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-Very- rough script for first episode of an animated series I'm working on with a friend, just wrote this out, might try and introduce more characters, there's not really enough in it as it is. Just thought you might like a read, and comments, please!
Captain Catering wears a red t-shirt, blue trousers, blue apron and a paper hat. Short and chubby.
Mighty Monkey is a monkey, wears no clothes, stands tall.
Trout is a large trout, possibly with a stubbly moustache and a monobrow.
-----------------------------
NARRATOR: IN THE MIDST OF THE FICTIONAL LAND OF WALES, TWO HEROES FACE ANOTHER DAY OF DANGER, UNCERTAINTY AND DUE-DILLIGENCE.
NARRATOR: WE JOIN THEM NOW, PREPARING FOR ANOTHER HARDWORKING DAY OF SERVING CUSTOMERS AND JUSTICE.
*Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey are staring into space.
*The camera zooms out, and shows that the Burger Bar has no customers. In fact, there are no people in the park at all. The camera zooms back in.
MM: Hey, CC, remember last summer, when we were just leaving school and love was in the air?
*screen wibbles as MM looks off into the distance, flashback
*CC and MM are dressed as Olivia Newton John and John Travola respectively, and are dancing around a fairground funhouse while singing to each other
*scene quickly cuts to CC staring at MM
CC: I think you've been spending too much time alone again MM, you've started altering your memories again.
MM: Damn it CC, I thought I was over that now.
*Trout appears, supervisor of the Burger Bar
TROUT: Come on now guys, there's plenty to be done. The hotdog warmer needs cleaning.
*CC and MM look to the Hotdog Warmer - a dead rat which has had it's leg caught between two turning poles is turned around over and over, slapping down onto the bottom of the warmer as it spins around slowly
CC: As disgusting as the warmer seems, I can guarantee it'll be just as dirty by tomorrow morning.
TROUT: What does it say on this badge? *points* Supervisor! That's what! I want it clean! I'm going for a fag.
*TROUT hobbles out past other various staff members, leaving trail of slime behind her
MM: It's a shame no attractive females work here, CC.
CC: To be honest I'd be worried if they did. No doubt you'd start multiplying in the store room, and the thought of you as a father sends shivers down my spine.
MM: Me too. I'd expect I'd only end up raising them to carry out my deep pent up intentions to murder all my previous girlfriends. I'd show them... saying I had no sense of humour... I'd make them laugh, laugh till they cry for mercy...
CC: You're babbling MM, and besides, this is our chance to go out into the park. I say we head to the Monkey Mobile and advance ourselves to a more exciting part of the story, perhaps where we could find ourselves fighting evil-doers.
MM: It'd make a satisfying change CC. Let's go.
*CC looks from side to side, then opens up MANUAL OF HEALTH AND SAFETY, to reveal it to be cut out and a red button placed inside, which when pressed, opens fridge door, which reveals two firemens poles which CC and MM slide down
*Bursting from a pile of Cardboard Boxes, the Monkey Mobile containing the Heroes, which is no more than an old cardboard box which magically resides on two oil drums of different sizes, rolls out, with MM at the wheel, wearing goggles
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING BURGER INTERLUDE, FLIES IN TOWARDS SCREEN THEN FADES OUT
*The Monkey Mobile speeds along, when it is suddenly by a flying Irish Potato Child, hurling CC and MM into the air to land in a pile of mashed potato
CC: Good grief MM, it's mashed potato.
*MM tastes it
MM: And just like how my mother used to make it.
CC: You never had a mother MM. You were created from the waste product of Hydrosime, a renewable fuel source that was pulled back from mass distribution in the late eighties because of threats from animal welfare pressure-groups.
MM: I'm sorry CC, you know what my memory's like.
*Another potato child flies into the air, exploding as it hits the wall above CC and MM, showering them with more potato
*CC and MM stand up - CC brushes himself down, then plays with the potato as he ponders
CC: My catering sense is tingling MM. I sense the hand of evil behind this vegetable massacure.
*MM is standing by an old Bobsleigh ride, we watch as we notice Irish Potato Children riding down the slide, hitting the bottom at full speed and catapulting into the air
MM: Look CC! There's nobody supervising this ride!
CC: Good grief MM! We've been eating Irish Potato Children!
MM: Gracious of Gods...!
*MM turns around and is sick, while another potato child flies and is splattered against the wall
CC: Where, my dear monkey, have the staff gone?
*CC looks into the distance, as the rollercoaster in the background falls fast down on the first curve, then flies off the tracks before landing in the nearby forest, and erupting into flames
CC: The rollercoaster doesn't normally come off the tracks till after 3PM! What on the Goddess of Feminity's moustache is going on here?
*A member of the Rides Staff, stereotyped as a spotty greasy haired moron who believes their half-assed attempts at wit will make up for their blatent lack of self confidence, approaches, walking like a zombie
CC: Heavens, it's a member of the rides staff. He seems to have been turned into the walking undead.
MM: Should we shoot him?
CC: Not yet. Although his slow and unprecise movements may perhaps indicate he has become a zombie and may indeed wish to feast on our brains and flesh, he could also easily just be still in the processes of digesting pasta from the staff canteen.
MM: True. That stuff would send even the strongest of minds into a state of lethargy.
RIDE STAFF: Braaaaaaaains!
CC: Ok, now you can shoot him.
*MM pulls out an old cowboy style silver sixshooter from a hidden location on his naked body, and shoots through the staff member's head, sending him flying backwards as his head splits
MM: No matter how many times I do it, I'll always get a lovely chill through my bones when I shoot someone.
*MM ducks out of the way of another flying potato child, and pulls the Monkey Mobile back from it's side
CC: In retrospect my naked friend, perhaps it would have been better to ask him where perhaps he had been, should we say, zombified, before putting an end to his admittedly useless existence.
MM: Even without their minds focused on eating brains, I doubt we'd find the time or effort to try and extract intelligence from a mind of the rides staff.
CC: It's times like this where I wish we were knocked out, and brought to the lair of the mastermind behind this evil scheme.
