The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
OK firstly, thanks to certain forum members for helping me out with this, you know who you are, and others for allowing me to use them.
Heh well a first spoof for me, I dunno what you guys think of it, but here goes:
...................................
Snuggly: Down and Out
Scene 1
A rather unrecognizable Snuggly sits in a GAME shop doorway, with his pet dog Loki, and a urine coloured notable as a duvet. Along walks Gigz, whistling and turns into the doorway where he is confronted by the Snuggle Meister.
Gigz: Er…. hello can I help you.
Snuggly: Gigz isn’t it? Ah I remember you. You were top poster on SR at one stage, boy how I had to protect that ban button to keep you there. What you doing in GAME?
Gigz: Er…..I was just going to er……. Graffiti the window a bit.
Snuggly: You cannot fool me young one. I know how your mind works; I have been studying you through the Ethernet cable for years now.
Gigz: So why you here? You recovered from the crash?
Snuggly: If I tell you something do you promise to keep it to yourself?
Gigz: Yeah sure.
Snuggly: There never was a crash…
Gigz: Then why did you say there was? I’m so confused.
Snuggly: That was not me. I have not been into the SR office for weeks now.
Gigz: So who’s been pretending to be you?
Snuggly: Do you remember that young Candyfloss? Used to be a great chap, we had so many laughs together. Well he went away to his posh job, and came back for a visit.
Gigz: Go on
Snuggly: Let me finish damn you. Well when he came back and saw all the mess everywhere. The Gamez Whizz’s and Games Girl’s and did not like what he saw. He kept going on about how he would not have let this happen and just seemed different. We just all thought nothing of it, that with his new job he thought he was better than us all.
Gigz: (startled) so you mean, he took over?
Snuggly: Aye, indeed he did. Came back a few days later with a few of his upper class businessmen in trail. They stormed in and just ransacked the place. Candyfloss sat down in my chair, yes MY CHAIR AND ATE MY DONUTS. The cheek of the guy, well I told him where he could stuff his ban button. You know what he replied? ‘Up IB’s ass’, and he banned IB.
Gigz: :o I thought it was you.
Snuggly: Yep so did everyone. He also banned IB, the number of letters and emails of complaints I got, Jeesh, had to empty 14 donut boxes to fit them all in.
Gigz: So Candyfloss and a few people are up in SR tower now, hitting the ban button again and again, while you’re down here, with nothing? Why I swear to avenge your death. Come on, we’ve got work to do.
Scene 2 – Gigz’s mum’s house
Gigz: Mum, I’m home.
Mam: Hi darling, who’s this with you Giles? Phewy he stink. And a dog too. Get out my house.
Gigz: No mum, you don’t understand, this man is the source of hours of endless amusement for me. Without him I would have a life, then you’d be upset.
Mam: I guess, come on in er…. what was your name?
Snuggly: Snuggly, Mr. Snuggly
Mam: err…..ok Mr. Snuggly.
Gigz: Mum, we need to do something.
Gigz and Snuggly sit down whilst Gigz explains everything to his mother.
Mam: Why that’s terrible. Are you ok? What shall we do?
Snuggly: I have a plan.
Snuggly removes a mini computer from his pocket, logs onto SR, and starts to post a message.
Gigz: (in shock) Mum I haven’t been on SR for a whole 3 hours? Whatever shall I do.
Gigz runs into the next room where he switches on the computer.
Gigz: (shocked) Look what Candyfloss has done, he’s banning everyone.
Snuggly: I know, soon there will be no one left. There is only one thing for it. I have left a message on SR for *superhero music* Ginger Girl and her evil partner Garycane. I should have a response in no time, after my recent conversation with Lil Ginge:
(flashback)
Snuggly:
SR is actually addictive
Lil Ginge:
I know
Lil Ginge:
It’s terrible
Snuggly:
I thought I could leave for good
Lil Ginger:
I should swap it for a social life
Gigz: Wow, she’s nearly as bad as me. Well no but yer.
Mam: Giles shut up and get posting.
Gigz: Yes mam.
