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It has become apparent to me that I am not very good a reviewing games or writing to persuade, (and I really have tried hard to win game-a-day so I can rejoyce and play Z.O.E with you all!) so I have decided to write a story on characters/places/ideas from a PS2 game! This took me a long time to type so even if I don't win, please enjoy it. (Tip: Imagine the speech sounding like the characters voices in the game)
SSX: Broken Boards (Part 1)
------------------
By Saesee
"That's it girl, keep yer back straight an' keep thinking ahead!" Moby's words were distorted by the whooshing of freezing air past Elsie's ears - she was starting to enjoy this.
"C'momn!" she swerved past a cone and almost hit the sidebar. "You wanna be a professional snowboarder, don'tcha?"
"Sorry - this is my first real cource."
He watched her long, canadian-gold hair flutter in the wind. "Don't loose focus!" He swerved to avoid a cone himself. "Keep your brain one step ahead of your board, always think of what..." There was a loud metal clank as Moby witnessed the young boarder fall head-first over a grindng pole, putting pressure on the board almost breaking it. "...of what's in front of you."
Elsie emitted a cry of pain as she saw what had happened to her knee, it was sprained and bleeding badly. "It hurts Martin!" Moby offered her his hand. "It's Moby. M-O-..."
"I'm sorry, it hurts though!"
"It dosen't look too bad, but let's get you back inside. We need to talk." The large magnetic fans whirred noisily in the training centre as Moby assisted in unstrapping her board, slowly they made it to the exit door.
* * *
He poured a cup of fresh brewed coffee and handed it to the damaged Canadian girl. "So you need a couple more pointers, I understand that." She sipped the hot drink willingly while he paced across the room. "But what I don't understand is why you're here in the first place." She stopped the sipping and looked up at her newly-appointed teacher, hoping not to say what he was going to make her.
"Wha... what do you mean?" Moby was glaring at her now like a federal agent wanting answers. She had hoped this moment hadn't have come. "I wanted to learn about Snowboard SuperCross, is that a crime?"
Moby pulled up a chair and sat face-on to her, just as if she were being interrogated. "Yeah, but all my students are enthusiastic about their sport." Elsie knew what he was talking about, but she tried to act bewildered. "You seem reluctant. You gotta be brave and daring to sucseed in a sport like this - and you seem hesitent to do whatever I ask you to." She looked down at the blood-soaked bandage on her knee.
"It's hard, Moby."
"So you wanna quit?"
She felt uneasy, and her eyes started to glance at other things in the room. "No, I'll stay.
Moby looked at her c***-eyed. "Why?" She shuffled her feet and kept her eyes to trhe floor.
"Hmm?" Moby prompted.
"I ran away from home." She looked back into his eyes.
"Things were bad there - dad was a drunken mess, my mom cried a lot." He was silent. "I went in search for a decent job so I could live on my own, but I'm not good at things like accounting, deskjobs and endless paperwork."
"Elsie..." Moby interupted, with a glint of sadness in his eye. "I don't think I'm the person you should be telling this to."
"You asked." she tried to put on a brave smile, but she still looked desperately depressed. "Anyway, I heard there was real money in board racing, even more than all that wrestling stuff. I was good at skateboarding in my home town, but that was years ago. I thought I could make it big here, in Snowboard SuperCross."
"Man - I don't wanna chuck a homeless student out on the street..." She looked up, hoping to say what he was going to say. "Let's try it one more time." She smiled gratefully. "Let's see whatcha really got."
* * *
"Let's do a couple'a calf turns!" She did just that. "Brilliant!" As they progressed downhill, the wind caught up with them. "Here comes a jump. Have you got what it takes to pull off a phat seven-twenty?"
Tension was mounting as the jump came up, Moby pulled off to the right. "Build the energy up in your legs, and jump before the high point!" This was it.
She felt the cool breeze flowing around her body, and she felt as if she was flying toward a new career...
-End-
Thanks for reading, I will probably do a part 2!
SSX: Broken Boards (Part 1)
------------------
By Saesee
"That's it girl, keep yer back straight an' keep thinking ahead!" Moby's words were distorted by the whooshing of freezing air past Elsie's ears - she was starting to enjoy this.