*CC and MM are knocked out from behind, as two ride staff members beat them over the back of their heads with spades
**BATMAN STYLE CC and MM face SWIRL
**Our heroes are bound to chairs inside a large half-dome. A video on THE JOYS OF CHILDBIRTH, A VIRTUAL BIRTH is being shown on a screen projected onto the inside of the dome - the ground is full of ride staff zombies
CC: Urgh...
MM: CC! Wake up!
CC: ...great flying pancakes MM, where are we?
MM: We're in the Cinema 180!
CC: Good heavens! No!
**The DUO watch on, as the zombies fall into each other, silence as they watch how incapable they seem
MM: CC, why do the ride staff not feast on each other?
CC: Because they feast on brains, MM.
**The screen changes to coloured spirals, and the zombies all stop walking around and face the screen
VOICE: My children! The time is near! Soon we will overtake this world!
CC: I know that voice...
VOICE: We will become an unstoppable force! THe world will be ours!
MM: Bit cliched, don't you think?
CC: Quiet MM.
*A face fades into view on the projected screen - It's none other than ERROL BROWN - LEAD SINGER of HOT CHOCOLATE
CC: Blast it! It's Errol Brown, Lead Singer of Hot Chocolate! What other twisted mind would have dreamed up this devilish scheme!
*YOU SEXY THING starts playing - Zombies start dancing badly, and Errol Brown's face starts spinning
CC: He's hypnotising everyone! Look away Mighty Monkey! Look away!
*The music starts speeding up, and Errols face starts spinning faster
CC: If I could only... reach... my catering utility belt...
*screen pauses for a moment, with appropriate freeze frame moments
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING BE ABLE TO REACH HIS UTILITY BELT?
NARRATOR: CAN THE EVIL LEAD SINGER OF HOT CHOCOLATE BE STOPPED AND DISASTER BE AVERTED?
NARRATOR: WILL THE MIGHTY MONKEY EVER FACE UP TO HIS INNER DEMONS?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT... NOW!
MM: Fear not CC! I will harness my energy into my only special power... to heat my body to a higher temperature than normal!
*MM concenrates fiercely, and his body starts turning red, which burns through the ropes binding him, he quickly stands up and cools down, then unties CC
CC: Good work MM! Now, to the screen!
*ERROL's face stops spinning, and talks
ERROL: Quickly! My children! Destroy Captain Catering! And dispose of that meddling Monkey!
*The Zombies turn around and begin lurching towards the Heroes
MM: What should we do, CC?
CC: The only thing we can do, MM. Kill every last one of them.
*CC gets out shotgun, and reloads it, MM brings out a samurai sword
*FIGHT SEQUENCE, which has overlays of *BLAM*, *HACK*, *SLICE* and *EXPLODE* etc OCCURS - CC and MM stand triumphant over mound of dead bodies
MM: It's a good job nobody loved any of them, CC.
CC: Everyone who isn't loved by anyone on this hell-hole of a planet should be hunt down and shot, as far as I'm concerned MM. I'd do it myself if I had the energy and motivation.
ERROL: So you win again Captain Catering! But this isn't the last you'll hear from me!
*ERROL speaks into a microphone, who then looks up to see CC and MM standing close to him
ERROL: Damn.
CC: You belong in a mueseum, Errol Brown.
MM: Wrong quote, CC.
ERROL: I guess you'd like to know why. Why I feel so determined to take over the world...
CC: Well actually, I was just wondering why the two ride staff who knocked us out were carrying spades.
ERROL: Maybe they were digging holes... for the trapdoors under the floor you're standing on!
*ERROL lunges forward to press a button on a control panel, which does nothing - He looks downwards in sadness
CC: I pity you, Errol. It's not your fault punk rock came along and killed off disco.
ERROL: I appreciate your comfort, but nothing will quell my quest for glory... now gentlemen, if you'd excuse me.
*ERROL kicks off from the floor, and his seat on wheels flies out the side door, CC and MM follow, but find themselves outside of a fire exit with Errol vanished - they hear his laughter as the CINEMA 180 begins to rise into the air from scaffolding and rockets
CC: Blast!
MM: Want me to shoot it down, CC?
*MM raises his gun, and CC places his hand on it to make him lower it
CC: No CC. Errol is of no risk, for the moment. He's not a bad person, he just needs to let go of the past.
MM: Your sentimental heart makes me want to cry my little eyes out, CC.
*They watch as the CINEMA 180 rockets into space
CC: Let's go back to the burger bar, MM. We've served enough justice for one day. Perhaps he really isn't such a bad guy after all, or perhaps I've just made a slight 'Errol' of judgement.
MM: Make a bad joke again CC and I'll blow your brains out.
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING INTERLUDE of a BURGER
*MM pulls the dead rat from the Hotdog Warmer as Trout slithers in through the back door
TROUT: You better be cleaning that properly.
CC: With a dignity and skill that even most delivery drivers would have a hard time sinking to.
TROUT: ...good.
*Half the back wall is smashed in, as a Giant Panda enters the Burger Bar
TROUT: PANDA!
PANDA: RAARRARAGHHHHGHGHHHGHHGHGHH
*The Panda grabs Trout in it's teeth, then pulls itself out of the burger bar, as more debris falls
MM: Looks like she was caught smoking, CC.
CC: Panda isn't the most forgiving of managers. I guess it'd be at least until the next episode until we see her again.
*SCREEN FREEZE
NARRATOR: ANOTHER DAY SAVED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL YET AGAIN BY CAPTAIN CATERING AND THE MIGHTY MONKEY!
NARRATOR: WILL WE EVER DISCOVER THE SECRET HAUNTING PAST OF CAPTAIN CATERING?
NARRATOR: WILL THE STAFF EVER SERVE FOOD TO CUSTOMERS?
NARRATOR: HOW MUCH WILL TROUT'S COUNCILLING COSTS COME TO FOR THIS EPISODE?
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING EVER LOSE HIS VIRGINITY?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, SAME CATERING OUTLET, SAME CATERING ASSISTANTS!
Captain Catering wears a red t-shirt, blue trousers, blue apron and a paper hat. Short and chubby.
Mighty Monkey is a monkey, wears no clothes, stands tall.
Trout is a large trout, possibly with a stubbly moustache and a monobrow.
