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(Episode 1 - http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/ display_messages.php? threadid=77397&forumid=416
(Episode 2 -http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/ display_messages.php? threadid=77479&forumid=416
SR - The Soap Opera
Episode 3
***Scene 1 : A wedding***
Memo and NASH stand expectantly at the alter continuing the (now quite scary) love affair gone-too-far. The Rev. Snuggly stands in front of them and any SR members wanting inclusion sit looking expectedly stupid in the congregation.
Rev. Snuggly began “Deftly beleaguered, we am gravelled here too-gay t--”
“STOP!” Comes the traditional shout from the back of the church. In rushes Microchips. Everyone sighs, at least one wedding without an interruption would have been nice.
“YOU CAN’T MARRY THEM!” He bellows at the Rev. Snuggly.
“Why not? They paid me.” He bites his lip, “Not how I’m usually paid, mind, but it was an experience I’ll never forget.” He winks at Nash.
Microchips’s mouth dropped open, “WHERE SHOULD I START! Oh, sorry, I’ve done the shouty bit ... Well, to get us going - they’re both men, I think. They’re both wanted on several planets for crimes of a disturbing nature. They’re running an illegal animal secks shop from a burnt-out stolen dumpster. I’m sure Memo was technically two people a few years back. They’re always spouting crap without a license. (Nash luvs men.) They’ve both been married before to household cleaning products. They carry rocks around in their thongs. They sell time shares to mutated children. They sell mutated children. They --”
Snuggs cleared his throat. “Who hasn’t? Come on - live a little.”
“ -Wha ... ? AND ...!” He shouted, looking triumphant, and pointing up at the banner hung over the alter. “AND Spider-man isn’t written like that. Duuhhhh.” Memo started crying - the wedding banner had taken him weeks to finish.
“Did you know you’ve got a pole up your azz?” Chipseh ventured, edging out the door.
“Oh yeah...” Snuggs pulled a 5-foot-long piece of copper piping, about 3 inches across, from his nether-regions and wiped it on his cassock. “Ah! I thought it was heartburn.”
“Er ... Mr Reverend, sir?” Squealed Nash in his (her) dog-attracting voice. “Can we be married now? I wanna get laid.”
Snuggs, staring lovingly at the pipe, blinks out of his trance. “Yeah yeah, o’ course. I now pronounce you ... er .... well .... hmmm... man?”
“Yup.”
“Oh good. Man and ... hmm ... another man?”
“Nup”
“Wife?”
“Nup”
“Hmm ... thing? Person? Shark? Log?”
“Loris.”
“Why, of course. Man and Loris. Off you go, now, I’ve a sexual liaison to attend to - Mothers and Toddles group, don’t you see?”
“Naturally”
***Scene 2 : The Reception***
Most of the presents were moving, some meowing, a lot vibrating and a small group had detached themselves for a quick fag and a fight.
“I wonder what this one is!” Squealed Nash, shaking a package wrapped with urine-soaked newspaper. It quacked and lifted a few feet off the ground.
“Well ... “ Memo mused, “They certainly know our tastes, eh?” He glanced along the table laid with food, so did most of the guests - with slightly less enthusiasm. They had decided that eating anything from the buffet was probably more of a life-choice than a meal - obscure diseases and regular hospital visits seemed to project themselves from the lumps and balls of black, green or purple dribbling squishy stuff that breathed gently.
“WHY’S NOBODY EATIN!?” Screamed Nash. The guests edged towards the food, some dialling for ambulances beforehand, others heavily arming themselves for any sudden movements from the desserts but most digging trenches and calling in air-strikes.
The tent-flap was thrust back as aggressively as a damp, half-rotten sheet of cardboard could be. In struts gerrid and AJ, looking as suggestively gay as possible.
They strutted (tripping over occasionally) towards the happy couple, gerrid holding up his badge. “AJ and little g - Private Detectives. Mrs NASH - a few questions for you.”
