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--Gaming Illnesses--
Scientists would have us believe gaming is addictive, much like the heroin I inject hourly, the cigarettes I smoke 50 of a day, and the lager I was my burger and chips down with at breakfast. But is it true that gaming draws us in and gets us hooked? Are there such things as gaming illnesses? Paradox investigates….
Age Of Empires Affliction:
There have been cases reported, mostly in Mexico (Where the original AOE game has just been released) that many people are moving out into the wilderness and building town centres. They then start farms and lumber camps and slowly build a town up. This is all well and good, as these towns are better quality than the poorly-build Mexican towns, however once these town are built the people are waging war on each other, mostly using novelty swords and plastic bows and arrows, until one civilisation is declared supreme. Nobody has died so far, but there have being a dangerous number of eye gougings and liver stealings. Experts blame the popular computer game, Age of Empires, for these bizarre occurrences. A Microsoft spokesperson told our correspondent, Mike Jones, “Either buy something or get out!” The case remains unsolved.
Monkey Ball Madness:
In Tokoyo, Japan, there have been many people taking to large fibreglass balls and rolling about the city in a reckless fashion. There have being 35 instances where passers-by have been crushed by these rolling balls, however Godzilla is still at the top of the crush-o-meter with a whopping 54,005 crushes this year. The balls are becoming something of a craze in the country, and top developers Sony have designed their own ball which is supposedly going to available to the public next year. Rumours state it will be known as “The happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball”. Experts have linked these crazy rolling balls to those featured in the hit video game, super monkey ball, in which moneys are rolled about in balls over a series of tricky platforms. The ‘happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball stadium’ for racing the ‘The happy mega ultra family fun happy super balls’ is due to open next October.
Vice City Syndrome:
In London, Manchester and pretty much every other British city, there have been reports of increasing gun crime, muggings, drug pushing and car jackings. These crimes have been linked to Rockstar North’s bestseller, Vice City. The game sees you playing the part of Tommy Vecette and working your way up through the underworld by undertaking violent criminal actions. The authorities are worried that the youth of today are following the game in hope of riches and respect. Others believe that this lying, cheating and anti-social behaviour is in homage to Prime Minister Tony Blair. However it is argued that this so-called Vice City syndrome was not sparked by the release of the game, but has in fact being going on a lot longer by groups of inbred morons otherwise known as “townies”. Investigations continue, innit.
Tetris Insomnia:
The box making industry has been thrown into disarray due to the sudden illness of many of their £1.50 an hour Korean workers. The works are not physically ill, as such, but they are no longer able to do the harsh manual labour they are paid for. They have contracted the illness from a crate of Gameboys that arrived from Taiwan and contained a batch of Tetris games. The workers began to play the games, holding small tournaments to see who could get the highest score – but things spilled over into reality. The workers no longer carried the boxes and crates to the location the label read, but instead began stacking them at the bottom of the warehouse, leaving no spaces between any of them. Once a line of crates is complete, one of the workers drives a lorry into them and ‘clears the row’, meaning more boxes can be stacked there. Bosses are puzzled.
So there we are, a modern case study into game related illnesses. They are real and they’re not something to be laughed at. Most people thing it won’t happen to them, just like getting your penis caught in a zip. You can laugh and joke about it but then all of a sudden ‘Zzzzzz’ “ARGHHH!”, “We’ve got a bleeder.”
Scientists would have us believe gaming is addictive, much like the heroin I inject hourly, the cigarettes I smoke 50 of a day, and the lager I was my burger and chips down with at breakfast. But is it true that gaming draws us in and gets us hooked? Are there such things as gaming illnesses? Paradox investigates….
Age Of Empires Affliction:
There have been cases reported, mostly in Mexico (Where the original AOE game has just been released) that many people are moving out into the wilderness and building town centres. They then start farms and lumber camps and slowly build a town up. This is all well and good, as these towns are better quality than the poorly-build Mexican towns, however once these town are built the people are waging war on each other, mostly using novelty swords and plastic bows and arrows, until one civilisation is declared supreme. Nobody has died so far, but there have being a dangerous number of eye gougings and liver stealings. Experts blame the popular computer game, Age of Empires, for these bizarre occurrences. A Microsoft spokesperson told our correspondent, Mike Jones, “Either buy something or get out!” The case remains unsolved.
Monkey Ball Madness:
In Tokoyo, Japan, there have been many people taking to large fibreglass balls and rolling about the city in a reckless fashion. There have being 35 instances where passers-by have been crushed by these rolling balls, however Godzilla is still at the top of the crush-o-meter with a whopping 54,005 crushes this year. The balls are becoming something of a craze in the country, and top developers Sony have designed their own ball which is supposedly going to available to the public next year. Rumours state it will be known as “The happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball”. Experts have linked these crazy rolling balls to those featured in the hit video game, super monkey ball, in which moneys are rolled about in balls over a series of tricky platforms. The ‘happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball stadium’ for racing the ‘The happy mega ultra family fun happy super balls’ is due to open next October.