-----------------------------
NARRATOR: IN THE MIDST OF THE FICTIONAL LAND OF WALES, TWO HEROES FACE ANOTHER DAY OF DANGER, UNCERTAINTY AND DUE-DILLIGENCE.
NARRATOR: WE JOIN THEM NOW, PREPARING FOR ANOTHER HARDWORKING DAY OF SERVING CUSTOMERS AND JUSTICE.
*Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey are staring into space.
*The camera zooms out, and shows that the Burger Bar has no customers. In fact, there are no people in the park at all. The camera zooms back in.
MM: Hey, CC, remember last summer, when we were just leaving school and love was in the air?
*screen wibbles as MM looks off into the distance, flashback
*CC and MM are dressed as Olivia Newton John and John Travola respectively, and are dancing around a fairground funhouse while singing to each other
*scene quickly cuts to CC staring at MM
CC: I think you've been spending too much time alone again MM, you've started altering your memories again.
MM: Damn it CC, I thought I was over that now.
*Trout appears, supervisor of the Burger Bar
TROUT: Come on now guys, there's plenty to be done. The hotdog warmer needs cleaning.
*CC and MM look to the Hotdog Warmer - a dead rat which has had it's leg caught between two turning poles is turned around over and over, slapping down onto the bottom of the warmer as it spins around slowly
CC: As disgusting as the warmer seems, I can guarantee it'll be just as dirty by tomorrow morning.
TROUT: What does it say on this badge? *points* Supervisor! That's what! I want it clean! I'm going for a fag.
*TROUT hobbles out past other various staff members, leaving trail of slime behind her
MM: It's a shame no attractive females work here, CC.
CC: To be honest I'd be worried if they did. No doubt you'd start multiplying in the store room, and the thought of you as a father sends shivers down my spine.
MM: Me too. I'd expect I'd only end up raising them to carry out my deep pent up intentions to murder all my previous girlfriends. I'd show them... saying I had no sense of humour... I'd make them laugh, laugh till they cry for mercy...
CC: You're babbling MM, and besides, this is our chance to go out into the park. I say we head to the Monkey Mobile and advance ourselves to a more exciting part of the story, perhaps where we could find ourselves fighting evil-doers.
MM: It'd make a satisfying change CC. Let's go.
*CC looks from side to side, then opens up MANUAL OF HEALTH AND SAFETY, to reveal it to be cut out and a red button placed inside, which when pressed, opens fridge door, which reveals two firemens poles which CC and MM slide down
*Bursting from a pile of Cardboard Boxes, the Monkey Mobile containing the Heroes, which is no more than an old cardboard box which magically resides on two oil drums of different sizes, rolls out, with MM at the wheel, wearing goggles
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING BURGER INTERLUDE, FLIES IN TOWARDS SCREEN THEN FADES OUT
*The Monkey Mobile speeds along, when it is suddenly by a flying Irish Potato Child, hurling CC and MM into the air to land in a pile of mashed potato
CC: Good grief MM, it's mashed potato.
*MM tastes it
MM: And just like how my mother used to make it.
CC: You never had a mother MM. You were created from the waste product of Hydrosime, a renewable fuel source that was pulled back from mass distribution in the late eighties because of threats from animal welfare pressure-groups.
MM: I'm sorry CC, you know what my memory's like.
*Another potato child flies into the air, exploding as it hits the wall above CC and MM, showering them with more potato
*CC and MM stand up - CC brushes himself down, then plays with the potato as he ponders
CC: My catering sense is tingling MM. I sense the hand of evil behind this vegetable massacure.
*MM is standing by an old Bobsleigh ride, we watch as we notice Irish Potato Children riding down the slide, hitting the bottom at full speed and catapulting into the air
MM: Look CC! There's nobody supervising this ride!
CC: Good grief MM! We've been eating Irish Potato Children!
MM: Gracious of Gods...!
*MM turns around and is sick, while another potato child flies and is splattered against the wall
CC: Where, my dear monkey, have the staff gone?
*CC looks into the distance, as the rollercoaster in the background falls fast down on the first curve, then flies off the tracks before landing in the nearby forest, and erupting into flames
CC: The rollercoaster doesn't normally come off the tracks till after 3PM! What on the Goddess of Feminity's moustache is going on here?
*A member of the Rides Staff, stereotyped as a spotty greasy haired moron who believes their half-assed attempts at wit will make up for their blatent lack of self confidence, approaches, walking like a zombie
CC: Heavens, it's a member of the rides staff. He seems to have been turned into the walking undead.
MM: Should we shoot him?
CC: Not yet. Although his slow and unprecise movements may perhaps indicate he has become a zombie and may indeed wish to feast on our brains and flesh, he could also easily just be still in the processes of digesting pasta from the staff canteen.
MM: True. That stuff would send even the strongest of minds into a state of lethargy.
RIDE STAFF: Braaaaaaaains!
CC: Ok, now you can shoot him.
*MM pulls out an old cowboy style silver sixshooter from a hidden location on his naked body, and shoots through the staff member's head, sending him flying backwards as his head splits
MM: No matter how many times I do it, I'll always get a lovely chill through my bones when I shoot someone.
*MM ducks out of the way of another flying potato child, and pulls the Monkey Mobile back from it's side
CC: In retrospect my naked friend, perhaps it would have been better to ask him where perhaps he had been, should we say, zombified, before putting an end to his admittedly useless existence.
MM: Even without their minds focused on eating brains, I doubt we'd find the time or effort to try and extract intelligence from a mind of the rides staff.
CC: It's times like this where I wish we were knocked out, and brought to the lair of the mastermind behind this evil scheme.
*CC and MM are knocked out from behind, as two ride staff members beat them over the back of their heads with spades
**BATMAN STYLE CC and MM face SWIRL
**Our heroes are bound to chairs inside a large half-dome. A video on THE JOYS OF CHILDBIRTH, A VIRTUAL BIRTH is being shown on a screen projected onto the inside of the dome - the ground is full of ride staff zombies
CC: Urgh...
MM: CC! Wake up!
CC: ...great flying pancakes MM, where are we?
MM: We're in the Cinema 180!
CC: Good heavens! No!
