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A couple of months ago my Gran, 71, went into hospital with severe stomach pains. We have a family history of bowel cancer, but it still came as something of a shock when the doctors confirmed it to be.
She was in a bad state, and apparently when I saw her it was one of her 'good days.' I've never seen her like that before, and yet, she was still strong, and still wanted to ask me about my GCSEs, my holidays etc. It didn't feel right to talk about myself, but I wasn't sure how to react to be honest.
She had major operations twice, the second being emergency. I'm not sure of the details, something about a bag being put in to help the bowel because they had to take part of it out. The main concern though, was whether the cancer had spread to other parts of the body. A couple of weeks later we were told it hadn't, and although she would still need some treatment to rid the cancer completely from her bowel, she was well enough to go and stay in a special care home for a week or so.
I went to see her a few days ago. She looked much better and seemed quite enthusiastic about going to the cancer specialist to find out about her treatment...she was just looking forward to getting home. It was good to see her looking strong and well again, and as it always is with her, she took pleasure in sending me money for my 'wonderful' GCSE results.
She always sees the best in everything.
Got home from school yesterday to find my mum (the Gran I'm talking about is my mum's mum) sounding very distressed on the phone. Turns out my Gran went to the cancer specialist with her friend, and was told that she only had 6-8 months to live. Treatment would only make her condition worse. The cancer had spread.
I'm not that worried or angry that the doctors held this information back...I assume they didn't feel my Gran was well enough before to handle the news. It just seems...unfair, and maybe I need to get this off my chest.
She's only 71, and well...she's probably the kindest person I've ever met. We've never shared many long conversations about life or anything, and she's never given me advice about life, she's just so caring. She loved to see us, and even now she always has a chocolate bar or a bit of money waiting for us. My GCSE's definitely weren't amazing, and she's hardly what you'd call well off, but she still wanted to send me money.
My mum, aunt and uncle are the only ones who've visited her since the news. And apparently she is more worried about them than herself, and that's always the way. She loves her children and grand-children more than anything and as I've already said, she always saw the best in everyone...I'm not too sure what I'm getting at here...I'm just trying to describe the way I see her.
I've tried to keep positive because you never know...she could have longer than 8 months. But I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I see her next...what do I say? What the hell do I say to her? No doubt she'll ask about me again, because that's the sort of person she is...
What do I do over the next few months? I'll see her as much as I can, but I don't know if she'll deteriorate or not...I hate the idea of seeing her really weak again, because she doesn't deserve it. I still don't think it's her time yet, she has too many people who care for her, and there are too many people who still need her, like my uncle for example.
My mum's told me that one of the things that pains her the most is that she will never get to see her grand-children grow up. I'm her oldest, just 16, and the rest are all 12 or younger. Her only grand-daughter, my sister, is only 7.
I guess we have to stay positive as a family, but I worry for my mum too...she lost her real father as a girl, and her stepdad died a few years back from lung cancer.
This isn't a post saying how crap life is or anything...because at the moment, apart from this, I'm really not too bad. I guess I feel I owe my gran this, and I wanna talk about her anyway, because for well over half a century she has been a rock for so many people. I'm not sure how my uncle could have coped without her, and I'm gonna miss her a lot, because I've never met a more caring, kind and loving person.
She was in a bad state, and apparently when I saw her it was one of her 'good days.' I've never seen her like that before, and yet, she was still strong, and still wanted to ask me about my GCSEs, my holidays etc. It didn't feel right to talk about myself, but I wasn't sure how to react to be honest.
She had major operations twice, the second being emergency. I'm not sure of the details, something about a bag being put in to help the bowel because they had to take part of it out. The main concern though, was whether the cancer had spread to other parts of the body. A couple of weeks later we were told it hadn't, and although she would still need some treatment to rid the cancer completely from her bowel, she was well enough to go and stay in a special care home for a week or so.
I went to see her a few days ago. She looked much better and seemed quite enthusiastic about going to the cancer specialist to find out about her treatment...she was just looking forward to getting home. It was good to see her looking strong and well again, and as it always is with her, she took pleasure in sending me money for my 'wonderful' GCSE results.
She always sees the best in everything.