"C'momn!" she swerved past a cone and almost hit the sidebar. "You wanna be a professional snowboarder, don'tcha?"
"Sorry - this is my first real cource."
He watched her long, canadian-gold hair flutter in the wind. "Don't loose focus!" He swerved to avoid a cone himself. "Keep your brain one step ahead of your board, always think of what..." There was a loud metal clank as Moby witnessed the young boarder fall head-first over a grindng pole, putting pressure on the board almost breaking it. "...of what's in front of you."
Elsie emitted a cry of pain as she saw what had happened to her knee, it was sprained and bleeding badly. "It hurts Martin!" Moby offered her his hand. "It's Moby. M-O-..."
"I'm sorry, it hurts though!"
"It dosen't look too bad, but let's get you back inside. We need to talk." The large magnetic fans whirred noisily in the training centre as Moby assisted in unstrapping her board, slowly they made it to the exit door.
* * *
He poured a cup of fresh brewed coffee and handed it to the damaged Canadian girl. "So you need a couple more pointers, I understand that." She sipped the hot drink willingly while he paced across the room. "But what I don't understand is why you're here in the first place." She stopped the sipping and looked up at her newly-appointed teacher, hoping not to say what he was going to make her.
"Wha... what do you mean?" Moby was glaring at her now like a federal agent wanting answers. She had hoped this moment hadn't have come. "I wanted to learn about Snowboard SuperCross, is that a crime?"
Moby pulled up a chair and sat face-on to her, just as if she were being interrogated. "Yeah, but all my students are enthusiastic about their sport." Elsie knew what he was talking about, but she tried to act bewildered. "You seem reluctant. You gotta be brave and daring to sucseed in a sport like this - and you seem hesitent to do whatever I ask you to." She looked down at the blood-soaked bandage on her knee.
"It's hard, Moby."
"So you wanna quit?"
She felt uneasy, and her eyes started to glance at other things in the room. "No, I'll stay.
Moby looked at her c***-eyed. "Why?" She shuffled her feet and kept her eyes to trhe floor.
"Hmm?" Moby prompted.
"I ran away from home." She looked back into his eyes.
"Things were bad there - dad was a drunken mess, my mom cried a lot." He was silent. "I went in search for a decent job so I could live on my own, but I'm not good at things like accounting, deskjobs and endless paperwork."
"Elsie..." Moby interupted, with a glint of sadness in his eye. "I don't think I'm the person you should be telling this to."
"You asked." she tried to put on a brave smile, but she still looked desperately depressed. "Anyway, I heard there was real money in board racing, even more than all that wrestling stuff. I was good at skateboarding in my home town, but that was years ago. I thought I could make it big here, in Snowboard SuperCross."
"Man - I don't wanna chuck a homeless student out on the street..." She looked up, hoping to say what he was going to say. "Let's try it one more time." She smiled gratefully. "Let's see whatcha really got."
* * *
"Let's do a couple'a calf turns!" She did just that. "Brilliant!" As they progressed downhill, the wind caught up with them. "Here comes a jump. Have you got what it takes to pull off a phat seven-twenty?"
Tension was mounting as the jump came up, Moby pulled off to the right. "Build the energy up in your legs, and jump before the high point!" This was it.
She felt the cool breeze flowing around her body, and she felt as if she was flying toward a new career...
-End-
Thanks for reading, I will probably do a part 2!
LOL!!!!
WELL DONE SAESEE YOU WON GAD!!!!!
congrats
WELL DONE SAESEE YOU WON GAD!!!!!
congrats
You haven't won Gameaday yet???
If you post with that sort of quality all the time, I expect you'll be winning many a game soon!!!
Like me for instance, with 6 games!! {:)
Anyway, well done, excellent post.
Join us on the FOG, and help me, Grix, FantasyMeister and pb to write the FOG stories we write.
At the moment we're writing a western. Just include yourself in it. It's called, "Step Outside, Grix,"
If you post with that sort of quality all the time, I expect you'll be winning many a game soon!!!
Like me for instance, with 6 games!! {:)
Anyway, well done, excellent post.
Join us on the FOG, and help me, Grix, FantasyMeister and pb to write the FOG stories we write.