Vice City Syndrome:
In London, Manchester and pretty much every other British city, there have been reports of increasing gun crime, muggings, drug pushing and car jackings. These crimes have been linked to Rockstar North’s bestseller, Vice City. The game sees you playing the part of Tommy Vecette and working your way up through the underworld by undertaking violent criminal actions. The authorities are worried that the youth of today are following the game in hope of riches and respect. Others believe that this lying, cheating and anti-social behaviour is in homage to Prime Minister Tony Blair. However it is argued that this so-called Vice City syndrome was not sparked by the release of the game, but has in fact being going on a lot longer by groups of inbred morons otherwise known as “townies”. Investigations continue, innit.
Tetris Insomnia:
The box making industry has been thrown into disarray due to the sudden illness of many of their £1.50 an hour Korean workers. The works are not physically ill, as such, but they are no longer able to do the harsh manual labour they are paid for. They have contracted the illness from a crate of Gameboys that arrived from Taiwan and contained a batch of Tetris games. The workers began to play the games, holding small tournaments to see who could get the highest score – but things spilled over into reality. The workers no longer carried the boxes and crates to the location the label read, but instead began stacking them at the bottom of the warehouse, leaving no spaces between any of them. Once a line of crates is complete, one of the workers drives a lorry into them and ‘clears the row’, meaning more boxes can be stacked there. Bosses are puzzled.
So there we are, a modern case study into game related illnesses. They are real and they’re not something to be laughed at. Most people thing it won’t happen to them, just like getting your penis caught in a zip. You can laugh and joke about it but then all of a sudden ‘Zzzzzz’ “ARGHHH!”, “We’ve got a bleeder.”
Yukikaze wrote:
> When Command And Conquer came out on the Playstation I played it 12
> hours in a row and it made my arm hurt so badly I had to go to the
> doctors who put it in a sling. I then tried playing using one hand,
> with little success. True story, though I was only 14.
Impressive - you're a real hardcore games then! My mate got repetitive strain injury from playing Call of Duty so much.
> When Command And Conquer came out on the Playstation I played it 12
> hours in a row and it made my arm hurt so badly I had to go to the
> doctors who put it in a sling. I then tried playing using one hand,
> with little success. True story, though I was only 14.
Impressive - you're a real hardcore games then! My mate got repetitive strain injury from playing Call of Duty so much.
When Command And Conquer came out on the Playstation I played it 12 hours in a row and it made my arm hurt so badly I had to go to the doctors who put it in a sling. I then tried playing using one hand, with little success. True story, though I was only 14.
"I Chug Lithium"
Tee-Hee.
Me Too.
Tee-Hee.
Me Too.
No, you see it DID happen.
Lol, I liked the Age of Empires one! I could picture that.
--Gaming Illnesses--
Scientists would have us believe gaming is addictive, much like the heroin I inject hourly, the cigarettes I smoke 50 of a day, and the lager I was my burger and chips down with at breakfast. But is it true that gaming draws us in and gets us hooked? Are there such things as gaming illnesses? Paradox investigates….
Age Of Empires Affliction:
There have been cases reported, mostly in Mexico (Where the original AOE game has just been released) that many people are moving out into the wilderness and building town centres. They then start farms and lumber camps and slowly build a town up. This is all well and good, as these towns are better quality than the poorly-build Mexican towns, however once these town are built the people are waging war on each other, mostly using novelty swords and plastic bows and arrows, until one civilisation is declared supreme. Nobody has died so far, but there have being a dangerous number of eye gougings and liver stealings. Experts blame the popular computer game, Age of Empires, for these bizarre occurrences. A Microsoft spokesperson told our correspondent, Mike Jones, “Either buy something or get out!” The case remains unsolved.
Monkey Ball Madness:
In Tokoyo, Japan, there have been many people taking to large fibreglass balls and rolling about the city in a reckless fashion. There have being 35 instances where passers-by have been crushed by these rolling balls, however Godzilla is still at the top of the crush-o-meter with a whopping 54,005 crushes this year. The balls are becoming something of a craze in the country, and top developers Sony have designed their own ball which is supposedly going to available to the public next year. Rumours state it will be known as “The happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball”. Experts have linked these crazy rolling balls to those featured in the hit video game, super monkey ball, in which moneys are rolled about in balls over a series of tricky platforms. The ‘happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball stadium’ for racing the ‘The happy mega ultra family fun happy super balls’ is due to open next October.
