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"When Insects Attack"

For many years me and wasps have had an understanding - they don't sting me, I don't squash them.
And it's worked fine. Before today I couldn't remember the last time a bee or wasp had gone for a piece of me.
But today I was to discover the horrors that befall all those without such protection...

When Insects Attack!


It was a hot, sunny day, and I was mowing the lawn. It hadn't been done for a while, the grass was long and the grass bag needed emptying frequently. On a couple of occasions I noticed a large insect buzzing around the compost heap. Although he looked a little shifty, I remembered my deal with mother nature and didn't worry.

Finally I finished the lawn, and with thoughts turning to the chimes of a distant ice cream van, I went to empty the bag one last time.

If only I'd known my fate, perhaps I would have been lass callous to the risks of...

When Insects Attack!

I didn't get a good look at the perpetrator, but it wasn't a bee or wasp, probably a hornet - a vicious hurt machine and career criminal of the insect world.
Whoever he was, his flight was swift, his aim sure and his sting deadly, and as he rushed for my forearm, he administered his assault without mercy.


How naive I was, to believe I could make a deal with the devil.
The lump's gone down now, but there's a huge red patch around where it stung me and a permanant reminder burned into my consciousness that will never let me forget the horrors of...

When Insects Attack!

I'm Greg Evigan

mozzies and wasps have no place on earth. they are pure evil with no ggodness and no use to anyone but them.

The best way to deter these beasts is simple.

Strip down to your underwear, coat yourself in a thin layer of marmalade and continue on your activities. The sheer sight of your semi naked flesh will make any insect quiver.

I advise you to never endorse anything I say.

Goatboy wrote:
> I find fleeing at terrific speed, windmilling your arms and emitting a
> high pitched "Eeeeeeeeeeee!" allows you to escape unprovoked
> aerial assaults from these sky-bullets.

You manly man you.

lalakersrule wrote:
> I hate the little things but my friends seem to find it hilarious
> seeing a 6'4 guy legging it halfway down the road to get away from the
> little cretins.

True. I guess they do perform a useful function after all...

I hate the little things but my friends seem to find it hilarious seeing a 6'4 guy legging it halfway down the road to get away from the little cretins. Death to all wasps/hornets/bees

Ineedsleep wrote:
> Goatboy wrote:
> I find fleeing at terrific speed, windmilling your arms and emitting
> a
> high pitched "Eeeeeeeeeeee!" allows you to escape
> unprovoked
> aerial assaults from these sky-bullets.
>
> Okay - which girlie has hacked into Goatboys account?

Actually that made me think of Mini-Me when he goes down the air conditioning vent in AP3.

I always found that batting a wasp (that was flying at you) with the back of your hand gave it a clear message to go and they always did...

Unbeliever wrote:

> Why do wasps exist? Any ideas?

To fight bumble bees. When I was young we called Wasps: Jaspers, so there.

I read somewhere that wasps and bees are attracted to people's breath due to there being some kind of chemical in it.

So I held my breath whenever I was accosted by them and it seemed to have worked - they lose interest and fly off.

I hate wasps - they serve no purpose in the food chain and sometimes I wonder why they actually exist.

Why do wasps exist? Any ideas?

Goatboy wrote:
> I find fleeing at terrific speed, windmilling your arms and emitting a
> high pitched "Eeeeeeeeeeee!" allows you to escape unprovoked
> aerial assaults from these sky-bullets.

Okay - which girlie has hacked into Goatboys account?