t essential. A ginger beard would be a bonus, but one can always stuck on or hair dye used. A penchant for green clothing is mandatory.
Westlife didn’t comment on the dwarf move, but later released a statement saying, “Although it’s a strange move to dress a dwarf up like a leprechaun and put him in a serious pop group, we know it’s for the good of the group, and if the management want to do it, it’s their right, they own us and can do whatever they want with the group. We love Lucky Charms, whenever we’re on tour in the US we always enjoy eating them in the morning to give us all the required energy, vitamins and minerals needed for a hectic and strenuous day in the lives of pop stars. Bryan loved them a bit too much, which is why he’s overweight.”
Screaming, snivelling adolescent fans outside the press conference in Dublin had mixed opinions about the scheme, with one fan stopping crying for a few seconds to say, “Throughout my teenage years, Westlife have been like the five hunky Irish brothers I never had, so replacing one of those beefcake brothers with a midget with a ginger beard may take some getting used to. But whatever happens, I’ll still blindly buy every record they release, and if it means the group won’t split up, then that’s OK with me.”
With the Westlife lads due to embark on a huge tour soon, the need for the new member was rather urgent. The first Westlife Dwarf Idol heats were arranged to take place only hours after the press conference, and though there was very short notice, they proved popular.
Contestant number 85, Brendan O’Shea, pictured [URL]http://www.nd.edu/~afrotc/photos/Football%20Games/Fa01/dancin'leprechaun.jpg[/URL] was the top contender in front of a massive crowd at Landsdowne Road stadium.
Should he win the whole contest as many experts have predicted, he’ll be looking forward to a glamorous and busy life as an international pop star as part of Westlife.