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Top Ten bad consequences of ultra-realism in games:
10: Dinosaurs can no longer play tennis. No thumbs, y'see.
9: Mario would actully have to fix the plumbing in Peach's castle. And charge her ridiculously high amounts to unblock her drains.
8: After a few hours of searching a building looking for a bomb, searching for a toilet may become a higher priority.
7: NPC's in RPG's would more likely tell you to "Sod off" rather than give useful bits of information, especially after speaking to them for a third time.
6: After finishing a level of Goldeneye, if you've taken a few hits, you have to spent a month in Intensive Care before going on to the next mission.
5: After years of smoking Solid Snake wouldn't be able to sneak around anywhere. The guards would hear him wheezing from yards away!
4: On a spy mission to an Eastern European country you get stopped coming through customs. If you're carrying a gan, the customs officials have to wonder just what else you may be carry. A full body search will have to be conducted. The sound of latex gloves snappinginto place is the last thing you hear....
3: Your backpack has limited space . So you can no longer carry a Landrover, Hovercraft and Snowmobile around with you like you can in Phantasy Star. Likewise FPS games and carrying many guns.
2: You can no longer just walk into items of food laying on the floor to be instantly healed. In fact, if you do eat chicken straight from the floor, your character gets food poisoning.
And the number one bad consequence of ultra-realism is:
1: Spanking your monkey would get you in trouble with the RSPCA. If you did it in public, you might get arrested!
10: Dinosaurs can no longer play tennis. No thumbs, y'see.
9: Mario would actully have to fix the plumbing in Peach's castle. And charge her ridiculously high amounts to unblock her drains.
8: After a few hours of searching a building looking for a bomb, searching for a toilet may become a higher priority.
7: NPC's in RPG's would more likely tell you to "Sod off" rather than give useful bits of information, especially after speaking to them for a third time.
6: After finishing a level of Goldeneye, if you've taken a few hits, you have to spent a month in Intensive Care before going on to the next mission.
5: After years of smoking Solid Snake wouldn't be able to sneak around anywhere. The guards would hear him wheezing from yards away!
4: On a spy mission to an Eastern European country you get stopped coming through customs. If you're carrying a gan, the customs officials have to wonder just what else you may be carry. A full body search will have to be conducted. The sound of latex gloves snappinginto place is the last thing you hear....
3: Your backpack has limited space . So you can no longer carry a Landrover, Hovercraft and Snowmobile around with you like you can in Phantasy Star. Likewise FPS games and carrying many guns.
2: You can no longer just walk into items of food laying on the floor to be instantly healed. In fact, if you do eat chicken straight from the floor, your character gets food poisoning.
And the number one bad consequence of ultra-realism is:
1: Spanking your monkey would get you in trouble with the RSPCA. If you did it in public, you might get arrested!
10 more:
You'd need a psychological examination after completing the first section of Resident Evil Code: Veronica
You'd only ever play TOCA Touring Cars once, you'd be sacked from your team after discovering the true realism of handling one of those cars on the first bend.
Footie sims would be a dying genre, you'd know that Manchester United would always win.
You'd be the least popular person in your riding stables for saying things like "This is fun!" and "Lets ride!!" everytime you went out on a hack, and they'd get fed up with you stopping every 5 minutes to look at a rock pool.
RPG's would improve because they would concentrate on combat and weapons more, the spells just wouldn't work anymore.
Shenmue wouldn't exist, the main character would have been massacred along with his dad in real life.
Lara Croft would have retired and had several babies by now, she'd have probably married Guy Ritchie and lived in Scotland, but this is open to debate.
You couldn't make a party of characters in Final Fantasy, they'd end up squabbling and fighting amongst themselves about which way to go next and what quests would be better.
Unlimited ammo would not be an extra bonus feature.
You'd never be around long enough to play Age of Empires.
You'd need a psychological examination after completing the first section of Resident Evil Code: Veronica
You'd only ever play TOCA Touring Cars once, you'd be sacked from your team after discovering the true realism of handling one of those cars on the first bend.
Footie sims would be a dying genre, you'd know that Manchester United would always win.
You'd be the least popular person in your riding stables for saying things like "This is fun!" and "Lets ride!!" everytime you went out on a hack, and they'd get fed up with you stopping every 5 minutes to look at a rock pool.
RPG's would improve because they would concentrate on combat and weapons more, the spells just wouldn't work anymore.
Shenmue wouldn't exist, the main character would have been massacred along with his dad in real life.
Lara Croft would have retired and had several babies by now, she'd have probably married Guy Ritchie and lived in Scotland, but this is open to debate.
You couldn't make a party of characters in Final Fantasy, they'd end up squabbling and fighting amongst themselves about which way to go next and what quests would be better.
Unlimited ammo would not be an extra bonus feature.
You'd never be around long enough to play Age of Empires.
Top Ten bad consequences of ultra-realism in games:
10: Dinosaurs can no longer play tennis. No thumbs, y'see.
9: Mario would actully have to fix the plumbing in Peach's castle. And charge her ridiculously high amounts to unblock her drains.
8: After a few hours of searching a building looking for a bomb, searching for a toilet may become a higher priority.
7: NPC's in RPG's would more likely tell you to "Sod off" rather than give useful bits of information, especially after speaking to them for a third time.
6: After finishing a level of Goldeneye, if you've taken a few hits, you have to spent a month in Intensive Care before going on to the next mission.
5: After years of smoking Solid Snake wouldn't be able to sneak around anywhere. The guards would hear him wheezing from yards away!
4: On a spy mission to an Eastern European country you get stopped coming through customs. If you're carrying a gan, the customs officials have to wonder just what else you may be carry. A full body search will have to be conducted. The sound of latex gloves snappinginto place is the last thing you hear....
3: Your backpack has limited space . So you can no longer carry a Landrover, Hovercraft and Snowmobile around with you like you can in Phantasy Star. Likewise FPS games and carrying many guns.
2: You can no longer just walk into items of food laying on the floor to be instantly healed. In fact, if you do eat chicken straight from the floor, your character gets food poisoning.
And the number one bad consequence of ultra-realism is:
1: Spanking your monkey would get you in trouble with the RSPCA. If you did it in public, you might get arrested!
10: Dinosaurs can no longer play tennis. No thumbs, y'see.
9: Mario would actully have to fix the plumbing in Peach's castle. And charge her ridiculously high amounts to unblock her drains.
8: After a few hours of searching a building looking for a bomb, searching for a toilet may become a higher priority.
7: NPC's in RPG's would more likely tell you to "Sod off" rather than give useful bits of information, especially after speaking to them for a third time.
6: After finishing a level of Goldeneye, if you've taken a few hits, you have to spent a month in Intensive Care before going on to the next mission.
5: After years of smoking Solid Snake wouldn't be able to sneak around anywhere. The guards would hear him wheezing from yards away!
4: On a spy mission to an Eastern European country you get stopped coming through customs. If you're carrying a gan, the customs officials have to wonder just what else you may be carry. A full body search will have to be conducted. The sound of latex gloves snappinginto place is the last thing you hear....
3: Your backpack has limited space . So you can no longer carry a Landrover, Hovercraft and Snowmobile around with you like you can in Phantasy Star. Likewise FPS games and carrying many guns.
2: You can no longer just walk into items of food laying on the floor to be instantly healed. In fact, if you do eat chicken straight from the floor, your character gets food poisoning.
And the number one bad consequence of ultra-realism is:
1: Spanking your monkey would get you in trouble with the RSPCA. If you did it in public, you might get arrested!