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"Run! Move, move, move!" Chris screamed for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't run any faster though. My legs where aching, my feet were covered in blisters and my friends were running further and further away.
"Chris! Brian! Wait for me!" I shouted down the passageway. I could see the room at the other end, our destination.
"Come on you've got to move faster!" Exclaimed Brian as he quickly spun around. They had reached the exit. The room at the other end, the way we came in to this, this...I don't know what. "Come on you don't have much time!" he shouted. I couldn't run any faster though. I felt like I was about to faint as it was.
"Just wait! Just wait!" I bellowed back. I could see them mere feet away from the exit just waiting for me to get there. Suddenly though the door began to close. "No! Wait! Help me!" I said but it was in vain as I saw their faces disappear behind the door.
I finally got to the door and I was screaming out into the darkness. I was now submerged in darkness with nothing but the light emanating from the sides of the door. "Brian! Chris! Can you hear me? I can't get out! The door, it’s, it's made of stone or something,” I shouted as I felt the cold, moist slab in my path.
"S|-||t!" Shouted Brian
"S|-||t!" I shouted back.
"Look just, just stay there all right?" said Chris through the rock barrier.
"Where do you think I'm going!”? I cried.
"Look just wait there and we'll try and open the door ok? How did you open it in the first place man?!" Said Brian. I loathed finding this tunnel, I loathed myself for bringing them to it and now I was in despair for I could not remember how I had opened the door to the cave.
"I don't know! There was a button or a handle or something!" I shouted.
"Ohh that's real helpful man" Said Chris.
"Just look for something like that ok! I think it was near to the timer. The one we passed on the way in!" I said, I remembered the timer well. It looked like a creation made for the gods themselves. Gold, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires and more, It was truly a divine creation, I could barely believe something so precious, something so pure would deliver the count down to my entrapment.
"Dude the clock is gone! The clock is f|_|
"What! Oh s|-||t, I'm going to die down here." I wasn't doing much better. "Where, where's Brian? BRIAN! Where are you?"
"I'm here man but I'm telling you that fancy a£$ clock is gone." Said Brian. That was the final blow, I couldn't think of anything but the darkness that enveloped me and the hopelessness of my situation. I huddled up against the wall and cried but no one would come to give me comfort.
"Stephen! Listen man I've got something! I think I've found a way to get the door open!" It was Chris.
"What! What is it!?" I screamed as I pressed my body up against the door.
"It's some levers man, all different colours. There's a red one, a green one and this black one." Said Chris.
"Well pull them! Get me out of here Chris come on!" I shouted back.
"Which one?" He said.
"Anyone!!" I screamed.
I could hear cogs, twisting and turning with an eerie precision until devastating scream followed a sickening thud from behind the door.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! AGHHHHH!" I couldn't tell who it was.
"What?! What's happened man?! Come on tell me! What's happened?!" I shouted as tears gathered in my eyes again.
"Chris...he's...he's dead..." Said Brian through a river of tears.
"Holy s|-||t..." I said,"Brian, Brian listen to me what happened?!"
"He...he's dead..." Cried Brian, he was obviously a wreck. My situation had gone from bad to worse and I had no one but the darkness to confide in.
"Look Brian you're going to have to get me out of here pull the levers!" I shouted.
"What the f|_|
"S|-||t, what, what colour did he pull?" I asked.
"The black one." he replied.
"That's not it man you got to try another!" I shouted at him. The desperation in my voice was at its peak as I clawed at the door ahead of me. My fingers grinding into the cold, hard stone ahead.
"I'm not going near those god damn levers, unless..." He said.
"Unless what? I'll do anything just try a lever man come on!" I screamed, as I tasted the salt of my tears in my mouth. I was begging him to open the door.
"You have to remember what one opens the door. You've got to tell me!" He shouted back. A deadening silence followed, I couldn't remember which it was. I couldn't even remember the colours left, the future seemed as dark as the passageway that trapped me.
