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"Confused"

Ok this is a bit crap - But still I had nothing else to do, please post opinions. Thanks.

*******

"Who are you?" Ted wailed.

A tall, dark and mysterious creature wearing a cloak, stood before his eyes. The cloak draped over its face and body. It stood there completely still, like some statue you'd see in a town.

"Oi! I asked you a question - Who are you!" Ted bellowed at the top of his voice. The creature stood motionless. Ted gazed around his strange surroundings, everywhere was completely white, and just seemed like an endless room with no exit. It's just him and it, nothing else. No animals, no plants, no humans.

"Where Am I?" Ted screamed - aware that he wasn’t at home with the comforts of his family. Still, The creature stood stationary with no signs of movement. Shakingly, Ted began to stroll towards it, now curious as to why he's here. He walked and walked, but never seemed to get any closer to the creature, as if he was on some sort of invisible treadmill.

"SAY SOMETHING THEN!" Ted shouted. Silence. No wind, no noise, no traffic. The vibrantly black creature never moved or spoke - just stood. He stopped walking and fell to the ground to rest. Breathless. He sat and pondered over where he was, and who this is.

"Wh...wh..why am I here?" He spluttered with effort. But the creature showed no sign of attempting to communicate. Ted, still on the ground, sat confused like a dog.

"Well all I can remember before being here is using the chip pan, God I make nice chips" Ted mumbled to himself
"God I make heavenly chips" He licked his lips and comforted himself.

"Welcome to Hell" said the creature, angrily.

Thanks Black Glove.

My fave thing of this is the Oxymoron: -

"vibrantly black"

I liked that.

This is good. There's some intersting phrases in there. The ending is strangely amusing.

Heh. Cheers RoJ/Cid. :)

At least it doesn't take the usual aproach(sp) with all the fire and stuff like that. Not as bad as some people are making it out to be.

I don't think its all that bad. It is different in the fact that it describes hell, most people never tackle that.

I get it a little more now. Thanks for clearing it up.

it weren't very bad it was just bad...

He's dead and in Hell.

The story portrays Hell as just a white space with only one person and Satan (the creature) with no sound, just them.

I guess I did'nt explain Ted's death properly - He died in a chip pan fire accident.

I'm lost. I don't get it.

:D