Got home from school yesterday to find my mum (the Gran I'm talking about is my mum's mum) sounding very distressed on the phone. Turns out my Gran went to the cancer specialist with her friend, and was told that she only had 6-8 months to live. Treatment would only make her condition worse. The cancer had spread.
I'm not that worried or angry that the doctors held this information back...I assume they didn't feel my Gran was well enough before to handle the news. It just seems...unfair, and maybe I need to get this off my chest.
She's only 71, and well...she's probably the kindest person I've ever met. We've never shared many long conversations about life or anything, and she's never given me advice about life, she's just so caring. She loved to see us, and even now she always has a chocolate bar or a bit of money waiting for us. My GCSE's definitely weren't amazing, and she's hardly what you'd call well off, but she still wanted to send me money.
My mum, aunt and uncle are the only ones who've visited her since the news. And apparently she is more worried about them than herself, and that's always the way. She loves her children and grand-children more than anything and as I've already said, she always saw the best in everyone...I'm not too sure what I'm getting at here...I'm just trying to describe the way I see her.
I've tried to keep positive because you never know...she could have longer than 8 months. But I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I see her next...what do I say? What the hell do I say to her? No doubt she'll ask about me again, because that's the sort of person she is...
What do I do over the next few months? I'll see her as much as I can, but I don't know if she'll deteriorate or not...I hate the idea of seeing her really weak again, because she doesn't deserve it. I still don't think it's her time yet, she has too many people who care for her, and there are too many people who still need her, like my uncle for example.
My mum's told me that one of the things that pains her the most is that she will never get to see her grand-children grow up. I'm her oldest, just 16, and the rest are all 12 or younger. Her only grand-daughter, my sister, is only 7.
I guess we have to stay positive as a family, but I worry for my mum too...she lost her real father as a girl, and her stepdad died a few years back from lung cancer.
This isn't a post saying how crap life is or anything...because at the moment, apart from this, I'm really not too bad. I guess I feel I owe my gran this, and I wanna talk about her anyway, because for well over half a century she has been a rock for so many people. I'm not sure how my uncle could have coped without her, and I'm gonna miss her a lot, because I've never met a more caring, kind and loving person.
My grandmother died of bowel cancer too. She was only 60. At least you do have some time left with her. Enjoy it whilst you can. Try make some memories that will last a lifetime. Take some video camera footage. Tape her speaking. I would love to have a tape of my grandmother, just to hear her voice again.
It will be hard on all of you. But there is nothing you can do about it. Life goes on. And you have your faith. Rev 21:3,4 will give you something to look forward to.
It will be hard on all of you. But there is nothing you can do about it. Life goes on. And you have your faith. Rev 21:3,4 will give you something to look forward to.
See her as much as you can as she'll really appricate(sp) it. Enjoy the time you have together and use it wisely.
I know roughly where you are coming from. I lost my Grandpa about two and a half years ago to a heart attack. On of the things that pains me most is never taking that last chance I had to see him. He came over to the house but I was out as I'd just broken a window the night before and didn't want to recive a lecture. Three days later he had a heart attck and died. I regret missing that last oppertunity and I'm not sure if its something I'll ever get over as we were really close.
I know roughly where you are coming from. I lost my Grandpa about two and a half years ago to a heart attack. On of the things that pains me most is never taking that last chance I had to see him. He came over to the house but I was out as I'd just broken a window the night before and didn't want to recive a lecture. Three days later he had a heart attck and died. I regret missing that last oppertunity and I'm not sure if its something I'll ever get over as we were really close.
I have images in my head of my grandad on my dad's side, and my mum's parents (she was adopted by them as a baby) but I wasn't told when they died, since I was yoo young.
I did know my gran, however. She died a few years ago, and wasn't herself towards the end. After she died, they discovered she had cancer as well. She was obviously suffering before her death, but it was still sad to see her go.
I'd grown up knowing her, but only saw her once a month at the most, and for the last few years, never saw her at all. Unlike most people, we live nowhere near any of our family, so trips are few and far between. I made sure I went to see her when she was in hospital, and I'm glad I did, she was pleased to see us all, but it was sad to see her the way she was.
I'm sure it was especially hard on my dad. His father died when I was young, as I mentioned, then his younger brother died of a heart attack about ten years ago. Then his mother died. He has literally dozens of cousins etc, but the only real family he has is us, his own family.