**The DUO watch on, as the zombies fall into each other, silence as they watch how incapable they seem
MM: CC, why do the ride staff not feast on each other?
CC: Because they feast on brains, MM.
**The screen changes to coloured spirals, and the zombies all stop walking around and face the screen
VOICE: My children! The time is near! Soon we will overtake this world!
CC: I know that voice...
VOICE: We will become an unstoppable force! THe world will be ours!
MM: Bit cliched, don't you think?
CC: Quiet MM.
*A face fades into view on the projected screen - It's none other than ERROL BROWN - LEAD SINGER of HOT CHOCOLATE
CC: Blast it! It's Errol Brown, Lead Singer of Hot Chocolate! What other twisted mind would have dreamed up this devilish scheme!
*YOU SEXY THING starts playing - Zombies start dancing badly, and Errol Brown's face starts spinning
CC: He's hypnotising everyone! Look away Mighty Monkey! Look away!
*The music starts speeding up, and Errols face starts spinning faster
CC: If I could only... reach... my catering utility belt...
*screen pauses for a moment, with appropriate freeze frame moments
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING BE ABLE TO REACH HIS UTILITY BELT?
NARRATOR: CAN THE EVIL LEAD SINGER OF HOT CHOCOLATE BE STOPPED AND DISASTER BE AVERTED?
NARRATOR: WILL THE MIGHTY MONKEY EVER FACE UP TO HIS INNER DEMONS?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT... NOW!
MM: Fear not CC! I will harness my energy into my only special power... to heat my body to a higher temperature than normal!
*MM concenrates fiercely, and his body starts turning red, which burns through the ropes binding him, he quickly stands up and cools down, then unties CC
CC: Good work MM! Now, to the screen!
*ERROL's face stops spinning, and talks
ERROL: Quickly! My children! Destroy Captain Catering! And dispose of that meddling Monkey!
*The Zombies turn around and begin lurching towards the Heroes
MM: What should we do, CC?
CC: The only thing we can do, MM. Kill every last one of them.
*CC gets out shotgun, and reloads it, MM brings out a samurai sword
*FIGHT SEQUENCE, which has overlays of *BLAM*, *HACK*, *SLICE* and *EXPLODE* etc OCCURS - CC and MM stand triumphant over mound of dead bodies
MM: It's a good job nobody loved any of them, CC.
CC: Everyone who isn't loved by anyone on this hell-hole of a planet should be hunt down and shot, as far as I'm concerned MM. I'd do it myself if I had the energy and motivation.
ERROL: So you win again Captain Catering! But this isn't the last you'll hear from me!
*ERROL speaks into a microphone, who then looks up to see CC and MM standing close to him
ERROL: Damn.
CC: You belong in a mueseum, Errol Brown.
MM: Wrong quote, CC.
ERROL: I guess you'd like to know why. Why I feel so determined to take over the world...
CC: Well actually, I was just wondering why the two ride staff who knocked us out were carrying spades.
ERROL: Maybe they were digging holes... for the trapdoors under the floor you're standing on!
*ERROL lunges forward to press a button on a control panel, which does nothing - He looks downwards in sadness
CC: I pity you, Errol. It's not your fault punk rock came along and killed off disco.
ERROL: I appreciate your comfort, but nothing will quell my quest for glory... now gentlemen, if you'd excuse me.
*ERROL kicks off from the floor, and his seat on wheels flies out the side door, CC and MM follow, but find themselves outside of a fire exit with Errol vanished - they hear his laughter as the CINEMA 180 begins to rise into the air from scaffolding and rockets
CC: Blast!
MM: Want me to shoot it down, CC?
*MM raises his gun, and CC places his hand on it to make him lower it
CC: No CC. Errol is of no risk, for the moment. He's not a bad person, he just needs to let go of the past.
MM: Your sentimental heart makes me want to cry my little eyes out, CC.
*They watch as the CINEMA 180 rockets into space
CC: Let's go back to the burger bar, MM. We've served enough justice for one day. Perhaps he really isn't such a bad guy after all, or perhaps I've just made a slight 'Errol' of judgement.
MM: Make a bad joke again CC and I'll blow your brains out.
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING INTERLUDE of a BURGER
*MM pulls the dead rat from the Hotdog Warmer as Trout slithers in through the back door
TROUT: You better be cleaning that properly.
CC: With a dignity and skill that even most delivery drivers would have a hard time sinking to.
TROUT: ...good.
*Half the back wall is smashed in, as a Giant Panda enters the Burger Bar
TROUT: PANDA!
PANDA: RAARRARAGHHHHGHGHHHGHHGHGHH
*The Panda grabs Trout in it's teeth, then pulls itself out of the burger bar, as more debris falls
MM: Looks like she was caught smoking, CC.
CC: Panda isn't the most forgiving of managers. I guess it'd be at least until the next episode until we see her again.
*SCREEN FREEZE
NARRATOR: ANOTHER DAY SAVED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL YET AGAIN BY CAPTAIN CATERING AND THE MIGHTY MONKEY!
NARRATOR: WILL WE EVER DISCOVER THE SECRET HAUNTING PAST OF CAPTAIN CATERING?
NARRATOR: WILL THE STAFF EVER SERVE FOOD TO CUSTOMERS?
NARRATOR: HOW MUCH WILL TROUT'S COUNCILLING COSTS COME TO FOR THIS EPISODE?
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING EVER LOSE HIS VIRGINITY?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, SAME CATERING OUTLET, SAME CATERING ASSISTANTS!
I can see this being on late at night and getting a cult following....
Heheh, Sam & Max rocks.
This isn't about you, monkey_man... it's about me. I'm sorry... you understand, right?
And I did feel a large part of my love for Sam and Max rising through the writing. I hope I'm not directly copying them, I admire Steve Purcell far too much to steal from him... I guess it's more sub-conscious thievery.
"As long as evil stalks these lands, then we'll be there, fighting for justice with the possibility of killing thousands of innocent people on the way."
And I did feel a large part of my love for Sam and Max rising through the writing. I hope I'm not directly copying them, I admire Steve Purcell far too much to steal from him... I guess it's more sub-conscious thievery.
"As long as evil stalks these lands, then we'll be there, fighting for justice with the possibility of killing thousands of innocent people on the way."