Snuggly: Ah a response already. She really does need a life.
Gigz: Hey, posting your whole life on the Internet is not *that*bad.
Mam and Snuggly together: SHUT UP AND KEEP POSTING!!!!!
Snuggly: If you don’t mind mam, I’m gonna get some kip.
And with that, he drew up his notable, called Loki to his feet and slept.
Scene 3 – Morning
Mam: Breakfast time
Snuggly arose, to be confronted with the smell of bacon and eggs, and the site of Gigz posting on SR.
Snuggly: Good Snuggly Gigz, do you ever get off SR?
Gigz by now has bloodshot eyes, with huge gray bags beneath
Gigz: No!
All three go to the table, where mam serves them breakfast.
Snuggly: Right, we got work to do.
He puts down his knife and fork, and goes to grab Gigz frm his chair but realizes he is not there.
Snuggly: Lemme guess.
He proceeds to the computer from which he drags a screaming Gigz.
Snuggly: We got work to do.
They proceed outside where the SRmobile is parked.
Snuggly: Hop aboard.
Gigz gets in, closely followed by his mum. Snuggly starts the car and they are off.
Snuggly: First stop ESSEX.
They continue to drive for hour upon hour, with snuggly in the front driving and Gigz and his mum in the back.
Snuggly: It’s awfully quiet back there.
He looks back only to find Gigz has a wireless laptop on his lap. Snuggly grabs the laptop and throws it out the window, only to hit a passing MekaDragon on the head.
When they finally arrive at Essex, it seems GingerGirl has been waiting for them. She is sitting on a road sign, in a tight leather cat suit (orange of course) smoking weed. Her ginger bush is neatly tied back, and she has a stud through her nose. On her left hip, she carries a life size inflatable Sam. Her overly large left breast protrudes from her cat suit, it takes Snuggly a little while to point this out. She jumps in the back.
Snuggly: You get my email?
GG: Yep, all ready to go. Lets go get ‘em.
With that cry and a swipe of GG’s claw, they are off again, in search of the mysterious Garycane.
Snuggly: My Snuggleometer tells me that he is somewhere here. And as he says that, down swoops a green caped figure and lands by the roadside.
GC: Why did you have to call me? I was w*****g until 6.30 this morning, I need my sleep.
Snuggly: Er….Garycane, I think you forgot to do you flies up.
Snuggly puts his microscope away, as GC, all red with embarrassment, does up his flies.
Snuggly: Come on get in let’s be going.
They drive off into the day, toward SR towers. They arrive just before eight, by which time it is getting dark. In the journey, Gigz mysteriously disappeared, after complaining he has never been this long before without spamming SR s***less.
The night is dark, only lit by a nearly full moon. On the way, Snuggly briefed them all of their parts to play in the re-take of SR tower.
They sit in the car for another hour, waiting until the coast is clear. In that time, GC has been eyeing up a nearly co-worker of Candyfloss’s. When the coast is clear, it is go go go.
First out is Garycane, who runs at the nearby guard and takes him from behind. With him out the way, it is GingerGirls turn. She runs for the fire exit, and uses her ‘extra’ smelling breath to freeze the lock and the door swings open. She dashes up that stairs, until all her orange flair is out of site.
Next is Snuggly, who runs up the stairs behind GG, grabbing GC on his way up. As you can imagine, GC is not too pleased and tries to resist Snuggly.
With GG leading the way, all three of them make their way up the stairs. They get to the fourth floor, and GG senses something strange. She opens the door and lets out a gasp.
GG: Snuggly what is this?
In the room, are all the Notables, as well as El Pinko, djerrid, Kyz. They are all sitting there at computers on the SR page.
GG: You don’t. No, surely not. Snuggly you don’t force these poor people to post do you?
She looks around but Snuggly has gone, along with GC.
GG: Come on guys, it’s up to us to save SR.
El Pinko: But babe, we’re sick of the place, let it rot. Where do you think I was all last summer? I said I was on holiday, in Spain, but really I was held captive here. Sorry but we’re not gonna help you.
GG: Then I’ll do it alone. If I don’t I may *gulp* have to get a life.
