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Spastic Ninjas II – The quest for Gordon’s mitten.
If you're likely to be offended please don't read any more.
Mickey Gathered Warren and Gordon around him in the Spastic Ninjas clubhouse, now an overturned medicine trolley with a sheet pulled over it, and informed them of the cunning plan he had hatched to get Gordon’s mitten back. The premise was to use Warren’s jumper to slingshot a small army of midgets into the police station where he believed the mitten was being held in an evidence locker, perhaps in shrink wrap, perhaps not.
The gangly trio had to find a way to escape the confines of the wretched day care centre, again! Instead of resorting to the methods that were successful last time, they chose a different method, involving rubber bands, paper clips and half a pint of dribble. Led by Mickey’s brave command the spastic ninjas charged at the day care nurses, flicking rubber bands and hurling paper clips, and made for the exit. The guard dogs were set upon they were also handicapped and ended up humping each other on the lawn in true doggy style.
Away from their incarceration the spastic ninjas took to the streets in style. Warren took a leak on a lamppost to show other spastic ninjas this was THEIR territory, Mickey stuck his favourite Digimon stickers on road signs to rebel against the powers that be, and Gordon fell over the curb and grazed his knee – but luckily Mickey had some colourful Disney themed plasters. After applying a Donald Duck to his bloodied knee, Gordon was right as rain – really retarded rain.
As none of the ninjas knew where the police station was, despite getting directions from several passers by, a map and a taxi to the main entrance, the spastic ninjas decided to launch a flare to mark their location in hope that other ninjas would come to their rescue. Instead it alerted police inside the station who rushed out and knocked them, gurning and squealing, to the floor, cuffed them, and took them to the cells. “So far, so good” Mickey said mongfully.
In the small cold cells soaked with urine and semen (mostly Warren’s) the spastic ninjas formulated a plot so stupid it would take a drunken 8-year-old kid on crack to understand the logic behind it. The plan was for Gordon to dislocate his jaw and pick the lock with the shattered bone fragments and use it as a boomerang to take out the guards on duty. However when Gordon got his fist stuck in his mouth they decided to use the other, totally open door, to escape from.
The ninja posse moved out awkwardly into the corridor to demand Gordon’s mitten back. The group moved with stealth, style and skill – until Warren began clawing at the vending machine, trying desperately to forage for Dr Pepper and Mars Bars. Again the police were alerted of the spastic ninjas presence, and came spiriting towards the group to hinder their escape. However they skidded and slipped in a pool of Mickey’s dribble and went crashing into a conveniently nearby cupboard filled with hundreds of loaded handguns – killing them instantly.
The search for Gordon’s mitten around the police station began. Warren, an avid fan of action movies, went rummaging though the ventilation system getting his fat ass stuck and requiring 15 tubs of extra strength Vaseline to free him. Gordon went to the toilets, perhaps to check for the glove, perhaps to wipe his name in bum gravy all over the walls. Mickey took the insightful angle and checked through all of the evidence lockers, eventually coming across a urine soaked glove. It was Gordon’s!
With the sodden mitten firmly on Gordon’s hand (and sewn into his jacket to avoid from losing it again) the spastic ninjas set off on their way home, walking picturesquely into what they thought was the sunset. However it wasn’t really the sunset, it was a giant mural on the side of a building advertising Caribbean Twist, and all three of them walked into it, one after the other, and fell to the floor. They pondered why the sunset had suddenly gone solid and was obstructing the way home to their beloved day care centre. Summer came and went and a cold bitter winter set in before Mickey finally deduced it was a wall and they would indeed have to walk around.
They arrived back at the day care centre, doused in water, urine and petrol (Warren thought it was cider) and trudged back to their den underneath the overturned medical trolley with a sheet pulled over it. They got dosed up on pills and as they began to loose all feeling in their faces they plotted their next wacky retarded outing.
If you're likely to be offended please don't read any more.
Mickey Gathered Warren and Gordon around him in the Spastic Ninjas clubhouse, now an overturned medicine trolley with a sheet pulled over it, and informed them of the cunning plan he had hatched to get Gordon’s mitten back. The premise was to use Warren’s jumper to slingshot a small army of midgets into the police station where he believed the mitten was being held in an evidence locker, perhaps in shrink wrap, perhaps not.