This is about me, right?
Heh :D
I like the whole play on Batman running throughout.
I especially liked the characters, Irish Potato Children and monkey mobile.
More please.
I like the whole play on Batman running throughout.
I especially liked the characters, Irish Potato Children and monkey mobile.
More please.
Heh, strangely, this kinda reminds me of Sam & Max...
Tis funny :-)
Tis funny :-)
Oh, erm, Mighty Monkey's only secret power changes with every episode... other things, such as a flashback at the beginning, happen with every episode too.
It's fun writing, but needs a good amount of work.
It's fun writing, but needs a good amount of work.
-Very- rough script for first episode of an animated series I'm working on with a friend, just wrote this out, might try and introduce more characters, there's not really enough in it as it is. Just thought you might like a read, and comments, please!
Captain Catering wears a red t-shirt, blue trousers, blue apron and a paper hat. Short and chubby.
Mighty Monkey is a monkey, wears no clothes, stands tall.
Trout is a large trout, possibly with a stubbly moustache and a monobrow.
-----------------------------
NARRATOR: IN THE MIDST OF THE FICTIONAL LAND OF WALES, TWO HEROES FACE ANOTHER DAY OF DANGER, UNCERTAINTY AND DUE-DILLIGENCE.
NARRATOR: WE JOIN THEM NOW, PREPARING FOR ANOTHER HARDWORKING DAY OF SERVING CUSTOMERS AND JUSTICE.
*Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey are staring into space.
*The camera zooms out, and shows that the Burger Bar has no customers. In fact, there are no people in the park at all. The camera zooms back in.
MM: Hey, CC, remember last summer, when we were just leaving school and love was in the air?
*screen wibbles as MM looks off into the distance, flashback
*CC and MM are dressed as Olivia Newton John and John Travola respectively, and are dancing around a fairground funhouse while singing to each other
*scene quickly cuts to CC staring at MM
CC: I think you've been spending too much time alone again MM, you've started altering your memories again.
MM: Damn it CC, I thought I was over that now.
*Trout appears, supervisor of the Burger Bar
TROUT: Come on now guys, there's plenty to be done. The hotdog warmer needs cleaning.
*CC and MM look to the Hotdog Warmer - a dead rat which has had it's leg caught between two turning poles is turned around over and over, slapping down onto the bottom of the warmer as it spins around slowly
CC: As disgusting as the warmer seems, I can guarantee it'll be just as dirty by tomorrow morning.
TROUT: What does it say on this badge? *points* Supervisor! That's what! I want it clean! I'm going for a fag.
*TROUT hobbles out past other various staff members, leaving trail of slime behind her
MM: It's a shame no attractive females work here, CC.
CC: To be honest I'd be worried if they did. No doubt you'd start multiplying in the store room, and the thought of you as a father sends shivers down my spine.
MM: Me too. I'd expect I'd only end up raising them to carry out my deep pent up intentions to murder all my previous girlfriends. I'd show them... saying I had no sense of humour... I'd make them laugh, laugh till they cry for mercy...
CC: You're babbling MM, and besides, this is our chance to go out into the park. I say we head to the Monkey Mobile and advance ourselves to a more exciting part of the story, perhaps where we could find ourselves fighting evil-doers.
MM: It'd make a satisfying change CC. Let's go.
*CC looks from side to side, then opens up MANUAL OF HEALTH AND SAFETY, to reveal it to be cut out and a red button placed inside, which when pressed, opens fridge door, which reveals two firemens poles which CC and MM slide down
*Bursting from a pile of Cardboard Boxes, the Monkey Mobile containing the Heroes, which is no more than an old cardboard box which magically resides on two oil drums of different sizes, rolls out, with MM at the wheel, wearing goggles
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING BURGER INTERLUDE, FLIES IN TOWARDS SCREEN THEN FADES OUT
*The Monkey Mobile speeds along, when it is suddenly by a flying Irish Potato Child, hurling CC and MM into the air to land in a pile of mashed potato
CC: Good grief MM, it's mashed potato.
*MM tastes it
MM: And just like how my mother used to make it.
CC: You never had a mother MM. You were created from the waste product of Hydrosime, a renewable fuel source that was pulled back from mass distribution in the late eighties because of threats from animal welfare pressure-groups.
MM: I'm sorry CC, you know what my memory's like.
*Another potato child flies into the air, exploding as it hits the wall above CC and MM, showering them with more potato
*CC and MM stand up - CC brushes himself down, then plays with the potato as he ponders
CC: My catering sense is tingling MM. I sense the hand of evil behind this vegetable massacure.
*MM is standing by an old Bobsleigh ride, we watch as we notice Irish Potato Children riding down the slide, hitting the bottom at full speed and catapulting into the air
MM: Look CC! There's nobody supervising this ride!
CC: Good grief MM! We've been eating Irish Potato Children!
MM: Gracious of Gods...!
*MM turns around and is sick, while another potato child flies and is splattered against the wall
CC: Where, my dear monkey, have the staff gone?
*CC looks into the distance, as the rollercoaster in the background falls fast down on the first curve, then flies off the tracks before landing in the nearby forest, and erupting into flames
CC: The rollercoaster doesn't normally come off the tracks till after 3PM! What on the Goddess of Feminity's moustache is going on here?
*A member of the Rides Staff, stereotyped as a spotty greasy haired moron who believes their half-assed attempts at wit will make up for their blatent lack of self confidence, approaches, walking like a zombie
CC: Heavens, it's a member of the rides staff. He seems to have been turned into the walking undead.
MM: Should we shoot him?
CC: Not yet. Although his slow and unprecise movements may perhaps indicate he has become a zombie and may indeed wish to feast on our brains and flesh, he could also easily just be still in the processes of digesting pasta from the staff canteen.
MM: True. That stuff would send even the strongest of minds into a state of lethargy.
RIDE STAFF: Braaaaaaaains!
CC: Ok, now you can shoot him.
*MM pulls out an old cowboy style silver sixshooter from a hidden location on his naked body, and shoots through the staff member's head, sending him flying backwards as his head splits
MM: No matter how many times I do it, I'll always get a lovely chill through my bones when I shoot someone.
