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"A Guide To Putting On Socks"

A rough guide to putting on socks

When putting on a pair of socks it is important to remember the three key rules:

1. Control
2. Concentration
3. Determination

All of the above elements are vital to the successful application of socks. But I am certain that you, the reader, will be asking yourself, “What exactly is a sock?” A sock, also known as a foot warmer, is an item of clothing worn on the feet and often ankles to keep the wearer’s feet warm and prevent the shoes chafing and/or blistering the feet. Socks are made primarily from wool or cotton, but it has been known for socks to be made from nylon and even on occasions polyester!

Now that we have determined what socks are, let’s look at the various styles they come in. There are generic socks that are worn with shoes of many types and can also be worn about the house if slippers are unavailable. They come in a variety of colours including the ever-popular black and sometimes ranging to the often-unseen shades of lilac and burgundy. There are trainer socks, which are shorter than regular socks and as, the name suggests are meant to be worn with trainers. The socks are short to make it look as if the wearer isn’t really wearing socks with their trainers but, and here’s the crazy part, they are! You get the trendy look of not wearing any socks, especially desirable with shorts or skirts, and the comfort of your trainers not itching or rubbing your feet. You truly get the best of both worlds with trainer socks!

Sports socks are often described as “the daddy” of all socks. They are used primarily for wearing during sporting activities and keep the feet of the user both warm, protected from injury and also soak up sweat of the user. However sports socks do not just have to be used for sporting purposes, quite the contrary! They can be used on everyday occasions and help prevent sweaty feet and horrible odours. Sports socks come in a variety of lengths; long ones may be worn for such adventurous sports such as hockey and football, whilst shorter socks could be worn for partaking in basketball and perhaps even snooker. Sports sock are often thicker than standard socks and some would argue this is because, quite simply, they are better.

Novelty socks are a whole new world altogether. You can get socks with cartoon characters imprinted upon them, including favourites such as The Simpsons, ranging to those home-made ones you will find lining the shelves of Tesco’s. You can get socks than play music when you touch the motion-activated button on them; these usually hit the shops at Christmas so keep your eyes peeled! You can get socks with ears, socks with crazy textile designs and on the odd occasion you might get a novelty sock with a rude word on it, often along the lines of inserting a body part into one of your various orifices.” This, for me, ruins the whole idea of novelty socks.

When applying a pair of socks it is important to stretch the foot firmly and loosen up all those muscles before the act of actually applying the sock. When you have fully prepared yourself for putting on a pair of socks and you know the time is right, personally I aim to time it between getting out of the shower and eating my breakfast otherwise all sorts of crazy things could happen, your socks could get wet or even buttered if you let your mind stray for the time tested tradition of sock application.

When ready, sit on a flat comfy surface, I recommend a chair, and get the socks in your hand. If the socks are rolled up into a ball it is important you unroll them before applying them. Peel back the outside sock by gripping onto the elasticised edge and firmly tugging downwards. This should release the socks individually and allow you to use them at your will.

You now have two options; you can either extend your arms to your feet OR move your feet closer to your arms, either is a good starting point. One your foot is within reasonable perimeter of your hand you should extend the foot and insert it swiftly into the elasticised end of the sock. Now tug the elasticised part of the sock up your foot and make sure your heel is in the allocated dent in the sock. After a few adjustments to ensure maximum comfort, you have applied a sock! Do the same on the other foot and you will be ready to take on almost anything*

I hope this guide proved handy and helped you get over the nightmare issue of applying socks. Coming next week – Cotton Buds: An Insight.



*Excludes bears

A rough guide to putting on socks

When putting on a pair of socks it is important to remember the three key rules:

1. Control
2. Concentration
3. Determination

All of the above elements are vital to the successful application of socks. But I am certain that you, the reader, will be asking yourself, “What exactly is a sock?” A sock, also known as a foot warmer, is an item of clothing worn on the feet and often ankles to keep the wearer’s feet warm and prevent the shoes chafing and/or blistering the feet. Socks are made primarily from wool or cotton, but it has been known for socks to be made from nylon and even on occasions polyester!

