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December 25th - Probably the most well known date in the calendar, It marks Christmas day, the day that Jesus Christ, according to Christian religion, was born.
Origins of Christmas.
Jesus Christ was the son of the Virgin Mary (contradictions already) and was born in a stable in Bethlehem. The origins of gift giving occurred when the "Three Wise Men" - no one is quite sure whether they were actually wise or just called themselves that - brought frankincense, gold and myrrh to the baby Jesus as gifts. Gift giving comes from that, and the combined effort of a French saint, St. Nicholas, who would dress up and give gifts to the poor on Christmas day. Gradually over time “Santa Claus” has developed from St. Nicks dress sense (he was originally blue or green - controversy surrounds this, but Coca-Cola changed his colour to red for their own advertising needs, and it has stuck) and the fact that he gives gifts. Now widespread presents are shared with children and adults alike, much to a lot of people’s dismay (including mine) as you have to reach deep into the wallet for your precious money.
Conspiracy?
We all know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist (If you are under the age of 8 then Santa Claus exists and I am lying. If you are not under the age of 8 and you still believe in Santa Claus then grow up you little pipsqueak, Santa Claus doesn’t exist and never has, your parents have lied. No, don’t cry. Yes, you can have that butcher knife. Your parents? I think they are in the living room. Bye.)
Anyway, Santa Claus is the largest conspiracy/shared lie to be told. Think of the multitude of young kids that believe in that fat man’s existence. Horrible really, like torture. My friend is a real liberator of pain and he went into a Primary 3 class and released all those poor kids from their pain,. Telling them Santa Claus was a fraud and at best a paedophile old man that sneaked down chimneys and perved at people through windows. Such a noble gesture, I don’t know why they cried…
Christmas in the Past and Present
As my father would have you know, in his day he got nothing more than an orange or an apple and maybe a comic book for Christmas and if his parents really wanted to splash out then a few sweets. Nowadays all the spoilt brats want the latest in computer technology, games, CD’s, game consoles and the whole works. You see them queuing in the local Woolworth’s, “I want the Xbox and the PS2 daddy!!” and the poor man breaks his back carrying the combined weight. Another thing about Christmas is how commercialised it is. The stuff for it, (crackers, food) is out before Halloween ends in October! In fact at the start of November I was in the local Tesco’s and I saw some mince pies.
“Something is afoot here” I says to myself.
And sure enough, there was. “Yummy mince pies can be heated and served straight onto the Christmas table!” Well I didn’t think that Christmas was the 1st of December, because that was when the best before date ran out.
Is Santa Evil?
In a word, yes. In another word no. We cannot be sure if Santa is evil or not, but there are some things mark able about him:
Santa - An anagram for Satan. This is highly suspicious.
He dresses in red - The devil is associated with red.
He has a beard/moustache - All evil people have beards/moustaches - Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin, my dad.
He says the word “ho” - Slang for prostitute - Is Santa a pimp? Is his sleigh a pimp mobile?
He has elves work for him - Elves, handicapped people who are forced into slave labour for a corrupt and evil tyrant. (Santa Claus)
He comes down peoples chimneys - A classical burglar move.
He has a red nose - Alcohol abuse.
I can think of more, but I won’t, as it is late and I am tired. Until Easter, my amigos, when I dig up the dirt on the Easter Bunny and reveal what he actually does with those eggs.
Origins of Christmas.
Jesus Christ was the son of the Virgin Mary (contradictions already) and was born in a stable in Bethlehem. The origins of gift giving occurred when the "Three Wise Men" - no one is quite sure whether they were actually wise or just called themselves that - brought frankincense, gold and myrrh to the baby Jesus as gifts. Gift giving comes from that, and the combined effort of a French saint, St. Nicholas, who would dress up and give gifts to the poor on Christmas day. Gradually over time “Santa Claus” has developed from St. Nicks dress sense (he was originally blue or green - controversy surrounds this, but Coca-Cola changed his colour to red for their own advertising needs, and it has stuck) and the fact that he gives gifts. Now widespread presents are shared with children and adults alike, much to a lot of people’s dismay (including mine) as you have to reach deep into the wallet for your precious money.
Conspiracy?
We all know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist (If you are under the age of 8 then Santa Claus exists and I am lying. If you are not under the age of 8 and you still believe in Santa Claus then grow up you little pipsqueak, Santa Claus doesn’t exist and never has, your parents have lied. No, don’t cry. Yes, you can have that butcher knife. Your parents? I think they are in the living room. Bye.)
