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Euro-continental Time limit title - anything goes:
Triple H (Ant) Vs Chris Jericho (Figo) Vs Sean O'Haire (Lipe) Vs Rhyno (Random Hero) Vs Edge (RM18) Vs Eddie Guerrero (Cong Man) Vs Crash (Grandprix) Vs Kane (Starlight) Vs Goldust (AfroJoe)
Written by LL Cool T
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. SRW Free Fall is coming to you live, courtesy of SpecialReserve.TV, and up next we have what promises to be one of the most insane, desperate, madcap struggles we’re ever likely to see in this federation. 9 competitors, one title… but what’s the time limit? Reaver(Ant) has told us that he specifically waited until tonight to tell us the time limit, and we only presume that he’s going to come out now and tell us…
*Arena flooded with gold light*
Apparently not, ladies and gentlemen! Because, for all our viewing pleasure, here comes the first contender for this highly-valued prize, the Euro-Continental Title – Goldust(AfroJoe)! Admittedly not the favourite for the belt, what with some main-event wrestlers in this match, but I’ve been getting opinion in the back, and this guy is considered to be quite the dark horse. The Shattered Dreams, Director’s Cut and Curtain Call could easily see the belt go his way. He’s entering the ring, removing the wig and parading himself to the crowd: it’s an impressive following he’s got there in the crowd tonight! The arena’s been returned to usual colour, as Goldust awaits the next wrestler.
*You think you know me!*
Edge(RM18) is here, ladies and gentlemen! The arena’s descended into a melee of darkness and spotlights, the crowd’s loving it, but Edge… he’s nowhere to be seen! Wait! He’s been found by one of the spotlights, battling his way through his legions of followers, returning to this old entrance gimmick of 1999 fame. He’s somehow managed to get through the screeching masses, and has leapt heroically over the guard barrier, making his way into the ring. Sensibly avoiding any sort of altercation with Goldust(AJ), Edge stands atop the turnbuckle for his adoring fans! I can barely hear myself! SRW said let there be light, and there was as the lights come back on, and we wait for the next combatant.
*Crash’s music hits*
Crash(Grandprix) is sprinting for his life towards the ring, a face full of fear! He’s slid into the ring, where he’s been caught by Edge(RM18) and Goldust(AJ), but I’d imagine that that’s the least of his problems – who the Hell was he running from? Wait a second, it’s Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Swiftly followed by O'Haire(Lipe)! They’re both bleeding from the forehead, and not moving well at all, it seems! This is havoc – double flapjack on Crash in the ring! Who’s responsible for all this carnage?
*Explosion!*
I should have known – it’s Kane(Starlight)! The Big Red Machine has been busting these people up worse than Iraqi civilians in a US air-raid! Kane is running to the ring, clearly a man on a mission, taking out both O'Haire(Lipe) and Guerrero(Cong Man) on the way! He’s in the ring now, Goldust(AJ) goes up, gets knocked down! Edge(RM18) – ditto! Crash(Grandprix), still recovering from that crushing double flapjack, is down, facing the lights! Kane, however, is showing no mercy tonight – he’s got Crash by the throat on the canvas! Wow! He’s lifting Crash up in a single movement, right above his head! Kane’s got Crash Holly, and he’s edging towards the ropes with him… CHOKESLAM TO THE CONCRETE! Good night New Orleans! We won’t be seeing too much from Crash in this match from now on, I’ll wager!
Kane(Starlight) would do well to take note of what’s going on outside – Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) and Sean O'Haire(Lipe) are talking amongst themselves, while Kane picks up Goldust(AJ) in a press slam – and drops him on his face! Guerrero and O'Haire are conspiring with each other, and now charge the ring! Kane(Starlight) turns around, but it’s surely too late- hey! O'Haire and Guerrero are attacking each other! Their double-crossing natures have got the best of them, but Kane’s already had enough of this, and clotheslines the both of them!
*Small explosion*
Screw the countdown, says Y2J! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, the Living Legend, the Highlight of the Night, Chris Jericho(Figo) himself has entered into this madness!
*Screeching electric guitar*
That’s Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno has arrived on the scene, and immediately GORES Y2J IN THE BACK! Jericho is down! Unbelievable entrance by the last ever ECW Heavyweight and TV Champion! If you ask me, this guy is owed a title, and he’s where my money went (don’t tell the wife)! That means, if my arithmetic is correct, and it probably isn’t, we’re waiting just one last person, The Game, Triple H(Ant)!But so far, we’ve seen no sign of him – chicken, you say? Hang on there, here’s the commish! Reaver(Ant) is just standing at the top of the ramp, mic in hand, no doubt waiting to tell us all what the time limit for the orchestrated mayhem is!
Reaver: Well, well… looks like our Euro-Continental match is off to a good start, doesn’t it? Good to see, good to see… OK, I’m betting that you’re all salivating over this piece of news I’m about to give you. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all yadda yadda yadda… I have, in this envelope, the time limit that has been set for this match!
*Crowd cheers*
Reaver: OK… The official time limit for this Euro-Continental Title match-up is… 37 minutes, 28 seconds!
*Crowd cheers in confusion*
Well, you can’t accuse our Commish of being unoriginal! 37:25 has been put up on the timer…
DING! DING! DING!
And the match has begun… without Triple H(Ant)?! Obviously! Kane(Starlight) punches Jericho(Figo) square in the mouth! Y2J has been felled early on by a knockout punch from Kane! O'Haire(Lipe) comes up from behind and clubs Kane on the back on the head, as everyone else in the match has retired to outside the ring, plundering the underside of the ring for it’s fatal booty! Kane has picked Jericho up, and whipped him into the ropes – Big Boot! And how! Kane covers Jericho:
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2 – Broken up by a crutch to the head from Goldust(AJ)! Kane(Starlight) grasps his head in pain, but is quickly on his feet and chasing after the Bizarre One! Goldust legs it out of the ring, with Kane in hot pursuit – stopped by a frying pan forehand by Sean O'Haire(Lipe)! Kane is down, and being roundly assaulted by every other combatant in the match (except for poor old Crash, of course)! Even the crowd at ringside are throwing beer cups and other such paraphenalia onto Kane! With fans like those, who needs Triple H? Speaking of which, where is this guy? I thought he was meant to be in this match too!
Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) spins O'Haire(Lipe) around, and clocks him with, yes, a clock! The cuckoo clock smashes and O'Haire has hit the floor, but leaps up suddenly and throws Eddie over the guard barrier into the fans! As O'Haire leaps over the barrier to continue his beat-down of the El Paso native, Goldust(AJ) is being beaten up by a positively mental Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno has thrown Goldust back in the ring, but gets stopped by Edge(RM18), who lows blow him! Edge lays into Rhyno with boots, and Y2J now pounces on Goldust! He’s got a stop sign, and smacks Goldust over the head with it! Once more! And again, for the good times! Goldust cannot know where he is, surely! But he’s getting up… slowly! Jericho(Figo) notices this, bounces off the ropes, AND BULLDOGS HIM ONTO THE SIGN! Goldust could be out… that could be all! Jericho covers Goldust:
1
Broken up by both Edge(RM18) and Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno hauls up Y2J, while Edge takes Goldust(AJ) by the ears, and both are thrown out of the ring! Edge and Rhyno have commandeered the ring! Edge tries to get the upper hand, and school boys Rhyno:
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Kick out by Rhyno(Random Hero) at 2, and both men run at each other, looking for the shoulder block! Rhyno knocks down Edge(RM18) this time, though, and runs towards the ropes; Edge ducks down; Rhyno comes back at goes for the clothesline; Edge ducks; Rhyno goes for another clothesline; Edge ducks again; Rhyno just lands a toe kick to the gut of Edge, and then whips the Toronto native into the ropes, and lifts him up into a press slam… delayed press slam… very impressive show of strength by Rhyno… he drops Edge down behind hi- NO! School boy by Edge! Here’s the count:
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Kick out! Rhyno(Random Hero) grabs Edge(RM18) by the hair, but Edge escapes with elbows to the gut. He runs at Rhyno, who ducks his attacks; Edge bounces off the ropes, but Rhyno catches him and BACK BODY DROPS HIM OVER THE ROPES! Right onto Crash(Grandprix)! Edge and Crash have been annihilated by this angry monster – the Big F’N Deal is here, and he means business, folks!
Chris Jericho(Figo) has abandoned this ringside confusion to pursue O'Haire(Lipe) and Guerrero(Cong Man)’s venture into the crowd – he’s caught up with Guerrero now, but Guerrero just turns around and smashes Jericho in the face! Jericho is still vulnerable in the face from that unadulterated pummelling he took at the hands of Steve Austin mere months ago! As the Living Legend goes down clutching his nose, Sean O'Haire capitalises by putting Latino Heat in a sleeper, and is now dragging him to the flight of stairs… this does not look good! That flight of stairs leads to a technical area, where our TV broadcast is maintained! Enough damage in there, and we could be off the air!
