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..of sr user health scares.
After a month or so of telling myself it was nothing and hoping it would go away, I went to the doctor today about my lump.
The first doctor wasn't sure, got another to take a look, who seemed to rule out most of the less serious possibilities, but still wouldn't commit to an opinion.
Nobody mentioned the C word, which helped, but I'm being sent for more tests, we're trying to get it looked at before I go away for the year (great timing. Then again I suppose I should have got it seen to quicker).
So today was the first day I've not been able to pretend to myself that it was nothing. Feeling pretty scared, worried, stressed.
Today's my sister's birthday, we went for a meal, I sat there for a couple of hours like a sulking sullen teenager, ie) a bit of a nob. I've not told anyone about it though, bar some doctors and now a bunch of total strangers. Hell, I only admitted it to myself today.
I guess I'm still not really clear how I feel. Until recently I kind of felt ready to die. I don't know if that was just naive, or if things have changed since the Canada thing sort of gave me something to stick around for. Or maybe I still feel that way, underneath everything else. I'm not sure.
I was walking along the side of a road, cars racing just past me, thinking 'go on then'.
This post was supposed to get things off my chest and try to make it clear, what I was thinking.
I guess I managed the first bit.
Thanks.
After a month or so of telling myself it was nothing and hoping it would go away, I went to the doctor today about my lump.
The first doctor wasn't sure, got another to take a look, who seemed to rule out most of the less serious possibilities, but still wouldn't commit to an opinion.
Nobody mentioned the C word, which helped, but I'm being sent for more tests, we're trying to get it looked at before I go away for the year (great timing. Then again I suppose I should have got it seen to quicker).
So today was the first day I've not been able to pretend to myself that it was nothing. Feeling pretty scared, worried, stressed.
Today's my sister's birthday, we went for a meal, I sat there for a couple of hours like a sulking sullen teenager, ie) a bit of a nob. I've not told anyone about it though, bar some doctors and now a bunch of total strangers. Hell, I only admitted it to myself today.
I guess I'm still not really clear how I feel. Until recently I kind of felt ready to die. I don't know if that was just naive, or if things have changed since the Canada thing sort of gave me something to stick around for. Or maybe I still feel that way, underneath everything else. I'm not sure.
I was walking along the side of a road, cars racing just past me, thinking 'go on then'.
This post was supposed to get things off my chest and try to make it clear, what I was thinking.
I guess I managed the first bit.
Thanks.
Got my examination date today - next Thursday.
My parents found out too - turns out they're still going through my mail *fumes quietly*.
I knew they used to, picking off one bank statement every few months, then leaving it out for me when I came home - sort of 'we want to give it back to you without admitting we read them'.
But today was the first time I actually got opened letters directly from them - this time with the excuse 'I didn't read the name on the address and thought they were for me'. F***s sake.
Ah well, I'm off to drown myself out with fosters and 'game of death'.
Bruce Lee and alcohol. Is there nothing they can't do?
My parents found out too - turns out they're still going through my mail *fumes quietly*.
I knew they used to, picking off one bank statement every few months, then leaving it out for me when I came home - sort of 'we want to give it back to you without admitting we read them'.
But today was the first time I actually got opened letters directly from them - this time with the excuse 'I didn't read the name on the address and thought they were for me'. F***s sake.
Ah well, I'm off to drown myself out with fosters and 'game of death'.
Bruce Lee and alcohol. Is there nothing they can't do?
Well Duck you have my luck. Get your results before you go. If you are in the province of Alberta, then the health system will be useless. It's all going down the pan thanks to the corrupt Alberta governor. Hope you are okay anyways.
Thanks guys.
One thing that has been bugging me (on a less heavy note :^) ):
Good etiquette for getting examined - should you have a trim to tidy up, or does that look a bit too keen?
I went with a bit of a trim, figuring it'd be a bit less embarrassing if everything was neat...
I'm kind of worried about canada too though. I should be getting tested before I go, I'm not sure how they'll get the results to me though, if they get them after my flight.
And then there's the prospect of having to fly back if the worst does happen.
Then again that'd probably be the least of my worries then...
One thing that has been bugging me (on a less heavy note :^) ):
Good etiquette for getting examined - should you have a trim to tidy up, or does that look a bit too keen?
I went with a bit of a trim, figuring it'd be a bit less embarrassing if everything was neat...
I'm kind of worried about canada too though. I should be getting tested before I go, I'm not sure how they'll get the results to me though, if they get them after my flight.
And then there's the prospect of having to fly back if the worst does happen.
Then again that'd probably be the least of my worries then...
*throws a penny down the wishing well for the Duck*
The chances are that its not cancer, but there is always that chance.
Good luck Duck.
Good luck Duck.
there is probably nothing I can say to dissuade your fears, but at least know that you have my support during this difficult time.
how long do you have to wait for the results?
how long do you have to wait for the results?
..of sr user health scares.
After a month or so of telling myself it was nothing and hoping it would go away, I went to the doctor today about my lump.
The first doctor wasn't sure, got another to take a look, who seemed to rule out most of the less serious possibilities, but still wouldn't commit to an opinion.
Nobody mentioned the C word, which helped, but I'm being sent for more tests, we're trying to get it looked at before I go away for the year (great timing. Then again I suppose I should have got it seen to quicker).
So today was the first day I've not been able to pretend to myself that it was nothing. Feeling pretty scared, worried, stressed.
Today's my sister's birthday, we went for a meal, I sat there for a couple of hours like a sulking sullen teenager, ie) a bit of a nob. I've not told anyone about it though, bar some doctors and now a bunch of total strangers. Hell, I only admitted it to myself today.
I guess I'm still not really clear how I feel. Until recently I kind of felt ready to die. I don't know if that was just naive, or if things have changed since the Canada thing sort of gave me something to stick around for. Or maybe I still feel that way, underneath everything else. I'm not sure.
I was walking along the side of a road, cars racing just past me, thinking 'go on then'.
This post was supposed to get things off my chest and try to make it clear, what I was thinking.
I guess I managed the first bit.
Thanks.
After a month or so of telling myself it was nothing and hoping it would go away, I went to the doctor today about my lump.
The first doctor wasn't sure, got another to take a look, who seemed to rule out most of the less serious possibilities, but still wouldn't commit to an opinion.
Nobody mentioned the C word, which helped, but I'm being sent for more tests, we're trying to get it looked at before I go away for the year (great timing. Then again I suppose I should have got it seen to quicker).
So today was the first day I've not been able to pretend to myself that it was nothing. Feeling pretty scared, worried, stressed.
Today's my sister's birthday, we went for a meal, I sat there for a couple of hours like a sulking sullen teenager, ie) a bit of a nob. I've not told anyone about it though, bar some doctors and now a bunch of total strangers. Hell, I only admitted it to myself today.
I guess I'm still not really clear how I feel. Until recently I kind of felt ready to die. I don't know if that was just naive, or if things have changed since the Canada thing sort of gave me something to stick around for. Or maybe I still feel that way, underneath everything else. I'm not sure.
I was walking along the side of a road, cars racing just past me, thinking 'go on then'.
This post was supposed to get things off my chest and try to make it clear, what I was thinking.
I guess I managed the first bit.
Thanks.