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My attempt at a ghost story for Hallowe'en.
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Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed, she stares at the pale light of her window. Without fail they appear: ashen, distorted, and mesmerizing. The faces always visit her, and they tell her secrets unguessed.
"Tomorrow you'll find a precious ring on your way to school" - and she did.
"Stop seeing that boy, he's not good enough for you" - she finished with him the very next day.
"Dye your hair blonde, it'll make you more alluring" - she followed their advice.
So when Lucy went to bed on Allhallows Eve, she waited and watched for the faces-in-the-window to appear again.
As the old grandfather clock on the landing chimed twelve times for midnight, a faint mist curled into view and gently gathered outside her bedroom window. Within its many-coloured hues, the gaunt and wizened features of an old woman slowly materialized behind the glass. Her lank shoulder-length hair was as black as obsidian, and her red eyes glinted with a fiery intent.
"Listen to me, my little princess," the ghostly woman's face whispered. "I have something very important to tell you. I want you to get up and go outside.... into the garden, at the front of the house. Come now. I have a special present for you which I know you'll love."
Lucy immediately rose up, climbed out of bed and silently sneaked downstairs. In the grainy darkness of the hallway she quickly located the front door, and as quietly as she could, opened it.
The night air was bitterly cold, and snow lay all around. Gently trembling, Lucy ventured into the garden to where the snowman was, which she and her brothers had built earlier that morning.
There was a tap-tap-tap on the living room window.
Lucy looked up and saw a face behind the glass, seemingly inside the house. It was that of the old black-haired woman.
"See those woods over there, my princess-" a long boney finger pointed in the general direction of a small expanse of trees, "-that's where I want you to go. Quickly! Go there now. I have a wonderful surprise for you."
Lucy turned and began to run towards the eaves of the wood - the delicate fabric of her nightie rippling in the chill zephyrs of the black and white night.
As her barefeet crossed the threshold of the dark boughs, within the swollen shadows the heartbeats of desperate strangers quickened.
Further and deeper into the cold trees Lucy ventured, unaware of the silent and menacing silhouettes slowly surrounding her.
As she approached the blurry fluctuating glow of a solitary lantern, bloodshot eyes narrowed, claws extended, and dry loveless lips were licked with an untamed hunger.
The unforseen was certain to happen.
-
Early next morning a man walking in the woods discovered Lucy standing perfectly still with her eyes closed. All around her blood-spattered feet lay the horribly mutilated remains of several unearthly creatures.
"Jesus Christ!" gasped the man. "What in God's name has happened here?! Are- are you alright?"
Lucy slowly opened her eyes, and in a calm voice spoke to him: "Would you believe me if I told you that you only had ten seconds to live?"
The man took a step back.
The unforseen was about to happen again.
---------------
Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed, she stares at the pale light of her window. Without fail they appear: ashen, distorted, and mesmerizing. The faces always visit her, and they tell her secrets unguessed.
"Tomorrow you'll find a precious ring on your way to school" - and she did.
"Stop seeing that boy, he's not good enough for you" - she finished with him the very next day.
"Dye your hair blonde, it'll make you more alluring" - she followed their advice.
So when Lucy went to bed on Allhallows Eve, she waited and watched for the faces-in-the-window to appear again.
As the old grandfather clock on the landing chimed twelve times for midnight, a faint mist curled into view and gently gathered outside her bedroom window. Within its many-coloured hues, the gaunt and wizened features of an old woman slowly materialized behind the glass. Her lank shoulder-length hair was as black as obsidian, and her red eyes glinted with a fiery intent.
"Listen to me, my little princess," the ghostly woman's face whispered. "I have something very important to tell you. I want you to get up and go outside.... into the garden, at the front of the house. Come now. I have a special present for you which I know you'll love."
Lucy immediately rose up, climbed out of bed and silently sneaked downstairs. In the grainy darkness of the hallway she quickly located the front door, and as quietly as she could, opened it.
The night air was bitterly cold, and snow lay all around. Gently trembling, Lucy ventured into the garden to where the snowman was, which she and her brothers had built earlier that morning.
There was a tap-tap-tap on the living room window.
Lucy looked up and saw a face behind the glass, seemingly inside the house. It was that of the old black-haired woman.
"See those woods over there, my princess-" a long boney finger pointed in the general direction of a small expanse of trees, "-that's where I want you to go. Quickly! Go there now. I have a wonderful surprise for you."
Lucy turned and began to run towards the eaves of the wood - the delicate fabric of her nightie rippling in the chill zephyrs of the black and white night.
As her barefeet crossed the threshold of the dark boughs, within the swollen shadows the heartbeats of desperate strangers quickened.
Further and deeper into the cold trees Lucy ventured, unaware of the silent and menacing silhouettes slowly surrounding her.
As she approached the blurry fluctuating glow of a solitary lantern, bloodshot eyes narrowed, claws extended, and dry loveless lips were licked with an untamed hunger.
The unforseen was certain to happen.
-
Early next morning a man walking in the woods discovered Lucy standing perfectly still with her eyes closed. All around her blood-spattered feet lay the horribly mutilated remains of several unearthly creatures.
"Jesus Christ!" gasped the man. "What in God's name has happened here?! Are- are you alright?"
Lucy slowly opened her eyes, and in a calm voice spoke to him: "Would you believe me if I told you that you only had ten seconds to live?"
The man took a step back.
The unforseen was about to happen again.
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Mm, it was ok, but I know damn well you can do better.
And maaaybe it's the drink talking, but dgjsjngl;;'.g?
And maaaybe it's the drink talking, but dgjsjngl;;'.g?
Not pitchforks, its like deliverance all over again!
*flees*
*flees*
My legion of adoring fans are coming for you with pitchforks and burning torches Mindfrig! No, thanks for your honesty, I think you're right. It was just a little thing I wrote. I have some deeply sick and brutally twisted stories on the way.
I didnt find it as alluring or deep as any of the other stories of your creation. The tenses in this story seemed to jump a little bit, the start seemed very rushed and without consequence and the ending was a little bland for my tastes.
Of course your legion of adoring fans will strike me down with lightning or something but I'm giving my honest opinion here. Personally I think you are best sticking with the sick and twisted in your writing and not the occult.
Of course your legion of adoring fans will strike me down with lightning or something but I'm giving my honest opinion here. Personally I think you are best sticking with the sick and twisted in your writing and not the occult.
El Blokey wrote:
> Black Glove wrote:
> Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed
>
> I misread that sentence horribly.
You've just made me spill my tea.
> Black Glove wrote:
> Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed
>
> I misread that sentence horribly.
You've just made me spill my tea.
RoJ wrote:
> Lmao.
> Lmao.
Lmao.
Black Glove wrote:
> Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed
I misread that sentence horribly.
> Every night when Lucy is tucked up in bed
I misread that sentence horribly.
Hehe, quite amusing at the end, paedophiles beware. Nice.
:)
(sorry, can't think of anything remotely original to say today)
(sorry, can't think of anything remotely original to say today)
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