O'Haire(Lipe) has managed to shove Guerrero(Cong Man) up the stairs and nearer to that room… this is not where Guerrero wants to be at all, not least because the two of them are nowhere near the main part of the action! They can only pin in the ring, and they sure ain’t in the ring, ladies and gentlemen! Hold on, here’s Jericho(Figo) – WHAM! O'Haire dodged out of the way, and Jericho slammed himself directly into the door of the technical area! Eddie Guerrero takes advantage of O'Haire’s lack of concentration, and low blows O'Haire!
Meanwhile, with Edge(RM18) and Crash(Grandprix) out of action outside the ring, Rhyno(Random Hero) has been taking on both Kane(Starlight) and Goldust(AJ) at once, and he’s not doing bad, I’ll tell you! Kane tries for a clothesline, Rhyno ducks it, and Kane catches Goldust! That’s not what he wants to happen, as Rhyno is proving enough of a challenge for the both of them! Rhyno charges at Kane and chop-blocks the knee! Kane collapses to the canvas, and Rhyno puts Kane(Starlight)’s left leg into a simple leg lock, which is subtly twisting Kane’s knee, so much so that Kane may not be that concerned by it at the moment – soon enough, though, the immense leg strength of Rhyno(Random Hero) will be making a difference, I assure you! Edge(RM18) has started to stir on the outside, and is now climbing atop the nearest turnbuckle – DIVING HEADBUTT TO RHYNO! Edge steals a page from the Encyclopaedia Benoitica with that move, and breaks Rhyno’s grasp of Kane’s leg – Kane’s up, but he’s after Edge!
As all this is happening down at ringside (and worryingly close to my good self) Sean O'Haire(Lipe) is handing Chris Jericho(Figo)’s aS$ to him, while Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) hides behind a nearby stack of boxes. O'Haire scoops up Jericho and slams him down hard! Y2J quickly manages to get up, but O'Haire is having none of it, as he scoop slams him down again! But Jericho is getting up once again! O'Haire looks astounded, but doesn’t let that stop him as he tilta-whirl back-breakers Jericho! Eddie Guerrero looks on, and now decides to launch a sneak attack on O'Haire – but O'Haire(Lipe) just grabs Guerrero(Cong Man)’s arms, forces him backwards, AND PUSHES HIM DOWN THE STAIRS! NO! UNBELIEVABLE! Good God Almighty, why the Hell did he do that? Eddie Guerrero was actually pushed so hard that he flew above about half the steps, before his legs caught the others and he effectively tripped up, backwards, and in mid-air! Jesus Christ alive! Did you see Guerrero’s head just smack one of those steps? That’s SICK! Eddie’s out at the bottom of the stairs, O'Haire’s just looking on, I’ve got the producers screaming in my ear, I don’t know what to do – this is madness! And now- wait just a minute, Y2J’s grabbed Sean in a head-arm lock (very Taz-like!) and is running with O'Haire(Lipe) in his arms towards- OH GOD NO! Jericho’s just leapt through the pane glass window of the technical room, drilling O'Haire’s head through the glass, along with Y2J’s own! The Ayatollah sacrificed himself to destroy Sean O'Haire! There’s glass scattered all over the technical room, some of the technical staff are bleeding, both our wrestlers are down and soaked in there own crimson – someone’s got to stop this insanity, surely!
We’re going to take you to an action replay now, to show you a HUGE move hit by Kane(Starlight) on Rhyno(Random Hero) that you missed while we were watching the events between those three now-broken men!
*Action replay*
Now, you can see Kane(Starlight) and Rhyno(Random Hero) there, watch Kane… He smacks Rhyno very hard in the face with a right hand, then he runs to the corner, leaps onto second, then third rope, and hits a MOONSAULT CROSS-BODY ON RHYNO! Rhyno was destroyed in that attack, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such athleticism from the 300 lb übermonster!
*Back to live action*
Kane(Starlight) neglected the opportunity to go for a pin, instead favouring to watch what was going on up in the technical area, but has now pulled Rhyno(Random Hero) up by the hair, and is scooping him up… Tombstone?! Rhyno’s in trouble here, but here’s Edge(RM18) now – he’s up top the top turnbuckle now, but he seems to be trying to communicate with Kane… Edge leaps off – SPIKE TOMBSTONE! Rhyno’s been decimated with that move! But now Kane gets back up, Edge turns around – CHOKESLAM ON EDGE! Kane covers Edge:
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3! With 25:57 left, we have our first pin! Kane(Starlight) is the one to beat, and if he’s able to avoid being pinned for the next 25 or so minutes, he’s the Euro-Continental champion! And judging by the carnage surrounding him, there shouldn’t be too many challenges from any of these combatants! But there’s Goldust(AJ)! He goes up to Kane – but Kane’s got him, and now hits a huge powerbomb on Goldust! Goldust rolls out of the ring – and under it?! Crazy!
Let’s go back to the technical area and see what’s being done to help these tortured souls covered in blood and glass – nothing, obviously! The technical crew have all but abandoned the place, barring our main man Phil, and neither Jericho(Figo) nor O'Haire(Lipe) are actually moving at all. How’s Eddie, I hear you cry – well, he’s not moving either, I’m sad to say. This is ridiculous – where’re the EMTs?! We need help here, and we need it now!
Wait, Crash Holly(Grandprix) is moving down near the ring! He’s on his hands and knees, trying to get in the ring – that’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever known! He’s managed to crawl into the ring now, where he sees the devastation that Kane(Starlight) has caused, and now he scrambles out! He’s sped underneath the ring, but now he’s got Kane following him! Kane slides out of the ring, lifts up the ring cover, but gets a mouth full of fire extinguisher! Crash sprayed it right in his face – great strategy by Crash! Crash is now throwing all manner of objects into the ring – everything except the kitchen sink! And there’s the kitchen sink! But Kane stops it with a knee to the mid-section! He’s got Crash by the throat – he lifts him up – and crotches him on the guard barrier! Kane(Starlight)’s now looking under the ring, and he’s brought out a baking tray; he’s telling a fan to hold it in front of Crash(Grandprix)’s face! The fan can only oblige, as Kane gets up onto the ring apron, takes a run up – and leaps for a huge haymaker to the face of Crash! That’s not going to be pleasant! Crash has tumbled off the barrier, right into Kane’s grasp – Kane now throws Crash into the ring –
BIG NEWS! Chris Jericho(Figo) is moving up in the technical area! Sadly, the same cannot be said for Sean O'Haire(Lipe), or Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man). The Highlight of the Night, who may have just given us the Spot of the Night so far, grimaces as he throws his arms onto a technical dock to try and hoist himself up.
Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is being tended to by some fans, but thy don’t seem to be getting much of a response from him at the moment… down in the ring, Kane(Starlight) is just destroying Crash(Grandprix) with a series of slams and shots. He whips Crash into the ropes, and hits a magnificent powerslam! Kane now grabs a broom, and is sizing up his prey… Crash is just about getting up to his feet, but Kane brings the broom down across his back! Good Lord, it snapped in two! Crash is back, face-down on the mat, as Kane goes back to Edge(RM18) and Rhyno(Random Hero). Rhyno has barely recovered from that stunning Spike Tombstone, but now he has to contend with the Big Red Machine again – but he’s not afraid, launching rights and lefts, rights and lefts, and now a huge boot to the groin! Kane gets whipped to the ropes, Rhyno runs to the opposite ropes, ducks a clothesline attempt by Kane – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno just gored Kane, right in the middle of the ring! Rhyno goes for the cover:
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3! With 19:42 left on the clock, Rhyno(Random Hero) has taken the mantle from Kane(Starlight)! But wait – SCHOOL BOY BY EDGE(RM18)!
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3! Just like that, with 19:38 left, Edge(RM18) has effectively stolen the title from Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno is livid to the point of his blood vessels bursting, and Edge takes the hint, speeding out of the ring and up the ramp.
*Huge crash! The set is destroyed*
WHAT THE HELL – IT’S A LORRY! A LORRY! A LORRY, FOR GOD’S SAKE! Who’s in it?! Who the Hell is driving that lorry?! It’s driving down the ramp, right after Edge(RM18)! Edge dives out of the way, as the lorry slams against the ring! Who’s in it?! The door opens… great, the guy’s got a balaclava and is in an orange boiler suit! He climbs up onto the cab of the lorry; he’s pulling the mask off – IT’S TRIPLE H(Ant)! Triple H! He dives off the lorry, and right onto Kane(Starlight)! He’s pounding away at Kane’s face, such strong right hands! Rhyno(Random Hero) wants in, and he double-axe handles HHH – but The Game’s having none of that! HHH grabs Rhyno, and whips him into the ropes – SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE KITCHEN SINK! Rhyno can’t be loving that! As Rhyno cries out in pain from that assault on his back, Triple H(Ant) turns his attention to the current champion, Edge(RM18) – and now the chase is on!