I did know my gran, however. She died a few years ago, and wasn't herself towards the end. After she died, they discovered she had cancer as well. She was obviously suffering before her death, but it was still sad to see her go.
I'd grown up knowing her, but only saw her once a month at the most, and for the last few years, never saw her at all. Unlike most people, we live nowhere near any of our family, so trips are few and far between. I made sure I went to see her when she was in hospital, and I'm glad I did, she was pleased to see us all, but it was sad to see her the way she was.
I'm sure it was especially hard on my dad. His father died when I was young, as I mentioned, then his younger brother died of a heart attack about ten years ago. Then his mother died. He has literally dozens of cousins etc, but the only real family he has is us, his own family.
Sorry to hear that Ant :-( talk to your gran like you always did and give her a hug
You do need to stay positive as a family, but don't bottle everything up, its good to talk and be open
It will be hard when she deteriorates but be strong and you'll get through it.Your gran sounds like a lovely lady and you'll always remember her that way.
You do need to stay positive as a family, but don't bottle everything up, its good to talk and be open
It will be hard when she deteriorates but be strong and you'll get through it.Your gran sounds like a lovely lady and you'll always remember her that way.
Likewise I can't really say I know how you feel - all my grandparents had passed away by the time I was six. If I *was* in your situation I'd try to act as normal as possible but obviously not act as if nothing was happening. It's bound to be hard at first but, with help from others, I'm sure you can cope.
Sorry if that sounds all jumbled and insensetive but my head's in a mess at the moment!
Sorry if that sounds all jumbled and insensetive but my head's in a mess at the moment!
I can't really say I know what it feels like but hang in there Ant. Any time you want to talk about stuff, you know where to find me. I'm here for you.
It was the same with my grandad that died last year. All I can say is take the time you have with her and use it wisely. Listen to her and share her history and be with her now. However bad it gets, always remember the good things. You will anyway, I know.
Good luck with things, Ant, and keep it together. Not much else I can say other than I do understand.
Good luck with things, Ant, and keep it together. Not much else I can say other than I do understand.
A couple of months ago my Gran, 71, went into hospital with severe stomach pains. We have a family history of bowel cancer, but it still came as something of a shock when the doctors confirmed it to be.
She was in a bad state, and apparently when I saw her it was one of her 'good days.' I've never seen her like that before, and yet, she was still strong, and still wanted to ask me about my GCSEs, my holidays etc. It didn't feel right to talk about myself, but I wasn't sure how to react to be honest.
She had major operations twice, the second being emergency. I'm not sure of the details, something about a bag being put in to help the bowel because they had to take part of it out. The main concern though, was whether the cancer had spread to other parts of the body. A couple of weeks later we were told it hadn't, and although she would still need some treatment to rid the cancer completely from her bowel, she was well enough to go and stay in a special care home for a week or so.
I went to see her a few days ago. She looked much better and seemed quite enthusiastic about going to the cancer specialist to find out about her treatment...she was just looking forward to getting home. It was good to see her looking strong and well again, and as it always is with her, she took pleasure in sending me money for my 'wonderful' GCSE results.
She always sees the best in everything.
Got home from school yesterday to find my mum (the Gran I'm talking about is my mum's mum) sounding very distressed on the phone. Turns out my Gran went to the cancer specialist with her friend, and was told that she only had 6-8 months to live. Treatment would only make her condition worse. The cancer had spread.
I'm not that worried or angry that the doctors held this information back...I assume they didn't feel my Gran was well enough before to handle the news. It just seems...unfair, and maybe I need to get this off my chest.
She's only 71, and well...she's probably the kindest person I've ever met. We've never shared many long conversations about life or anything, and she's never given me advice about life, she's just so caring. She loved to see us, and even now she always has a chocolate bar or a bit of money waiting for us. My GCSE's definitely weren't amazing, and she's hardly what you'd call well off, but she still wanted to send me money.
My mum, aunt and uncle are the only ones who've visited her since the news. And apparently she is more worried about them than herself, and that's always the way. She loves her children and grand-children more than anything and as I've already said, she always saw the best in everyone...I'm not too sure what I'm getting at here...I'm just trying to describe the way I see her.