She runs out, slamming the iron door behind her. All the notables and regulars quickly run out to freedom, other than djerrid who sits there claiming his name is still not perfect, and he will not rest until it is.
GG continues up the stairs to the 100th floor, on the way, killing Candyfloss’s army with her GingerGun. A gun that sends orange beams of light into the victim, immediately turning all their hair orange. They all instantly die of shame.
She keeps going until she reaches the head office. Snuggly’s office. She kicks the door with her orange leather boots and there in the chair sits Candyfloss, munching his way through some frosted donuts.
GG: Hahahaha you look like Homer Simpson.
Candyfloss: So good to see you again Lil Ginge.
GG: I wish I could say the feeling was mutual, as it happens I cannot.
She raises her gun and aims at Candyfloss.
GG: Say good bye pink fluffy thing.
And at the she pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. She pulls it again.
GG: Dammit!
Candy: Hahahaha your feeble technology amuses me. But now I am afraid I shall have to say goodbye.
He reaches for the banning button.
GG: Noooooooooooo. Wait look.
Candyfloss turns round, just as GG unzips her orange cat suit.
GG: Wanna come a bit closer?
Candyfloss nods and gets up, walking slowly towards GG with his mouth open and penis inflated.
GG: I think not Candyass
She kicks him once in the face, and he falls to the ground. She zips up he cat suit and goes over to where he is lying.
GG: All my life I have been at SR, and my mummy before me. And you tried to take that away from me. You tried to destroy a long line of Ginger SR users, and now, you must pay. Mum. Dad.
Two old people walk in; both with died orange hair, wearing similar cat suits to Lil Ginge. They step out the shadows and Candyfloss gives a cry.
Candy: Noooooooooooo too bright lemme outttttttt…
GG gives him a kick, and he shuts up for the moment. Over come her mum and dad.
GG: Mum dad you wanna do the honours.
GG’s Mum: We sure do.
She takes off her cat suit and jumps on top of him, licking his face. GG does the same and jumps on top of her mum. Only her dad remains.
GG’s Dad: Er GingerWoman, I don’t think that’s what she meant.
GG’s Mum: (rather flustered) I knew that.
They both get up and put the cat suits back on. They step back and look at Candyfloss lying there trembling.
Her mum walks over to the ban button and pulls off the ‘emergency only’ cover, which by now is slightly broken.
GG: Goodbye Candyfloss.
Her mum presses the button and Candyfloss disappears with a yell. All three of them stand there, arm in arm looking out the window into the factory of annoying JAT’s below.
GG: We done good mum, we done good.
The three of them walk off into the night, very visible, due to their shiny orange cat suits.
Up jumps Garycane.
GC: Right now to save SR tower.
And with that he runs up the stairs into SR tower.
What a wally!!!!
..............................
Thanks, and I apologise for any spelling or punctuation errors!!!!
Heh well a first spoof for me, I dunno what you guys think of it, but here goes:
...................................
Snuggly: Down and Out
Scene 1
A rather unrecognizable Snuggly sits in a GAME shop doorway, with his pet dog Loki, and a urine coloured notable as a duvet. Along walks Gigz, whistling and turns into the doorway where he is confronted by the Snuggle Meister.
Gigz: Er…. hello can I help you.
Snuggly: Gigz isn’t it? Ah I remember you. You were top poster on SR at one stage, boy how I had to protect that ban button to keep you there. What you doing in GAME?
Gigz: Er…..I was just going to er……. Graffiti the window a bit.
Snuggly: You cannot fool me young one. I know how your mind works; I have been studying you through the Ethernet cable for years now.
Gigz: So why you here? You recovered from the crash?
Snuggly: If I tell you something do you promise to keep it to yourself?
Gigz: Yeah sure.
Snuggly: There never was a crash…
Gigz: Then why did you say there was? I’m so confused.
Snuggly: That was not me. I have not been into the SR office for weeks now.
Gigz: So who’s been pretending to be you?
Snuggly: Do you remember that young Candyfloss? Used to be a great chap, we had so many laughs together. Well he went away to his posh job, and came back for a visit.