Edge(RM18) leaps over the barrier, right into the fans at ringside, and Triple H(Ant) follows him! They’re heading in the direction of the mess in the technical area! Chris Jericho(Figo) is now actually on his feet, ladies and gents! I can’t see, but I think O'Haire(Lipe) is also moving to some degree, as well. Edge and Triple H are now within reach of the stairs, where Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is still being tended to by some fans. Edge is trying to run as fast as he can up the stairs, but is he aware that Chris Jericho is now able to attack him? Triple H is closing in on the Canadian, and there’s Y2J – he goes for a clothesline on Edge, but gets The Game! Edge and Jericho turn to face each other – Edge(RM18) goes for a right hand, Jericho(Figo) ducks, goes for one of his own, Edge blocks that, goes for another right hand, Jericho blocks that, they’ve melded into a modified tie-up here, each trying to get the better of the other – BUT SEAN O’HAIRE LEAPS FROM BEHIND THE TECHNICAL DOCK AND HITS A HUGE FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! What a harrowing sight! The bloodied, beaten and bruised O'Haire(Lipe) leapt into view, wailing like a demon, face like thunder, and took out both Edge and Jericho! Triple H(Ant) is back up, and has gone down the stairs to go after Eddie!
Guerrero(Cong Man) is in a lot of trouble, and The Game knows it – he’s lifted Latino Heat up, but Eddie’s firing at him with rights and lefts! DDT BY GUERRERO! Triple H(Ant) is down and out, but Eddie’s now got his second wind! He’s heading towards the ring – good Lord, look at the back of his head! There’s blood everywhere! He must have had it cracked open! Nevertheless, Eddie is heading back to the ring, even though the champion is actually back in the technical area – I’ll let it pass, seeing as Eddie Guerrero should really be in comatose by now! He’s crawled over the barrier, but Goldust(AJ) has sprung from beneath the ring with a trash can! He swings it at Guerrero(Cong Man), but Eddie grabs it, takes it from him, and puts it over Goldust’s head! DROPKICK BY EDDIE TO THE CAN! Goldust is down, as Eddie now invades the ring! Kane(Starlight) steps up, but gets knocked down! Rhyno(Random Hero) tries his luck, but gets a right hand for a prize! Kane’s back up, but Eddie runs to the outside, where he is met by a bloody Crash(Grandprix)! The littlest Holly has a chair, and swings it at Eddie – misses, but manages to ram the side of it right into Eddie’s stomach! Eddie falls to the floor, AND CRASH SMACKS HIM WITH THE CHAIR! It looked as though Eddie managed to cover his head with his hands and arms, but that’s scant consolation at the minute!
Goldust(AJ) is showing signs of a recovery on the outside, but the place to be is by the technical area, as Triple H(Ant) is clearly not himself, after that shocking DDT on the concrete by Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Sean O'Haire(Lipe), back from the dead, is dominating both Edge(RM18) and Y2J, Chris Jericho(Figo), with strong shots to the stomach! Simple, but it works! Edge is up, but gets caught by a toe kick to the stomach, and now Sean O'Haire seems to be trying for a powerbomb – he’s pointing over the edge of the ledge! Edge has to escape, or tonight, his career could be over! O’Haire’s got him on his shoulders, but Edge is punching away at Sean! Edge(RM18) rolls back down, and is trying to back drop O'Haire(Lipe) over the edge! That’s a good 20 feet of sheer drop! O'Haire’s gone over – WAIT! HE’S STILL HOLDING ON TO THE EDGE! O'Haire has a chance! He’s flipped himself over! He’s safe! But Chris Jericho(Figo) and Edge both hit him with a clothesline each! That had velocity, heat, and various other WWE shows to it!
Triple H(Ant) is up, and coming up the stairs! He’s after something to hurt! But as he’s climbing up the stairs, Sean O'Haire(Lipe) is pushing Edge(RM18) back down them! I don’t know how O'Haire got back up, took out The Ayatollah AND managed to subdue Edge, but that’s not important right now, as Y2J starts to follow, pushing Edge down towards the ring with O'Haire! And now Triple H is helping the other two push Edge to the ring, where he can be pinned, and his championship lost! They’ve muscled the Toronto native over the guard barrier, but Edge(RM18) is now running for his life – but there’s Kane(Starlight)! BIG BOOT! Good night, Edge! Kane picks Edge up, throws him in the ring, but Triple H, Jericho(Figo) and O'Haire(Lipe) have pounced on the Big Red Machine! They’ve obviously realised his power and ferocity, so now they’re isolating him and eliminating a threat!
Back in the ring, Rhyno(Random Hero) has been mauling Crash(Grandprix)-
*10 MINUTE WARNING*
10 minutes of this craziness left, folks! Hold on tight! Anyway, as I was saying, Rhyno(Random Hero) has all but killed Crash(Grandprix) by now, and now he focuses all his attention on the fallen Edge(RM18)! Edge is picked up by the Manbeast, and whipped hard into the corner! Rhyno charges – AND GORES EDGE! Rhyno doesn’t let Edge rest, though, as he holds Edge up – PILEDRIVER! Rhyno goes for the cover:
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Goldust(AJ) breaks up the count with a elbow and trash can lid combination from the top! Rhyno(Random Hero) rolls to the side, clutching at the back of his head, as Goldust makes a cover:
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3! Goldust(AJ) is the champion! 8:52 left, and Goldust is the man to get! But here’s Sean O'Haire(lipe)! He tries a running forearm, but Goldust ducks; kicks backwards – LOW BLOW! Nice shot! But as he turns to look at O'Haire – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno(Random Hero) gored Goldust out of nowhere! He covers him:
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Chris Jericho(Figo) breaks it up with a kendo stick! He pulls Rhyno(Random Hero) away from Goldust(AJ), and covers the Bizarre One himself:
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3! Jericho(Figo) takes the title with 8:33 left on the clock! But Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is back up, absolutely soaked in blood! HOLD ON! PEDIGREE ON THE OUTSIDE TO KANE! Triple H(Ant) has made his mark, and Kane(Starlight) won’t be seeing too much action in this match anymore! Back in the ring, and Eddie Guerrero is now testing Chris Jericho’s ability to wrestle – arm drag by Guerrero; one by Jericho to Latino Heat; Eddie responds with a headlock; Y2J backs them both into the ropes; Eddie shot into the ropes; Jericho leapfrogs him, grabs a frying pan, as Guerrero goes back into the ropes; Eddie returns, Jericho swings the pan, misses, Eddie tries to dropkick Jericho; misses the kick, as Jericho boots Guerrero in the gut; Eddie’s up, Jericho swings the pan again, but Eddie grabs the pan from Y2J’s grasp – WHAT A SHOT BY GUERRERO! Jericho’s out! That could be it! Cover:
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KICK OUT! HOW?! Stunning resilience by a beaten and bloodied Canadian champion! Eddie looks shocked as he starts protesting to the ref, but Triple H(Ant) has now made a slow, calculated entrance into the ring, trying to avoid as many other wrestlers as possible – he’s gone straight for Jericho(Figo), picks him up, double-underhooks the arms – PEDIGREE! Triple H makes the- NO! He sneaks behind Eddie – LOW BLOW! Hooks the arms – PEDIGREE AGAIN! Helmsley goes back over to Jericho, makes the cover:
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3! Triple H(Ant) gets the mantle, but can he hold on? There’s 6:56 left for him to survive – it’ll be difficult! And Rhyno(Random Hero) is back up! Trips notices this, and he scrams up to the lorry! Rhyno is giving chase, and they’re both on the top of the lorry – GORE! GORE ! GORE! Rhyno manages to gore Triple H in the back as he was running away! Rhyno can’t let up – he’s not going to! Lifts him up – PILEDRIVER ON THE LORRY! Rhyno’s picked Triple H back up, and he’s thrown him all the way back into the ring from the lorry! And now – SPLASH BY RHY- NO! Crash(Grandprix) pulled HHH out of the way, kicks Rhyno hard in the head, and covers The Game:
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3! Crash(Grandprix) is now the champ! Exactly 5 minutes left! But O'Haire(Lipe)’s right behind him – he picks him up in a Torture Rack, BUT DROPS HIM IN A REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER, RIGHT ON A TRASH CAN! He goes for the cover:
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Goldust(AJ) pulls O'Haire(Lipe) off Crash(Grandprix)! Goldust drags O'Haire up by the neck, dragon sleeper position, lifts him up – CURTAIN CALL ON SEAN O'HAIRE! And now Goldust has picked Crash up – he’s pushed him into the corner, and has separated the legs – this looks bad for Crash! Goldust runs over to the other corner; he takes a run-up to Crash – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno, yet again, gores someone! And now, Rhyno notices that Crash is hung up in the corner – NO! GOOD GOD! GORE TO THE GROIN OF CRASH! Rhyno pulls Crash down, and goes for another cover:
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Jericho(Figo) breaks up the count! Rhyno(Random Hero) is incensed, as he starts to pound away on Chris Jericho! This is insane – we’ve got Rhyno mugging Jericho, Kane(Starlight)’s had his face crushed on the outside, Crash(Grandprix) has been castrated, but here’s Edge(RM18)! Edge(RM18) makes the cover on the fallen Crash Holly:
