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Ordering a Pizza in 2008
PIZZA - 2008
Operator:
"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
number?"
Customer:
"Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator:
"May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer:
"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator:
"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the
phone number's 494-2366 Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is
745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling
from,
sir?"
Customer:
"Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator:
"We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer:
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."
Operator:
"I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer:
"Whaddya mean?"
Operator:
"Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure
and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't
allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer:
"Damn! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator:
"You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer:
"What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator:
"Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer:
"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator:
"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
Your total is $49.99."
Customer:
"Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer:
"I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."
Operator:
"That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer:
"Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator:
"We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir If
you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting
the
cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer:
"How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator:
"It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.
Customer:
"@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator:
"I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer:
(Speechless)
Operator:
"Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer:
"Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics."
PIZZA - 2008
Operator:
"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
number?"
Customer:
"Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator:
"May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer:
"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator:
"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the
phone number's 494-2366 Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is
745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling
from,
sir?"
Customer:
"Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator:
"We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer:
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."
Operator:
"I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer:
"Whaddya mean?"
Operator:
"Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure
and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't
allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer:
"Damn! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator:
"You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer:
"What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator:
"Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer:
"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator:
"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
Your total is $49.99."
Customer:
"Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer:
"I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."
Operator:
"That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer:
"Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator:
"We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir If
you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting
the
cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer:
"How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator:
"It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.
Customer:
"@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator:
"I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer:
(Speechless)
Operator:
"Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer:
"Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics."
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So where is the bit you're going to write?
Oops, sorry about below! I accidently clicked the "Post button" before I got a chance to quote what I was gonna quote and write my bit!
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> I have people's details when I call them. National Insurance number,
> name, DOB, where they live, where they work, their kid's names and
> DOBs - everything they put on the form.
>
> Sometimes you need to know it, since not everyone believes we work
> for the Inland Revenue, so you have to reel off a load of their
> details. Even after telling some bloke his NI number and the names of
> all three of his kids, he still didn't believe I was who I said I
> was.
>
> If somebody called ME with my NI number, my name and address, my DOB
> and all that, they'd know more about me than I do - I'd believe them
> if they said they were Elvis reincarnated and were here to save the
> earth from ninja toasters.
> I have people's details when I call them. National Insurance number,
> name, DOB, where they live, where they work, their kid's names and
> DOBs - everything they put on the form.
>
> Sometimes you need to know it, since not everyone believes we work
> for the Inland Revenue, so you have to reel off a load of their
> details. Even after telling some bloke his NI number and the names of
> all three of his kids, he still didn't believe I was who I said I
> was.
>
> If somebody called ME with my NI number, my name and address, my DOB
> and all that, they'd know more about me than I do - I'd believe them
> if they said they were Elvis reincarnated and were here to save the
> earth from ninja toasters.
I have people's details when I call them. National Insurance number, name, DOB, where they live, where they work, their kid's names and DOBs - everything they put on the form.
Sometimes you need to know it, since not everyone believes we work for the Inland Revenue, so you have to reel off a load of their details. Even after telling some bloke his NI number and the names of all three of his kids, he still didn't believe I was who I said I was.
If somebody called ME with my NI number, my name and address, my DOB and all that, they'd know more about me than I do - I'd believe them if they said they were Elvis reincarnated and were here to save the earth from ninja toasters.
Sometimes you need to know it, since not everyone believes we work for the Inland Revenue, so you have to reel off a load of their details. Even after telling some bloke his NI number and the names of all three of his kids, he still didn't believe I was who I said I was.
If somebody called ME with my NI number, my name and address, my DOB and all that, they'd know more about me than I do - I'd believe them if they said they were Elvis reincarnated and were here to save the earth from ninja toasters.
Rubbish
And I've worked in Pizza Hut and believe if the operator is anything like the one I used to know that would never happen.
And I've worked in Pizza Hut and believe if the operator is anything like the one I used to know that would never happen.
DAMMIT! I was page in here to!
ßulle††™ wrote:
> Heh, it's funny, but in real life it would be shat scary, knowing some
> spotty faced pizza boy can access your personal details just like
> that.
I wouldnt say that sir, My computer tells me your right handed, so when I send electronic signals down your mouse you'll regret it...
> Heh, it's funny, but in real life it would be shat scary, knowing some
> spotty faced pizza boy can access your personal details just like
> that.
I wouldnt say that sir, My computer tells me your right handed, so when I send electronic signals down your mouse you'll regret it...
VenomByte wrote:
> they may well all have degrees in cognitive psychology...
Oh I'm doing a module on that this semester!! Woohoo... Pizza Hut 2008, here I come!
> they may well all have degrees in cognitive psychology...
Oh I'm doing a module on that this semester!! Woohoo... Pizza Hut 2008, here I come!
*emmigrates*
It'll never happen, because pizza hut operators aren't that clever.
Although perhaps if the government keeps shoving people into uni, they may well all have degrees in cognitive psychology...
Although perhaps if the government keeps shoving people into uni, they may well all have degrees in cognitive psychology...
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