Gigz: Go on
Snuggly: Let me finish damn you. Well when he came back and saw all the mess everywhere. The Gamez Whizz’s and Games Girl’s and did not like what he saw. He kept going on about how he would not have let this happen and just seemed different. We just all thought nothing of it, that with his new job he thought he was better than us all.
Gigz: (startled) so you mean, he took over?
Snuggly: Aye, indeed he did. Came back a few days later with a few of his upper class businessmen in trail. They stormed in and just ransacked the place. Candyfloss sat down in my chair, yes MY CHAIR AND ATE MY DONUTS. The cheek of the guy, well I told him where he could stuff his ban button. You know what he replied? ‘Up IB’s ass’, and he banned IB.
Gigz: :o I thought it was you.
Snuggly: Yep so did everyone. He also banned IB, the number of letters and emails of complaints I got, Jeesh, had to empty 14 donut boxes to fit them all in.
Gigz: So Candyfloss and a few people are up in SR tower now, hitting the ban button again and again, while you’re down here, with nothing? Why I swear to avenge your death. Come on, we’ve got work to do.
Scene 2 – Gigz’s mum’s house
Gigz: Mum, I’m home.
Mam: Hi darling, who’s this with you Giles? Phewy he stink. And a dog too. Get out my house.
Gigz: No mum, you don’t understand, this man is the source of hours of endless amusement for me. Without him I would have a life, then you’d be upset.
Mam: I guess, come on in er…. what was your name?
Snuggly: Snuggly, Mr. Snuggly
Mam: err…..ok Mr. Snuggly.
Gigz: Mum, we need to do something.
Gigz and Snuggly sit down whilst Gigz explains everything to his mother.
Mam: Why that’s terrible. Are you ok? What shall we do?
Snuggly: I have a plan.
Snuggly removes a mini computer from his pocket, logs onto SR, and starts to post a message.
Gigz: (in shock) Mum I haven’t been on SR for a whole 3 hours? Whatever shall I do.
Gigz runs into the next room where he switches on the computer.
Gigz: (shocked) Look what Candyfloss has done, he’s banning everyone.
Snuggly: I know, soon there will be no one left. There is only one thing for it. I have left a message on SR for *superhero music* Ginger Girl and her evil partner Garycane. I should have a response in no time, after my recent conversation with Lil Ginge:
(flashback)
Snuggly:
SR is actually addictive
Lil Ginge:
I know
Lil Ginge:
It’s terrible
Snuggly:
I thought I could leave for good
Lil Ginger:
I should swap it for a social life
Gigz: Wow, she’s nearly as bad as me. Well no but yer.
Mam: Giles shut up and get posting.
Gigz: Yes mam.
Snuggly: Ah a response already. She really does need a life.
Gigz: Hey, posting your whole life on the Internet is not *that*bad.
Mam and Snuggly together: SHUT UP AND KEEP POSTING!!!!!
Snuggly: If you don’t mind mam, I’m gonna get some kip.
And with that, he drew up his notable, called Loki to his feet and slept.
Scene 3 – Morning
Mam: Breakfast time
Snuggly arose, to be confronted with the smell of bacon and eggs, and the site of Gigz posting on SR.
Snuggly: Good Snuggly Gigz, do you ever get off SR?
Gigz by now has bloodshot eyes, with huge gray bags beneath
Gigz: No!
All three go to the table, where mam serves them breakfast.
Snuggly: Right, we got work to do.
He puts down his knife and fork, and goes to grab Gigz frm his chair but realizes he is not there.
Snuggly: Lemme guess.
He proceeds to the computer from which he drags a screaming Gigz.
Snuggly: We got work to do.
They proceed outside where the SRmobile is parked.
Snuggly: Hop aboard.
Gigz gets in, closely followed by his mum. Snuggly starts the car and they are off.
Snuggly: First stop ESSEX.
They continue to drive for hour upon hour, with snuggly in the front driving and Gigz and his mum in the back.
Snuggly: It’s awfully quiet back there.
