Viewing Thread:
"Rules for women"

(Was just sent these in an email. Enjoy!)



We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides...... Let it be.

1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1) Crying is blackmail.

1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.

1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol

1) You have enough clothes.

1) You have too many shoes.

1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

(Was just sent these in an email. Enjoy!)



We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides...... Let it be.

1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1) Crying is blackmail.

1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.

1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol

1) You have enough clothes.

1) You have too many shoes.

1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

Well Said...

Point number one I especially agree with.

He exploited our camping secret!!!

I nearly died laughing when I got them myself.

They're soooooo true.

Did you get this from Gibbleguts?

VenomByte wrote:

> They're soooooo true.

You sound like my girlfriend

Ahhh I laugh.

Mr Pink wrote:
> He exploited our camping secret!!!

lol, that funny

SHEEPY wrote:
> You sound like my girlfriend


Ah, but of course. I'm in touch with my femenine side, y'know.

(I have a pink floral duvet)

i agree with most of them - first prize.