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Snow, also known as “That white stuff yonder” by Rednecks, falls to the ground in winter time, and also in every Christmas movie ever made. Snow is fun in small doses but too much snow could leave you coughing up blood or in bed with a man.
Snow, of course, has fun uses that are depicted in movies. You can make a snowman by rolling a ball of snow along the snowy ground until it gets bigger and bigger. Then shove a carrot (or two) in the snowman in the correct place(s). The snowman can last up to a week and has many uses including acting as an outdoor scarf holder, a deterrent for shortsighted burglars and something, besides your mother-in-law to urinate against. There is a chance that your snowman can become enchanted and take your children or significant others flying, or “walking in the air” as experts call it. If this does happen either carefully aim a 9mm pistol or shotgun towards the abdomen of the snowman, or call snow-busters on 0870 595 595!
When the snowman is gone you will have to make alternative forms of entertainment; I suggest digging a large pit in your garden and covering it with a tarpaulin and putting a thin layer of snow on top of it. Start a game of catch with a loved one and throw the ball or object onto the tarpaulin; when they go to retrieve it they will fall into your pit and negotiations can begin on who is making the Christmas dinner this year. To spice it up a notch, just add Scorpions.
After the fun of snow is over, there are always the dangers that people just don’t see coming. Some young ruffians think it is funny to make figures in the snow called “Snow Angels”. This involves lying in the snow and spreading your arms and legs in a sideways motion until the patch of snow where you have been lying looks like an angel. This, experts believe, is a modern equivalent of crop circles and a phenomenon not to be taken lightly. The last occurrence of a snow angel was reported by an elderly woman walking her pet poodle, Alfie. They came across the forth mentioned ‘snow angel’ and were immediately shocked. “We thought it was a sign from the lord above” she said. The incident lasted 2 weeks and involved a forensics squad, a team of 20 sniffer dogs and the Pope and lasted until a young hooligan admitted it was him that made the ‘angel prints’ in the snow. He was promptly arrested and executed the good ol’ American way.
Another danger of snow is one that people never think of: snowboarding. Sledging started it all off with its down the hill antics, but when skateboarding became popular it was only a matter of time until snowboarding became the national winter sport of homosexuals. Think about it, a group of husky men going up a mountain together, alone, and then coming down a while later on boards (presumably because they cannot walk due to the hideous amount of bum sex they’ve had) with big smiles on their faces. It is evil. Evil, and of course should not be tried at home.
Snowball fights are something people would assume would go into the “fun” category. Those people are all stupid and may or may not have herpes. Snowball fights are sick, and a form of racial hatred and bullying. Why? Because the minorities are always singled out. “Lets pelt the fat kid, the weedy kid, that kid with three nostrils” These tiresome shenanigans have not gone unnoticed by experts who study children in a non-paedophilic way. Some people find it funny to take snowball fights too far and inside the snowballs they will place objects of evil such as rocks, marmite and squeaky dog toys. It is true that a small minority spoils it for the majority but sadly that is the way in which snowball fights have gone.
Here ends the guide to snow, I hope it has been a valuble lesson for all concerned. Heed my warnings and you shall fare well, falter from my guidelines and you shall fall victim to dastardly plots of snow and sleet. I leave you with one last piece of advice,
Don’t eat yellow snow.
Snow, of course, has fun uses that are depicted in movies. You can make a snowman by rolling a ball of snow along the snowy ground until it gets bigger and bigger. Then shove a carrot (or two) in the snowman in the correct place(s). The snowman can last up to a week and has many uses including acting as an outdoor scarf holder, a deterrent for shortsighted burglars and something, besides your mother-in-law to urinate against. There is a chance that your snowman can become enchanted and take your children or significant others flying, or “walking in the air” as experts call it. If this does happen either carefully aim a 9mm pistol or shotgun towards the abdomen of the snowman, or call snow-busters on 0870 595 595!
When the snowman is gone you will have to make alternative forms of entertainment; I suggest digging a large pit in your garden and covering it with a tarpaulin and putting a thin layer of snow on top of it. Start a game of catch with a loved one and throw the ball or object onto the tarpaulin; when they go to retrieve it they will fall into your pit and negotiations can begin on who is making the Christmas dinner this year. To spice it up a notch, just add Scorpions.