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CRASH KICKS OUT! CRASH KICKS OUT! Edge(RM18) can’t believe it! And neither can I! As Edge looks on, bemused, Crash(Grandprix) manages to sneak away, without anyone noticing – except for Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Eddie and Crash are now battling on the outside, punching and kicking for all they’re worth! But Crash manages to land a few knees to the stomach of the El Paso resident, and now is searching underneath the ring for something – the trusty 2x4! He swings it, but Eddie ducks; swings again, but misses once more; Eddie’s clearly tired of this, and hits a low blow to Crash! He grabs the 2x4 off Crash, and smacks it over his head! Eddie has the championship in his sights! He throws Crash in the ring, and makes the cover:
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Rhyno(Random Hero) breaks it up this time! Rhyno hits a low dropkick, right into Eddie’s head, which leaves the door wide open for Rhyno to get the pin! Cover:
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Crash(Grandprix) kicks out again! Unbelievable! With just over 3 minutes left, Crash is doing his darnedest to keep hold of that title! Rhyno(Random Hero) has done his best to get the title, but he just can’t! Triple H(Ant) still hasn’t recovered from that devastating piledriver on the lorry, and Kane(Starlight) isn’t moving from that Pedigree on the outside. Edge(RM18) has now taken issue with Rhyno, as he whips him into the ropes, AND GOES FOR THE SPEAR- BUT RHYNO WENT FOR THE GORE! THEIR HEADS CRACKED TOGETHER! They’re both out of it! And now both Sean O'Haire(Lipe) and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) are back up, and are after Crash! O’Haire charges at Crash, but the champ throws him over the rope! But Eddie’s still here – Crash kicks him in the stomach, and now – hauls him up into a piledriver position – steps over the arms – CRASH LANDING! STYLES CLASH! Call it what you like, it’s damned effective, and has given Crash the upper hand! But Goldust(AJ) is back up now, still clutching at his mid-section after that devastating gore by Rhyno, but he’s now behind Crash – CURTAIN CALL! Goldust makes the cover:
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3! Goldust(AJ) has the title! 1:58 left! Can he hold on? His first move as champion is to run up to the lorry, and pounce on it! He’s now far away from the action, safe as can be! But Chris Jericho(Figo) is now on call! He’s noticed who’s champion, and he wants to change it! But – he not going onto the lorry, but he’s slid out of the ring, beside the giant vehicle – and now he’s got himself a table! And he’s taking that table alongside the lorry – he’s setting it up behind the lorry! What’s he doing this for? But wait! From the other side of the lorry, here’s a partially recovered Sean O'Haire(Lipe)! He’s assaults Y2J with shockingly hard, forceful shots to the face, and has now laid out Jericho on the table! Edge(RM18) has now managed to wander aimlessly towards the table, where O'Haire is waiting patiently to get hold of some fresh meat! More obscenely hard shots to Edge, and now he is also on the table! Sean O'Haire has a plan, surely! But Triple H(Ant) is up, and he’s snuck up onto the lorry, behind Goldust! Still sneaking… LOW BLOW TO THE CHAMP! HHH turns him around, and – NO! A PEDIGREE! A PEDIGREE ON THE DAMN LORRY! Goldust could be concussed if he’s lucky! Triple H, looking extremely pleased with himself, is now concentrating on Sean O'Haire, who seems to be executing some sort of fiendish plan – he’s started to climb for the top of the lorry!
Triple H(Ant) doesn’t know whether to help or hinder this attempt by Sean O'Haire(Lipe) – at the moment, he’s just watching, waiting to see if O'Haire will attack him… O'Haire is on the top of the lorry now! They’re looking at each other – eyeballing each other… and HHH swings at O'Haire! They’re having a common fistfight right now! But here’s Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) to spice up the mix! Both O'Haire and Helmsley are targeting Latino Heat, but now O'Haire has left that mini-brawl, wanders to the back edge of the lorry – he jumps! – SEANTON BOMB OFF THE LORRY THROUGH THE TABLE! O'Haire has decimated Edge(RM18) and Jericho(Figo)!
*1 MINUTE WARNING*
Just 1 minute left, folks, with Goldust(AJ) as the champion! But he’s been laid out on the lorry! Triple H(Ant) and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) are having a fistfight on the lorry as well, with Kane(Starlight) on the outside, dead, and Rhyno(Random Hero) in the ring with Crash(Grandprix), who are both down and out! But Rhyno is moving! He’s moving! And he’s up! He’s going straight after Goldust, by the looks of it, but first – GORE! GORE! GORE! Gore to Triple H, and a low blow for Guerrero! And now Rhyno has got Goldust, and is dragging him off the lorry, and has dropped him into the ring! Rhyno joins him in the ring, hauls him up – PILEDRIVER ON THE KITCHEN SINK! Goldust must be completely out! Rhyno gets the cover:
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3! At last, Rhyno(Random Hero) gets the pin, and Rhyno has the belt! 30 seconds left! And Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is up after that low blow! He leaps off the lorry – AND FROG SPLASHES THE FALLEN CRASH HOLLY! But now he’s back up, and going for Rhyno – both have weapons! Rhyno has a stop sign, Guerrero, a baking tray! Both swing – CRASH! They hit each other’s weapon! Again – CRASH! Same result! But now Eddie, desperate for a pin, kicks Rhyno in the gut – THREE SHOTS WITH THE BAKING TRAY! Rhyno’s head got smashed! Eddie covers:
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KICK OUT! 10 seconds left! Eddie’s got virtually no time left now! He stamps on Rhyno’s throat, and goes for the turnbuckle! Eddie’s climbing slowly, due to that crack in his head, but he’s up there – he loses his balance slightly, but has regained it – FROG SPLASH ON RHYNO! He’s got the cover:
1
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*Time over buzzer!*
3! Did he? NO! It was too late! By mere milliseconds, Rhyno(Random Hero) has officially won the SRW Euro-Continental Championship! Incredible! Just about everyone in this match now has some form of injury, the set is almost destroyed, the technical area is barely working at all, and the ring is covered in blood! We’ve got a huge team of EMTs now rushing down to the ring, some substitute technical staff to keep the show going, a couple of cleaners to clean the ring of the blood, some more backstage crew men to get rid of all the weapons, and a team of men to get the lorry out of the arena!
The lorry is being reversed out of the arena, and directed by the men there, while the EMTs deal with the wounded wrestlers, all nine of them! The ring is coming along nicely, and we seem to be working again in terms of the technical team. The first of the combatants has been wheeled away on a stretcher, that’s Goldust(AJ), and Kane(Starlight) is also in need of one. The lorry has gone now, and it seems that the set will not need very much to be repaired – in fact, all the crew are doing is pushing back together the parts that were separated by the lorry’s charge! Nice and simple, guys!
Well, we’ve got some truly fantastic matches still on the card tonight, so I would advise you to get ready for them now, as we clear the arena of the remnants of this chaos. Congratulations go to Rhyno(Random Hero) for winning the match, but also to all the wrestlers in this match for putting on a fantastic show!
That’s SRW, and that’s all!
***
Well, no devastatingly lasting injuries to speak of, Rhyno as the new Euro-Continental champion, it all seems fair.
Well done to Random Hero for his victory.
Triple H (Ant) Vs Chris Jericho (Figo) Vs Sean O'Haire (Lipe) Vs Rhyno (Random Hero) Vs Edge (RM18) Vs Eddie Guerrero (Cong Man) Vs Crash (Grandprix) Vs Kane (Starlight) Vs Goldust (AfroJoe)
Written by LL Cool T
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. SRW Free Fall is coming to you live, courtesy of SpecialReserve.TV, and up next we have what promises to be one of the most insane, desperate, madcap struggles we’re ever likely to see in this federation. 9 competitors, one title… but what’s the time limit? Reaver(Ant) has told us that he specifically waited until tonight to tell us the time limit, and we only presume that he’s going to come out now and tell us…
*Arena flooded with gold light*
Apparently not, ladies and gentlemen! Because, for all our viewing pleasure, here comes the first contender for this highly-valued prize, the Euro-Continental Title – Goldust(AfroJoe)! Admittedly not the favourite for the belt, what with some main-event wrestlers in this match, but I’ve been getting opinion in the back, and this guy is considered to be quite the dark horse. The Shattered Dreams, Director’s Cut and Curtain Call could easily see the belt go his way. He’s entering the ring, removing the wig and parading himself to the crowd: it’s an impressive following he’s got there in the crowd tonight! The arena’s been returned to usual colour, as Goldust awaits the next wrestler.
