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(Was just sent these in an email. Enjoy!)
We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides...... Let it be.
1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1) Crying is blackmail.
1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol
1) You have enough clothes.
1) You have too many shoes.
1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides...... Let it be.
1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1) Crying is blackmail.
1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol
1) You have enough clothes.
1) You have too many shoes.
1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
Page:
Crazy_Daisy wrote:
> Women are hopeless with maps. Fact.
Total fiction.
> Women are hopeless with maps. Fact.
Total fiction.
ack he didn't say respond to eveything :p
and yes its nice that you did but it makes reading other posts more of a chore. I have to scroll down though all the extra text ya see.
and yes its nice that you did but it makes reading other posts more of a chore. I have to scroll down though all the extra text ya see.
Crazy_Daisy wrote:
> 1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> I've not once used that excuse. But, I'm not married.
have you even had the chance to use that excuse? or are you saying you don't say no?
> 1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> I've not once used that excuse. But, I'm not married.
have you even had the chance to use that excuse? or are you saying you don't say no?
VenomByte wrote:
> (Was just sent these in an email. Enjoy!)
>
>
>
> We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
> here are the rules
> from the male side. These are our rules!
>
> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
> about
> you leaving it down.
I never complain about it! Honest!
> 1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides...... Let it be.
It's shopping day, too.
> 1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that
> way.
You havent been to a Topshop sale then, its about as violent as rugby.
> 1) Crying is blackmail.
*cries* it isnt!
> 1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> do not
> work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
> it!
Can't you put two and two together!?
> 1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
Yes
> 1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
I know... Except you can't solve "dilemas"
> 1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
I've not once used that excuse. But, I'm not married.
> 1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
:-O
> 1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Lol, again, I dont winge about this like half of my friends do. "I'm so fat Daisy" - "yup, you are" - "WHAT!"
> 1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Lol
> 1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done.
> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
Perfectly fair
> 1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
Lol, I dont talk through the programmes... only films.
> 1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
Women are hopeless with maps. Fact.
> 1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for
> example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
> no idea
> what mauve is.
Neither do I!
> 1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Damn right!
> 1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
> act like nothing's
> wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Ah but we make this one obvious, some guys do it too!
> 1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> answer you
> don't want to hear.
Lol.
> 1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> fine...
> Really.
No, you have to fuss for half an hour then wear what you were originally wearing. It's in the handbook of womanhood.
> 1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss
> such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol
Formula 1 is boring, footy is good though - so is lager - "WEY!"
> 1) You have enough clothes.
Never enough
> 1) You have too many shoes.
Shoes are like, compulsary. You have to have different shoes for different outfits. Nigh shoes, sumemr shoes, boots, winter shoes, sport shoes, casual shoes, slippers, and then you get down to colours...
> 1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Lol
> 1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> couch
> tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> camping.
Lol :-)
> (Was just sent these in an email. Enjoy!)
>
>
>
> We men always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
> here are the rules
> from the male side. These are our rules!
>
> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
> about
> you leaving it down.
I never complain about it! Honest!
> 1) Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides...... Let it be.
It's shopping day, too.
> 1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that
> way.
You havent been to a Topshop sale then, its about as violent as rugby.
> 1) Crying is blackmail.
*cries* it isnt!
> 1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> do not
> work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
> it!
Can't you put two and two together!?
> 1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
Yes
> 1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
I know... Except you can't solve "dilemas"
> 1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
I've not once used that excuse. But, I'm not married.
> 1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
:-O
> 1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Lol, again, I dont winge about this like half of my friends do. "I'm so fat Daisy" - "yup, you are" - "WHAT!"
> 1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Lol
> 1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done.
> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
Perfectly fair
> 1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
Lol, I dont talk through the programmes... only films.
> 1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
Women are hopeless with maps. Fact.
> 1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for
> example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
> no idea
> what mauve is.
Neither do I!
> 1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Damn right!
> 1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
> act like nothing's
> wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Ah but we make this one obvious, some guys do it too!
> 1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> answer you
> don't want to hear.
Lol.
> 1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> fine...
> Really.
No, you have to fuss for half an hour then wear what you were originally wearing. It's in the handbook of womanhood.
> 1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss
> such topics as football, Formula1 and alcohol
Formula 1 is boring, footy is good though - so is lager - "WEY!"
> 1) You have enough clothes.
Never enough
> 1) You have too many shoes.
Shoes are like, compulsary. You have to have different shoes for different outfits. Nigh shoes, sumemr shoes, boots, winter shoes, sport shoes, casual shoes, slippers, and then you get down to colours...
> 1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Lol
> 1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> couch
> tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> camping.
Lol :-)
Blank wrote:
> Point number one I especially agree with.
I thought point number one was better to be honest.
> Point number one I especially agree with.
I thought point number one was better to be honest.
heh, 'tis true
VenomByte wrote:
> 1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
*nods*
> 1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
*nods*
Some good stuff there Venombyte.
i agree with most of them - first prize.
SHEEPY wrote:
> You sound like my girlfriend
Ah, but of course. I'm in touch with my femenine side, y'know.
(I have a pink floral duvet)
> You sound like my girlfriend
Ah, but of course. I'm in touch with my femenine side, y'know.
(I have a pink floral duvet)
Page: