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"The Maths of Cheesy Music?"

A friend and I are currently creating a small animation series called Captain Catering, which is a cross between Postman Pat and Batman.

However, I've taken it upon myself to create the theme tune. And it's driving me mad.

The idea is to get a really chirpy cheesy theme, and for two examples, I have the Batman ['69] theme tune and the Stingray theme.

I've been sitting at a keyboard, playing my sax, even messing around with a harmonica. I have a guitar [I broke the D string], and I had a go with that too. But I am really, really stumped.

The other thing I have is Fruity Loops Studio 4, which is a little program for synthesised music. In all honesty the instruments sound rubbish, but it's probably just me.

I really, REALLY can't get anything. I've come up with a few crappy little riffs, but all I can do is try and work out, mathmatically, a way to do a theme tune.

Basically:

It needs to be around a minute long.

It needs a nice low bassline, something bouncy that carries the whole music.

Drums need to be quite fast and strong, something a little quirky that doesn't sound repetitive.

And it'd be nice to have a brass main theme over the top of it. Because well, that's what theme tunes need.

I'm not trying to get the greatest song ever, christ, I'm doing a song by numbers, I'm sure you're not supposed to do that. But it'ss drrrivvingg mee maaaadddddddd

[I was actually going to just get us to sing Moonriver for the titles, but if we were going to approach anyone with the animations then we'd have to pay to use it, with money I don't have. Shame.]

Peter Gunn?

Gimme Some Lovin' is another great song from Blues Brothers, what a film that was.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> The idea is to get a really chirpy cheesy theme, and for two
> examples, I have the Batman ['69] theme tune and the Stingray theme.


If you blend Batman, Stingray and that one from the Blues Brothers*, and steal bits from all of them, you might come up with something original enough not to get you into trouble. And it'd probably own. After all, most songs sound a bit like ofther songs, at least in parts.

*The one that goes:
Naaaaaa na
Naaaaaa na naaaaa
Na na na naa naa na na na na na na na na naaaa (na na naaa)....

"like a mad man scraping burnt toast"

that made me chuckle.

In my view, the following tunes should be 'gelled' together to make the aforementioned masterpiece :

John Lennons Imagine
The Benny Hill Theme
Gary Jules Mad World
Cab Calloway - Minnie the Moocher

interspersed with the sound of a thousand ferrets trying to push a wheelie bin up a flight of stairs.

I've got some music you can have:

bwaaap bwaaap bbooop bop diiingg waa waaahhh waa waaahhh,
bwaaap bwaaap bbooop bop diiingg waa waaahhh waa waaahhh,

"sound of plates smashing, and a microwave oven's ping reverberating into infinity".

Then 50 toasters pop in unison and someone plays the skiffle board like a mad man scraping burnt toast.

It's a sure fire hit.

could you integrate the batfink theme in there somewhere? that'd be sweet.

Or go for the Anime approach and either get some cute animal to sing the theme or 'borrow' an old 50's classic lounge tune.

I'm still swinging between styles. Either Stingray type, or Moonriver type. I love the Stingray theme far too much though.

I've just finished the final design for the Monkey Mobile, just need to make it now. Think sadistic manic-depressive K.I.T.T.

Why cheesy? Why not use big sweeping chords which will give off a pretentious air and thus become cheesy by being out of place? Er...

I think the best thing to do, is get my guitar, keyboard and er, harmonica in a room, get absolutely sloshed and see what I come up with. I should do that tonight.

I think the most mathematical thing I can do is smash my face into the keyboard over and over and record it.

The thing with having a small budget is that you're forced to be creative. Damn.