Now that we have determined what socks are, let’s look at the various styles they come in. There are generic socks that are worn with shoes of many types and can also be worn about the house if slippers are unavailable. They come in a variety of colours including the ever-popular black and sometimes ranging to the often-unseen shades of lilac and burgundy. There are trainer socks, which are shorter than regular socks and as, the name suggests are meant to be worn with trainers. The socks are short to make it look as if the wearer isn’t really wearing socks with their trainers but, and here’s the crazy part, they are! You get the trendy look of not wearing any socks, especially desirable with shorts or skirts, and the comfort of your trainers not itching or rubbing your feet. You truly get the best of both worlds with trainer socks!

Sports socks are often described as “the daddy” of all socks. They are used primarily for wearing during sporting activities and keep the feet of the user both warm, protected from injury and also soak up sweat of the user. However sports socks do not just have to be used for sporting purposes, quite the contrary! They can be used on everyday occasions and help prevent sweaty feet and horrible odours. Sports socks come in a variety of lengths; long ones may be worn for such adventurous sports such as hockey and football, whilst shorter socks could be worn for partaking in basketball and perhaps even snooker. Sports sock are often thicker than standard socks and some would argue this is because, quite simply, they are better.

Novelty socks are a whole new world altogether. You can get socks with cartoon characters imprinted upon them, including favourites such as The Simpsons, ranging to those home-made ones you will find lining the shelves of Tesco’s. You can get socks than play music when you touch the motion-activated button on them; these usually hit the shops at Christmas so keep your eyes peeled! You can get socks with ears, socks with crazy textile designs and on the odd occasion you might get a novelty sock with a rude word on it, often along the lines of inserting a body part into one of your various orifices.” This, for me, ruins the whole idea of novelty socks.

When applying a pair of socks it is important to stretch the foot firmly and loosen up all those muscles before the act of actually applying the sock. When you have fully prepared yourself for putting on a pair of socks and you know the time is right, personally I aim to time it between getting out of the shower and eating my breakfast otherwise all sorts of crazy things could happen, your socks could get wet or even buttered if you let your mind stray for the time tested tradition of sock application.

When ready, sit on a flat comfy surface, I recommend a chair, and get the socks in your hand. If the socks are rolled up into a ball it is important you unroll them before applying them. Peel back the outside sock by gripping onto the elasticised edge and firmly tugging downwards. This should release the socks individually and allow you to use them at your will.

You now have two options; you can either extend your arms to your feet OR move your feet closer to your arms, either is a good starting point. One your foot is within reasonable perimeter of your hand you should extend the foot and insert it swiftly into the elasticised end of the sock. Now tug the elasticised part of the sock up your foot and make sure your heel is in the allocated dent in the sock. After a few adjustments to ensure maximum comfort, you have applied a sock! Do the same on the other foot and you will be ready to take on almost anything*

I hope this guide proved handy and helped you get over the nightmare issue of applying socks. Coming next week – Cotton Buds: An Insight.



*Excludes bears

v good, but the point of that was?

My sock abilities are fine. I shall however forward your guide to the "School For Special Kids."

What?

One can hear Kyz scraping every last possible amount of needless ideas from his brain.

this is such a GAD attempt......OR he copied it off of www.retardedresources.com*






*may not be a real web-site

I'd rather pay for a game than use my brain to win one! anyone agree?

UrkiE-UK wrote:
> this is such a GAD attempt......OR he copied it off of
> www.retardedresources.com*
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *may not be a real web-site

I checked it to make sure, sadly no.

that could have been my new favourite site!
I'll have to continue to retrieve all my retarded resources from General Chat then .......

I kiD!

and you say its a "rough" guide, blimey what or how long would it be if it was a detailed guide i wonder!

Ugh, it's another clapped out "Guide To..." post.
Think of something original, sheesh.

Cyclone wrote:
> What?
>
> One can hear Kyz scraping every last possible amount of needless
> ideas from his brain.

For English Language A Level we had to write a guide/instructional piece. I wrote this in an hour and asked if it would be ok to submit. He said no.