*You think you know me!*
Edge(RM18) is here, ladies and gentlemen! The arena’s descended into a melee of darkness and spotlights, the crowd’s loving it, but Edge… he’s nowhere to be seen! Wait! He’s been found by one of the spotlights, battling his way through his legions of followers, returning to this old entrance gimmick of 1999 fame. He’s somehow managed to get through the screeching masses, and has leapt heroically over the guard barrier, making his way into the ring. Sensibly avoiding any sort of altercation with Goldust(AJ), Edge stands atop the turnbuckle for his adoring fans! I can barely hear myself! SRW said let there be light, and there was as the lights come back on, and we wait for the next combatant.
*Crash’s music hits*
Crash(Grandprix) is sprinting for his life towards the ring, a face full of fear! He’s slid into the ring, where he’s been caught by Edge(RM18) and Goldust(AJ), but I’d imagine that that’s the least of his problems – who the Hell was he running from? Wait a second, it’s Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Swiftly followed by O'Haire(Lipe)! They’re both bleeding from the forehead, and not moving well at all, it seems! This is havoc – double flapjack on Crash in the ring! Who’s responsible for all this carnage?
*Explosion!*
I should have known – it’s Kane(Starlight)! The Big Red Machine has been busting these people up worse than Iraqi civilians in a US air-raid! Kane is running to the ring, clearly a man on a mission, taking out both O'Haire(Lipe) and Guerrero(Cong Man) on the way! He’s in the ring now, Goldust(AJ) goes up, gets knocked down! Edge(RM18) – ditto! Crash(Grandprix), still recovering from that crushing double flapjack, is down, facing the lights! Kane, however, is showing no mercy tonight – he’s got Crash by the throat on the canvas! Wow! He’s lifting Crash up in a single movement, right above his head! Kane’s got Crash Holly, and he’s edging towards the ropes with him… CHOKESLAM TO THE CONCRETE! Good night New Orleans! We won’t be seeing too much from Crash in this match from now on, I’ll wager!
Kane(Starlight) would do well to take note of what’s going on outside – Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) and Sean O'Haire(Lipe) are talking amongst themselves, while Kane picks up Goldust(AJ) in a press slam – and drops him on his face! Guerrero and O'Haire are conspiring with each other, and now charge the ring! Kane(Starlight) turns around, but it’s surely too late- hey! O'Haire and Guerrero are attacking each other! Their double-crossing natures have got the best of them, but Kane’s already had enough of this, and clotheslines the both of them!
*Small explosion*
Screw the countdown, says Y2J! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, the Living Legend, the Highlight of the Night, Chris Jericho(Figo) himself has entered into this madness!
*Screeching electric guitar*
That’s Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno has arrived on the scene, and immediately GORES Y2J IN THE BACK! Jericho is down! Unbelievable entrance by the last ever ECW Heavyweight and TV Champion! If you ask me, this guy is owed a title, and he’s where my money went (don’t tell the wife)! That means, if my arithmetic is correct, and it probably isn’t, we’re waiting just one last person, The Game, Triple H(Ant)!But so far, we’ve seen no sign of him – chicken, you say? Hang on there, here’s the commish! Reaver(Ant) is just standing at the top of the ramp, mic in hand, no doubt waiting to tell us all what the time limit for the orchestrated mayhem is!
Reaver: Well, well… looks like our Euro-Continental match is off to a good start, doesn’t it? Good to see, good to see… OK, I’m betting that you’re all salivating over this piece of news I’m about to give you. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all yadda yadda yadda… I have, in this envelope, the time limit that has been set for this match!
*Crowd cheers*
Reaver: OK… The official time limit for this Euro-Continental Title match-up is… 37 minutes, 28 seconds!
*Crowd cheers in confusion*
Well, you can’t accuse our Commish of being unoriginal! 37:25 has been put up on the timer…
DING! DING! DING!
And the match has begun… without Triple H(Ant)?! Obviously! Kane(Starlight) punches Jericho(Figo) square in the mouth! Y2J has been felled early on by a knockout punch from Kane! O'Haire(Lipe) comes up from behind and clubs Kane on the back on the head, as everyone else in the match has retired to outside the ring, plundering the underside of the ring for it’s fatal booty! Kane has picked Jericho up, and whipped him into the ropes – Big Boot! And how! Kane covers Jericho:
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2 – Broken up by a crutch to the head from Goldust(AJ)! Kane(Starlight) grasps his head in pain, but is quickly on his feet and chasing after the Bizarre One! Goldust legs it out of the ring, with Kane in hot pursuit – stopped by a frying pan forehand by Sean O'Haire(Lipe)! Kane is down, and being roundly assaulted by every other combatant in the match (except for poor old Crash, of course)! Even the crowd at ringside are throwing beer cups and other such paraphenalia onto Kane! With fans like those, who needs Triple H? Speaking of which, where is this guy? I thought he was meant to be in this match too!
Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) spins O'Haire(Lipe) around, and clocks him with, yes, a clock! The cuckoo clock smashes and O'Haire has hit the floor, but leaps up suddenly and throws Eddie over the guard barrier into the fans! As O'Haire leaps over the barrier to continue his beat-down of the El Paso native, Goldust(AJ) is being beaten up by a positively mental Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno has thrown Goldust back in the ring, but gets stopped by Edge(RM18), who lows blow him! Edge lays into Rhyno with boots, and Y2J now pounces on Goldust! He’s got a stop sign, and smacks Goldust over the head with it! Once more! And again, for the good times! Goldust cannot know where he is, surely! But he’s getting up… slowly! Jericho(Figo) notices this, bounces off the ropes, AND BULLDOGS HIM ONTO THE SIGN! Goldust could be out… that could be all! Jericho covers Goldust:
1
Broken up by both Edge(RM18) and Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno hauls up Y2J, while Edge takes Goldust(AJ) by the ears, and both are thrown out of the ring! Edge and Rhyno have commandeered the ring! Edge tries to get the upper hand, and school boys Rhyno:
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Kick out by Rhyno(Random Hero) at 2, and both men run at each other, looking for the shoulder block! Rhyno knocks down Edge(RM18) this time, though, and runs towards the ropes; Edge ducks down; Rhyno comes back at goes for the clothesline; Edge ducks; Rhyno goes for another clothesline; Edge ducks again; Rhyno just lands a toe kick to the gut of Edge, and then whips the Toronto native into the ropes, and lifts him up into a press slam… delayed press slam… very impressive show of strength by Rhyno… he drops Edge down behind hi- NO! School boy by Edge! Here’s the count:
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Kick out! Rhyno(Random Hero) grabs Edge(RM18) by the hair, but Edge escapes with elbows to the gut. He runs at Rhyno, who ducks his attacks; Edge bounces off the ropes, but Rhyno catches him and BACK BODY DROPS HIM OVER THE ROPES! Right onto Crash(Grandprix)! Edge and Crash have been annihilated by this angry monster – the Big F’N Deal is here, and he means business, folks!
Chris Jericho(Figo) has abandoned this ringside confusion to pursue O'Haire(Lipe) and Guerrero(Cong Man)’s venture into the crowd – he’s caught up with Guerrero now, but Guerrero just turns around and smashes Jericho in the face! Jericho is still vulnerable in the face from that unadulterated pummelling he took at the hands of Steve Austin mere months ago! As the Living Legend goes down clutching his nose, Sean O'Haire capitalises by putting Latino Heat in a sleeper, and is now dragging him to the flight of stairs… this does not look good! That flight of stairs leads to a technical area, where our TV broadcast is maintained! Enough damage in there, and we could be off the air!
O'Haire(Lipe) has managed to shove Guerrero(Cong Man) up the stairs and nearer to that room… this is not where Guerrero wants to be at all, not least because the two of them are nowhere near the main part of the action! They can only pin in the ring, and they sure ain’t in the ring, ladies and gentlemen! Hold on, here’s Jericho(Figo) – WHAM! O'Haire dodged out of the way, and Jericho slammed himself directly into the door of the technical area! Eddie Guerrero takes advantage of O'Haire’s lack of concentration, and low blows O'Haire!
Meanwhile, with Edge(RM18) and Crash(Grandprix) out of action outside the ring, Rhyno(Random Hero) has been taking on both Kane(Starlight) and Goldust(AJ) at once, and he’s not doing bad, I’ll tell you! Kane tries for a clothesline, Rhyno ducks it, and Kane catches Goldust! That’s not what he wants to happen, as Rhyno is proving enough of a challenge for the both of them! Rhyno charges at Kane and chop-blocks the knee! Kane collapses to the canvas, and Rhyno puts Kane(Starlight)’s left leg into a simple leg lock, which is subtly twisting Kane’s knee, so much so that Kane may not be that concerned by it at the moment – soon enough, though, the immense leg strength of Rhyno(Random Hero) will be making a difference, I assure you! Edge(RM18) has started to stir on the outside, and is now climbing atop the nearest turnbuckle – DIVING HEADBUTT TO RHYNO! Edge steals a page from the Encyclopaedia Benoitica with that move, and breaks Rhyno’s grasp of Kane’s leg – Kane’s up, but he’s after Edge!
