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"I only have 37 years to live, apparently"

As many of you know, I am now a copper, pig, rozzer, what ever you wish to refer to me as. The other day, our trainers tried to truly depress us, and to some extent, it worked.

We have been told that an average police officer after retirement lives for about another 7 years. They have said this is due to, stress, irregular sleep patterns, diet, lack of exercise, excessive drinking and so on.

Well, since going away my diet has gone to pot. I eat what I am given, (usually rice with “brown”). I have done little to no exercise, (no time), I am really quite stressed, my sleeping is awful and I’m drinking more.

Ergo, my bacon is well and truly cooked.

If this does turn out to be true, I will have spent my whole career putting up with complete and utter idiots, for average pay. And then when the time actually comes for me to retire, with a good pension, I’m going to kark it pretty darn quick.

Yes, there was no real point to this post. Oh, but I have done my first proper policing duties. Saw an accident on the way home today and so stopped to help. Got home and some lovely person had parked across my driveway, so I had a word.

*Sigh*

Can I get non latex value condoms from Tesco's?

if only you did have the power rangers then there would be no crime

English_Bloke wrote:
> *Listens*
>
> It makes, a kind of tick-tocking noise...OH MY GOD! IT'S A BOMB!

So the person who said you have 37 years to live lied?

DW  wrote:
> But Power Rangers were cool. I bet you coppers don't get cool watches
> that make cool noises.

*Listens*

It makes, a kind of tick-tocking noise...OH MY GOD! IT'S A BOMB!

English_Bloke wrote:
> We don’t dress up like a bunch of TESCO value fluorescent condoms,
> therefore we command more respect…well, kind of.

You dress up as a bunch of Sainsbury's value condoms.

But Power Rangers were cool. I bet you coppers don't get cool watches that make cool noises.

Ill probably die at about 30, i do nothing.

ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> that 'body armour' didn't help the power rangers, what makes you think
> it'll help you lot?

We don’t dress up like a bunch of TESCO value fluorescent condoms, therefore we command more respect…well, kind of.

Goatboy wrote:
> Those extendable truncheons are cool though, they smash tops of wine
> bottles a treat at barbeques.

It is indeed a good multi-purpose tool.

I’m thinking of writing a book. 101 things to do with an extendable truncheon.

My rigid cuffs can also make quite an effective weapon.

that 'body armour' didn't help the power rangers, what makes you think it'll help you lot?

The sagacious one wrote:
> If you never retire does that make you immortal?

No, but apparently our “body amour” has made a few officers feel invincible when talking to the more violent members of the public. They usually end up getting a slap.