Memo surveys gerrid’s badge - a little plastic shield - with a puzzled expression. “What’s that say? “SPACE JAM?” What kind of detectives are you?”
Gerrid looks a little stupid, which is too be expected. “All right. The real badges are at the shop, we haven’t bought them yet. But I got this out of my cereal a few years back - it’s so cool!.” He gazes lovingly at the badge, “Ahh. What a film.... Hey! HEY! AJ - WHAT’RE DOING!?”
“Muah? Muh yu syh hre mruhrat mrinvum-rerem-mers.”
“Whut?”
AJ pulls his head out from Nash’s open flies. “What? But you said we were private investigators. I haven’t found anything yet - except some gum.”
“Not like tHat, fool.” Little g raises an eyebrows at Memo. “Although ...”
Memo blushes, “Oh, I don’t mind - dive in. Mind the bear-trap.”
*2 hours later*
“Whew! Yeah baby! w00t!” The group lie exhausted in Memo’s dumpster, smoking the mould.
“Didn’t you have some questions, pookie?” Nash asks gerrid.
“Oh, of course didums. It’s just about the strange disappearances of IB and Tony - we got a confession from El Blokey, but it seems he’s just got a thang for police brutality. Reminds him of his mother or something. You two sweet-cheeks know anything?”
gerrid rolls over to face the pair, but they’re gone except for the faint smell of cat and two puffs of cloud.
“Come on AJ! There’s a chase on!”
“Just a minute! I’m taking a leak!”
“Ooh - yummy!”
***END***
(Episode 2 -http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/ display_messages.php? threadid=77479&forumid=416
SR - The Soap Opera
Episode 3
***Scene 1 : A wedding***
Memo and NASH stand expectantly at the alter continuing the (now quite scary) love affair gone-too-far. The Rev. Snuggly stands in front of them and any SR members wanting inclusion sit looking expectedly stupid in the congregation.
Rev. Snuggly began “Deftly beleaguered, we am gravelled here too-gay t--”
“STOP!” Comes the traditional shout from the back of the church. In rushes Microchips. Everyone sighs, at least one wedding without an interruption would have been nice.
“YOU CAN’T MARRY THEM!” He bellows at the Rev. Snuggly.
“Why not? They paid me.” He bites his lip, “Not how I’m usually paid, mind, but it was an experience I’ll never forget.” He winks at Nash.
Microchips’s mouth dropped open, “WHERE SHOULD I START! Oh, sorry, I’ve done the shouty bit ... Well, to get us going - they’re both men, I think. They’re both wanted on several planets for crimes of a disturbing nature. They’re running an illegal animal secks shop from a burnt-out stolen dumpster. I’m sure Memo was technically two people a few years back. They’re always spouting crap without a license. (Nash luvs men.) They’ve both been married before to household cleaning products. They carry rocks around in their thongs. They sell time shares to mutated children. They sell mutated children. They --”
Snuggs cleared his throat. “Who hasn’t? Come on - live a little.”
“ -Wha ... ? AND ...!” He shouted, looking triumphant, and pointing up at the banner hung over the alter. “AND Spider-man isn’t written like that. Duuhhhh.” Memo started crying - the wedding banner had taken him weeks to finish.
“Did you know you’ve got a pole up your azz?” Chipseh ventured, edging out the door.
“Oh yeah...” Snuggs pulled a 5-foot-long piece of copper piping, about 3 inches across, from his nether-regions and wiped it on his cassock. “Ah! I thought it was heartburn.”
“Er ... Mr Reverend, sir?” Squealed Nash in his (her) dog-attracting voice. “Can we be married now? I wanna get laid.”
Snuggs, staring lovingly at the pipe, blinks out of his trance. “Yeah yeah, o’ course. I now pronounce you ... er .... well .... hmmm... man?”
“Yup.”
“Oh good. Man and ... hmm ... another man?”
“Nup”
“Wife?”
