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So we all sit down at around mid-day, and prawn cocktails and slices of melon are plonked down in front of us. After Mike's comments regarding what the melon and cramberry sauce looked like, none of us ate our s**tarters... and jus**t attacked the booze. We couldn't see any lager or cider - which is what I usually drink - so we all grabbed a bottle of white wine... each. We'd finished off two bottles by the time the main course arrived. Mike continued to make comments - this time regarding a wedge of s**tuffing and some cramberry jelly - but we all told him to feck off and continued eating and polishing of loads more wine. By 12:30, the three of us had drank five bottles of white wine between us and were now on the red wine.
After more drinks, and some Chris**tmas pudding - which I can't s**tand, but I was so was**ted I ate a whole plate full - it came to 1:15pm and we all clocked back in... totally drunk. After a few minutes of mucking around in the warehouse, we all s**taggered onto the shop floor. Mike completely disappeared, and me and Steve went to checkouts; Steve opened up a checkout and s**tarted serving, and I went on his checkout and s**tarted packing bags. After a few minutes I got bored so I wandered off and went back to my frozen food aisle, and after that it gets hazy.
I can remember talking to cus**tomers - though what I said I have no idea; I might have proposed or made death threats, I have no idea - then I can remember needing to go to the loo so I s**tagged back into the warehouse, sat on the toilet and passed out. Then I remember waking up and jus**t vomiting. Everywhere. And vomiting everywhere again.
Apparently, it took some s**taff an hour to figure out who was in the cubicle and get me out... then another half hour to persuade me to tell them where I lived so they could take me home. Then I remember this guy Luke walking me home and getting me home at around 4pm, at which point I passed out. Then I woke up at around 9:30 and vomited again. Then passed out again.
Of course being a full timer means I'm in work almos**t every day... and today I had to be in at 10am again. I woke up at 8:30, and my firs**t thought was that I remembered vomiting all over my shoes and that they'd need cleaning. But it turned out my mum had cleaned them. I got to work - looking and smelling like sh*t - a few minutes early, and throughout the entire day I've been gagging and telling people to talk quieter or go away altogether. One bint off of the Pharmacy even said "You deserve a hangover! You're not getting any sympathy from me!" and I told her to shut up and that I didn't want her sympathy... I wanted to sleep!
Also, Steve was apparently told to go home because he was so rat-ar$ed, at which point he s**tood up on a checkout chair and was repeatedly shouting "TA-RAAAAAA!!!" to cus**tomers at the top of his voice. Also, the mys**tery of why there was a flourescent orange coat - the kind the back-door s**taff wear at work - was on my sofa was explained to me: apprently, I wore it home.
So overall, I've learned that Sainsbury's Chris**tmas Dinners are evil. And mixing red wine with white wine is s**tupid.
The end.
> Lawrence wrote:
> in which case my current
> play thing will take me home!
>
> *twiddles thumbs*
ha ha ha u know who im talking about!
> in which case my current
> play thing will take me home!
*twiddles thumbs*
> OH GOD THE AMOUNT OF LAUGHTER I JUST HAD!! Nice one Mark.. you always
> live up to your expectations. :D
> Wales
> Cymru
Cymru
We'll have a couple of pints there before the coach comes. They are planning on getting me totally wrecked and said I won't need any money.
The only trouble is, is that I'll be off to the Villa Vs Wolves match the next morning.
What a weekend!