After the fun of snow is over, there are always the dangers that people just don’t see coming. Some young ruffians think it is funny to make figures in the snow called “Snow Angels”. This involves lying in the snow and spreading your arms and legs in a sideways motion until the patch of snow where you have been lying looks like an angel. This, experts believe, is a modern equivalent of crop circles and a phenomenon not to be taken lightly. The last occurrence of a snow angel was reported by an elderly woman walking her pet poodle, Alfie. They came across the forth mentioned ‘snow angel’ and were immediately shocked. “We thought it was a sign from the lord above” she said. The incident lasted 2 weeks and involved a forensics squad, a team of 20 sniffer dogs and the Pope and lasted until a young hooligan admitted it was him that made the ‘angel prints’ in the snow. He was promptly arrested and executed the good ol’ American way.
Another danger of snow is one that people never think of: snowboarding. Sledging started it all off with its down the hill antics, but when skateboarding became popular it was only a matter of time until snowboarding became the national winter sport of homosexuals. Think about it, a group of husky men going up a mountain together, alone, and then coming down a while later on boards (presumably because they cannot walk due to the hideous amount of bum sex they’ve had) with big smiles on their faces. It is evil. Evil, and of course should not be tried at home.
Snowball fights are something people would assume would go into the “fun” category. Those people are all stupid and may or may not have herpes. Snowball fights are sick, and a form of racial hatred and bullying. Why? Because the minorities are always singled out. “Lets pelt the fat kid, the weedy kid, that kid with three nostrils” These tiresome shenanigans have not gone unnoticed by experts who study children in a non-paedophilic way. Some people find it funny to take snowball fights too far and inside the snowballs they will place objects of evil such as rocks, marmite and squeaky dog toys. It is true that a small minority spoils it for the majority but sadly that is the way in which snowball fights have gone.
Here ends the guide to snow, I hope it has been a valuble lesson for all concerned. Heed my warnings and you shall fare well, falter from my guidelines and you shall fall victim to dastardly plots of snow and sleet. I leave you with one last piece of advice,
Don’t eat yellow snow.
I'd recommened brown snow, though.
Most delicious.
Most delicious.
HAHHAHAhHHAAAHHAAHAAAAA!
HAHAHA!
HAHAHA!
yup, and I appreciate it muchly :-)
What you getting for xmas?
What you getting for xmas?
I had to insult you with a Christmas theme now, didn't I?
:D
:D
:-)
What a load of balls, and I don't mean the snow kind.
I see, those dots are meant to look like snow. Right Cyclone.
Right?
Right?
...
.....
.....
Odly enough it's started snowing now.
Snow, also known as “That white stuff yonder” by Rednecks, falls to the ground in winter time, and also in every Christmas movie ever made. Snow is fun in small doses but too much snow could leave you coughing up blood or in bed with a man.
Snow, of course, has fun uses that are depicted in movies. You can make a snowman by rolling a ball of snow along the snowy ground until it gets bigger and bigger. Then shove a carrot (or two) in the snowman in the correct place(s). The snowman can last up to a week and has many uses including acting as an outdoor scarf holder, a deterrent for shortsighted burglars and something, besides your mother-in-law to urinate against. There is a chance that your snowman can become enchanted and take your children or significant others flying, or “walking in the air” as experts call it. If this does happen either carefully aim a 9mm pistol or shotgun towards the abdomen of the snowman, or call snow-busters on 0870 595 595!
When the snowman is gone you will have to make alternative forms of entertainment; I suggest digging a large pit in your garden and covering it with a tarpaulin and putting a thin layer of snow on top of it. Start a game of catch with a loved one and throw the ball or object onto the tarpaulin; when they go to retrieve it they will fall into your pit and negotiations can begin on who is making the Christmas dinner this year. To spice it up a notch, just add Scorpions.
After the fun of snow is over, there are always the dangers that people just don’t see coming. Some young ruffians think it is funny to make figures in the snow called “Snow Angels”. This involves lying in the snow and spreading your arms and legs in a sideways motion until the patch of snow where you have been lying looks like an angel. This, experts believe, is a modern equivalent of crop circles and a phenomenon not to be taken lightly. The last occurrence of a snow angel was reported by an elderly woman walking her pet poodle, Alfie. They came across the forth mentioned ‘snow angel’ and were immediately shocked. “We thought it was a sign from the lord above” she said. The incident lasted 2 weeks and involved a forensics squad, a team of 20 sniffer dogs and the Pope and lasted until a young hooligan admitted it was him that made the ‘angel prints’ in the snow. He was promptly arrested and executed the good ol’ American way.