"The middle one..." I whispered to the rock.
"What!? Tell me now man." He shouted back.
"The middle one." I stated in a slightly louder voice. I could not remember and I did not know the true answer but I risked it all. I risked an eternity of confinement and my friend’s life on a guess, a gamble, and a chance to live.
"You're sure!? I don't want to die Stephen!" It was now his tone that had dropped.
"I'm sure, pull the lever Brian." I replied as I buried my head between my legs to muffle the sound of my tears. The cogs began to turn again. Where they were I did not know but I could hear them connecting and disconnecting as they spun around determining our fates until...thud...
It's still quiet in here, still quiet in this corridor. I can still see the light poking through the sides of the door but have given up all hope. To whomever may read this story inscribed upon this wall I beg of you, turn around before it is to late and save your soul.
"Chris! Brian! Wait for me!" I shouted down the passageway. I could see the room at the other end, our destination.
"Come on you've got to move faster!" Exclaimed Brian as he quickly spun around. They had reached the exit. The room at the other end, the way we came in to this, this...I don't know what. "Come on you don't have much time!" he shouted. I couldn't run any faster though. I felt like I was about to faint as it was.
"Just wait! Just wait!" I bellowed back. I could see them mere feet away from the exit just waiting for me to get there. Suddenly though the door began to close. "No! Wait! Help me!" I said but it was in vain as I saw their faces disappear behind the door.
I finally got to the door and I was screaming out into the darkness. I was now submerged in darkness with nothing but the light emanating from the sides of the door. "Brian! Chris! Can you hear me? I can't get out! The door, it’s, it's made of stone or something,” I shouted as I felt the cold, moist slab in my path.
"S|-||t!" Shouted Brian
"S|-||t!" I shouted back.
"Look just, just stay there all right?" said Chris through the rock barrier.
"Where do you think I'm going!”? I cried.
"Look just wait there and we'll try and open the door ok? How did you open it in the first place man?!" Said Brian. I loathed finding this tunnel, I loathed myself for bringing them to it and now I was in despair for I could not remember how I had opened the door to the cave.
"I don't know! There was a button or a handle or something!" I shouted.
"Ohh that's real helpful man" Said Chris.
"Just look for something like that ok! I think it was near to the timer. The one we passed on the way in!" I said, I remembered the timer well. It looked like a creation made for the gods themselves. Gold, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires and more, It was truly a divine creation, I could barely believe something so precious, something so pure would deliver the count down to my entrapment.
"Dude the clock is gone! The clock is f|_|
"What! Oh s|-||t, I'm going to die down here." I wasn't doing much better. "Where, where's Brian? BRIAN! Where are you?"
"I'm here man but I'm telling you that fancy a£$ clock is gone." Said Brian. That was the final blow, I couldn't think of anything but the darkness that enveloped me and the hopelessness of my situation. I huddled up against the wall and cried but no one would come to give me comfort.
"Stephen! Listen man I've got something! I think I've found a way to get the door open!" It was Chris.
"What! What is it!?" I screamed as I pressed my body up against the door.
"It's some levers man, all different colours. There's a red one, a green one and this black one." Said Chris.
"Well pull them! Get me out of here Chris come on!" I shouted back.
"Which one?" He said.
"Anyone!!" I screamed.
I could hear cogs, twisting and turning with an eerie precision until devastating scream followed a sickening thud from behind the door.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! AGHHHHH!" I couldn't tell who it was.
"What?! What's happened man?! Come on tell me! What's happened?!" I shouted as tears gathered in my eyes again.
"Chris...he's...he's dead..." Said Brian through a river of tears.
"Holy s|-||t..." I said,"Brian, Brian listen to me what happened?!"
"He...he's dead..." Cried Brian, he was obviously a wreck. My situation had gone from bad to worse and I had no one but the darkness to confide in.