*MM ducks out of the way of another flying potato child, and pulls the Monkey Mobile back from it's side
CC: In retrospect my naked friend, perhaps it would have been better to ask him where perhaps he had been, should we say, zombified, before putting an end to his admittedly useless existence.
MM: Even without their minds focused on eating brains, I doubt we'd find the time or effort to try and extract intelligence from a mind of the rides staff.
CC: It's times like this where I wish we were knocked out, and brought to the lair of the mastermind behind this evil scheme.
*CC and MM are knocked out from behind, as two ride staff members beat them over the back of their heads with spades
**BATMAN STYLE CC and MM face SWIRL
**Our heroes are bound to chairs inside a large half-dome. A video on THE JOYS OF CHILDBIRTH, A VIRTUAL BIRTH is being shown on a screen projected onto the inside of the dome - the ground is full of ride staff zombies
CC: Urgh...
MM: CC! Wake up!
CC: ...great flying pancakes MM, where are we?
MM: We're in the Cinema 180!
CC: Good heavens! No!
**The DUO watch on, as the zombies fall into each other, silence as they watch how incapable they seem
MM: CC, why do the ride staff not feast on each other?
CC: Because they feast on brains, MM.
**The screen changes to coloured spirals, and the zombies all stop walking around and face the screen
VOICE: My children! The time is near! Soon we will overtake this world!
CC: I know that voice...
VOICE: We will become an unstoppable force! THe world will be ours!
MM: Bit cliched, don't you think?
CC: Quiet MM.
*A face fades into view on the projected screen - It's none other than ERROL BROWN - LEAD SINGER of HOT CHOCOLATE
CC: Blast it! It's Errol Brown, Lead Singer of Hot Chocolate! What other twisted mind would have dreamed up this devilish scheme!
*YOU SEXY THING starts playing - Zombies start dancing badly, and Errol Brown's face starts spinning
CC: He's hypnotising everyone! Look away Mighty Monkey! Look away!
*The music starts speeding up, and Errols face starts spinning faster
CC: If I could only... reach... my catering utility belt...
*screen pauses for a moment, with appropriate freeze frame moments
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING BE ABLE TO REACH HIS UTILITY BELT?
NARRATOR: CAN THE EVIL LEAD SINGER OF HOT CHOCOLATE BE STOPPED AND DISASTER BE AVERTED?
NARRATOR: WILL THE MIGHTY MONKEY EVER FACE UP TO HIS INNER DEMONS?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT... NOW!
MM: Fear not CC! I will harness my energy into my only special power... to heat my body to a higher temperature than normal!
*MM concenrates fiercely, and his body starts turning red, which burns through the ropes binding him, he quickly stands up and cools down, then unties CC
CC: Good work MM! Now, to the screen!
*ERROL's face stops spinning, and talks
ERROL: Quickly! My children! Destroy Captain Catering! And dispose of that meddling Monkey!
*The Zombies turn around and begin lurching towards the Heroes
MM: What should we do, CC?
CC: The only thing we can do, MM. Kill every last one of them.
*CC gets out shotgun, and reloads it, MM brings out a samurai sword
*FIGHT SEQUENCE, which has overlays of *BLAM*, *HACK*, *SLICE* and *EXPLODE* etc OCCURS - CC and MM stand triumphant over mound of dead bodies
MM: It's a good job nobody loved any of them, CC.
CC: Everyone who isn't loved by anyone on this hell-hole of a planet should be hunt down and shot, as far as I'm concerned MM. I'd do it myself if I had the energy and motivation.
ERROL: So you win again Captain Catering! But this isn't the last you'll hear from me!
*ERROL speaks into a microphone, who then looks up to see CC and MM standing close to him
ERROL: Damn.
CC: You belong in a mueseum, Errol Brown.
MM: Wrong quote, CC.
ERROL: I guess you'd like to know why. Why I feel so determined to take over the world...
CC: Well actually, I was just wondering why the two ride staff who knocked us out were carrying spades.
ERROL: Maybe they were digging holes... for the trapdoors under the floor you're standing on!
*ERROL lunges forward to press a button on a control panel, which does nothing - He looks downwards in sadness
CC: I pity you, Errol. It's not your fault punk rock came along and killed off disco.
ERROL: I appreciate your comfort, but nothing will quell my quest for glory... now gentlemen, if you'd excuse me.
*ERROL kicks off from the floor, and his seat on wheels flies out the side door, CC and MM follow, but find themselves outside of a fire exit with Errol vanished - they hear his laughter as the CINEMA 180 begins to rise into the air from scaffolding and rockets
CC: Blast!
MM: Want me to shoot it down, CC?
*MM raises his gun, and CC places his hand on it to make him lower it
CC: No CC. Errol is of no risk, for the moment. He's not a bad person, he just needs to let go of the past.
MM: Your sentimental heart makes me want to cry my little eyes out, CC.
*They watch as the CINEMA 180 rockets into space
CC: Let's go back to the burger bar, MM. We've served enough justice for one day. Perhaps he really isn't such a bad guy after all, or perhaps I've just made a slight 'Errol' of judgement.
MM: Make a bad joke again CC and I'll blow your brains out.
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING INTERLUDE of a BURGER
*MM pulls the dead rat from the Hotdog Warmer as Trout slithers in through the back door
TROUT: You better be cleaning that properly.
CC: With a dignity and skill that even most delivery drivers would have a hard time sinking to.
TROUT: ...good.
*Half the back wall is smashed in, as a Giant Panda enters the Burger Bar
TROUT: PANDA!
PANDA: RAARRARAGHHHHGHGHHHGHHGHGHH
*The Panda grabs Trout in it's teeth, then pulls itself out of the burger bar, as more debris falls
MM: Looks like she was caught smoking, CC.
CC: Panda isn't the most forgiving of managers. I guess it'd be at least until the next episode until we see her again.
*SCREEN FREEZE
NARRATOR: ANOTHER DAY SAVED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL YET AGAIN BY CAPTAIN CATERING AND THE MIGHTY MONKEY!
NARRATOR: WILL WE EVER DISCOVER THE SECRET HAUNTING PAST OF CAPTAIN CATERING?
