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Who needs to be given free games the most? I think the answer is: small children who only get £1 pocket money a month and have to walk to school in the snow wearing one clog.
Who needs to be given free games the least? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who earn pots of blood-money working for evil uber-corporations, and who should be doing something productive with their time instead of collecting Pokemon.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so tearfully grateful at SR's generosity that they would become customers for life? I think the answer is: small children who...etc.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so jaded and cynical that five seconds after getting their prize they would rush off to Game, sell heroin to a passing schoolgirl and then get together with an asylum seeker to eat an ENGLISH baby? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who...etc.
But how can these two disparate groups get the free game they so desperately need? By writing a review.
And who is in a better position to write a winning review? Poor illiterate 10 year old Timmy, who cannot hear himself think over the noise of his consumptive mother's death-rattle cough? Or Adolf, our highly literate twenty-something who sits dictionary in one hand, absinthe in the other, while he dictates his decadent musings to an enslaved Filipino boy formerly in the employ of Robert Kilroy-Silk?
I think we know the answer.
Is this right? Or fair? Can we stand to live like this any longer?
Rise up, my children, you have nothing to lose but your regular staus!
ps In the event that I submit a review in the near future, please disregard this post.
Who needs to be given free games the least? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who earn pots of blood-money working for evil uber-corporations, and who should be doing something productive with their time instead of collecting Pokemon.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so tearfully grateful at SR's generosity that they would become customers for life? I think the answer is: small children who...etc.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so jaded and cynical that five seconds after getting their prize they would rush off to Game, sell heroin to a passing schoolgirl and then get together with an asylum seeker to eat an ENGLISH baby? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who...etc.
But how can these two disparate groups get the free game they so desperately need? By writing a review.
And who is in a better position to write a winning review? Poor illiterate 10 year old Timmy, who cannot hear himself think over the noise of his consumptive mother's death-rattle cough? Or Adolf, our highly literate twenty-something who sits dictionary in one hand, absinthe in the other, while he dictates his decadent musings to an enslaved Filipino boy formerly in the employ of Robert Kilroy-Silk?
I think we know the answer.
Is this right? Or fair? Can we stand to live like this any longer?
Rise up, my children, you have nothing to lose but your regular staus!
ps In the event that I submit a review in the near future, please disregard this post.
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Who needs to be given free games the most? I think the answer is: small children who only get £1 pocket money a month and have to walk to school in the snow wearing one clog.
Who needs to be given free games the least? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who earn pots of blood-money working for evil uber-corporations, and who should be doing something productive with their time instead of collecting Pokemon.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so tearfully grateful at SR's generosity that they would become customers for life? I think the answer is: small children who...etc.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so jaded and cynical that five seconds after getting their prize they would rush off to Game, sell heroin to a passing schoolgirl and then get together with an asylum seeker to eat an ENGLISH baby? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who...etc.
But how can these two disparate groups get the free game they so desperately need? By writing a review.
And who is in a better position to write a winning review? Poor illiterate 10 year old Timmy, who cannot hear himself think over the noise of his consumptive mother's death-rattle cough? Or Adolf, our highly literate twenty-something who sits dictionary in one hand, absinthe in the other, while he dictates his decadent musings to an enslaved Filipino boy formerly in the employ of Robert Kilroy-Silk?
I think we know the answer.
Is this right? Or fair? Can we stand to live like this any longer?
Rise up, my children, you have nothing to lose but your regular staus!
ps In the event that I submit a review in the near future, please disregard this post.
Who needs to be given free games the least? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who earn pots of blood-money working for evil uber-corporations, and who should be doing something productive with their time instead of collecting Pokemon.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so tearfully grateful at SR's generosity that they would become customers for life? I think the answer is: small children who...etc.
Who, after winning GAD, would be so jaded and cynical that five seconds after getting their prize they would rush off to Game, sell heroin to a passing schoolgirl and then get together with an asylum seeker to eat an ENGLISH baby? I think the answer is: highly literate twenty-somethings who...etc.
But how can these two disparate groups get the free game they so desperately need? By writing a review.
And who is in a better position to write a winning review? Poor illiterate 10 year old Timmy, who cannot hear himself think over the noise of his consumptive mother's death-rattle cough? Or Adolf, our highly literate twenty-something who sits dictionary in one hand, absinthe in the other, while he dictates his decadent musings to an enslaved Filipino boy formerly in the employ of Robert Kilroy-Silk?
I think we know the answer.
Is this right? Or fair? Can we stand to live like this any longer?
Rise up, my children, you have nothing to lose but your regular staus!
ps In the event that I submit a review in the near future, please disregard this post.
I hope this post doesn't win GAD
I hope it does. It's fantastic :)
Totally true, too.
Totally true, too.
Because Unknown Kernal feels so strongly about this, he has agreed to return all thirteen of his wins to Special Reserve so that they can give them all to a charity of their choice.
Excellent
What an excellent, excellent post! Made me laugh for ages.
It was amusing. It amused me. Hear? I love you.
If this posts wins GAD I'll hurl myself under a bus, whilst giggling like an alcoholic hobo with a bottle of cleaning fluid under his arm.
SR are an evil faceless corporation (Since BEARDS left) and they only care about reviews that promote games, and thus increase sales, which equals more money for them. They also keep us glued to the forums so when our computer fan stops twirling or our hard drive is full of porn, we will buy a new one from SR.
They're not a charity and everyone has a chance to enter reviews, granted we can't express ourselves fully with expletives, but it's almost a prize winning democracy. Almost.
SR are an evil faceless corporation (Since BEARDS left) and they only care about reviews that promote games, and thus increase sales, which equals more money for them. They also keep us glued to the forums so when our computer fan stops twirling or our hard drive is full of porn, we will buy a new one from SR.
They're not a charity and everyone has a chance to enter reviews, granted we can't express ourselves fully with expletives, but it's almost a prize winning democracy. Almost.
Paradox: wrote:
> If this posts wins GAD I'll hurl myself under a bus, whilst giggling
> like an alcoholic hobo with a bottle of cleaning fluid under his
> arm.
I hope it wins now.
> If this posts wins GAD I'll hurl myself under a bus, whilst giggling
> like an alcoholic hobo with a bottle of cleaning fluid under his
> arm.
I hope it wins now.
Me too.
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