As all this is happening down at ringside (and worryingly close to my good self) Sean O'Haire(Lipe) is handing Chris Jericho(Figo)’s aS$ to him, while Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) hides behind a nearby stack of boxes. O'Haire scoops up Jericho and slams him down hard! Y2J quickly manages to get up, but O'Haire is having none of it, as he scoop slams him down again! But Jericho is getting up once again! O'Haire looks astounded, but doesn’t let that stop him as he tilta-whirl back-breakers Jericho! Eddie Guerrero looks on, and now decides to launch a sneak attack on O'Haire – but O'Haire(Lipe) just grabs Guerrero(Cong Man)’s arms, forces him backwards, AND PUSHES HIM DOWN THE STAIRS! NO! UNBELIEVABLE! Good God Almighty, why the Hell did he do that? Eddie Guerrero was actually pushed so hard that he flew above about half the steps, before his legs caught the others and he effectively tripped up, backwards, and in mid-air! Jesus Christ alive! Did you see Guerrero’s head just smack one of those steps? That’s SICK! Eddie’s out at the bottom of the stairs, O'Haire’s just looking on, I’ve got the producers screaming in my ear, I don’t know what to do – this is madness! And now- wait just a minute, Y2J’s grabbed Sean in a head-arm lock (very Taz-like!) and is running with O'Haire(Lipe) in his arms towards- OH GOD NO! Jericho’s just leapt through the pane glass window of the technical room, drilling O'Haire’s head through the glass, along with Y2J’s own! The Ayatollah sacrificed himself to destroy Sean O'Haire! There’s glass scattered all over the technical room, some of the technical staff are bleeding, both our wrestlers are down and soaked in there own crimson – someone’s got to stop this insanity, surely!
We’re going to take you to an action replay now, to show you a HUGE move hit by Kane(Starlight) on Rhyno(Random Hero) that you missed while we were watching the events between those three now-broken men!
*Action replay*
Now, you can see Kane(Starlight) and Rhyno(Random Hero) there, watch Kane… He smacks Rhyno very hard in the face with a right hand, then he runs to the corner, leaps onto second, then third rope, and hits a MOONSAULT CROSS-BODY ON RHYNO! Rhyno was destroyed in that attack, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such athleticism from the 300 lb übermonster!
*Back to live action*
Kane(Starlight) neglected the opportunity to go for a pin, instead favouring to watch what was going on up in the technical area, but has now pulled Rhyno(Random Hero) up by the hair, and is scooping him up… Tombstone?! Rhyno’s in trouble here, but here’s Edge(RM18) now – he’s up top the top turnbuckle now, but he seems to be trying to communicate with Kane… Edge leaps off – SPIKE TOMBSTONE! Rhyno’s been decimated with that move! But now Kane gets back up, Edge turns around – CHOKESLAM ON EDGE! Kane covers Edge:
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3! With 25:57 left, we have our first pin! Kane(Starlight) is the one to beat, and if he’s able to avoid being pinned for the next 25 or so minutes, he’s the Euro-Continental champion! And judging by the carnage surrounding him, there shouldn’t be too many challenges from any of these combatants! But there’s Goldust(AJ)! He goes up to Kane – but Kane’s got him, and now hits a huge powerbomb on Goldust! Goldust rolls out of the ring – and under it?! Crazy!
Let’s go back to the technical area and see what’s being done to help these tortured souls covered in blood and glass – nothing, obviously! The technical crew have all but abandoned the place, barring our main man Phil, and neither Jericho(Figo) nor O'Haire(Lipe) are actually moving at all. How’s Eddie, I hear you cry – well, he’s not moving either, I’m sad to say. This is ridiculous – where’re the EMTs?! We need help here, and we need it now!
Wait, Crash Holly(Grandprix) is moving down near the ring! He’s on his hands and knees, trying to get in the ring – that’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever known! He’s managed to crawl into the ring now, where he sees the devastation that Kane(Starlight) has caused, and now he scrambles out! He’s sped underneath the ring, but now he’s got Kane following him! Kane slides out of the ring, lifts up the ring cover, but gets a mouth full of fire extinguisher! Crash sprayed it right in his face – great strategy by Crash! Crash is now throwing all manner of objects into the ring – everything except the kitchen sink! And there’s the kitchen sink! But Kane stops it with a knee to the mid-section! He’s got Crash by the throat – he lifts him up – and crotches him on the guard barrier! Kane(Starlight)’s now looking under the ring, and he’s brought out a baking tray; he’s telling a fan to hold it in front of Crash(Grandprix)’s face! The fan can only oblige, as Kane gets up onto the ring apron, takes a run up – and leaps for a huge haymaker to the face of Crash! That’s not going to be pleasant! Crash has tumbled off the barrier, right into Kane’s grasp – Kane now throws Crash into the ring –
BIG NEWS! Chris Jericho(Figo) is moving up in the technical area! Sadly, the same cannot be said for Sean O'Haire(Lipe), or Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man). The Highlight of the Night, who may have just given us the Spot of the Night so far, grimaces as he throws his arms onto a technical dock to try and hoist himself up.
Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is being tended to by some fans, but thy don’t seem to be getting much of a response from him at the moment… down in the ring, Kane(Starlight) is just destroying Crash(Grandprix) with a series of slams and shots. He whips Crash into the ropes, and hits a magnificent powerslam! Kane now grabs a broom, and is sizing up his prey… Crash is just about getting up to his feet, but Kane brings the broom down across his back! Good Lord, it snapped in two! Crash is back, face-down on the mat, as Kane goes back to Edge(RM18) and Rhyno(Random Hero). Rhyno has barely recovered from that stunning Spike Tombstone, but now he has to contend with the Big Red Machine again – but he’s not afraid, launching rights and lefts, rights and lefts, and now a huge boot to the groin! Kane gets whipped to the ropes, Rhyno runs to the opposite ropes, ducks a clothesline attempt by Kane – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno just gored Kane, right in the middle of the ring! Rhyno goes for the cover:
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3! With 19:42 left on the clock, Rhyno(Random Hero) has taken the mantle from Kane(Starlight)! But wait – SCHOOL BOY BY EDGE(RM18)!
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3! Just like that, with 19:38 left, Edge(RM18) has effectively stolen the title from Rhyno(Random Hero)! Rhyno is livid to the point of his blood vessels bursting, and Edge takes the hint, speeding out of the ring and up the ramp.
*Huge crash! The set is destroyed*
WHAT THE HELL – IT’S A LORRY! A LORRY! A LORRY, FOR GOD’S SAKE! Who’s in it?! Who the Hell is driving that lorry?! It’s driving down the ramp, right after Edge(RM18)! Edge dives out of the way, as the lorry slams against the ring! Who’s in it?! The door opens… great, the guy’s got a balaclava and is in an orange boiler suit! He climbs up onto the cab of the lorry; he’s pulling the mask off – IT’S TRIPLE H(Ant)! Triple H! He dives off the lorry, and right onto Kane(Starlight)! He’s pounding away at Kane’s face, such strong right hands! Rhyno(Random Hero) wants in, and he double-axe handles HHH – but The Game’s having none of that! HHH grabs Rhyno, and whips him into the ropes – SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE KITCHEN SINK! Rhyno can’t be loving that! As Rhyno cries out in pain from that assault on his back, Triple H(Ant) turns his attention to the current champion, Edge(RM18) – and now the chase is on!
Edge(RM18) leaps over the barrier, right into the fans at ringside, and Triple H(Ant) follows him! They’re heading in the direction of the mess in the technical area! Chris Jericho(Figo) is now actually on his feet, ladies and gents! I can’t see, but I think O'Haire(Lipe) is also moving to some degree, as well. Edge and Triple H are now within reach of the stairs, where Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is still being tended to by some fans. Edge is trying to run as fast as he can up the stairs, but is he aware that Chris Jericho is now able to attack him? Triple H is closing in on the Canadian, and there’s Y2J – he goes for a clothesline on Edge, but gets The Game! Edge and Jericho turn to face each other – Edge(RM18) goes for a right hand, Jericho(Figo) ducks, goes for one of his own, Edge blocks that, goes for another right hand, Jericho blocks that, they’ve melded into a modified tie-up here, each trying to get the better of the other – BUT SEAN O’HAIRE LEAPS FROM BEHIND THE TECHNICAL DOCK AND HITS A HUGE FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! What a harrowing sight! The bloodied, beaten and bruised O'Haire(Lipe) leapt into view, wailing like a demon, face like thunder, and took out both Edge and Jericho! Triple H(Ant) is back up, and has gone down the stairs to go after Eddie!