"Look Brian you're going to have to get me out of here pull the levers!" I shouted.
"What the f|_|
"S|-||t, what, what colour did he pull?" I asked.
"The black one." he replied.
"That's not it man you got to try another!" I shouted at him. The desperation in my voice was at its peak as I clawed at the door ahead of me. My fingers grinding into the cold, hard stone ahead.
"I'm not going near those god damn levers, unless..." He said.
"Unless what? I'll do anything just try a lever man come on!" I screamed, as I tasted the salt of my tears in my mouth. I was begging him to open the door.
"You have to remember what one opens the door. You've got to tell me!" He shouted back. A deadening silence followed, I couldn't remember which it was. I couldn't even remember the colours left, the future seemed as dark as the passageway that trapped me.
"The middle one..." I whispered to the rock.
"What!? Tell me now man." He shouted back.
"The middle one." I stated in a slightly louder voice. I could not remember and I did not know the true answer but I risked it all. I risked an eternity of confinement and my friend’s life on a guess, a gamble, and a chance to live.
"You're sure!? I don't want to die Stephen!" It was now his tone that had dropped.
"I'm sure, pull the lever Brian." I replied as I buried my head between my legs to muffle the sound of my tears. The cogs began to turn again. Where they were I did not know but I could hear them connecting and disconnecting as they spun around determining our fates until...thud...
It's still quiet in here, still quiet in this corridor. I can still see the light poking through the sides of the door but have given up all hope. To whomever may read this story inscribed upon this wall I beg of you, turn around before it is to late and save your soul.
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"Run! Move, move, move!" Chris screamed for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't run any faster though. My legs where aching, my feet were covered in blisters and my friends were running further and further away.
"Chris! Brian! Wait for me!" I shouted down the passageway. I could see the room at the other end, our destination.
"Come on you've got to move faster!" Exclaimed Brian as he quickly spun around. They had reached the exit. The room at the other end, the way we came in to this, this...I don't know what. "Come on you don't have much time!" he shouted. I couldn't run any faster though. I felt like I was about to faint as it was.
"Just wait! Just wait!" I bellowed back. I could see them mere feet away from the exit just waiting for me to get there. Suddenly though the door began to close. "No! Wait! Help me!" I said but it was in vain as I saw their faces disappear behind the door.
I finally got to the door and I was screaming out into the darkness. I was now submerged in darkness with nothing but the light emanating from the sides of the door. "Brian! Chris! Can you hear me? I can't get out! The door, it’s, it's made of stone or something,” I shouted as I felt the cold, moist slab in my path.
"S|-||t!" Shouted Brian
"S|-||t!" I shouted back.
"Look just, just stay there all right?" said Chris through the rock barrier.
"Where do you think I'm going!”? I cried.
"Look just wait there and we'll try and open the door ok? How did you open it in the first place man?!" Said Brian. I loathed finding this tunnel, I loathed myself for bringing them to it and now I was in despair for I could not remember how I had opened the door to the cave.
"I don't know! There was a button or a handle or something!" I shouted.
"Ohh that's real helpful man" Said Chris.
"Just look for something like that ok! I think it was near to the timer. The one we passed on the way in!" I said, I remembered the timer well. It looked like a creation made for the gods themselves. Gold, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires and more, It was truly a divine creation, I could barely believe something so precious, something so pure would deliver the count down to my entrapment.
"Dude the clock is gone! The clock is f|_|
"What! Oh s|-||t, I'm going to die down here." I wasn't doing much better. "Where, where's Brian? BRIAN! Where are you?"
"I'm here man but I'm telling you that fancy a£$ clock is gone." Said Brian. That was the final blow, I couldn't think of anything but the darkness that enveloped me and the hopelessness of my situation. I huddled up against the wall and cried but no one would come to give me comfort.
"Stephen! Listen man I've got something! I think I've found a way to get the door open!" It was Chris.