At the moment we're writing a western. Just include yourself in it. It's called, "Step Outside, Grix,"
Well done Saesee! That was the best thing I`ve read on these discussions boards in ages. The fact that it was SSX related made it even better. Don`t worry about the guy who said there isn't a "storyaday", that doesn't make sense because you don`t win gameaday for making a game.
It was a good story, and it was game related. If it doesn't win, then I will take a good look at the winnning post because it will have to be a master piece.
I only hope the references to gameaday don't hurt your chances. It may have been better to have not mentioned it. Anyway, good luck! I was going to submit a review today, but I think I'll wait now! :-)
It was a good story, and it was game related. If it doesn't win, then I will take a good look at the winnning post because it will have to be a master piece.
I only hope the references to gameaday don't hurt your chances. It may have been better to have not mentioned it. Anyway, good luck! I was going to submit a review today, but I think I'll wait now! :-)
I've won for a story.
You should check out the story we are writing in the FOG Saesee, it's our third one... :)
You should check out the story we are writing in the FOG Saesee, it's our third one... :)
It has become apparent to me that I am not very good a reviewing games or writing to persuade, (and I really have tried hard to win game-a-day so I can rejoyce and play Z.O.E with you all!) so I have decided to write a story on characters/places/ideas from a PS2 game! This took me a long time to type so even if I don't win, please enjoy it. (Tip: Imagine the speech sounding like the characters voices in the game)
SSX: Broken Boards (Part 1)
------------------
By Saesee
"That's it girl, keep yer back straight an' keep thinking ahead!" Moby's words were distorted by the whooshing of freezing air past Elsie's ears - she was starting to enjoy this.
"C'momn!" she swerved past a cone and almost hit the sidebar. "You wanna be a professional snowboarder, don'tcha?"
"Sorry - this is my first real cource."
He watched her long, canadian-gold hair flutter in the wind. "Don't loose focus!" He swerved to avoid a cone himself. "Keep your brain one step ahead of your board, always think of what..." There was a loud metal clank as Moby witnessed the young boarder fall head-first over a grindng pole, putting pressure on the board almost breaking it. "...of what's in front of you."
Elsie emitted a cry of pain as she saw what had happened to her knee, it was sprained and bleeding badly. "It hurts Martin!" Moby offered her his hand. "It's Moby. M-O-..."
"I'm sorry, it hurts though!"
"It dosen't look too bad, but let's get you back inside. We need to talk." The large magnetic fans whirred noisily in the training centre as Moby assisted in unstrapping her board, slowly they made it to the exit door.
* * *
He poured a cup of fresh brewed coffee and handed it to the damaged Canadian girl. "So you need a couple more pointers, I understand that." She sipped the hot drink willingly while he paced across the room. "But what I don't understand is why you're here in the first place." She stopped the sipping and looked up at her newly-appointed teacher, hoping not to say what he was going to make her.
"Wha... what do you mean?" Moby was glaring at her now like a federal agent wanting answers. She had hoped this moment hadn't have come. "I wanted to learn about Snowboard SuperCross, is that a crime?"
Moby pulled up a chair and sat face-on to her, just as if she were being interrogated. "Yeah, but all my students are enthusiastic about their sport." Elsie knew what he was talking about, but she tried to act bewildered. "You seem reluctant. You gotta be brave and daring to sucseed in a sport like this - and you seem hesitent to do whatever I ask you to." She looked down at the blood-soaked bandage on her knee.
"It's hard, Moby."
"So you wanna quit?"
She felt uneasy, and her eyes started to glance at other things in the room. "No, I'll stay.
Moby looked at her c***-eyed. "Why?" She shuffled her feet and kept her eyes to trhe floor.
"Hmm?" Moby prompted.
"I ran away from home." She looked back into his eyes.
"Things were bad there - dad was a drunken mess, my mom cried a lot." He was silent. "I went in search for a decent job so I could live on my own, but I'm not good at things like accounting, deskjobs and endless paperwork."
"Elsie..." Moby interupted, with a glint of sadness in his eye. "I don't think I'm the person you should be telling this to."
"You asked." she tried to put on a brave smile, but she still looked desperately depressed. "Anyway, I heard there was real money in board racing, even more than all that wrestling stuff. I was good at skateboarding in my home town, but that was years ago. I thought I could make it big here, in Snowboard SuperCross."
