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“If people wait in line for hours, just in order to see me play, does that mean they have formed a snooker queue?”
Slim Davis
Walton Towers, the theme park and home of John Boy and the others (who all say goodnight and stuff), have unveiled the latest ride that takes participants to the extreme! The Q-inator 2000 is a state of the art, modern, fancy dan, up to date, queue simulator that can hold up to 200 people in line for hours at a time.
The simulator is so accurate it can recreate any type of queue one can think of, and many more that you can’t think of but they assure the public that if they could think of it they could do it but as they can’t they won’t but could if they wanted too. It’s that good. The most popular configuration for the ride is the ridiculously long wait to get into the club whilst needed a whiz, which is so accurate several people's bladders have actually burst whilst waiting for the opportunity to allow their urine stream to flow into the white, pristine porcelain urinals as they groan is utter relief, shuddering delightfully in the purity of the moment.
In order to ensure that this lament configuration is as accurate as possible, and to comply with strict Euro legislation and unheard of Peruvian laws, the staff for Qinator 2000 (mainly young offenders and ex Butlins staff) provide strong caffeine-based drinks to people before they ride the Q, then they randomly allow people to push in, especially if they are attractive women, whilst ensuring that random attacks by bouncers occur, to ensure that everyone is kept on their toes (which is required under the Lima Act 1678). Anyone wearing trainers is shot through the neck with a crossbow.
Other queues simulate; waiting for the stupid person at a supermarket till to pay the lady with loose change only to find that they are10p short and thus end up paying by cheque; standing in line as someone spends five hours doing their banking at the cashpoint, often using more than one card; and the classic dinner queue where that fat kid barters with the dinner lady for an extra fish finger offering 3 conkers, a broken ruler, and his rough book resplendent in scribble art for the fishy finger like feast.
However due to the popularity of the ride people are advised that there may be long queues and they should turn up early in order to avoid them. As one patron chided “it’s a great ride but I’m f**ked if I’m waiting in a queue for hours to get on the damn thing!”.
Slim Davis
Walton Towers, the theme park and home of John Boy and the others (who all say goodnight and stuff), have unveiled the latest ride that takes participants to the extreme! The Q-inator 2000 is a state of the art, modern, fancy dan, up to date, queue simulator that can hold up to 200 people in line for hours at a time.
The simulator is so accurate it can recreate any type of queue one can think of, and many more that you can’t think of but they assure the public that if they could think of it they could do it but as they can’t they won’t but could if they wanted too. It’s that good. The most popular configuration for the ride is the ridiculously long wait to get into the club whilst needed a whiz, which is so accurate several people's bladders have actually burst whilst waiting for the opportunity to allow their urine stream to flow into the white, pristine porcelain urinals as they groan is utter relief, shuddering delightfully in the purity of the moment.
In order to ensure that this lament configuration is as accurate as possible, and to comply with strict Euro legislation and unheard of Peruvian laws, the staff for Qinator 2000 (mainly young offenders and ex Butlins staff) provide strong caffeine-based drinks to people before they ride the Q, then they randomly allow people to push in, especially if they are attractive women, whilst ensuring that random attacks by bouncers occur, to ensure that everyone is kept on their toes (which is required under the Lima Act 1678). Anyone wearing trainers is shot through the neck with a crossbow.
Other queues simulate; waiting for the stupid person at a supermarket till to pay the lady with loose change only to find that they are10p short and thus end up paying by cheque; standing in line as someone spends five hours doing their banking at the cashpoint, often using more than one card; and the classic dinner queue where that fat kid barters with the dinner lady for an extra fish finger offering 3 conkers, a broken ruler, and his rough book resplendent in scribble art for the fishy finger like feast.
However due to the popularity of the ride people are advised that there may be long queues and they should turn up early in order to avoid them. As one patron chided “it’s a great ride but I’m f**ked if I’m waiting in a queue for hours to get on the damn thing!”.
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y do ppl care about rides 1 opens every year and the made 1s get better and better wots new?
The Krakatoa, new ride at Molten Towers. It's excellent. You get torched and have to run to the safety point on fire before they can put you out. There's a sign with Linford Christie at the entrance, saying "You have to run as fast as me before you can go on this ride". However it's not unfair as small wheeled devices such as skateboards are provided for the elderly.
True story.
True story.
le sagacious trumped. Therefore he iz le stinking winnar.
Saggy am the winnar.
the sagacious won
I don't
I laugh
J Nash wrote:
> Sagacious one.
> This is genius.
Cheers matey. I aim to please.
> Sagacious one.
> This is genius.
Cheers matey. I aim to please.
Sagacious one.
This is genius.
This is genius.
The sagacious one wrote:
> queue simulator that can hold
> up to 200 people in line for hours at a time.
Sounds oh so familiar, think I must have been in the test run for this.
> queue simulator that can hold
> up to 200 people in line for hours at a time.
Sounds oh so familiar, think I must have been in the test run for this.
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