"What! What is it!?" I screamed as I pressed my body up against the door.
"It's some levers man, all different colours. There's a red one, a green one and this black one." Said Chris.
"Well pull them! Get me out of here Chris come on!" I shouted back.
"Which one?" He said.
"Anyone!!" I screamed.
I could hear cogs, twisting and turning with an eerie precision until devastating scream followed a sickening thud from behind the door.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! AGHHHHH!" I couldn't tell who it was.
"What?! What's happened man?! Come on tell me! What's happened?!" I shouted as tears gathered in my eyes again.
"Chris...he's...he's dead..." Said Brian through a river of tears.
"Holy s|-||t..." I said,"Brian, Brian listen to me what happened?!"
"He...he's dead..." Cried Brian, he was obviously a wreck. My situation had gone from bad to worse and I had no one but the darkness to confide in.
"Look Brian you're going to have to get me out of here pull the levers!" I shouted.
"What the f|_|
"S|-||t, what, what colour did he pull?" I asked.
"The black one." he replied.
"That's not it man you got to try another!" I shouted at him. The desperation in my voice was at its peak as I clawed at the door ahead of me. My fingers grinding into the cold, hard stone ahead.
"I'm not going near those god damn levers, unless..." He said.
"Unless what? I'll do anything just try a lever man come on!" I screamed, as I tasted the salt of my tears in my mouth. I was begging him to open the door.
"You have to remember what one opens the door. You've got to tell me!" He shouted back. A deadening silence followed, I couldn't remember which it was. I couldn't even remember the colours left, the future seemed as dark as the passageway that trapped me.
"The middle one..." I whispered to the rock.
"What!? Tell me now man." He shouted back.
"The middle one." I stated in a slightly louder voice. I could not remember and I did not know the true answer but I risked it all. I risked an eternity of confinement and my friend’s life on a guess, a gamble, and a chance to live.
"You're sure!? I don't want to die Stephen!" It was now his tone that had dropped.
"I'm sure, pull the lever Brian." I replied as I buried my head between my legs to muffle the sound of my tears. The cogs began to turn again. Where they were I did not know but I could hear them connecting and disconnecting as they spun around determining our fates until...thud...
It's still quiet in here, still quiet in this corridor. I can still see the light poking through the sides of the door but have given up all hope. To whomever may read this story inscribed upon this wall I beg of you, turn around before it is to late and save your soul.
"Chris! Brian! Wait for me!" I shouted down the passageway. I could see the room at the other end, our destination.
"Come on you've got to move faster!" Exclaimed Brian as he quickly spun around. They had reached the exit. The room at the other end, the way we came in to this, this...I don't know what. "Come on you don't have much time!" he shouted. I couldn't run any faster though. I felt like I was about to faint as it was.
"Just wait! Just wait!" I bellowed back. I could see them mere feet away from the exit just waiting for me to get there. Suddenly though the door began to close. "No! Wait! Help me!" I said but it was in vain as I saw their faces disappear behind the door.
I finally got to the door and I was screaming out into the darkness. I was now submerged in darkness with nothing but the light emanating from the sides of the door. "Brian! Chris! Can you hear me? I can't get out! The door, it’s, it's made of stone or something,” I shouted as I felt the cold, moist slab in my path.
"S|-||t!" Shouted Brian
"S|-||t!" I shouted back.
"Look just, just stay there all right?" said Chris through the rock barrier.
"Where do you think I'm going!”? I cried.
"Look just wait there and we'll try and open the door ok? How did you open it in the first place man?!" Said Brian. I loathed finding this tunnel, I loathed myself for bringing them to it and now I was in despair for I could not remember how I had opened the door to the cave.
"I don't know! There was a button or a handle or something!" I shouted.
"Ohh that's real helpful man" Said Chris.
