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Approach cat using, “sweet child talk”, voice to alleviate any possible fears of imminent pilling. Use most unthreatening kissy face and say goodbye to any self-respect you once had.
Tickle cat on the top of the head, thus gaining cats trust.
Pick cat up and place onto lap in the bouncing baby position. Slowly bounce cat whilst singing gently and telling him what a, “pretty boy”, he is.
Having now well and truly gained cats trust, position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth as if giving a tickle. Slowly and gently apply pressure to either cheek and bring right hand that has been strategically hidden out of cats line of sight closer to cats mouth. As cat opens mouth, pop hidden pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Next, retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and try from new position.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut and count to ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call wife in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold tightly onto front and rear paws with both hands. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get wife to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth with the other. Watch has wife quickly removes hand from cats head and drops pill down ruler. Rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from floor and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get wife to lie on cat with just its head visible from below wife’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil, aim, and then blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed and get another pill from now nearly empty foil wrap. Place cat in cupboard closing door onto neck thus leaving just its head showing. Force mouth open with dessertspoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold cotton wool to cheek and check injection book for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with washing line and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Fetch heavy-duty pruning gloves from garden shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner and push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak, which was meant for dinner. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.
Get wife to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Upon arriving home make phone call to vets pleading for them to fit you in that evening.
Force cat into cat-box using barbecue tongs. Place cat-box onto rear seat of car and drive to vets.
Remove cat from back of neck and carry by scruff of neck into vet’s reception. Ask receptionist how much new cat boxes are and if she knows of any car interior restoration experts nearby.
Carry cat into vets office and place on table.
Watch as cat rubs round vet and then sits obediently with tongue sticking out waiting for vet to place pill on it.
Stare in disbelief as vet so places pill, which cat swallows and then begins then lovingly lick vets hand.
Smile politely while vet says, “see how easy it is?”
Tickle cat on the top of the head, thus gaining cats trust.
Pick cat up and place onto lap in the bouncing baby position. Slowly bounce cat whilst singing gently and telling him what a, “pretty boy”, he is.
Having now well and truly gained cats trust, position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth as if giving a tickle. Slowly and gently apply pressure to either cheek and bring right hand that has been strategically hidden out of cats line of sight closer to cats mouth. As cat opens mouth, pop hidden pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Next, retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and try from new position.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut and count to ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call wife in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold tightly onto front and rear paws with both hands. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get wife to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth with the other. Watch has wife quickly removes hand from cats head and drops pill down ruler. Rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from floor and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get wife to lie on cat with just its head visible from below wife’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil, aim, and then blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed and get another pill from now nearly empty foil wrap. Place cat in cupboard closing door onto neck thus leaving just its head showing. Force mouth open with dessertspoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold cotton wool to cheek and check injection book for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with washing line and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Fetch heavy-duty pruning gloves from garden shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner and push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak, which was meant for dinner. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.
Get wife to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Upon arriving home make phone call to vets pleading for them to fit you in that evening.
Force cat into cat-box using barbecue tongs. Place cat-box onto rear seat of car and drive to vets.
Remove cat from back of neck and carry by scruff of neck into vet’s reception. Ask receptionist how much new cat boxes are and if she knows of any car interior restoration experts nearby.
Carry cat into vets office and place on table.
Watch as cat rubs round vet and then sits obediently with tongue sticking out waiting for vet to place pill on it.
Stare in disbelief as vet so places pill, which cat swallows and then begins then lovingly lick vets hand.
Smile politely while vet says, “see how easy it is?”
Us regulars can do what we want...within reason of course heh :D
Cubist wrote:
> I liked this post so much I'm popping it to the top. MWHAHAHAHAHA :D
Well, that's very kind, but you really shouldn't do that kind of thing, should you?
> I liked this post so much I'm popping it to the top. MWHAHAHAHAHA :D
Well, that's very kind, but you really shouldn't do that kind of thing, should you?
That was funny.
Heh, cats are the best :D.
I liked this post so much I'm popping it to the top. MWHAHAHAHAHA :D
Yeah, I have three cats.
One is an absolute wimp who is scared of anything that moves, and anything that doesn’t.
One which is old, bless her. She’s 16 now and is “top cat” of the house.
