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Dear Special Reserve
I am writing to complain about the new FreeStyler board that arrived today.
If this is a peripheral of the future then the future looks very bleak indeed. I thought those maracas were bad enough, but this one really takes the biscuit.
Your description of this board made me believe that I could have a really good go at beating all my previous hi-scores on SSX Pro and Tony Hawks's SkateBoarding, but to my utter disgust, it's a no go.
For example, at the start of each race, I keep falling over as I push out from the gate, because the FreeStyler is not as glidy as it looks, having two little legs on the bottom which dig into your carpet. I thought the remedy might be to try launching from the top of my stairs, but found that:
(a) the cable wasn't long enough and I had to take my TV and PSX with me.
(b) trying to hold both of the above items and hurtle down the stairs as fast as I could was not very efficient.
(c) my carpet still got ruined.
In an effort to rectify this, I had 14 tons of snow shipped into my living room, which helped matters somewhat, making the feel of the game realistic, but now I can't find my cat, those little legs just kept digging in and my carpets have been soaked.
And when it comes to doing an inverted backflip with a 720 twist, the cable keeps getting wrapped around my legs, which makes landing more awkward than you would normally expect.
I want my money back, and I enclose an invoice for the replacement cost my livingroom carpets, my stairwell carpets and a Persian kitten.
I await your response,
Mr. Stupid.
I am writing to complain about the new FreeStyler board that arrived today.
If this is a peripheral of the future then the future looks very bleak indeed. I thought those maracas were bad enough, but this one really takes the biscuit.
Your description of this board made me believe that I could have a really good go at beating all my previous hi-scores on SSX Pro and Tony Hawks's SkateBoarding, but to my utter disgust, it's a no go.
For example, at the start of each race, I keep falling over as I push out from the gate, because the FreeStyler is not as glidy as it looks, having two little legs on the bottom which dig into your carpet. I thought the remedy might be to try launching from the top of my stairs, but found that:
(a) the cable wasn't long enough and I had to take my TV and PSX with me.
(b) trying to hold both of the above items and hurtle down the stairs as fast as I could was not very efficient.
(c) my carpet still got ruined.
In an effort to rectify this, I had 14 tons of snow shipped into my living room, which helped matters somewhat, making the feel of the game realistic, but now I can't find my cat, those little legs just kept digging in and my carpets have been soaked.
And when it comes to doing an inverted backflip with a 720 twist, the cable keeps getting wrapped around my legs, which makes landing more awkward than you would normally expect.
I want my money back, and I enclose an invoice for the replacement cost my livingroom carpets, my stairwell carpets and a Persian kitten.
I await your response,
Mr. Stupid.
I hate to say it, but LOL! (argh! netspeak!)
If this isn't the winning entry in today's Gameaday, I'll eat my hat.
hehehe, little do they suspect that I don't have a hat! (did I just type that?) d'oh!
Good luck FM.
If this isn't the winning entry in today's Gameaday, I'll eat my hat.
hehehe, little do they suspect that I don't have a hat! (did I just type that?) d'oh!
Good luck FM.
Dear Special Reserve
I am writing to complain about the new FreeStyler board that arrived today.
If this is a peripheral of the future then the future looks very bleak indeed. I thought those maracas were bad enough, but this one really takes the biscuit.
Your description of this board made me believe that I could have a really good go at beating all my previous hi-scores on SSX Pro and Tony Hawks's SkateBoarding, but to my utter disgust, it's a no go.
For example, at the start of each race, I keep falling over as I push out from the gate, because the FreeStyler is not as glidy as it looks, having two little legs on the bottom which dig into your carpet. I thought the remedy might be to try launching from the top of my stairs, but found that:
(a) the cable wasn't long enough and I had to take my TV and PSX with me.
(b) trying to hold both of the above items and hurtle down the stairs as fast as I could was not very efficient.
(c) my carpet still got ruined.
In an effort to rectify this, I had 14 tons of snow shipped into my living room, which helped matters somewhat, making the feel of the game realistic, but now I can't find my cat, those little legs just kept digging in and my carpets have been soaked.
And when it comes to doing an inverted backflip with a 720 twist, the cable keeps getting wrapped around my legs, which makes landing more awkward than you would normally expect.
I want my money back, and I enclose an invoice for the replacement cost my livingroom carpets, my stairwell carpets and a Persian kitten.
I await your response,
Mr. Stupid.
I am writing to complain about the new FreeStyler board that arrived today.
If this is a peripheral of the future then the future looks very bleak indeed. I thought those maracas were bad enough, but this one really takes the biscuit.
Your description of this board made me believe that I could have a really good go at beating all my previous hi-scores on SSX Pro and Tony Hawks's SkateBoarding, but to my utter disgust, it's a no go.
For example, at the start of each race, I keep falling over as I push out from the gate, because the FreeStyler is not as glidy as it looks, having two little legs on the bottom which dig into your carpet. I thought the remedy might be to try launching from the top of my stairs, but found that:
(a) the cable wasn't long enough and I had to take my TV and PSX with me.
(b) trying to hold both of the above items and hurtle down the stairs as fast as I could was not very efficient.
(c) my carpet still got ruined.
In an effort to rectify this, I had 14 tons of snow shipped into my living room, which helped matters somewhat, making the feel of the game realistic, but now I can't find my cat, those little legs just kept digging in and my carpets have been soaked.
And when it comes to doing an inverted backflip with a 720 twist, the cable keeps getting wrapped around my legs, which makes landing more awkward than you would normally expect.
I want my money back, and I enclose an invoice for the replacement cost my livingroom carpets, my stairwell carpets and a Persian kitten.
I await your response,
Mr. Stupid.