Guerrero(Cong Man) is in a lot of trouble, and The Game knows it – he’s lifted Latino Heat up, but Eddie’s firing at him with rights and lefts! DDT BY GUERRERO! Triple H(Ant) is down and out, but Eddie’s now got his second wind! He’s heading towards the ring – good Lord, look at the back of his head! There’s blood everywhere! He must have had it cracked open! Nevertheless, Eddie is heading back to the ring, even though the champion is actually back in the technical area – I’ll let it pass, seeing as Eddie Guerrero should really be in comatose by now! He’s crawled over the barrier, but Goldust(AJ) has sprung from beneath the ring with a trash can! He swings it at Guerrero(Cong Man), but Eddie grabs it, takes it from him, and puts it over Goldust’s head! DROPKICK BY EDDIE TO THE CAN! Goldust is down, as Eddie now invades the ring! Kane(Starlight) steps up, but gets knocked down! Rhyno(Random Hero) tries his luck, but gets a right hand for a prize! Kane’s back up, but Eddie runs to the outside, where he is met by a bloody Crash(Grandprix)! The littlest Holly has a chair, and swings it at Eddie – misses, but manages to ram the side of it right into Eddie’s stomach! Eddie falls to the floor, AND CRASH SMACKS HIM WITH THE CHAIR! It looked as though Eddie managed to cover his head with his hands and arms, but that’s scant consolation at the minute!
Goldust(AJ) is showing signs of a recovery on the outside, but the place to be is by the technical area, as Triple H(Ant) is clearly not himself, after that shocking DDT on the concrete by Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Sean O'Haire(Lipe), back from the dead, is dominating both Edge(RM18) and Y2J, Chris Jericho(Figo), with strong shots to the stomach! Simple, but it works! Edge is up, but gets caught by a toe kick to the stomach, and now Sean O'Haire seems to be trying for a powerbomb – he’s pointing over the edge of the ledge! Edge has to escape, or tonight, his career could be over! O’Haire’s got him on his shoulders, but Edge is punching away at Sean! Edge(RM18) rolls back down, and is trying to back drop O'Haire(Lipe) over the edge! That’s a good 20 feet of sheer drop! O'Haire’s gone over – WAIT! HE’S STILL HOLDING ON TO THE EDGE! O'Haire has a chance! He’s flipped himself over! He’s safe! But Chris Jericho(Figo) and Edge both hit him with a clothesline each! That had velocity, heat, and various other WWE shows to it!
Triple H(Ant) is up, and coming up the stairs! He’s after something to hurt! But as he’s climbing up the stairs, Sean O'Haire(Lipe) is pushing Edge(RM18) back down them! I don’t know how O'Haire got back up, took out The Ayatollah AND managed to subdue Edge, but that’s not important right now, as Y2J starts to follow, pushing Edge down towards the ring with O'Haire! And now Triple H is helping the other two push Edge to the ring, where he can be pinned, and his championship lost! They’ve muscled the Toronto native over the guard barrier, but Edge(RM18) is now running for his life – but there’s Kane(Starlight)! BIG BOOT! Good night, Edge! Kane picks Edge up, throws him in the ring, but Triple H, Jericho(Figo) and O'Haire(Lipe) have pounced on the Big Red Machine! They’ve obviously realised his power and ferocity, so now they’re isolating him and eliminating a threat!
Back in the ring, Rhyno(Random Hero) has been mauling Crash(Grandprix)-
*10 MINUTE WARNING*
10 minutes of this craziness left, folks! Hold on tight! Anyway, as I was saying, Rhyno(Random Hero) has all but killed Crash(Grandprix) by now, and now he focuses all his attention on the fallen Edge(RM18)! Edge is picked up by the Manbeast, and whipped hard into the corner! Rhyno charges – AND GORES EDGE! Rhyno doesn’t let Edge rest, though, as he holds Edge up – PILEDRIVER! Rhyno goes for the cover:
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Goldust(AJ) breaks up the count with a elbow and trash can lid combination from the top! Rhyno(Random Hero) rolls to the side, clutching at the back of his head, as Goldust makes a cover:
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3! Goldust(AJ) is the champion! 8:52 left, and Goldust is the man to get! But here’s Sean O'Haire(lipe)! He tries a running forearm, but Goldust ducks; kicks backwards – LOW BLOW! Nice shot! But as he turns to look at O'Haire – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno(Random Hero) gored Goldust out of nowhere! He covers him:
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Chris Jericho(Figo) breaks it up with a kendo stick! He pulls Rhyno(Random Hero) away from Goldust(AJ), and covers the Bizarre One himself:
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3! Jericho(Figo) takes the title with 8:33 left on the clock! But Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is back up, absolutely soaked in blood! HOLD ON! PEDIGREE ON THE OUTSIDE TO KANE! Triple H(Ant) has made his mark, and Kane(Starlight) won’t be seeing too much action in this match anymore! Back in the ring, and Eddie Guerrero is now testing Chris Jericho’s ability to wrestle – arm drag by Guerrero; one by Jericho to Latino Heat; Eddie responds with a headlock; Y2J backs them both into the ropes; Eddie shot into the ropes; Jericho leapfrogs him, grabs a frying pan, as Guerrero goes back into the ropes; Eddie returns, Jericho swings the pan, misses, Eddie tries to dropkick Jericho; misses the kick, as Jericho boots Guerrero in the gut; Eddie’s up, Jericho swings the pan again, but Eddie grabs the pan from Y2J’s grasp – WHAT A SHOT BY GUERRERO! Jericho’s out! That could be it! Cover:
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KICK OUT! HOW?! Stunning resilience by a beaten and bloodied Canadian champion! Eddie looks shocked as he starts protesting to the ref, but Triple H(Ant) has now made a slow, calculated entrance into the ring, trying to avoid as many other wrestlers as possible – he’s gone straight for Jericho(Figo), picks him up, double-underhooks the arms – PEDIGREE! Triple H makes the- NO! He sneaks behind Eddie – LOW BLOW! Hooks the arms – PEDIGREE AGAIN! Helmsley goes back over to Jericho, makes the cover:
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3! Triple H(Ant) gets the mantle, but can he hold on? There’s 6:56 left for him to survive – it’ll be difficult! And Rhyno(Random Hero) is back up! Trips notices this, and he scrams up to the lorry! Rhyno is giving chase, and they’re both on the top of the lorry – GORE! GORE ! GORE! Rhyno manages to gore Triple H in the back as he was running away! Rhyno can’t let up – he’s not going to! Lifts him up – PILEDRIVER ON THE LORRY! Rhyno’s picked Triple H back up, and he’s thrown him all the way back into the ring from the lorry! And now – SPLASH BY RHY- NO! Crash(Grandprix) pulled HHH out of the way, kicks Rhyno hard in the head, and covers The Game:
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3! Crash(Grandprix) is now the champ! Exactly 5 minutes left! But O'Haire(Lipe)’s right behind him – he picks him up in a Torture Rack, BUT DROPS HIM IN A REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER, RIGHT ON A TRASH CAN! He goes for the cover:
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Goldust(AJ) pulls O'Haire(Lipe) off Crash(Grandprix)! Goldust drags O'Haire up by the neck, dragon sleeper position, lifts him up – CURTAIN CALL ON SEAN O'HAIRE! And now Goldust has picked Crash up – he’s pushed him into the corner, and has separated the legs – this looks bad for Crash! Goldust runs over to the other corner; he takes a run-up to Crash – GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhyno, yet again, gores someone! And now, Rhyno notices that Crash is hung up in the corner – NO! GOOD GOD! GORE TO THE GROIN OF CRASH! Rhyno pulls Crash down, and goes for another cover:
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Jericho(Figo) breaks up the count! Rhyno(Random Hero) is incensed, as he starts to pound away on Chris Jericho! This is insane – we’ve got Rhyno mugging Jericho, Kane(Starlight)’s had his face crushed on the outside, Crash(Grandprix) has been castrated, but here’s Edge(RM18)! Edge(RM18) makes the cover on the fallen Crash Holly:
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CRASH KICKS OUT! CRASH KICKS OUT! Edge(RM18) can’t believe it! And neither can I! As Edge looks on, bemused, Crash(Grandprix) manages to sneak away, without anyone noticing – except for Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man)! Eddie and Crash are now battling on the outside, punching and kicking for all they’re worth! But Crash manages to land a few knees to the stomach of the El Paso resident, and now is searching underneath the ring for something – the trusty 2x4! He swings it, but Eddie ducks; swings again, but misses once more; Eddie’s clearly tired of this, and hits a low blow to Crash! He grabs the 2x4 off Crash, and smacks it over his head! Eddie has the championship in his sights! He throws Crash in the ring, and makes the cover:
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Rhyno(Random Hero) breaks it up this time! Rhyno hits a low dropkick, right into Eddie’s head, which leaves the door wide open for Rhyno to get the pin! Cover:
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Crash(Grandprix) kicks out again! Unbelievable! With just over 3 minutes left, Crash is doing his darnedest to keep hold of that title! Rhyno(Random Hero) has done his best to get the title, but he just can’t! Triple H(Ant) still hasn’t recovered from that devastating piledriver on the lorry, and Kane(Starlight) isn’t moving from that Pedigree on the outside. Edge(RM18) has now taken issue with Rhyno, as he whips him into the ropes, AND GOES FOR THE SPEAR- BUT RHYNO WENT FOR THE GORE! THEIR HEADS CRACKED TOGETHER! They’re both out of it! And now both Sean O'Haire(Lipe) and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) are back up, and are after Crash! O’Haire charges at Crash, but the champ throws him over the rope! But Eddie’s still here – Crash kicks him in the stomach, and now – hauls him up into a piledriver position – steps over the arms – CRASH LANDING! STYLES CLASH! Call it what you like, it’s damned effective, and has given Crash the upper hand! But Goldust(AJ) is back up now, still clutching at his mid-section after that devastating gore by Rhyno, but he’s now behind Crash – CURTAIN CALL! Goldust makes the cover:
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3! Goldust(AJ) has the title! 1:58 left! Can he hold on? His first move as champion is to run up to the lorry, and pounce on it! He’s now far away from the action, safe as can be! But Chris Jericho(Figo) is now on call! He’s noticed who’s champion, and he wants to change it! But – he not going onto the lorry, but he’s slid out of the ring, beside the giant vehicle – and now he’s got himself a table! And he’s taking that table alongside the lorry – he’s setting it up behind the lorry! What’s he doing this for? But wait! From the other side of the lorry, here’s a partially recovered Sean O'Haire(Lipe)! He’s assaults Y2J with shockingly hard, forceful shots to the face, and has now laid out Jericho on the table! Edge(RM18) has now managed to wander aimlessly towards the table, where O'Haire is waiting patiently to get hold of some fresh meat! More obscenely hard shots to Edge, and now he is also on the table! Sean O'Haire has a plan, surely! But Triple H(Ant) is up, and he’s snuck up onto the lorry, behind Goldust! Still sneaking… LOW BLOW TO THE CHAMP! HHH turns him around, and – NO! A PEDIGREE! A PEDIGREE ON THE DAMN LORRY! Goldust could be concussed if he’s lucky! Triple H, looking extremely pleased with himself, is now concentrating on Sean O'Haire, who seems to be executing some sort of fiendish plan – he’s started to climb for the top of the lorry!