NARRATOR: WILL THE STAFF EVER SERVE FOOD TO CUSTOMERS?
NARRATOR: HOW MUCH WILL TROUT'S COUNCILLING COSTS COME TO FOR THIS EPISODE?
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING EVER LOSE HIS VIRGINITY?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, SAME CATERING OUTLET, SAME CATERING ASSISTANTS!
Captain Catering wears a red t-shirt, blue trousers, blue apron and a paper hat. Short and chubby.
Mighty Monkey is a monkey, wears no clothes, stands tall.
Trout is a large trout, possibly with a stubbly moustache and a monobrow.
-----------------------------
NARRATOR: IN THE MIDST OF THE FICTIONAL LAND OF WALES, TWO HEROES FACE ANOTHER DAY OF DANGER, UNCERTAINTY AND DUE-DILLIGENCE.
NARRATOR: WE JOIN THEM NOW, PREPARING FOR ANOTHER HARDWORKING DAY OF SERVING CUSTOMERS AND JUSTICE.
*Captain Catering and the Mighty Monkey are staring into space.
*The camera zooms out, and shows that the Burger Bar has no customers. In fact, there are no people in the park at all. The camera zooms back in.
MM: Hey, CC, remember last summer, when we were just leaving school and love was in the air?
*screen wibbles as MM looks off into the distance, flashback
*CC and MM are dressed as Olivia Newton John and John Travola respectively, and are dancing around a fairground funhouse while singing to each other
*scene quickly cuts to CC staring at MM
CC: I think you've been spending too much time alone again MM, you've started altering your memories again.
MM: Damn it CC, I thought I was over that now.
*Trout appears, supervisor of the Burger Bar
TROUT: Come on now guys, there's plenty to be done. The hotdog warmer needs cleaning.
*CC and MM look to the Hotdog Warmer - a dead rat which has had it's leg caught between two turning poles is turned around over and over, slapping down onto the bottom of the warmer as it spins around slowly
CC: As disgusting as the warmer seems, I can guarantee it'll be just as dirty by tomorrow morning.
TROUT: What does it say on this badge? *points* Supervisor! That's what! I want it clean! I'm going for a fag.
*TROUT hobbles out past other various staff members, leaving trail of slime behind her
MM: It's a shame no attractive females work here, CC.
CC: To be honest I'd be worried if they did. No doubt you'd start multiplying in the store room, and the thought of you as a father sends shivers down my spine.
MM: Me too. I'd expect I'd only end up raising them to carry out my deep pent up intentions to murder all my previous girlfriends. I'd show them... saying I had no sense of humour... I'd make them laugh, laugh till they cry for mercy...
CC: You're babbling MM, and besides, this is our chance to go out into the park. I say we head to the Monkey Mobile and advance ourselves to a more exciting part of the story, perhaps where we could find ourselves fighting evil-doers.
MM: It'd make a satisfying change CC. Let's go.
*CC looks from side to side, then opens up MANUAL OF HEALTH AND SAFETY, to reveal it to be cut out and a red button placed inside, which when pressed, opens fridge door, which reveals two firemens poles which CC and MM slide down
*Bursting from a pile of Cardboard Boxes, the Monkey Mobile containing the Heroes, which is no more than an old cardboard box which magically resides on two oil drums of different sizes, rolls out, with MM at the wheel, wearing goggles
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING BURGER INTERLUDE, FLIES IN TOWARDS SCREEN THEN FADES OUT
*The Monkey Mobile speeds along, when it is suddenly by a flying Irish Potato Child, hurling CC and MM into the air to land in a pile of mashed potato
CC: Good grief MM, it's mashed potato.
*MM tastes it
MM: And just like how my mother used to make it.
CC: You never had a mother MM. You were created from the waste product of Hydrosime, a renewable fuel source that was pulled back from mass distribution in the late eighties because of threats from animal welfare pressure-groups.
MM: I'm sorry CC, you know what my memory's like.
*Another potato child flies into the air, exploding as it hits the wall above CC and MM, showering them with more potato
*CC and MM stand up - CC brushes himself down, then plays with the potato as he ponders
CC: My catering sense is tingling MM. I sense the hand of evil behind this vegetable massacure.
*MM is standing by an old Bobsleigh ride, we watch as we notice Irish Potato Children riding down the slide, hitting the bottom at full speed and catapulting into the air
MM: Look CC! There's nobody supervising this ride!
CC: Good grief MM! We've been eating Irish Potato Children!
MM: Gracious of Gods...!
*MM turns around and is sick, while another potato child flies and is splattered against the wall
CC: Where, my dear monkey, have the staff gone?
*CC looks into the distance, as the rollercoaster in the background falls fast down on the first curve, then flies off the tracks before landing in the nearby forest, and erupting into flames
CC: The rollercoaster doesn't normally come off the tracks till after 3PM! What on the Goddess of Feminity's moustache is going on here?
*A member of the Rides Staff, stereotyped as a spotty greasy haired moron who believes their half-assed attempts at wit will make up for their blatent lack of self confidence, approaches, walking like a zombie
CC: Heavens, it's a member of the rides staff. He seems to have been turned into the walking undead.
MM: Should we shoot him?
CC: Not yet. Although his slow and unprecise movements may perhaps indicate he has become a zombie and may indeed wish to feast on our brains and flesh, he could also easily just be still in the processes of digesting pasta from the staff canteen.
MM: True. That stuff would send even the strongest of minds into a state of lethargy.
RIDE STAFF: Braaaaaaaains!
CC: Ok, now you can shoot him.
*MM pulls out an old cowboy style silver sixshooter from a hidden location on his naked body, and shoots through the staff member's head, sending him flying backwards as his head splits
MM: No matter how many times I do it, I'll always get a lovely chill through my bones when I shoot someone.
*MM ducks out of the way of another flying potato child, and pulls the Monkey Mobile back from it's side
CC: In retrospect my naked friend, perhaps it would have been better to ask him where perhaps he had been, should we say, zombified, before putting an end to his admittedly useless existence.
MM: Even without their minds focused on eating brains, I doubt we'd find the time or effort to try and extract intelligence from a mind of the rides staff.
CC: It's times like this where I wish we were knocked out, and brought to the lair of the mastermind behind this evil scheme.