"Man - I don't wanna chuck a homeless student out on the street..." She looked up, hoping to say what he was going to say. "Let's try it one more time." She smiled gratefully. "Let's see whatcha really got."
* * *
"Let's do a couple'a calf turns!" She did just that. "Brilliant!" As they progressed downhill, the wind caught up with them. "Here comes a jump. Have you got what it takes to pull off a phat seven-twenty?"
Tension was mounting as the jump came up, Moby pulled off to the right. "Build the energy up in your legs, and jump before the high point!" This was it.
She felt the cool breeze flowing around her body, and she felt as if she was flying toward a new career...
-End-
Thanks for reading, I will probably do a part 2!
SSX: Broken Boards (Part 1)
------------------
By Saesee
"That's it girl, keep yer back straight an' keep thinking ahead!" Moby's words were distorted by the whooshing of freezing air past Elsie's ears - she was starting to enjoy this.
"C'momn!" she swerved past a cone and almost hit the sidebar. "You wanna be a professional snowboarder, don'tcha?"
"Sorry - this is my first real cource."
He watched her long, canadian-gold hair flutter in the wind. "Don't loose focus!" He swerved to avoid a cone himself. "Keep your brain one step ahead of your board, always think of what..." There was a loud metal clank as Moby witnessed the young boarder fall head-first over a grindng pole, putting pressure on the board almost breaking it. "...of what's in front of you."
Elsie emitted a cry of pain as she saw what had happened to her knee, it was sprained and bleeding badly. "It hurts Martin!" Moby offered her his hand. "It's Moby. M-O-..."
"I'm sorry, it hurts though!"
"It dosen't look too bad, but let's get you back inside. We need to talk." The large magnetic fans whirred noisily in the training centre as Moby assisted in unstrapping her board, slowly they made it to the exit door.
* * *
He poured a cup of fresh brewed coffee and handed it to the damaged Canadian girl. "So you need a couple more pointers, I understand that." She sipped the hot drink willingly while he paced across the room. "But what I don't understand is why you're here in the first place." She stopped the sipping and looked up at her newly-appointed teacher, hoping not to say what he was going to make her.
"Wha... what do you mean?" Moby was glaring at her now like a federal agent wanting answers. She had hoped this moment hadn't have come. "I wanted to learn about Snowboard SuperCross, is that a crime?"
Moby pulled up a chair and sat face-on to her, just as if she were being interrogated. "Yeah, but all my students are enthusiastic about their sport." Elsie knew what he was talking about, but she tried to act bewildered. "You seem reluctant. You gotta be brave and daring to sucseed in a sport like this - and you seem hesitent to do whatever I ask you to." She looked down at the blood-soaked bandage on her knee.
"It's hard, Moby."
"So you wanna quit?"
She felt uneasy, and her eyes started to glance at other things in the room. "No, I'll stay.
Moby looked at her c***-eyed. "Why?" She shuffled her feet and kept her eyes to trhe floor.
"Hmm?" Moby prompted.
"I ran away from home." She looked back into his eyes.
"Things were bad there - dad was a drunken mess, my mom cried a lot." He was silent. "I went in search for a decent job so I could live on my own, but I'm not good at things like accounting, deskjobs and endless paperwork."
"Elsie..." Moby interupted, with a glint of sadness in his eye. "I don't think I'm the person you should be telling this to."
"You asked." she tried to put on a brave smile, but she still looked desperately depressed. "Anyway, I heard there was real money in board racing, even more than all that wrestling stuff. I was good at skateboarding in my home town, but that was years ago. I thought I could make it big here, in Snowboard SuperCross."
"Man - I don't wanna chuck a homeless student out on the street..." She looked up, hoping to say what he was going to say. "Let's try it one more time." She smiled gratefully. "Let's see whatcha really got."
* * *
"Let's do a couple'a calf turns!" She did just that. "Brilliant!" As they progressed downhill, the wind caught up with them. "Here comes a jump. Have you got what it takes to pull off a phat seven-twenty?"
Tension was mounting as the jump came up, Moby pulled off to the right. "Build the energy up in your legs, and jump before the high point!" This was it.
She felt the cool breeze flowing around her body, and she felt as if she was flying toward a new career...
-End-
Thanks for reading, I will probably do a part 2!