He looks back only to find Gigz has a wireless laptop on his lap. Snuggly grabs the laptop and throws it out the window, only to hit a passing MekaDragon on the head.
When they finally arrive at Essex, it seems GingerGirl has been waiting for them. She is sitting on a road sign, in a tight leather cat suit (orange of course) smoking weed. Her ginger bush is neatly tied back, and she has a stud through her nose. On her left hip, she carries a life size inflatable Sam. Her overly large left breast protrudes from her cat suit, it takes Snuggly a little while to point this out. She jumps in the back.
Snuggly: You get my email?
GG: Yep, all ready to go. Lets go get ‘em.
With that cry and a swipe of GG’s claw, they are off again, in search of the mysterious Garycane.
Snuggly: My Snuggleometer tells me that he is somewhere here. And as he says that, down swoops a green caped figure and lands by the roadside.
GC: Why did you have to call me? I was w*****g until 6.30 this morning, I need my sleep.
Snuggly: Er….Garycane, I think you forgot to do you flies up.
Snuggly puts his microscope away, as GC, all red with embarrassment, does up his flies.
Snuggly: Come on get in let’s be going.
They drive off into the day, toward SR towers. They arrive just before eight, by which time it is getting dark. In the journey, Gigz mysteriously disappeared, after complaining he has never been this long before without spamming SR s***less.
The night is dark, only lit by a nearly full moon. On the way, Snuggly briefed them all of their parts to play in the re-take of SR tower.
They sit in the car for another hour, waiting until the coast is clear. In that time, GC has been eyeing up a nearly co-worker of Candyfloss’s. When the coast is clear, it is go go go.
First out is Garycane, who runs at the nearby guard and takes him from behind. With him out the way, it is GingerGirls turn. She runs for the fire exit, and uses her ‘extra’ smelling breath to freeze the lock and the door swings open. She dashes up that stairs, until all her orange flair is out of site.
Next is Snuggly, who runs up the stairs behind GG, grabbing GC on his way up. As you can imagine, GC is not too pleased and tries to resist Snuggly.
With GG leading the way, all three of them make their way up the stairs. They get to the fourth floor, and GG senses something strange. She opens the door and lets out a gasp.
GG: Snuggly what is this?
In the room, are all the Notables, as well as El Pinko, djerrid, Kyz. They are all sitting there at computers on the SR page.
GG: You don’t. No, surely not. Snuggly you don’t force these poor people to post do you?
She looks around but Snuggly has gone, along with GC.
GG: Come on guys, it’s up to us to save SR.
El Pinko: But babe, we’re sick of the place, let it rot. Where do you think I was all last summer? I said I was on holiday, in Spain, but really I was held captive here. Sorry but we’re not gonna help you.
GG: Then I’ll do it alone. If I don’t I may *gulp* have to get a life.
She runs out, slamming the iron door behind her. All the notables and regulars quickly run out to freedom, other than djerrid who sits there claiming his name is still not perfect, and he will not rest until it is.
GG continues up the stairs to the 100th floor, on the way, killing Candyfloss’s army with her GingerGun. A gun that sends orange beams of light into the victim, immediately turning all their hair orange. They all instantly die of shame.
She keeps going until she reaches the head office. Snuggly’s office. She kicks the door with her orange leather boots and there in the chair sits Candyfloss, munching his way through some frosted donuts.
GG: Hahahaha you look like Homer Simpson.
Candyfloss: So good to see you again Lil Ginge.
GG: I wish I could say the feeling was mutual, as it happens I cannot.
She raises her gun and aims at Candyfloss.
GG: Say good bye pink fluffy thing.
And at the she pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. She pulls it again.
GG: Dammit!
Candy: Hahahaha your feeble technology amuses me. But now I am afraid I shall have to say goodbye.
He reaches for the banning button.
GG: Noooooooooooo. Wait look.
Candyfloss turns round, just as GG unzips her orange cat suit.
GG: Wanna come a bit closer?
Candyfloss nods and gets up, walking slowly towards GG with his mouth open and penis inflated.