Anyway, Santa Claus is the largest conspiracy/shared lie to be told. Think of the multitude of young kids that believe in that fat man’s existence. Horrible really, like torture. My friend is a real liberator of pain and he went into a Primary 3 class and released all those poor kids from their pain,. Telling them Santa Claus was a fraud and at best a paedophile old man that sneaked down chimneys and perved at people through windows. Such a noble gesture, I don’t know why they cried…
Christmas in the Past and Present
As my father would have you know, in his day he got nothing more than an orange or an apple and maybe a comic book for Christmas and if his parents really wanted to splash out then a few sweets. Nowadays all the spoilt brats want the latest in computer technology, games, CD’s, game consoles and the whole works. You see them queuing in the local Woolworth’s, “I want the Xbox and the PS2 daddy!!” and the poor man breaks his back carrying the combined weight. Another thing about Christmas is how commercialised it is. The stuff for it, (crackers, food) is out before Halloween ends in October! In fact at the start of November I was in the local Tesco’s and I saw some mince pies.
“Something is afoot here” I says to myself.
And sure enough, there was. “Yummy mince pies can be heated and served straight onto the Christmas table!” Well I didn’t think that Christmas was the 1st of December, because that was when the best before date ran out.
Is Santa Evil?
In a word, yes. In another word no. We cannot be sure if Santa is evil or not, but there are some things mark able about him:
Santa - An anagram for Satan. This is highly suspicious.
He dresses in red - The devil is associated with red.
He has a beard/moustache - All evil people have beards/moustaches - Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin, my dad.
He says the word “ho” - Slang for prostitute - Is Santa a pimp? Is his sleigh a pimp mobile?
He has elves work for him - Elves, handicapped people who are forced into slave labour for a corrupt and evil tyrant. (Santa Claus)
He comes down peoples chimneys - A classical burglar move.
He has a red nose - Alcohol abuse.
I can think of more, but I won’t, as it is late and I am tired. Until Easter, my amigos, when I dig up the dirt on the Easter Bunny and reveal what he actually does with those eggs.
Yes, it does bear certain hallmarks to you so it must be stupid.
What a stupid intro
Heh, some funny and also valid points.
I'm not religious in the slightest, so all christmas means to me is overindulgence, getting together with friends and family, and lots of debt.
I'm not religious in the slightest, so all christmas means to me is overindulgence, getting together with friends and family, and lots of debt.
December 25th - Probably the most well known date in the calendar, It marks Christmas day, the day that Jesus Christ, according to Christian religion, was born.
Origins of Christmas.
Jesus Christ was the son of the Virgin Mary (contradictions already) and was born in a stable in Bethlehem. The origins of gift giving occurred when the "Three Wise Men" - no one is quite sure whether they were actually wise or just called themselves that - brought frankincense, gold and myrrh to the baby Jesus as gifts. Gift giving comes from that, and the combined effort of a French saint, St. Nicholas, who would dress up and give gifts to the poor on Christmas day. Gradually over time “Santa Claus” has developed from St. Nicks dress sense (he was originally blue or green - controversy surrounds this, but Coca-Cola changed his colour to red for their own advertising needs, and it has stuck) and the fact that he gives gifts. Now widespread presents are shared with children and adults alike, much to a lot of people’s dismay (including mine) as you have to reach deep into the wallet for your precious money.
Conspiracy?
We all know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist (If you are under the age of 8 then Santa Claus exists and I am lying. If you are not under the age of 8 and you still believe in Santa Claus then grow up you little pipsqueak, Santa Claus doesn’t exist and never has, your parents have lied. No, don’t cry. Yes, you can have that butcher knife. Your parents? I think they are in the living room. Bye.)
Anyway, Santa Claus is the largest conspiracy/shared lie to be told. Think of the multitude of young kids that believe in that fat man’s existence. Horrible really, like torture. My friend is a real liberator of pain and he went into a Primary 3 class and released all those poor kids from their pain,. Telling them Santa Claus was a fraud and at best a paedophile old man that sneaked down chimneys and perved at people through windows. Such a noble gesture, I don’t know why they cried…
Christmas in the Past and Present
As my father would have you know, in his day he got nothing more than an orange or an apple and maybe a comic book for Christmas and if his parents really wanted to splash out then a few sweets. Nowadays all the spoilt brats want the latest in computer technology, games, CD’s, game consoles and the whole works. You see them queuing in the local Woolworth’s, “I want the Xbox and the PS2 daddy!!” and the poor man breaks his back carrying the combined weight. Another thing about Christmas is how commercialised it is. The stuff for it, (crackers, food) is out before Halloween ends in October! In fact at the start of November I was in the local Tesco’s and I saw some mince pies.