“Nup”
“Hmm ... thing? Person? Shark? Log?”
“Loris.”
“Why, of course. Man and Loris. Off you go, now, I’ve a sexual liaison to attend to - Mothers and Toddles group, don’t you see?”
“Naturally”
***Scene 2 : The Reception***
Most of the presents were moving, some meowing, a lot vibrating and a small group had detached themselves for a quick fag and a fight.
“I wonder what this one is!” Squealed Nash, shaking a package wrapped with urine-soaked newspaper. It quacked and lifted a few feet off the ground.
“Well ... “ Memo mused, “They certainly know our tastes, eh?” He glanced along the table laid with food, so did most of the guests - with slightly less enthusiasm. They had decided that eating anything from the buffet was probably more of a life-choice than a meal - obscure diseases and regular hospital visits seemed to project themselves from the lumps and balls of black, green or purple dribbling squishy stuff that breathed gently.
“WHY’S NOBODY EATIN!?” Screamed Nash. The guests edged towards the food, some dialling for ambulances beforehand, others heavily arming themselves for any sudden movements from the desserts but most digging trenches and calling in air-strikes.
The tent-flap was thrust back as aggressively as a damp, half-rotten sheet of cardboard could be. In struts gerrid and AJ, looking as suggestively gay as possible.
They strutted (tripping over occasionally) towards the happy couple, gerrid holding up his badge. “AJ and little g - Private Detectives. Mrs NASH - a few questions for you.”
Memo surveys gerrid’s badge - a little plastic shield - with a puzzled expression. “What’s that say? “SPACE JAM?” What kind of detectives are you?”
Gerrid looks a little stupid, which is too be expected. “All right. The real badges are at the shop, we haven’t bought them yet. But I got this out of my cereal a few years back - it’s so cool!.” He gazes lovingly at the badge, “Ahh. What a film.... Hey! HEY! AJ - WHAT’RE DOING!?”
“Muah? Muh yu syh hre mruhrat mrinvum-rerem-mers.”
“Whut?”
AJ pulls his head out from Nash’s open flies. “What? But you said we were private investigators. I haven’t found anything yet - except some gum.”
“Not like tHat, fool.” Little g raises an eyebrows at Memo. “Although ...”
Memo blushes, “Oh, I don’t mind - dive in. Mind the bear-trap.”
*2 hours later*
“Whew! Yeah baby! w00t!” The group lie exhausted in Memo’s dumpster, smoking the mould.
“Didn’t you have some questions, pookie?” Nash asks gerrid.
“Oh, of course didums. It’s just about the strange disappearances of IB and Tony - we got a confession from El Blokey, but it seems he’s just got a thang for police brutality. Reminds him of his mother or something. You two sweet-cheeks know anything?”
gerrid rolls over to face the pair, but they’re gone except for the faint smell of cat and two puffs of cloud.
“Come on AJ! There’s a chase on!”
“Just a minute! I’m taking a leak!”
“Ooh - yummy!”
***END***
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Hahaha.
Plus, I was the only non-gay.
Yey?
Plus, I was the only non-gay.
Yey?
It's Spider-Man actually.
It had the correct spelling of 'Spider-man' in.
I didn't read it. But I'm sure it was very good.
Im shocked to not see me mentioned in this 'soap'
Common, im chad, you got to put me in the next.
Common, im chad, you got to put me in the next.
Ahahahah.
Ooh, gays.
Ooh, not Harry Potter slash.
Ooh, gays.
Ooh, not Harry Potter slash.
Ooh, gays.
Azul wrote:
> Heh, that was good, in a freaky, gay masquerading way.
What other way is there?
Hoorah!
> Heh, that was good, in a freaky, gay masquerading way.
What other way is there?
Hoorah!
Heh, that was good, in a freaky, gay masquerading way.
Shhh they are secret.
Secret love stories for me and Nash only.
Secret love stories for me and Nash only.
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