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"My Story"

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Tue 25/11/03 at 20:05
Regular
"Me+Live= Sore Fists"
Posts: 804
This is a story for my Year 8 English exam. I got a 5C which is just above my expected level, if you know that you wont like this, then dont bother because it is really long, but if you would like to then here it goes.

Thursday night and Kane was worrying about the rusty, silver box in the cellar downstairs. Vividly imagining what could be behind that small key hole, there might be zombies wanting to eat him alive. He thought of what his Dad told him, that the scratching noise was in his head, and if it was even real, then it was most probably just a mouse. But it was something worse than that, much worse.

7:35 read the bold red digits from Kane's alarm clock, its Friday the 18th of November and Jack Peres is sleeping round Kane's house for the night.
He got up still half- asleep and marched down the steep, wooden stairs.
"Ah...ah.....Atchoo!"
"Bless you" said Kane
"Thank you dear" replied Kane's Mum " I really have to get rid of those flowers, they are giving me a he.....he....Atchoo!, headache."
"I'll do it" offered Kane, he picked up the long, green vase, walked into the kitchen and tipped the smelly things in to the bin, a small, silver key slid from the bottom of the vase and dropped onto the floor.
Kane stared at it confused. He knelt down and carefully picked up the wet tool. He gazed in amazement, he looked closely to see small engravings saying "47926" to himself.
Suddenly he had a small flashback from around two years ago when he had only just moved into the house, Kane saw himself reaching for the freezer door reading "47926".
He dropped the key in astonishment that he had just found a mystery which should have been solved long ago. Kane looked around him for his Mum or Dad, but they were both in the lounge. He shoved the key into his pocket and started to make his breakfast.

At school all he could think about was the box, what is inside it?, who put it in there?, how did the key get in to the vase?.
Unexplained problems that Kane was eager to find out.
At lunch time he told Jack everything that had happened, " So shall we go down there tonight?" questioned Jack,
"If you're O.K with it" answered Kane.
They planned their night, Kane could tell that Jack was scared, but not quite as frightened as himself.

The two of them had a Chinese Take- Away round Kane's, which they really enjoyed.
It was around 11:35 when Paula and Alex went to bed. Kane turned the channel to Discovery, a documentary on Alien Sightings was showing, and the X-Files music was playing in the background while a large alien ran from a bush into another.
"Thats not funny!" said Jack, putting a pillow over his face.
"Sorry, i am scared to you know!" exclaimed Kane.
He turned over to WWE RAW on Sky Sports 1, Kane loved wrestling.
He picked up a black DSL tool kit which his Dad gave him for his birthday. He took out the 4inch blade and picked up a small red torch.
"Come on Jack, lets go"

They walked past their parents bedroom and heard loud snoring, which was exactly what they wanted to hear. Kane was in front and walking down the stairs. They then passed through the lounge into the dark kitchen where the cellar door was. The door creaked open slowly from Jack's soft push, the box was scratching as usual, he flicked the small white switch, and a dim light filled the damp cellar.

Kane pulled the small key from his pocket, they stood in front of the box looking at each other. The freezer made a quiet humming noise which sort of broke the silence, then the scratching noise stopped, it must have known they were there.
"You open it and i will stand in front with the knife." whispered Kane.
Jack gave a short nod and slid the key into the hole. He gently started to turn the key anti- clockwise. Kane had a horrible taste in the back of his throat and his legs started to tremble.
The box clicked open and Jack passed the key back to Kane, the knife was wet with sweat.
The rusty door lurched open, what was inside the box still was not clear because the light was on the other side of the room.
But there was just enough light to catch the glint of two huge, green eyes.

Not very good i know, i am just a bit bored though.
Tue 25/11/03 at 22:07
Regular
Posts: 23,218
Wasn't too bad, when you get to Gcse's etc you will have to write alot more if you thought that story was really long. Shame my college doesn't do Englsih Language because I wanted to do that.
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:26
Regular
Posts: 14,437
20. Not that old, but past me school years.
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:25
Regular
"Me+Live= Sore Fists"
Posts: 804
How old?
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:23
Regular
Posts: 14,437
I don't go to school.

Too old.
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:22
Regular
Posts: 14,437
Yup, you sure do.
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:20
Regular
"Me+Live= Sore Fists"
Posts: 804
Wow! Now i finally know what school is for.
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:03
Regular
Posts: 14,437
Guess so. Oh well, that's what school's for!
Tue 25/11/03 at 21:00
Regular
Posts: 14,437
Lol! Is the magic button *that* hard to find?
Tue 25/11/03 at 20:52
"LOLLERSKATES!"
Posts: 5,659
not my taste, but when your bored.....
Tue 25/11/03 at 20:38
Regular
Posts: 14,437
Pliskin wrote:
> Sorry that when i write this i didnt write it with little >'s down
> the side, i dont know how, and if it is how i think then i definetly
> am not doing it on this!

You don't need to quote the entire thread! There is no point - we can already see what the original message was!

Story wasn't to my taste either. But that's my opinion. Don't be offended.

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