“Something is afoot here” I says to myself.
And sure enough, there was. “Yummy mince pies can be heated and served straight onto the Christmas table!” Well I didn’t think that Christmas was the 1st of December, because that was when the best before date ran out.
Is Santa Evil?
In a word, yes. In another word no. We cannot be sure if Santa is evil or not, but there are some things mark able about him:
Santa - An anagram for Satan. This is highly suspicious.
He dresses in red - The devil is associated with red.
He has a beard/moustache - All evil people have beards/moustaches - Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin, my dad.
He says the word “ho” - Slang for prostitute - Is Santa a pimp? Is his sleigh a pimp mobile?
He has elves work for him - Elves, handicapped people who are forced into slave labour for a corrupt and evil tyrant. (Santa Claus)
He comes down peoples chimneys - A classical burglar move.
He has a red nose - Alcohol abuse.
I can think of more, but I won’t, as it is late and I am tired. Until Easter, my amigos, when I dig up the dirt on the Easter Bunny and reveal what he actually does with those eggs.
Origins of Christmas.
Jesus Christ was the son of the Virgin Mary (contradictions already) and was born in a stable in Bethlehem. The origins of gift giving occurred when the "Three Wise Men" - no one is quite sure whether they were actually wise or just called themselves that - brought frankincense, gold and myrrh to the baby Jesus as gifts. Gift giving comes from that, and the combined effort of a French saint, St. Nicholas, who would dress up and give gifts to the poor on Christmas day. Gradually over time “Santa Claus” has developed from St. Nicks dress sense (he was originally blue or green - controversy surrounds this, but Coca-Cola changed his colour to red for their own advertising needs, and it has stuck) and the fact that he gives gifts. Now widespread presents are shared with children and adults alike, much to a lot of people’s dismay (including mine) as you have to reach deep into the wallet for your precious money.
Conspiracy?
We all know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist (If you are under the age of 8 then Santa Claus exists and I am lying. If you are not under the age of 8 and you still believe in Santa Claus then grow up you little pipsqueak, Santa Claus doesn’t exist and never has, your parents have lied. No, don’t cry. Yes, you can have that butcher knife. Your parents? I think they are in the living room. Bye.)
Anyway, Santa Claus is the largest conspiracy/shared lie to be told. Think of the multitude of young kids that believe in that fat man’s existence. Horrible really, like torture. My friend is a real liberator of pain and he went into a Primary 3 class and released all those poor kids from their pain,. Telling them Santa Claus was a fraud and at best a paedophile old man that sneaked down chimneys and perved at people through windows. Such a noble gesture, I don’t know why they cried…
Christmas in the Past and Present
As my father would have you know, in his day he got nothing more than an orange or an apple and maybe a comic book for Christmas and if his parents really wanted to splash out then a few sweets. Nowadays all the spoilt brats want the latest in computer technology, games, CD’s, game consoles and the whole works. You see them queuing in the local Woolworth’s, “I want the Xbox and the PS2 daddy!!” and the poor man breaks his back carrying the combined weight. Another thing about Christmas is how commercialised it is. The stuff for it, (crackers, food) is out before Halloween ends in October! In fact at the start of November I was in the local Tesco’s and I saw some mince pies.
“Something is afoot here” I says to myself.
And sure enough, there was. “Yummy mince pies can be heated and served straight onto the Christmas table!” Well I didn’t think that Christmas was the 1st of December, because that was when the best before date ran out.
Is Santa Evil?
In a word, yes. In another word no. We cannot be sure if Santa is evil or not, but there are some things mark able about him:
Santa - An anagram for Satan. This is highly suspicious.
He dresses in red - The devil is associated with red.
He has a beard/moustache - All evil people have beards/moustaches - Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, Stalin, my dad.
He says the word “ho” - Slang for prostitute - Is Santa a pimp? Is his sleigh a pimp mobile?
He has elves work for him - Elves, handicapped people who are forced into slave labour for a corrupt and evil tyrant. (Santa Claus)
He comes down peoples chimneys - A classical burglar move.
He has a red nose - Alcohol abuse.
I can think of more, but I won’t, as it is late and I am tired. Until Easter, my amigos, when I dig up the dirt on the Easter Bunny and reveal what he actually does with those eggs.