Another danger of snow is one that people never think of: snowboarding. Sledging started it all off with its down the hill antics, but when skateboarding became popular it was only a matter of time until snowboarding became the national winter sport of homosexuals. Think about it, a group of husky men going up a mountain together, alone, and then coming down a while later on boards (presumably because they cannot walk due to the hideous amount of bum sex they’ve had) with big smiles on their faces. It is evil. Evil, and of course should not be tried at home.
Snowball fights are something people would assume would go into the “fun” category. Those people are all stupid and may or may not have herpes. Snowball fights are sick, and a form of racial hatred and bullying. Why? Because the minorities are always singled out. “Lets pelt the fat kid, the weedy kid, that kid with three nostrils” These tiresome shenanigans have not gone unnoticed by experts who study children in a non-paedophilic way. Some people find it funny to take snowball fights too far and inside the snowballs they will place objects of evil such as rocks, marmite and squeaky dog toys. It is true that a small minority spoils it for the majority but sadly that is the way in which snowball fights have gone.
Here ends the guide to snow, I hope it has been a valuble lesson for all concerned. Heed my warnings and you shall fare well, falter from my guidelines and you shall fall victim to dastardly plots of snow and sleet. I leave you with one last piece of advice,
Don’t eat yellow snow.
Snow, of course, has fun uses that are depicted in movies. You can make a snowman by rolling a ball of snow along the snowy ground until it gets bigger and bigger. Then shove a carrot (or two) in the snowman in the correct place(s). The snowman can last up to a week and has many uses including acting as an outdoor scarf holder, a deterrent for shortsighted burglars and something, besides your mother-in-law to urinate against. There is a chance that your snowman can become enchanted and take your children or significant others flying, or “walking in the air” as experts call it. If this does happen either carefully aim a 9mm pistol or shotgun towards the abdomen of the snowman, or call snow-busters on 0870 595 595!
When the snowman is gone you will have to make alternative forms of entertainment; I suggest digging a large pit in your garden and covering it with a tarpaulin and putting a thin layer of snow on top of it. Start a game of catch with a loved one and throw the ball or object onto the tarpaulin; when they go to retrieve it they will fall into your pit and negotiations can begin on who is making the Christmas dinner this year. To spice it up a notch, just add Scorpions.
After the fun of snow is over, there are always the dangers that people just don’t see coming. Some young ruffians think it is funny to make figures in the snow called “Snow Angels”. This involves lying in the snow and spreading your arms and legs in a sideways motion until the patch of snow where you have been lying looks like an angel. This, experts believe, is a modern equivalent of crop circles and a phenomenon not to be taken lightly. The last occurrence of a snow angel was reported by an elderly woman walking her pet poodle, Alfie. They came across the forth mentioned ‘snow angel’ and were immediately shocked. “We thought it was a sign from the lord above” she said. The incident lasted 2 weeks and involved a forensics squad, a team of 20 sniffer dogs and the Pope and lasted until a young hooligan admitted it was him that made the ‘angel prints’ in the snow. He was promptly arrested and executed the good ol’ American way.
Another danger of snow is one that people never think of: snowboarding. Sledging started it all off with its down the hill antics, but when skateboarding became popular it was only a matter of time until snowboarding became the national winter sport of homosexuals. Think about it, a group of husky men going up a mountain together, alone, and then coming down a while later on boards (presumably because they cannot walk due to the hideous amount of bum sex they’ve had) with big smiles on their faces. It is evil. Evil, and of course should not be tried at home.
Snowball fights are something people would assume would go into the “fun” category. Those people are all stupid and may or may not have herpes. Snowball fights are sick, and a form of racial hatred and bullying. Why? Because the minorities are always singled out. “Lets pelt the fat kid, the weedy kid, that kid with three nostrils” These tiresome shenanigans have not gone unnoticed by experts who study children in a non-paedophilic way. Some people find it funny to take snowball fights too far and inside the snowballs they will place objects of evil such as rocks, marmite and squeaky dog toys. It is true that a small minority spoils it for the majority but sadly that is the way in which snowball fights have gone.
Here ends the guide to snow, I hope it has been a valuble lesson for all concerned. Heed my warnings and you shall fare well, falter from my guidelines and you shall fall victim to dastardly plots of snow and sleet. I leave you with one last piece of advice,
Don’t eat yellow snow.