Viewing Thread:
"Pirates of the Carri-cari-carribe-Whatever."

Hmmm, this be a tough one to judge, me heardie. On one hand you have the quite credible performances of Johnny Depp and that crip from Shine, but on the other you have bad, bad, bad appearances of Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly. There's just something about Orlando Bloom that I don't like. He didn't look right in LOTR, and he doesn't look right in this one. Don't care how good an actor he is, there's just something I can't quite put my finger on.

The skeletons were wicked though. All underwater and boney. Shame about the crap, cliched set-piece after set-piece that they spent almost the entire film throwing at any increasingly waning audience. Mental note to Gore Videl-Sasoon - jokes are funny once, but trying to repeat them again and again at various stages doesn't work. In fact it does the opposite and upsets the pace of the film. That bad gag in that advert about "Try wearing a corset" - that comes right at the end, upsetting quite a nice build-up to the climax.

But despite a few setbacks, the film came out just about average. It could have gone either way - especially Johnny Depp's accent - it leaves a bad taste in your ears. It seemed like there was too much emphasis on comic-relief and not enough on proper, well thought out action scenes and plot. Although the plot does work well enough for the type of film.

All-in-all, it seemed like every line was delivered for the purpose of putting in an advert for the DVD. That's not how I like to see my films.

And can anyone explain to me how Captain Jack Sparrow managed to slide down that rope near the beginning - his hands were in chains, it's impossible!?

Blank wrote:
> Maybe they thought the anger of having your stapler set in a jelly
> would be the perfect motivation.

--

I reckon they knew the perfect way to make Barbossa even more evil was to have Gareth use his erection doll.

"Set sail, me swashbucking hearties."
"...Ooooh yeaaaah!"

monkey_man wrote:
> There's just something about Orlando Bloom
> that I don't like. He didn't look right in LOTR, and he doesn't look
> right in this one. Don't care how good an actor he is, there's just
> something I can't quite put my finger on.

Not sure about being a good actor - that part where he was stood on the side of the ship with the gun to his throat was real tripe but he is much cuter without the blonde wig.

Depp puts his hands together, flips the chain over the rope then grabs the 'end' (which is actually the middle). Even if you missed the detail the chain is quite long and his hands are close to the rope when he's sliding - did the chain shrink or is it just doubled over?

Maybe they thought the anger of having your stapler set in a jelly would be the perfect motivation.

The skeletons would be sorted, they could always detach an arm as needed.

On another note, how did they decide to get Mackensie Crook as a pirate?

"I need a creepy skeleton zombie murdering pirate with a wooden eye."
"How about Gareth from The Office?"
"..Genius!"

Besides, do any of us really know the ins and outs of rope placement on masts during the pirate era? Who's to say there wasn't a way to get his hands over it? Eh?

The underwater skeletons didn't try to slide down a rope with handcuffs on, did they?

Well, the underwater zombie skeletons are perfectly plausible, so no debate needed there, whereas the rope thing is a bloody marvel, so we need to get a think tank together.

You brought him up.


...perhaps that could have been phrased better.

I like the way you debate over how feasible it is for someone to slide down a rope wearing handcuffs, in a film about underwater zombie skeletons.