Triple H(Ant) doesn’t know whether to help or hinder this attempt by Sean O'Haire(Lipe) – at the moment, he’s just watching, waiting to see if O'Haire will attack him… O'Haire is on the top of the lorry now! They’re looking at each other – eyeballing each other… and HHH swings at O'Haire! They’re having a common fistfight right now! But here’s Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) to spice up the mix! Both O'Haire and Helmsley are targeting Latino Heat, but now O'Haire has left that mini-brawl, wanders to the back edge of the lorry – he jumps! – SEANTON BOMB OFF THE LORRY THROUGH THE TABLE! O'Haire has decimated Edge(RM18) and Jericho(Figo)!
*1 MINUTE WARNING*
Just 1 minute left, folks, with Goldust(AJ) as the champion! But he’s been laid out on the lorry! Triple H(Ant) and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) are having a fistfight on the lorry as well, with Kane(Starlight) on the outside, dead, and Rhyno(Random Hero) in the ring with Crash(Grandprix), who are both down and out! But Rhyno is moving! He’s moving! And he’s up! He’s going straight after Goldust, by the looks of it, but first – GORE! GORE! GORE! Gore to Triple H, and a low blow for Guerrero! And now Rhyno has got Goldust, and is dragging him off the lorry, and has dropped him into the ring! Rhyno joins him in the ring, hauls him up – PILEDRIVER ON THE KITCHEN SINK! Goldust must be completely out! Rhyno gets the cover:
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3! At last, Rhyno(Random Hero) gets the pin, and Rhyno has the belt! 30 seconds left! And Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) is up after that low blow! He leaps off the lorry – AND FROG SPLASHES THE FALLEN CRASH HOLLY! But now he’s back up, and going for Rhyno – both have weapons! Rhyno has a stop sign, Guerrero, a baking tray! Both swing – CRASH! They hit each other’s weapon! Again – CRASH! Same result! But now Eddie, desperate for a pin, kicks Rhyno in the gut – THREE SHOTS WITH THE BAKING TRAY! Rhyno’s head got smashed! Eddie covers:
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KICK OUT! 10 seconds left! Eddie’s got virtually no time left now! He stamps on Rhyno’s throat, and goes for the turnbuckle! Eddie’s climbing slowly, due to that crack in his head, but he’s up there – he loses his balance slightly, but has regained it – FROG SPLASH ON RHYNO! He’s got the cover:
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*Time over buzzer!*
3! Did he? NO! It was too late! By mere milliseconds, Rhyno(Random Hero) has officially won the SRW Euro-Continental Championship! Incredible! Just about everyone in this match now has some form of injury, the set is almost destroyed, the technical area is barely working at all, and the ring is covered in blood! We’ve got a huge team of EMTs now rushing down to the ring, some substitute technical staff to keep the show going, a couple of cleaners to clean the ring of the blood, some more backstage crew men to get rid of all the weapons, and a team of men to get the lorry out of the arena!
The lorry is being reversed out of the arena, and directed by the men there, while the EMTs deal with the wounded wrestlers, all nine of them! The ring is coming along nicely, and we seem to be working again in terms of the technical team. The first of the combatants has been wheeled away on a stretcher, that’s Goldust(AJ), and Kane(Starlight) is also in need of one. The lorry has gone now, and it seems that the set will not need very much to be repaired – in fact, all the crew are doing is pushing back together the parts that were separated by the lorry’s charge! Nice and simple, guys!
Well, we’ve got some truly fantastic matches still on the card tonight, so I would advise you to get ready for them now, as we clear the arena of the remnants of this chaos. Congratulations go to Rhyno(Random Hero) for winning the match, but also to all the wrestlers in this match for putting on a fantastic show!
That’s SRW, and that’s all!
***
Well, no devastatingly lasting injuries to speak of, Rhyno as the new Euro-Continental champion, it all seems fair.
Well done to Random Hero for his victory.
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This match ruled.
I like a good long match...have to read them in chunks though...
I enjoyed that match, should of read it earlier but the title of the topic only had Triple H and Jericho in it so I didn't realise I was in it.
Good match though.
*Celerbrates*
Good match though.
*Celerbrates*
See I told u this match ruled!
Wahey! Top match! Took me ages to read! Woah... I'm tired of reading now... Ive just red 3 matches...
Wow. A good win for Rhyno in the end of a classic LL Cool TT brutal match. Well done! :)
Wow. A good win for Rhyno in the end of a classic LL Cool TT brutal match. Well done! :)
Hehe! Fantastic! I didn't expect Crash to win it but he held on to it for ages! Rhyno definitely deserved it.
That match was out of the top draw and with anything going and with all those wrestlers involved, you had plenty to work with. Trying to keep up with where everyone is is probably the hardest thing.
Absolutely fantastic. LL is back! :D
That match was out of the top draw and with anything going and with all those wrestlers involved, you had plenty to work with. Trying to keep up with where everyone is is probably the hardest thing.
Absolutely fantastic. LL is back! :D
*Remembers this is Time Limit Title*
*Opens his Championship Records file on Word and gets to work*
:D
Totally awesome. As always with LL, he comes up with the most original and innovative SRW wrestling I've ever seen, I really enjoyed that match, I was literally on the edge of my seat. All the stuff backstage in the technical area, in the ring with the monster Kane (Starlight), myself as HHH finally arriving in the lorry and Crash (Grandprix)'s antics.
I don't think I've ever see so many gores in my life and therefore I think Rhyno (Random Hero) deserved the victory, the NEW Euro-Continental Champion.
Amazing. :D
*Opens his Championship Records file on Word and gets to work*
:D
Totally awesome. As always with LL, he comes up with the most original and innovative SRW wrestling I've ever seen, I really enjoyed that match, I was literally on the edge of my seat. All the stuff backstage in the technical area, in the ring with the monster Kane (Starlight), myself as HHH finally arriving in the lorry and Crash (Grandprix)'s antics.
I don't think I've ever see so many gores in my life and therefore I think Rhyno (Random Hero) deserved the victory, the NEW Euro-Continental Champion.
Amazing. :D
WOAAAHHH!!! I just read that! What a match! Good thing it was so long! Great stuff LL, 1st match I've seen from you and you are a great writing! Great Stuff there, the action never stopped :D
Thats because were too good Lipe :)
Tanfastic LL, your known for your extremely long matches and that one certainly proved it. Although it was long, the action stayed the same throughout - brilliant! And that was one brutal match. Nice one, That break obviously did you good my man :)
FreeFall is going to plan...
Excellant *twiddles thumbs* :)
Tanfastic LL, your known for your extremely long matches and that one certainly proved it. Although it was long, the action stayed the same throughout - brilliant! And that was one brutal match. Nice one, That break obviously did you good my man :)
FreeFall is going to plan...
Excellant *twiddles thumbs* :)
Cor blimey...that may well be the longest match by a single writer in the history of SRW...and did the action falter or let up for one single second? Of course it didn't! World class writing.
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