"Just look for something like that ok! I think it was near to the timer. The one we passed on the way in!" I said, I remembered the timer well. It looked like a creation made for the gods themselves. Gold, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires and more, It was truly a divine creation, I could barely believe something so precious, something so pure would deliver the count down to my entrapment.
"Dude the clock is gone! The clock is f|_|
"What! Oh s|-||t, I'm going to die down here." I wasn't doing much better. "Where, where's Brian? BRIAN! Where are you?"
"I'm here man but I'm telling you that fancy a£$ clock is gone." Said Brian. That was the final blow, I couldn't think of anything but the darkness that enveloped me and the hopelessness of my situation. I huddled up against the wall and cried but no one would come to give me comfort.
"Stephen! Listen man I've got something! I think I've found a way to get the door open!" It was Chris.
"What! What is it!?" I screamed as I pressed my body up against the door.
"It's some levers man, all different colours. There's a red one, a green one and this black one." Said Chris.
"Well pull them! Get me out of here Chris come on!" I shouted back.
"Which one?" He said.
"Anyone!!" I screamed.
I could hear cogs, twisting and turning with an eerie precision until devastating scream followed a sickening thud from behind the door.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! AGHHHHH!" I couldn't tell who it was.
"What?! What's happened man?! Come on tell me! What's happened?!" I shouted as tears gathered in my eyes again.
"Chris...he's...he's dead..." Said Brian through a river of tears.
"Holy s|-||t..." I said,"Brian, Brian listen to me what happened?!"
"He...he's dead..." Cried Brian, he was obviously a wreck. My situation had gone from bad to worse and I had no one but the darkness to confide in.
"Look Brian you're going to have to get me out of here pull the levers!" I shouted.
"What the f|_|
"S|-||t, what, what colour did he pull?" I asked.
"The black one." he replied.
"That's not it man you got to try another!" I shouted at him. The desperation in my voice was at its peak as I clawed at the door ahead of me. My fingers grinding into the cold, hard stone ahead.
"I'm not going near those god damn levers, unless..." He said.
"Unless what? I'll do anything just try a lever man come on!" I screamed, as I tasted the salt of my tears in my mouth. I was begging him to open the door.
"You have to remember what one opens the door. You've got to tell me!" He shouted back. A deadening silence followed, I couldn't remember which it was. I couldn't even remember the colours left, the future seemed as dark as the passageway that trapped me.
"The middle one..." I whispered to the rock.
"What!? Tell me now man." He shouted back.
"The middle one." I stated in a slightly louder voice. I could not remember and I did not know the true answer but I risked it all. I risked an eternity of confinement and my friend’s life on a guess, a gamble, and a chance to live.
"You're sure!? I don't want to die Stephen!" It was now his tone that had dropped.
"I'm sure, pull the lever Brian." I replied as I buried my head between my legs to muffle the sound of my tears. The cogs began to turn again. Where they were I did not know but I could hear them connecting and disconnecting as they spun around determining our fates until...thud...
It's still quiet in here, still quiet in this corridor. I can still see the light poking through the sides of the door but have given up all hope. To whomever may read this story inscribed upon this wall I beg of you, turn around before it is to late and save your soul.
I really liked this story, especially the ending, very original. The only small criticism is some of the words are awkward and don't really fit the context. But overall, I enjoyed it, and the tension created with the levers as each was pulled.
Thanks Mithras, glad you liked it and I'll try and use a wider variety of words next time :D
Sweet.
I was wondering if you were going to go with the nicey-nicey ending, but you didn't (which is nice.)
Good stuff.
I was wondering if you were going to go with the nicey-nicey ending, but you didn't (which is nice.)
Good stuff.
Thanks, glad you liked it:D
Good, but alot of speech, maybe too much...
Yeah, perhaps a little too much speech - and a lot of it quite cliched.
Cliche can still be good though.
Yeh the thing is though I don't like to write stories I like to write scripts so it's wierd trying to make the transition heh :S :D
I know what you mean. Have any good walkthroughs been posted today?
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