*CC and MM are knocked out from behind, as two ride staff members beat them over the back of their heads with spades
**BATMAN STYLE CC and MM face SWIRL
**Our heroes are bound to chairs inside a large half-dome. A video on THE JOYS OF CHILDBIRTH, A VIRTUAL BIRTH is being shown on a screen projected onto the inside of the dome - the ground is full of ride staff zombies
CC: Urgh...
MM: CC! Wake up!
CC: ...great flying pancakes MM, where are we?
MM: We're in the Cinema 180!
CC: Good heavens! No!
**The DUO watch on, as the zombies fall into each other, silence as they watch how incapable they seem
MM: CC, why do the ride staff not feast on each other?
CC: Because they feast on brains, MM.
**The screen changes to coloured spirals, and the zombies all stop walking around and face the screen
VOICE: My children! The time is near! Soon we will overtake this world!
CC: I know that voice...
VOICE: We will become an unstoppable force! THe world will be ours!
MM: Bit cliched, don't you think?
CC: Quiet MM.
*A face fades into view on the projected screen - It's none other than ERROL BROWN - LEAD SINGER of HOT CHOCOLATE
CC: Blast it! It's Errol Brown, Lead Singer of Hot Chocolate! What other twisted mind would have dreamed up this devilish scheme!
*YOU SEXY THING starts playing - Zombies start dancing badly, and Errol Brown's face starts spinning
CC: He's hypnotising everyone! Look away Mighty Monkey! Look away!
*The music starts speeding up, and Errols face starts spinning faster
CC: If I could only... reach... my catering utility belt...
*screen pauses for a moment, with appropriate freeze frame moments
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING BE ABLE TO REACH HIS UTILITY BELT?
NARRATOR: CAN THE EVIL LEAD SINGER OF HOT CHOCOLATE BE STOPPED AND DISASTER BE AVERTED?
NARRATOR: WILL THE MIGHTY MONKEY EVER FACE UP TO HIS INNER DEMONS?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT... NOW!
MM: Fear not CC! I will harness my energy into my only special power... to heat my body to a higher temperature than normal!
*MM concenrates fiercely, and his body starts turning red, which burns through the ropes binding him, he quickly stands up and cools down, then unties CC
CC: Good work MM! Now, to the screen!
*ERROL's face stops spinning, and talks
ERROL: Quickly! My children! Destroy Captain Catering! And dispose of that meddling Monkey!
*The Zombies turn around and begin lurching towards the Heroes
MM: What should we do, CC?
CC: The only thing we can do, MM. Kill every last one of them.
*CC gets out shotgun, and reloads it, MM brings out a samurai sword
*FIGHT SEQUENCE, which has overlays of *BLAM*, *HACK*, *SLICE* and *EXPLODE* etc OCCURS - CC and MM stand triumphant over mound of dead bodies
MM: It's a good job nobody loved any of them, CC.
CC: Everyone who isn't loved by anyone on this hell-hole of a planet should be hunt down and shot, as far as I'm concerned MM. I'd do it myself if I had the energy and motivation.
ERROL: So you win again Captain Catering! But this isn't the last you'll hear from me!
*ERROL speaks into a microphone, who then looks up to see CC and MM standing close to him
ERROL: Damn.
CC: You belong in a mueseum, Errol Brown.
MM: Wrong quote, CC.
ERROL: I guess you'd like to know why. Why I feel so determined to take over the world...
CC: Well actually, I was just wondering why the two ride staff who knocked us out were carrying spades.
ERROL: Maybe they were digging holes... for the trapdoors under the floor you're standing on!
*ERROL lunges forward to press a button on a control panel, which does nothing - He looks downwards in sadness
CC: I pity you, Errol. It's not your fault punk rock came along and killed off disco.
ERROL: I appreciate your comfort, but nothing will quell my quest for glory... now gentlemen, if you'd excuse me.
*ERROL kicks off from the floor, and his seat on wheels flies out the side door, CC and MM follow, but find themselves outside of a fire exit with Errol vanished - they hear his laughter as the CINEMA 180 begins to rise into the air from scaffolding and rockets
CC: Blast!
MM: Want me to shoot it down, CC?
*MM raises his gun, and CC places his hand on it to make him lower it
CC: No CC. Errol is of no risk, for the moment. He's not a bad person, he just needs to let go of the past.
MM: Your sentimental heart makes me want to cry my little eyes out, CC.
*They watch as the CINEMA 180 rockets into space
CC: Let's go back to the burger bar, MM. We've served enough justice for one day. Perhaps he really isn't such a bad guy after all, or perhaps I've just made a slight 'Errol' of judgement.
MM: Make a bad joke again CC and I'll blow your brains out.
*BATMAN STYLE SPINNING INTERLUDE of a BURGER
*MM pulls the dead rat from the Hotdog Warmer as Trout slithers in through the back door
TROUT: You better be cleaning that properly.
CC: With a dignity and skill that even most delivery drivers would have a hard time sinking to.
TROUT: ...good.
*Half the back wall is smashed in, as a Giant Panda enters the Burger Bar
TROUT: PANDA!
PANDA: RAARRARAGHHHHGHGHHHGHHGHGHH
*The Panda grabs Trout in it's teeth, then pulls itself out of the burger bar, as more debris falls
MM: Looks like she was caught smoking, CC.
CC: Panda isn't the most forgiving of managers. I guess it'd be at least until the next episode until we see her again.
*SCREEN FREEZE
NARRATOR: ANOTHER DAY SAVED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL YET AGAIN BY CAPTAIN CATERING AND THE MIGHTY MONKEY!
NARRATOR: WILL WE EVER DISCOVER THE SECRET HAUNTING PAST OF CAPTAIN CATERING?
NARRATOR: WILL THE STAFF EVER SERVE FOOD TO CUSTOMERS?
NARRATOR: HOW MUCH WILL TROUT'S COUNCILLING COSTS COME TO FOR THIS EPISODE?
NARRATOR: WILL CAPTAIN CATERING EVER LOSE HIS VIRGINITY?
NARRATOR: FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, SAME CATERING OUTLET, SAME CATERING ASSISTANTS!