I've tried to keep positive because you never know...she could have longer than 8 months. But I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I see her next...what do I say? What the hell do I say to her? No doubt she'll ask about me again, because that's the sort of person she is...
What do I do over the next few months? I'll see her as much as I can, but I don't know if she'll deteriorate or not...I hate the idea of seeing her really weak again, because she doesn't deserve it. I still don't think it's her time yet, she has too many people who care for her, and there are too many people who still need her, like my uncle for example.
My mum's told me that one of the things that pains her the most is that she will never get to see her grand-children grow up. I'm her oldest, just 16, and the rest are all 12 or younger. Her only grand-daughter, my sister, is only 7.
I guess we have to stay positive as a family, but I worry for my mum too...she lost her real father as a girl, and her stepdad died a few years back from lung cancer.
This isn't a post saying how crap life is or anything...because at the moment, apart from this, I'm really not too bad. I guess I feel I owe my gran this, and I wanna talk about her anyway, because for well over half a century she has been a rock for so many people. I'm not sure how my uncle could have coped without her, and I'm gonna miss her a lot, because I've never met a more caring, kind and loving person.
She was in a bad state, and apparently when I saw her it was one of her 'good days.' I've never seen her like that before, and yet, she was still strong, and still wanted to ask me about my GCSEs, my holidays etc. It didn't feel right to talk about myself, but I wasn't sure how to react to be honest.
She had major operations twice, the second being emergency. I'm not sure of the details, something about a bag being put in to help the bowel because they had to take part of it out. The main concern though, was whether the cancer had spread to other parts of the body. A couple of weeks later we were told it hadn't, and although she would still need some treatment to rid the cancer completely from her bowel, she was well enough to go and stay in a special care home for a week or so.
I went to see her a few days ago. She looked much better and seemed quite enthusiastic about going to the cancer specialist to find out about her treatment...she was just looking forward to getting home. It was good to see her looking strong and well again, and as it always is with her, she took pleasure in sending me money for my 'wonderful' GCSE results.
She always sees the best in everything.
Got home from school yesterday to find my mum (the Gran I'm talking about is my mum's mum) sounding very distressed on the phone. Turns out my Gran went to the cancer specialist with her friend, and was told that she only had 6-8 months to live. Treatment would only make her condition worse. The cancer had spread.
I'm not that worried or angry that the doctors held this information back...I assume they didn't feel my Gran was well enough before to handle the news. It just seems...unfair, and maybe I need to get this off my chest.
She's only 71, and well...she's probably the kindest person I've ever met. We've never shared many long conversations about life or anything, and she's never given me advice about life, she's just so caring. She loved to see us, and even now she always has a chocolate bar or a bit of money waiting for us. My GCSE's definitely weren't amazing, and she's hardly what you'd call well off, but she still wanted to send me money.
My mum, aunt and uncle are the only ones who've visited her since the news. And apparently she is more worried about them than herself, and that's always the way. She loves her children and grand-children more than anything and as I've already said, she always saw the best in everyone...I'm not too sure what I'm getting at here...I'm just trying to describe the way I see her.
I've tried to keep positive because you never know...she could have longer than 8 months. But I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I see her next...what do I say? What the hell do I say to her? No doubt she'll ask about me again, because that's the sort of person she is...
What do I do over the next few months? I'll see her as much as I can, but I don't know if she'll deteriorate or not...I hate the idea of seeing her really weak again, because she doesn't deserve it. I still don't think it's her time yet, she has too many people who care for her, and there are too many people who still need her, like my uncle for example.
My mum's told me that one of the things that pains her the most is that she will never get to see her grand-children grow up. I'm her oldest, just 16, and the rest are all 12 or younger. Her only grand-daughter, my sister, is only 7.
I guess we have to stay positive as a family, but I worry for my mum too...she lost her real father as a girl, and her stepdad died a few years back from lung cancer.
This isn't a post saying how crap life is or anything...because at the moment, apart from this, I'm really not too bad. I guess I feel I owe my gran this, and I wanna talk about her anyway, because for well over half a century she has been a rock for so many people. I'm not sure how my uncle could have coped without her, and I'm gonna miss her a lot, because I've never met a more caring, kind and loving person.