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You are so fu***d
You couldn't know the sky
I needed an antithesis for you
Everyone's going to rot you in my
Did you know the colours were all blue?
You are so dead
I needn't trouble, perfection is gone
The sun is falling, but you cannot see
My stars and life drive on
While you, fu*ked and dead, try to find me
You are so lucky
The numbers float, the rotten apple chokes
Disgrace, thirteen and cobwebs on your hand
You needn't worry, only the glass is broke
For so long out lives have tasted bland
You are so gone
The rim of the world has turned,
Divinity has come, sliced and been
The hearts of others have burned
Need I say more than Lucky 13?
You couldn't know the sky
I needed an antithesis for you
Everyone's going to rot you in my
Did you know the colours were all blue?
You are so dead
I needn't trouble, perfection is gone
The sun is falling, but you cannot see
My stars and life drive on
While you, fu*ked and dead, try to find me
You are so lucky
The numbers float, the rotten apple chokes
Disgrace, thirteen and cobwebs on your hand
You needn't worry, only the glass is broke
For so long out lives have tasted bland
You are so gone
The rim of the world has turned,
Divinity has come, sliced and been
The hearts of others have burned
Need I say more than Lucky 13?
media zoo, posted.
Read-age
Spite/spire, I chose to spell it different.
Literacy rebel
Read-age
Spite/spire, I chose to spell it different.
Literacy rebel
Spire?
Pish.
Beat my masterpiece.
Pish.
Beat my masterpiece.
I'm writing an "out of rhytmn" one now
to spite you
spire you good!
to spite you
spire you good!
No, the rhythmn was fine, because I chose it that way.
So there.
So there.
No..................... no
Meh, freedom of choice and all that.
But still, the rhythmn was a bit 'out' :-D
Meh, freedom of choice and all that.
But still, the rhythmn was a bit 'out' :-D
Thankee for the English lesson.
I used the swearing because it sums it up best - I always think of poetry as being what one makes of it - if I'd needed a different word, I'd have chosen one :)
I used the swearing because it sums it up best - I always think of poetry as being what one makes of it - if I'd needed a different word, I'd have chosen one :)
When I talk about balancing your lines I mean something a little like this (although it isn't perfect)
Damned by dreams that emasculate
Whichever thoughts grow fond
A ritual that once grew great
Before the broken bonds
Elevated past darkened doubt
Tattooed by street-light fraud
The taxman knocks, reasons without
Civilian levy duly stored
Forgetting sinful syntax
Forging sentences of stealth
Intricately evading tax
And procuring piles of wealth.
To save their seats politicians lie
With bribes they don’t resent
With starving hunger babies cry
Whilst income tax is sadly spent
Witness wily officials in their jaguars
Diamonds nested in wife’s ears
Then see taxpayers in economy cars
They saved for years and years
Will no one break the circle of lies
And do the country a favour
Recall the day democracy died
The birthday of New Labour
Damned by dreams that emasculate
Whichever thoughts grow fond
A ritual that once grew great
Before the broken bonds
Elevated past darkened doubt
Tattooed by street-light fraud
The taxman knocks, reasons without
Civilian levy duly stored
Forgetting sinful syntax
Forging sentences of stealth
Intricately evading tax
And procuring piles of wealth.
To save their seats politicians lie
With bribes they don’t resent
With starving hunger babies cry
Whilst income tax is sadly spent
Witness wily officials in their jaguars
Diamonds nested in wife’s ears
Then see taxpayers in economy cars
They saved for years and years
Will no one break the circle of lies
And do the country a favour
Recall the day democracy died
The birthday of New Labour
I also liked the intro lines, they're a nice touch :-).
Something I have done myself in poems, stories.
It's called detatchment, works very nicely.
Something I have done myself in poems, stories.
It's called detatchment, works very nicely.
Last stanzer me likey, the rest was a bit out of rythmn, needs a read through and a few words changing as the syllables don't match each other.
Aim for about
8
7
8
7
as that sits nicely.
Also try not to swear in poems, it throws the reader off. Use different more creative words to express anger/annoyance.
Buy a theosaurus :-D
Aim for about
8
7
8
7
as that sits nicely.
Also try not to swear in poems, it throws the reader off. Use different more creative words to express anger/annoyance.
Buy a theosaurus :-D
You are so fu***d
You couldn't know the sky
I needed an antithesis for you
Everyone's going to rot you in my
Did you know the colours were all blue?
You are so dead
I needn't trouble, perfection is gone
The sun is falling, but you cannot see
My stars and life drive on
While you, fu*ked and dead, try to find me
You are so lucky
The numbers float, the rotten apple chokes
Disgrace, thirteen and cobwebs on your hand
You needn't worry, only the glass is broke
For so long out lives have tasted bland
You are so gone
The rim of the world has turned,
Divinity has come, sliced and been
The hearts of others have burned
Need I say more than Lucky 13?
You couldn't know the sky
I needed an antithesis for you
Everyone's going to rot you in my
Did you know the colours were all blue?
You are so dead
I needn't trouble, perfection is gone
The sun is falling, but you cannot see
My stars and life drive on
While you, fu*ked and dead, try to find me
You are so lucky
The numbers float, the rotten apple chokes
Disgrace, thirteen and cobwebs on your hand
You needn't worry, only the glass is broke
For so long out lives have tasted bland
You are so gone
The rim of the world has turned,
Divinity has come, sliced and been
The hearts of others have burned
Need I say more than Lucky 13?