Vice City Syndrome:
In London, Manchester and pretty much every other British city, there have been reports of increasing gun crime, muggings, drug pushing and car jackings. These crimes have been linked to Rockstar North’s bestseller, Vice City. The game sees you playing the part of Tommy Vecette and working your way up through the underworld by undertaking violent criminal actions. The authorities are worried that the youth of today are following the game in hope of riches and respect. Others believe that this lying, cheating and anti-social behaviour is in homage to Prime Minister Tony Blair. However it is argued that this so-called Vice City syndrome was not sparked by the release of the game, but has in fact being going on a lot longer by groups of inbred morons otherwise known as “townies”. Investigations continue, innit.
Tetris Insomnia:
The box making industry has been thrown into disarray due to the sudden illness of many of their £1.50 an hour Korean workers. The works are not physically ill, as such, but they are no longer able to do the harsh manual labour they are paid for. They have contracted the illness from a crate of Gameboys that arrived from Taiwan and contained a batch of Tetris games. The workers began to play the games, holding small tournaments to see who could get the highest score – but things spilled over into reality. The workers no longer carried the boxes and crates to the location the label read, but instead began stacking them at the bottom of the warehouse, leaving no spaces between any of them. Once a line of crates is complete, one of the workers drives a lorry into them and ‘clears the row’, meaning more boxes can be stacked there. Bosses are puzzled.
So there we are, a modern case study into game related illnesses. They are real and they’re not something to be laughed at. Most people thing it won’t happen to them, just like getting your penis caught in a zip. You can laugh and joke about it but then all of a sudden ‘Zzzzzz’ “ARGHHH!”, “We’ve got a bleeder.”
Scientists would have us believe gaming is addictive, much like the heroin I inject hourly, the cigarettes I smoke 50 of a day, and the lager I was my burger and chips down with at breakfast. But is it true that gaming draws us in and gets us hooked? Are there such things as gaming illnesses? Paradox investigates….
Age Of Empires Affliction:
There have been cases reported, mostly in Mexico (Where the original AOE game has just been released) that many people are moving out into the wilderness and building town centres. They then start farms and lumber camps and slowly build a town up. This is all well and good, as these towns are better quality than the poorly-build Mexican towns, however once these town are built the people are waging war on each other, mostly using novelty swords and plastic bows and arrows, until one civilisation is declared supreme. Nobody has died so far, but there have being a dangerous number of eye gougings and liver stealings. Experts blame the popular computer game, Age of Empires, for these bizarre occurrences. A Microsoft spokesperson told our correspondent, Mike Jones, “Either buy something or get out!” The case remains unsolved.
Monkey Ball Madness:
In Tokoyo, Japan, there have been many people taking to large fibreglass balls and rolling about the city in a reckless fashion. There have being 35 instances where passers-by have been crushed by these rolling balls, however Godzilla is still at the top of the crush-o-meter with a whopping 54,005 crushes this year. The balls are becoming something of a craze in the country, and top developers Sony have designed their own ball which is supposedly going to available to the public next year. Rumours state it will be known as “The happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball”. Experts have linked these crazy rolling balls to those featured in the hit video game, super monkey ball, in which moneys are rolled about in balls over a series of tricky platforms. The ‘happy mega ultra family fun happy super ball stadium’ for racing the ‘The happy mega ultra family fun happy super balls’ is due to open next October.
Vice City Syndrome:
In London, Manchester and pretty much every other British city, there have been reports of increasing gun crime, muggings, drug pushing and car jackings. These crimes have been linked to Rockstar North’s bestseller, Vice City. The game sees you playing the part of Tommy Vecette and working your way up through the underworld by undertaking violent criminal actions. The authorities are worried that the youth of today are following the game in hope of riches and respect. Others believe that this lying, cheating and anti-social behaviour is in homage to Prime Minister Tony Blair. However it is argued that this so-called Vice City syndrome was not sparked by the release of the game, but has in fact being going on a lot longer by groups of inbred morons otherwise known as “townies”. Investigations continue, innit.
Tetris Insomnia:
The box making industry has been thrown into disarray due to the sudden illness of many of their £1.50 an hour Korean workers. The works are not physically ill, as such, but they are no longer able to do the harsh manual labour they are paid for. They have contracted the illness from a crate of Gameboys that arrived from Taiwan and contained a batch of Tetris games. The workers began to play the games, holding small tournaments to see who could get the highest score – but things spilled over into reality. The workers no longer carried the boxes and crates to the location the label read, but instead began stacking them at the bottom of the warehouse, leaving no spaces between any of them. Once a line of crates is complete, one of the workers drives a lorry into them and ‘clears the row’, meaning more boxes can be stacked there. Bosses are puzzled.
So there we are, a modern case study into game related illnesses. They are real and they’re not something to be laughed at. Most people thing it won’t happen to them, just like getting your penis caught in a zip. You can laugh and joke about it but then all of a sudden ‘Zzzzzz’ “ARGHHH!”, “We’ve got a bleeder.”