The other is a ginger tom-cat, he’s a real bruiser.
One is an absolute wimp who is scared of anything that moves, and anything that doesn’t.
One which is old, bless her. She’s 16 now and is “top cat” of the house.
The other is a ginger tom-cat, he’s a real bruiser.
*English_Bloke even, god I think I'm going senial at 16...wait a minute how do you spell see-nile? lol :S
Lol I have a female Cat I call Duzzledorf (don't ask me why) and you should see the state she gets in when we take her to the vets. Lets just say the car begins to smell and brown matter gathers in the back of the cats cage. We have to bring an extra cage for the return home. Stupid cat.
Heh anyway great post Blokey, very amusing :D
Heh anyway great post Blokey, very amusing :D
Approach cat using, “sweet child talk”, voice to alleviate any possible fears of imminent pilling. Use most unthreatening kissy face and say goodbye to any self-respect you once had.
Tickle cat on the top of the head, thus gaining cats trust.
Pick cat up and place onto lap in the bouncing baby position. Slowly bounce cat whilst singing gently and telling him what a, “pretty boy”, he is.
Having now well and truly gained cats trust, position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth as if giving a tickle. Slowly and gently apply pressure to either cheek and bring right hand that has been strategically hidden out of cats line of sight closer to cats mouth. As cat opens mouth, pop hidden pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Next, retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and try from new position.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut and count to ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call wife in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold tightly onto front and rear paws with both hands. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get wife to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth with the other. Watch has wife quickly removes hand from cats head and drops pill down ruler. Rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from floor and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get wife to lie on cat with just its head visible from below wife’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil, aim, and then blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed and get another pill from now nearly empty foil wrap. Place cat in cupboard closing door onto neck thus leaving just its head showing. Force mouth open with dessertspoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold cotton wool to cheek and check injection book for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with washing line and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Fetch heavy-duty pruning gloves from garden shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner and push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak, which was meant for dinner. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.
Get wife to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Upon arriving home make phone call to vets pleading for them to fit you in that evening.
Force cat into cat-box using barbecue tongs. Place cat-box onto rear seat of car and drive to vets.
Remove cat from back of neck and carry by scruff of neck into vet’s reception. Ask receptionist how much new cat boxes are and if she knows of any car interior restoration experts nearby.
Carry cat into vets office and place on table.
Watch as cat rubs round vet and then sits obediently with tongue sticking out waiting for vet to place pill on it.
Stare in disbelief as vet so places pill, which cat swallows and then begins then lovingly lick vets hand.
Smile politely while vet says, “see how easy it is?”
Tickle cat on the top of the head, thus gaining cats trust.
Pick cat up and place onto lap in the bouncing baby position. Slowly bounce cat whilst singing gently and telling him what a, “pretty boy”, he is.
Having now well and truly gained cats trust, position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth as if giving a tickle. Slowly and gently apply pressure to either cheek and bring right hand that has been strategically hidden out of cats line of sight closer to cats mouth. As cat opens mouth, pop hidden pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Next, retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and try from new position.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut and count to ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call wife in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold tightly onto front and rear paws with both hands. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get wife to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth with the other. Watch has wife quickly removes hand from cats head and drops pill down ruler. Rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from floor and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get wife to lie on cat with just its head visible from below wife’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil, aim, and then blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed and get another pill from now nearly empty foil wrap. Place cat in cupboard closing door onto neck thus leaving just its head showing. Force mouth open with dessertspoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold cotton wool to cheek and check injection book for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with washing line and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Fetch heavy-duty pruning gloves from garden shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner and push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak, which was meant for dinner. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.
Get wife to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Upon arriving home make phone call to vets pleading for them to fit you in that evening.
Force cat into cat-box using barbecue tongs. Place cat-box onto rear seat of car and drive to vets.
Remove cat from back of neck and carry by scruff of neck into vet’s reception. Ask receptionist how much new cat boxes are and if she knows of any car interior restoration experts nearby.
Carry cat into vets office and place on table.
Watch as cat rubs round vet and then sits obediently with tongue sticking out waiting for vet to place pill on it.
Stare in disbelief as vet so places pill, which cat swallows and then begins then lovingly lick vets hand.
Smile politely while vet says, “see how easy it is?”