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I'm posting this because I don't know what to make of it. So if you read it, tell me what you think.
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Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade away, woven in mist. She knows me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hides secrets and soundlessly screams: I love you, forever. Falling girl, in that never-returning dress: whiter than these ghostly hands, these fingers of the final caress.
Stone by stone I built my tower, higher and higher into the meaningless sky; these toiling hands built it for you, falling girl - how dare you reject my epic design. To make it taller than the tallest trees, that was my aim, and I accomplished my task, I did it for you; I dreamed of us walking to the summit, step-by-step, arm-in-arm: we could look down on the world as if seated on clouds; but now the world is silent, as still as stony death, and my girl is falling, falling -
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade in slow emotion. Did you ever really know me? Did you ever truly care? I dived into your being with an undying will, wishing for the perfect now, yet what do I see as I stand like a shadow atop the pinnacle of this lonely tower? Nothing; nothing but a token of unrequited devotion: a solitary broken flower.
Fallen girl, vanished from my life, these bitter hands have sealed our fate; it is over, gone, finished, too late. She knew me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hid secrets and now soundlessly screams: I love you, forever.
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Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade away, woven in mist. She knows me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hides secrets and soundlessly screams: I love you, forever. Falling girl, in that never-returning dress: whiter than these ghostly hands, these fingers of the final caress.
Stone by stone I built my tower, higher and higher into the meaningless sky; these toiling hands built it for you, falling girl - how dare you reject my epic design. To make it taller than the tallest trees, that was my aim, and I accomplished my task, I did it for you; I dreamed of us walking to the summit, step-by-step, arm-in-arm: we could look down on the world as if seated on clouds; but now the world is silent, as still as stony death, and my girl is falling, falling -
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade in slow emotion. Did you ever really know me? Did you ever truly care? I dived into your being with an undying will, wishing for the perfect now, yet what do I see as I stand like a shadow atop the pinnacle of this lonely tower? Nothing; nothing but a token of unrequited devotion: a solitary broken flower.
Fallen girl, vanished from my life, these bitter hands have sealed our fate; it is over, gone, finished, too late. She knew me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hid secrets and now soundlessly screams: I love you, forever.
Meh, forgot to say.
Very good indeed.
There.
:)
Very good indeed.
There.
:)
Yeah, exactly what Meka said.
It seemed to flow nicely, and was pieced together well.
And another thing is - I feel poetic pieces/stories posted are going to benefit greatly from the ability to post with italics now.
It seemed to flow nicely, and was pieced together well.
And another thing is - I feel poetic pieces/stories posted are going to benefit greatly from the ability to post with italics now.
Very poetic - it flows incredibly well. Great use of repetition too.
Personally, I'm not good when it comes to poetry, my words always seem to clunky, so I was impressed with this.
Personally, I'm not good when it comes to poetry, my words always seem to clunky, so I was impressed with this.
I'm posting this because I don't know what to make of it. So if you read it, tell me what you think.
-------
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade away, woven in mist. She knows me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hides secrets and soundlessly screams: I love you, forever. Falling girl, in that never-returning dress: whiter than these ghostly hands, these fingers of the final caress.
Stone by stone I built my tower, higher and higher into the meaningless sky; these toiling hands built it for you, falling girl - how dare you reject my epic design. To make it taller than the tallest trees, that was my aim, and I accomplished my task, I did it for you; I dreamed of us walking to the summit, step-by-step, arm-in-arm: we could look down on the world as if seated on clouds; but now the world is silent, as still as stony death, and my girl is falling, falling -
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade in slow emotion. Did you ever really know me? Did you ever truly care? I dived into your being with an undying will, wishing for the perfect now, yet what do I see as I stand like a shadow atop the pinnacle of this lonely tower? Nothing; nothing but a token of unrequited devotion: a solitary broken flower.
Fallen girl, vanished from my life, these bitter hands have sealed our fate; it is over, gone, finished, too late. She knew me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hid secrets and now soundlessly screams: I love you, forever.
-------
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade away, woven in mist. She knows me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hides secrets and soundlessly screams: I love you, forever. Falling girl, in that never-returning dress: whiter than these ghostly hands, these fingers of the final caress.
Stone by stone I built my tower, higher and higher into the meaningless sky; these toiling hands built it for you, falling girl - how dare you reject my epic design. To make it taller than the tallest trees, that was my aim, and I accomplished my task, I did it for you; I dreamed of us walking to the summit, step-by-step, arm-in-arm: we could look down on the world as if seated on clouds; but now the world is silent, as still as stony death, and my girl is falling, falling -
Falling girl, there is no way back, with a faint forlorn smile and woebegone heart I watch you fade in slow emotion. Did you ever really know me? Did you ever truly care? I dived into your being with an undying will, wishing for the perfect now, yet what do I see as I stand like a shadow atop the pinnacle of this lonely tower? Nothing; nothing but a token of unrequited devotion: a solitary broken flower.
Fallen girl, vanished from my life, these bitter hands have sealed our fate; it is over, gone, finished, too late. She knew me, in her most intimate dreams, that glint in her eye hid secrets and now soundlessly screams: I love you, forever.