GG: I think not Candyass
She kicks him once in the face, and he falls to the ground. She zips up he cat suit and goes over to where he is lying.
GG: All my life I have been at SR, and my mummy before me. And you tried to take that away from me. You tried to destroy a long line of Ginger SR users, and now, you must pay. Mum. Dad.
Two old people walk in; both with died orange hair, wearing similar cat suits to Lil Ginge. They step out the shadows and Candyfloss gives a cry.
Candy: Noooooooooooo too bright lemme outttttttt…
GG gives him a kick, and he shuts up for the moment. Over come her mum and dad.
GG: Mum dad you wanna do the honours.
GG’s Mum: We sure do.
She takes off her cat suit and jumps on top of him, licking his face. GG does the same and jumps on top of her mum. Only her dad remains.
GG’s Dad: Er GingerWoman, I don’t think that’s what she meant.
GG’s Mum: (rather flustered) I knew that.
They both get up and put the cat suits back on. They step back and look at Candyfloss lying there trembling.
Her mum walks over to the ban button and pulls off the ‘emergency only’ cover, which by now is slightly broken.
GG: Goodbye Candyfloss.
Her mum presses the button and Candyfloss disappears with a yell. All three of them stand there, arm in arm looking out the window into the factory of annoying JAT’s below.
GG: We done good mum, we done good.
The three of them walk off into the night, very visible, due to their shiny orange cat suits.
Up jumps Garycane.
GC: Right now to save SR tower.
And with that he runs up the stairs into SR tower.
What a wally!!!!
..............................
Thanks, and I apologise for any spelling or punctuation errors!!!!
Page:
Thanks Lawrence, and all.
very well done...! lol cool pix!
It didn't, it was only a laugh after all.
Thanks Gigz, really wasn't meanna cause any offense.
Thanks for writing about me Relay. Quite a funny tale. Indeed, a few laughs here and there.
Ah, RM18 himself.
Tasty.
Tasty.
Ah right hi RM18
For some reason the SR towers picture will not work, but the rest are there.
For some reason the SR towers picture will not work, but the rest are there.
Microchips wrote:
> I'll do a story, methinks.
>
> Oh yeah, and I lost the Notable election by 1 vote in August, I
> think.
>
> 20 votes to 21 I believe! :D
Yep you did its all in the special reserve history books aka google searched.
> I'll do a story, methinks.
>
> Oh yeah, and I lost the Notable election by 1 vote in August, I
> think.
>
> 20 votes to 21 I believe! :D
Yep you did its all in the special reserve history books aka google searched.
I'll do a story, methinks.
Oh yeah, and I lost the Notable election by 1 vote in August, I think.
20 votes to 21 I believe! :D
Oh yeah, and I lost the Notable election by 1 vote in August, I think.
20 votes to 21 I believe! :D
Microchips wrote:
> You wouldn't know, you're a newbie.
>
> RM18 was one of the great posters of times gone by.
Yes. Yes I was. :D (plus I've had 14-16 votes in notable elections in the past and that would be enough to secure me a win now - shame only a few knows who the hell I am - dammit)
I'm not really back, I just use whatever small spare time I have (looks at time he's posting) to come back and see what's going on, and I can't let go this misrepresentation of the word spoof. To be honest, Chipseh, I think the forums were much better when I was on before, I haven't really got any time to go on them now and judging by the state of them, that's no real loss. Shame.
Chips, write a story/spoof and show the young pretenders how its done!
> You wouldn't know, you're a newbie.
>
> RM18 was one of the great posters of times gone by.
Yes. Yes I was. :D (plus I've had 14-16 votes in notable elections in the past and that would be enough to secure me a win now - shame only a few knows who the hell I am - dammit)
I'm not really back, I just use whatever small spare time I have (looks at time he's posting) to come back and see what's going on, and I can't let go this misrepresentation of the word spoof. To be honest, Chipseh, I think the forums were much better when I was on before, I haven't really got any time to go on them now and judging by the state of them, that's no real loss. Shame.
Chips, write a story/spoof and show the young pretenders how its done!
Page: