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Not sure about this, don't think I managed to fully convey what I wanted to. Actually not even sure what I wanted to convey. It's only short.
******************
It's a beautiful morning with the sun shining and the grass still slightly damp beneath my paws. I'm so pleased my owner brought me to the park and she brought the ball for me to chase but why is she lying down?
Look, I brought the ball back to you. Oh, she's ignoring me, must be a new game. I know, she lays on the sofa thing they keep shouting at me to get off just like this, I'll lick her face, she always gets up then.
Okay I'll try this, it always makes her laugh. Well I got the position right - stretch out front paws stick rear end in the air and wag tail - still ignoring me! I bounce around, bark, put my paws on her and she still isn't moving. Guess I'll just lie down here beside you but it gets boring just looking at the grass, I want to play.
What's that noise? Oh, it's Sam with his owners, great they'll play with me. Sam and I have a great time running around and fighting over the ball, this will be better. Now what's all the shouting about. Sam's female owner has hold of me and will not let me go no matter how much I wriggle - LET ME GO, I bark.
I hate these rooms, they smell and remind me of pain, I'm confused, why did Sams' owner bring me here. I want my owner. Now what are they doing? Hey get off my ears I growl. Ouch no need to slap me! What are they saying? James? I know that word so I jump around wagging my tail again.
They've stuck me in a cage, boring, there is not enough room in here to even chase my tail and people are now walking pass me and ignoring me no matter how much I bark or wag my tail.
Here's James, my other owner, I knew I recognised the word. He is always pleased to see me happy so I'll wag my tail again. Whoa what's this, okay we'll get the human urge to hug and pat me out of the way. Why did he say "There's just you and me now boy", like I totally understand that but I lick his face anyway, it's all wet and tastes funny.
He's put my lead on me so I'll drag him out of here. I want to go home to see my female owner and jump around all over her to show what an interesting day I've had since I last saw her. Make her laugh and play with my favourite toy. C'mon, c'mon, we have to go, I can't wait, I know she'll want to take me to the park again.
******************
It's a beautiful morning with the sun shining and the grass still slightly damp beneath my paws. I'm so pleased my owner brought me to the park and she brought the ball for me to chase but why is she lying down?
Look, I brought the ball back to you. Oh, she's ignoring me, must be a new game. I know, she lays on the sofa thing they keep shouting at me to get off just like this, I'll lick her face, she always gets up then.
Okay I'll try this, it always makes her laugh. Well I got the position right - stretch out front paws stick rear end in the air and wag tail - still ignoring me! I bounce around, bark, put my paws on her and she still isn't moving. Guess I'll just lie down here beside you but it gets boring just looking at the grass, I want to play.
What's that noise? Oh, it's Sam with his owners, great they'll play with me. Sam and I have a great time running around and fighting over the ball, this will be better. Now what's all the shouting about. Sam's female owner has hold of me and will not let me go no matter how much I wriggle - LET ME GO, I bark.
I hate these rooms, they smell and remind me of pain, I'm confused, why did Sams' owner bring me here. I want my owner. Now what are they doing? Hey get off my ears I growl. Ouch no need to slap me! What are they saying? James? I know that word so I jump around wagging my tail again.
They've stuck me in a cage, boring, there is not enough room in here to even chase my tail and people are now walking pass me and ignoring me no matter how much I bark or wag my tail.
Here's James, my other owner, I knew I recognised the word. He is always pleased to see me happy so I'll wag my tail again. Whoa what's this, okay we'll get the human urge to hug and pat me out of the way. Why did he say "There's just you and me now boy", like I totally understand that but I lick his face anyway, it's all wet and tastes funny.
He's put my lead on me so I'll drag him out of here. I want to go home to see my female owner and jump around all over her to show what an interesting day I've had since I last saw her. Make her laugh and play with my favourite toy. C'mon, c'mon, we have to go, I can't wait, I know she'll want to take me to the park again.
I thought it worked well. I was afraid the poor dog was going to put-down at the end.... thankfully it didn't happen. Good one.
Great, that's what I wanted the reader to feel but as I knew how the story would pan out I wasn't sure that it was easy to pick up. When I wrote it I did have in mind my own dog who is only 2 years old.
I like it - a real sense of pity and sadness occurs for the dog. Top notch stuff.
Poor doggy. I felt sorry for the little thing. Nicely written I think. An interesting view point and I liked the way the dog had no idea like I would expect the dog too. I'm taking a guess that it was a fairly young dog?
No, no, I'm sure that's not the case. I'm sure you just read it too quickly :)
Oh, okay. I must be stupid.
Thanks and Dark Wolf, yes she is dead. You were supposed to understand it from the second to last paragraph but the dog wouldn't.
Woa - That was great Indeedsleep! Nice and short - But I beleive you conveyed the point that the story is getting across.
I loved how you put it from the dog's point of view.
Good stuff :)
I loved how you put it from the dog's point of view.
Good stuff :)
It's a short story. Good, but some of it I didn't really understand. Why was the owner ignoring the dog. Was she dead or something?
Not sure about this, don't think I managed to fully convey what I wanted to. Actually not even sure what I wanted to convey. It's only short.
******************
It's a beautiful morning with the sun shining and the grass still slightly damp beneath my paws. I'm so pleased my owner brought me to the park and she brought the ball for me to chase but why is she lying down?
Look, I brought the ball back to you. Oh, she's ignoring me, must be a new game. I know, she lays on the sofa thing they keep shouting at me to get off just like this, I'll lick her face, she always gets up then.
Okay I'll try this, it always makes her laugh. Well I got the position right - stretch out front paws stick rear end in the air and wag tail - still ignoring me! I bounce around, bark, put my paws on her and she still isn't moving. Guess I'll just lie down here beside you but it gets boring just looking at the grass, I want to play.
What's that noise? Oh, it's Sam with his owners, great they'll play with me. Sam and I have a great time running around and fighting over the ball, this will be better. Now what's all the shouting about. Sam's female owner has hold of me and will not let me go no matter how much I wriggle - LET ME GO, I bark.
I hate these rooms, they smell and remind me of pain, I'm confused, why did Sams' owner bring me here. I want my owner. Now what are they doing? Hey get off my ears I growl. Ouch no need to slap me! What are they saying? James? I know that word so I jump around wagging my tail again.
They've stuck me in a cage, boring, there is not enough room in here to even chase my tail and people are now walking pass me and ignoring me no matter how much I bark or wag my tail.
Here's James, my other owner, I knew I recognised the word. He is always pleased to see me happy so I'll wag my tail again. Whoa what's this, okay we'll get the human urge to hug and pat me out of the way. Why did he say "There's just you and me now boy", like I totally understand that but I lick his face anyway, it's all wet and tastes funny.
He's put my lead on me so I'll drag him out of here. I want to go home to see my female owner and jump around all over her to show what an interesting day I've had since I last saw her. Make her laugh and play with my favourite toy. C'mon, c'mon, we have to go, I can't wait, I know she'll want to take me to the park again.
******************
It's a beautiful morning with the sun shining and the grass still slightly damp beneath my paws. I'm so pleased my owner brought me to the park and she brought the ball for me to chase but why is she lying down?
Look, I brought the ball back to you. Oh, she's ignoring me, must be a new game. I know, she lays on the sofa thing they keep shouting at me to get off just like this, I'll lick her face, she always gets up then.
Okay I'll try this, it always makes her laugh. Well I got the position right - stretch out front paws stick rear end in the air and wag tail - still ignoring me! I bounce around, bark, put my paws on her and she still isn't moving. Guess I'll just lie down here beside you but it gets boring just looking at the grass, I want to play.
What's that noise? Oh, it's Sam with his owners, great they'll play with me. Sam and I have a great time running around and fighting over the ball, this will be better. Now what's all the shouting about. Sam's female owner has hold of me and will not let me go no matter how much I wriggle - LET ME GO, I bark.
I hate these rooms, they smell and remind me of pain, I'm confused, why did Sams' owner bring me here. I want my owner. Now what are they doing? Hey get off my ears I growl. Ouch no need to slap me! What are they saying? James? I know that word so I jump around wagging my tail again.
They've stuck me in a cage, boring, there is not enough room in here to even chase my tail and people are now walking pass me and ignoring me no matter how much I bark or wag my tail.
Here's James, my other owner, I knew I recognised the word. He is always pleased to see me happy so I'll wag my tail again. Whoa what's this, okay we'll get the human urge to hug and pat me out of the way. Why did he say "There's just you and me now boy", like I totally understand that but I lick his face anyway, it's all wet and tastes funny.
He's put my lead on me so I'll drag him out of here. I want to go home to see my female owner and jump around all over her to show what an interesting day I've had since I last saw her. Make her laugh and play with my favourite toy. C'mon, c'mon, we have to go, I can't wait, I know she'll want to take me to the park again.