The gangly trio had to find a way to escape the confines of the wretched day care centre, again! Instead of resorting to the methods that were successful last time, they chose a different method, involving rubber bands, paper clips and half a pint of dribble. Led by Mickey’s brave command the spastic ninjas charged at the day care nurses, flicking rubber bands and hurling paper clips, and made for the exit. The guard dogs were set upon they were also handicapped and ended up humping each other on the lawn in true doggy style.
Away from their incarceration the spastic ninjas took to the streets in style. Warren took a leak on a lamppost to show other spastic ninjas this was THEIR territory, Mickey stuck his favourite Digimon stickers on road signs to rebel against the powers that be, and Gordon fell over the curb and grazed his knee – but luckily Mickey had some colourful Disney themed plasters. After applying a Donald Duck to his bloodied knee, Gordon was right as rain – really retarded rain.
As none of the ninjas knew where the police station was, despite getting directions from several passers by, a map and a taxi to the main entrance, the spastic ninjas decided to launch a flare to mark their location in hope that other ninjas would come to their rescue. Instead it alerted police inside the station who rushed out and knocked them, gurning and squealing, to the floor, cuffed them, and took them to the cells. “So far, so good” Mickey said mongfully.
In the small cold cells soaked with urine and semen (mostly Warren’s) the spastic ninjas formulated a plot so stupid it would take a drunken 8-year-old kid on crack to understand the logic behind it. The plan was for Gordon to dislocate his jaw and pick the lock with the shattered bone fragments and use it as a boomerang to take out the guards on duty. However when Gordon got his fist stuck in his mouth they decided to use the other, totally open door, to escape from.
The ninja posse moved out awkwardly into the corridor to demand Gordon’s mitten back. The group moved with stealth, style and skill – until Warren began clawing at the vending machine, trying desperately to forage for Dr Pepper and Mars Bars. Again the police were alerted of the spastic ninjas presence, and came spiriting towards the group to hinder their escape. However they skidded and slipped in a pool of Mickey’s dribble and went crashing into a conveniently nearby cupboard filled with hundreds of loaded handguns – killing them instantly.
The search for Gordon’s mitten around the police station began. Warren, an avid fan of action movies, went rummaging though the ventilation system getting his fat ass stuck and requiring 15 tubs of extra strength Vaseline to free him. Gordon went to the toilets, perhaps to check for the glove, perhaps to wipe his name in bum gravy all over the walls. Mickey took the insightful angle and checked through all of the evidence lockers, eventually coming across a urine soaked glove. It was Gordon’s!
With the sodden mitten firmly on Gordon’s hand (and sewn into his jacket to avoid from losing it again) the spastic ninjas set off on their way home, walking picturesquely into what they thought was the sunset. However it wasn’t really the sunset, it was a giant mural on the side of a building advertising Caribbean Twist, and all three of them walked into it, one after the other, and fell to the floor. They pondered why the sunset had suddenly gone solid and was obstructing the way home to their beloved day care centre. Summer came and went and a cold bitter winter set in before Mickey finally deduced it was a wall and they would indeed have to walk around.
They arrived back at the day care centre, doused in water, urine and petrol (Warren thought it was cider) and trudged back to their den underneath the overturned medical trolley with a sheet pulled over it. They got dosed up on pills and as they began to loose all feeling in their faces they plotted their next wacky retarded outing.
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Not as good as the first one, but still superb.
quite decent
About half as good as the original.
But that's still pretty damn good.
But that's still pretty damn good.
Twas great... enought said.
Aoe wrote:
> It's been a while since we saw the first SN.
Naw I posted it about 2 weeks ago mate.
Search through the backlog and you'll find it.
> It's been a while since we saw the first SN.
Naw I posted it about 2 weeks ago mate.
Search through the backlog and you'll find it.
It's been a while since we saw the first SN.
Very good - keep it up!
The spastic ninjas, how i laughed the first time, and how i laughed this time.
Yes, yes it was :-P
LMAO...
That's pretty good :D.
That's pretty good :D.
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